Meaning Jokes

Following is our collection of term humor and connotation one-liner funnies working better than reddit jokes. They include Meaning puns for adults, dirty literal jokes or clean yo mama so mean gags for kids.

There is an abundance of poly jokes out there. You're fortunate to read a set of the 60 funniest jokes on meaning. Full with funny wisecracks it is even funnier than any synonym witze you can hear about meaning.

The Best jokes about Meaning

Kim Jong Un decided to send Donald Trump a letter in his own handwriting to let him know he was still alive.

Trump opened the letter which appeared to contain a single-line coded message:

370HSSV - 0773H

Trump was baffled, so he emailed it to the his aides, who had no clue either, so they sent it to the FBI

No one could solve it at FBI, so it went to the CIA. With no clue as to its meaning, FBI finally asked MSS (Ministry of State Security in China for help.

Within a few seconds MSS cabled back with this reply:

"Tell The President he's holding the message upside down."

The use of a colon can really change the intended meaning of a sentence.

Jimmy went to school and ate his lunch

becomes

Jimmy went to school and ate his colon

Comas can really change the meaning of a sentence...

For instance:
"Ben is in a hurry."
"Ben is in a coma."

An etymologist, an entomologist, and an etiologist walk into a bar.

"What'll it be?" The bartender asks.

"I'll have a beer," the etymologist says. "A word which comes from Latin *bibere*, meaning "to drink".

"I'll have an Americano," the entomologist says. "It was originally dyed with crushed beetles!"

The bartender gets them their drinks. "And for you, sir?" he asks the third man.

"I'm just wondering how I got here," the etiologist replies.

Commas can change the meaning of a sentence.

Example:

I like to eat apples. ---> I like to eat commas.


My friend told me that I don't understand the meaning of irony...

...which was ironic because we were at a train station

Son asks his dad the meaning of the word gay

Dad, what does gay mean?

Well, it can mean two things. It can mean that a man is attracted to another man. Or it could mean happy.

Dad, are you gay?

No son, I'm married to your mother.

The use of capitals can really change the meaning of a sentence

Example:

I like to eat candy

I like to eat capitals

The iPhone X removes the home button.

Meaning you'll be homeless on several different levels.

A Dictionary and a Thesaurus are in a library...

A Dictionary and a Thesaurus are in a library. The librarian who has taken good care of them for years and years is retiring. Understandably, the Dictionary and Thesaurus are both sad.

The Thesaurus says to the Dictionary "I can see how distraught you are."

The Dictionary responds "You don't even know the meaning of the word."

The Thesaurus then says "But I know what it's like."

Comas can change the meaning of a sentence.

For example:

"Donald is in a hurry."

"Donald is in a coma."


4/20 It's Hitler's birthday today...

... I guess that brings a whole another meaning to "Smoking a J"

I wanted to thank everyone for sticking with me while I figured out the meaning of many

It means a lot

Two chemists walk into a bar.

The first chemist, who had a major disagreement with the second and knows the second chemist only drink water, says to the bartender, "I'll take some H2O."

The second chemist automatically responds, "I'll take some H2O too."

The bartender shrugs then turns around and promptly gives the first chemist his glass of water, and the second chemist a glass of water too... because the bartender is an adult and can infer meaning from contextual clues.

You think YOU have a meaningless job?

Think about the guy who makes turn signals at the BMW factory.

What's the difference between men and women when watching video?

The phrase I went through a whole box of tissues watching that film. usually has a completely different meaning.

A Doctor and engineer

A doctor and an engineer loved the same girl.
Doctor used to give her a rose daily
and engineer used to give the girl an apple.
Girl got confused and asked engineer : There is a meaning of giving rose in Love,
Why are you giving apple ?
Engineer answered : Because
"An apple a day keeps the doctor away".

The Meaning of dreams

One morning, after she woke up, a woman told her husband, "I just dreamed that you gave me a diamond necklace for Valentine's Day. What do you think it means?" "Maybe you'll find out tonight…," he said.

