Meanest Jokes

30 meanest jokes and hilarious meanest puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about meanest that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

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Funniest Meanest Short Jokes

Short meanest jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The meanest humour may include short hardest jokes also.

  1. Today I had the meanest, slowest, rudest cashier I've ever had. I guess it's my fault for using the self checkout.
  2. What is the meanest practical joke one can pull on a blind person? Leaving a plunger in the toilet.
  3. Statistic Joke A restaurant had a poster for the meanest spicy sandwich. I ordered it and it turned out to be very average.
  4. What is the meanest thing you could do to a blind person ? Leave the plunger on the toilet.
  5. What do you get when you cross a kid who's eaten enough sugar to send a rocket into orbit, and the meanest boy in the whole world? Hyperbole
  6. My dad is the meanest person in the world On Christmas Eve, he fired his air gun in to the sky, and came back inside to tell me that Santa has committed s**....

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Meanest One Liners

Which meanest one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with meanest? I can suggest the ones about ugliest and nicest.

  1. Why are chefs the meanest? Because they beat the eggs and whip the cream
  2. When are cooks at their meanest? When they mercilessly beat the eggs and whip the cream!
  3. I had the meanest math teacher in school. They were so average.
  4. What's the meanest thing you can say to someone else? You're average.
  5. I figured out why peanuts are the meanest food They're salty about something
  6. What's the meanest thing ever? When you ask a gnome : What will you be when you grow up?
  7. The meanest man in the world Is the Warden who put a tack on the electric chair.
  8. What's the meanest thing a cowboy can say to someone with no arms? Reach for the sky.
  9. What's the meanest thing you could say too a waiter after serving you ? Wait
  10. Who is the meanest principal The a**...-sistent principal

Meanest joke, Who is the meanest principal

Cheerful Meanest Jokes for Unforgettable Laughter with Friends!

What funny jokes about meanest you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean toughest jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make meanest pranks.


Businessman walks into a motel/brothel. Ask the lady working the front desk...I'd like a room and for an extra $500, I want your oldest, fattest, meanest, boring in bed woman and a bologna sandwich.
The receptionist looks at him confused and says for that price we could get you our youngest, kindest, skinniest, kinkiest girl and a steak dinner with all the trimmings.
The man replys ma'am you don't understand me...I'm homesick.

A man walks into a bar

A man walks into a bar, and asks:
-who owns the big dobermann outside.
-I own that dog, the meanest and ugliest of the bikers say.
-I am truly sorry, but it appears that my little Chihuahua has killed it.
-"What? How is that possible?" The biker says.
-Well, your dog got mine stuck in its t**....

The funniest but meanest thing I heard a parent say to his kid on her birthday.

Forget about the past, you can't change it.
Forget about the future, you can't predict it.
Forget about the present, I didn't get you one.

Pedro was riding his donkey back into town one day...

When out from behind a rock jumps Black Pete, the meanest bandito in all of Mexico.
Black Pete pulls out his gun and says 'Hey Pedro, if you want to live to see another day, then you better eat your sombrero'.
Poor Pedro has no choice but to eat his hat, and Black Pete just stands there laughing and laughing. Suddenly, Pedro grabs the gun off Black Pete and says 'Now my friend it is you who must eat his sombrero if he wants to live to see another day!'.
Well Black Pete has no choice and reluctantly eats his hat. Pedro laughs and laughs, then hops back on his donkey and finishes his ride back into town.
When he arrives he sees Black Pete's wife, who asks him if he's seen Black Pete recently. He says to her 'Si, si señorita, I have, we just had lunch together.'

There was once a professional French soccer team whose players were all ducks

Named Le Tariat, they were so good that all other teams were amateur by comparison. This led to a lot of resentment, and the other teams all shunned them. While most simply ignored them, a few were very mean about it.
Le Tariat hatched a plan to kidnap the meanest of the players who were shunning them. In the middle of the night they did exactly that. They were caught though, and ended up going to prison where, being much smaller than the human inmates, they had a very bad time.
So in the end, seizing the meanies of pro duck shun didn't make the pro Le Tariat any happier.

Meanest joke, Who is the meanest principal