That evening, the man came home with a small package and gave it to his wife. Delighted, she opened it - to find a book entitled:"The Meaning of Dreams."

I've been meaning to make more friends recently...

So I've joined a suicide cult and I'm going to hang with them for a while.


What do you call a joke with no meaning?

Life

When I went to Heavan...

I meet with Paul the Saint. He points to a bunch of clocks behind him

Paul: These are clocks that measure how honest you are. Yours is at 12:45, meaning you have lied 45 times in your lifetime
Me: Whose that clock at 12:00 belongs to?
Paul: That's Mother Teresa's. She has been a perfect person and has never lied
Me: Then whose that one at 11:59? Is he even better than Mother Teresa?
Paul: No. That one belongs to Bill Clinton. He lied so much during his presidency, the clock almost resets to 12:00
Me: I wonder, where's Donald Trump's clock?
Paul: Trump? Its in my office. I am using it as a desk fan

Thanks for explaining the meaning of the word 'plethora' to me.

That means a lot.

Just found out my alcoholic uncle is into necrophilia

Gives a whole new meaning to 'cracking open a cold one.'

Some men are discussing the meaning of life...

Some men are sitting around discussing the meaning of life.

One turns and asks the others, "If tomorrow all your loved ones found themselves at a funeral, gathered around your casket, what would you want to hear them say?"

One starts off saying, "I hope they would say I was a good father and husband".

The next says "I want them to say I was not only successful, but a kind and generous man too".

"I'd want them to say", says the last man, "Hey look, he's moving!"

A man in his backyard (Warning: May be offending)

After a stressful day, one man comes home and sits in his backyard, drinking a beer. As he's getting up to get a snack, he stops and asks, "Jesus, what is the meaning of life?"

To which Jesus replies,"You slave in the sun to support the ones you love. You make money so you can buy things for your family to keep them happy."

The man asks,"Jesus, why is life so hard?"

To which Jesus replies,"That, no one may ever know. You have to overcome many obstacles to be successful."

The man asks again,"How was the universe created?"

Jesus replies,"I'm sorry, seΓ±or, but can you stop asking questions? I'm trying to mow your lawn."

The word politics is derived from two words

The word poly meaning many and the word ticks meaning blood sucking parasite.

A man goes to heaven, but the first thing he noticed was a wall covered in clocks.

He asks an angel "What are those clocks for?"

"Each clocks shows represents each human on Earth. Every time they lie, the clock goes a head by one minute. For example, this is the Pope's clock, it has never moved, meaning never in his life has he lied."

The angel goes on. "This is Abraham Lincoln's clock. It's only moved twice, meaning Lincoln only lied twice!"

The man asks "Is there clocks for other politicians?"

The angel says "Clocks of other politicians? We use those as ceiling fans for the offices."

We use a very accurate term to describe our government.

Politics, poly meaning many, and ticks meaning bloodsucking creatures.

My mom told me this joke the first time she met my gf.

What are three 2 letter words meaning small?

Is it in?

A colon can dramatically change the meaning of a sentence.

Example:

I ate Julie's sandwich.

I ate Julie's colon.

Paraprosdokians

*A paraprosdokian is a figure of speech in which the latter part of a sentence or phrase is surprising or unexpected in a way that causes the reader or listener to reframe or reinterpret the first part. Some paraprosdokians not only change the meaning of an early phrase, but they also play on the double meaning of a particular word, creating a form of syllepsis.*

Where there's a will ... I want to be in it.

I like going to the park and watching the children run around ... because they don't know I'm using blanks. (Emo Philips)

The last thing I want to do is hurt you. But it's still on my list.

You can always count on the Americans to do the right thing ... after they have tried everything else. (Winston Churchill)

I didn't say it was your fault, I said I was blaming you.

In filling out an application, where it says, 'In case of emergency, Notify:' ... I put 'DOCTOR'.

If I am reading this graph correctly ... I'd be very surprised. (Stephen Colbert)

You do not need a parachute to skydive. You only need a parachute to skydive twice.

I don't belong to an organized political party. I'm a Democrat. (Will Rogers)

Going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more than standing in a garage makes you a car.

I've had a perfectly wonderful evening, but this wasn't it. (Groucho Marx)

You're never too old to learn ...something stupid.


A man in his backyard....

After a stressful day, one man comes home and sits in his backyard, drinking a beer. As he's getting up to get a snack, he stops and asks, "Jesus, what is the meaning of life?"

To which Jesus replies,"You slave in the sun to support the ones you love. You make money so you can buy things for your family to keep them happy."

The man asks,"Jesus, why is life so hard?"

To which Jesus replies,"That, no one may ever know. You have to overcome many obstacles to be successful."

The man asks again,"How was the universe created?"

Jesus replies,"I'm sorry, seΓ±or, but can you stop asking questions? I'm trying to mow your lawn."

A boy asks his father what is the meaning of the Solar Eclipse?

The father replies "No son"

True meaning of Service.

At one time in my life, I thought I had a handle on the meaning of the word "service."

"It's the act of doing things for other people." Then I heard these terms which reference the word service:

* Internal Revenue Service
* Postal Service
* Telephone Service
* Civil Service
* City & County Public Service
* Customer Service
* Service Stations

Then I became confused about the word "service." This is not what I thought "service" meant.

So today, I overheard two farmers talking, and one of them said he had hired a bull to "service" a few of his cows. Suddenly, it all came into perspective. Now I understand what all those "service" agencies are all about.

I hope you now are as enlightened as I am.

TIL The chicken crossing the road jokes real meaning

To get to the other side was also a comment on the afterlife, as in the "other side" as in knowing he'd die crossing the road. I'm 37, heard this joke so many times, and not once put this together till now. /mind blown

The etymology of the word "politics" is surprisingly accurate.

"poly" meaning "many", and tics meaning "small bloodsucking parasites."

Caesar: Veni, vidi, vici

meaning I came, I saw, I conquered.
Which is probably useful for explaining why the strip club down the street now has the motto:
Veni, vidi, veni.

Thank you for explaining to me the meaning of redundant.

No really, thank you for explaining the meaning of the word redundant.

Meaning of... 'potentially' and 'realistically'

A young boy went up to his father and asked him, "Dad, what is the
difference between 'potentially' and 'realistically'?"

The father thought for a moment, then answered, "Go ask your mother
if she would sleep with Brad Pitt for a million dollars. Then ask
your sister if she would sleep with Brad Pitt for a million dollars,
and then, ask your brother if he'd sleep with Brad Pitt for a million
dollars. Come back and tell me what you learn from that."

So the boy went to his mother and asked, "Would you sleep with Brad
Pitt for a million dollars?"

The mother replied, "Of course, I would! We could really use that
money to fix up the house and send you kids to a great university!"

The boy then went to his sister and asked, "Would you sleep with Brad
Pitt for a million dollars?"

The girl replied, "Oh, good heavens! I LOVE Brad Pitt and I would
sleep with him in a heartbeat. Are you nuts?"

The boy then went to his brother and asked, "Would you sleep with
Brad Pitt for a million dollars?"

"Of course," the brother replied. "Do you know how much a million
bucks would buy?"

The boy pondered the answers for a few days and then went back to his dad.

His father asked him, "Did you find out the difference between
'potentially' and 'realistically'?"

The boy replied, "Yes, 'Potentially', you and I are sitting on three
million dollars, but 'realistically', we're living with two hookers
and a future congressman."

I don't know the meaning of the word "quit." I was going to look it up, but...

I still have some suicidal thoughts, but most of them have already killed themselves.

I'm a perfectionist. I've been writing and rewriting a suicide note for twelve years. It's killing me.

My friend asked, Must you write so many suicide jokes?
Don't worry. I'll stop soon.

I would like to thank the kind stranger I met on the bus this morning for teaching me the meaning of the word 'abundance'.

It means a lot.

TIL that the term "A stroke of luck" has more than one meaning-

-when my fortune teller gave me a handjob.

I've finally understood the meaning of "politics"

It's derived from "poly", the Greek word for "many", and "tics", a blood sucking parasite.

I have been meaning to discuss erectile dysfunction with my wife.

But it hasn't come up yet.

At the age of 25, I FINALLY learned the meaning of the numbers on a clock.

It's about time.

What's the meaning of eternal love?

Two blind people playing tennis.

true meaning of duck tape

duck tape turns a no no no to a hmm hmm hmm

I hate it

I hate it when people try to use big words when they clearly don't know their meaning. It makes them sound so gelatinous and isosceles.

What's the meaning of life?

No parole.

An entrepreneurial blonde is looking for some extra cash

So she goes door to door asking people if they have any odd jobs they need done. Around the third house or so, a sharply dressed man answers the door. She inquires about the jobs, and the wheels in his head start turning. He's been meaning to paint the massive porch that takes up the entire rear of his massive house, but such a job would take at least 3 hours.

"I'll give you $20 to paint my porch out back while I'm gone. I already have the paint and everything."

She happily agrees and totes the paint out back. He chuckles to himself as he gets into one of his many cars and heads out. That dumb broad will be at it all day, and it only cost him $20.

He comes home later, and she's just finishing up. She sees him and jogs up.

He grins. "finished?" He asks.

"Yeah and I even gave it 2 coats!"

"Are you sure? I didn't think there was enough paint there for two coats of the entire porch."

"Sure there was! There was even a little left over! Though I should tell you, it's not pronounced 'porch', it's pronounced 'Porsche'."

One of the main differences between men and women

Is the meaning of the phrase, "I used an entire box of tissues watching that movie."

Woody caught Buzz and Bo Peep having toy sex

Woody: "What's the meaning of this???!!"

Bo Peep: "You got a friend in me..."

Politics is self describing

The word politics comes from poli- meaning many,

and -tics, meaning blood sucking parasites.

"What time do I get off?" has an entirely different meaning when you work in the sex industry.

Periods can change a meaning of a sentence.

Example:

He likes to eat her out.

He likes to eat her periods out.

A doctor and an Engineer loved the same girl

The doctor gave her a rose everyday while the engineer gave her an apple. One day, the girl got confused and asked the engineer,

"The rose has a meaning but why do you give an apple everyday?"

The engineer replied,

"Why? An apple a day keeps the doctor away!"

There are several factors when talking about the meaning of life.

2, 3, and 7

20 reasons why chocolate is better than sex

1. you can *get* chocolate.

2. 'if you love me you'll swallow it' has real meaning with chocolate.

3. chocolate satisfies even when it has gone soft.

4. you can safely have chocolate while driving.

5. you can make chocolate last as long as you want it to.

6. you can have chocolate in front of your mother.

7. if you bite the nuts too hard the chocolate doesn't mind.

8. two people of the same sex can have chocolate without being called nasty names.

9. the word 'commitment' doesn't scare off chocolate.

10. you can have chocolate on top of your worktable or desk during working hours without upsetting your coworkers.

11. you can ask a stranger for chocolate without getting your face slapped.

12. you don't get hairs in your mouth with chocolate.

13. with chocolate there's no need to fake it.

14. chocolate doesn't make you pregnant.

15. you can have chocolate any time of the month.

16. good chocolate is easy to find.

17. you can have as many kinds of chocolate as you can handle.

18. you are never too young or too old for chocolate.

19. when you have chocolate it doesn't keep your neighbors awake.

20. with chocolate, size doesn't matter.

I thought I understood the meaning of when pigs fly,

But then the swine flew.

A boy asked his father what I meant to be gay

His father replied that it meant to be happy. The son thought about the meaning for a brief moment and then asked his father "Are You Gay?" His father responded, "No son, I married your mother."

Use only working piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Note that dirty and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. You can seriously offend people by saying creepy dark humor words to them.

Joko Jokes