The Best 35 Mean Women Jokes

Following is our collection of funny Mean Women jokes. There are some mean women jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.

Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these mean women puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Top 10 of the Funniest Mean Women Jokes and Puns

Statistics say that 60% of women take medication for mental illness,

Which means 40% aren't taking their medication.

A cowboy takes a break from the range and heads out to LA for a cowboy convention . . .

When he gets to LA, he decides to stop at a local watering hole and grab a beer. He's sitting there in his hat, jeans, and boots, when a woman walks up and sits down beside him.

Woman: Are you a cowboy?

Cowboy: Well yes ma'am, I am.

Woman: Like a real deal cowboy?

Cowboy: I don't know any other kind.

Woman: I've never met a real cowboy before.

Cowboy: Well now you have.

Woman: Well?

Cowboy: Well what?

Woman: Aren't you going to ask what I am?

Cowboy: Well, uh, what are you?

Woman: I'm a lesbian.

Cowboy: A lesb- . . . I don't believe I know what that is.

Woman: It means that I like women. I like to kiss them and touch them and make love to them.

Cowboy: . . . .

The woman gets up and leaves and another woman comes into the bar. She spots the cowboy sitting there with his beer and takes a seat beside him.

Woman: Are you a cowboy?

Cowboy: Well ma'am, I thought I was, but I just found out I'm a lesbian.

harharhar.

Found this one on Wikipedia of all places

Two young women are drinking tea together. Suddenly, the doorbell rings. One of the women opens the door and finds a courier with a big great bouquet of roses. She walks inside and reads to her friend: *"Much love from your boyfriend!"* She immediately groans out: *"You know what this'll mean? This'll mean I'll be lying on my back with my legs spread wide open for the next two weeks!"* To which her friend says, *"Don't you have a vase?"*

I read that 1 in 5 women suffer from mental illness

so I guess that means the other 4 must enjoy it.

This is a frightening statistic

25% of the women in this country are on medication for mental illness!
That's scary!
It means 75% are running around untreated!


25% of all adult women are currently on medication for mental illness which is quite scary....

Because that means 75% are running around untreated.

What's the difference between men and women when watching video?

The phrase I went through a whole box of tissues watching that film. usually has a completely different meaning.

A feminist and a linguist walk into a bar

They sit down and begin a conversation.

The linguist asks, "Do you have any siblings?"

The feminist replies, "Yes, I have a sister. I'm very close with she."

The linguist, confused, tries to correct her. "Don't you mean 'with her'?"

The feminist is outraged and screams, "Stop objectifying women!"

A guy wanks into a bar.

He sees two stunningly beautiful blondes and says,

"Hey, barman, two beers for the ladies."

One of the ladies turns to the guy and asks.

"I think you're wasting your time, sir. We're lesbians."

"What's that?" asks the guy.

"It means we only like to have sex with women" the girl responds.

To which the guy retorts: "Hey barman, three beers for us lesbians."

Frightening Statistic

This is probably one of the most worrisome statistics to emerge in recent years.

25% of the women in this country are on medication for mental illness.

That's scary.

It means 75% are running around untreated.

Father, what causes arthritis?

A drunk that smelled like a brewery got on a bus one day. He sat down next to a priest. The drunk's shirt was stained, his face was full of bright red lipstick and he had a half-empty bottle of wine sticking out of his pocket. He opened his newspaper and started reading. A couple minutes later, he asked the priest, ''Father, what causes arthritis?''
''Mister, it's caused by loose living, being with cheap, wicked women, too much alcohol, and contempt for your fellow man,'' the priest replied. ''Imagine that,'' the drunk muttered. He returned to reading his paper.

The priest, thinking about what he had said, turned to the man and apologized: ''I'm sorry, I didn't mean to come on so strong. How long have you had arthritis?'' ''I don't have arthritis, Father,'' the drunk said, ''but I just read in the paper that the Pope does.''

You can explore mean women reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean mean women dad jokes. There are also mean women puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.


Sven and Ole joke (do your best Swedish accent when reading their lines)

Sven and Ole both lost their jobs when the clothing manufacturer they worked at closed. At the unemployment office, Sven was asked what position he held at the factory, he replied Ya, well I sew women's underpants. He was told to go to the next line to claim his unemployment check.

Ole was asked the same question, to which he replied Diesel fitter. He too was told to go to the next line to get his unemployment check.

After Sven and Ole collected their checks, they compared them outside. Ole's check was twice as much, which made Sven furious. He stormed back inside and asked to talk with a manager. He demanded to know why his check was half of what Ole's was. The manager told him, Well, you were a tailor, your friend Ole has a specialty in engine repair.

Sven's anger was boiling over. He loudly told them, WHAT DO YOU MEAN? I sew the underpants and put them in a pile, Ole holds them up and says Ya, diesel fitter. What has that got to do with engines?

Women should not have children after 35.

I mean, 35 children are more than enough.

I can't believe all of those women voted yes to pass Kavanaugh out of the Judiciary committee.

Well, I mean they voted no, but to Republicans that means yes.

A son runs to his dad screaming: "Dad, I think I'm gay!"

The dad says: "And why's that?"

The child replies: "I think that Justin Bieber is kinda hot..."

The dad then says: "That doesn't mean you're gay, you just have a really bad taste in women!"

Women are always complaining that I make too many 'dick' jokes but I don't understand why.

I mean, that's the only part of me guaranteed to make them laugh.

Three blonde women are talking about their pregnancies

The first one says: "Whenever we have sex, my husband is always on top. So that means I'm having a baby boy."

The second one says: "That means I'm having a baby girl because I'm always the one on top."

Suddenly the third blonde starts crying hysterically and exclaims: "I'm having puppies!"

A brunette gets a bouquet of flowers for valentines day.

The other office women are admiring the flowers as they are delivered to her.

She then smirks and says to the crowd of women gathered around "I guess this means I will be spending the night with my legs in the air."

The blonde then says "Don't you have a vase?"

Three pregnant women, a blonde, brunette, and red head are at their obstetrician to find out the sex of their babies.

The brunette says, "I'm going to have a boy because I was on top."

The red head says, "Well that means I'm going to have a girl because I was on bottom."

Just then the blonde starts crying her eyes out. "What's wrong?" the other two say.

"I'm going to have puppies!"


People are giving Hillary too much flak for fainting

I mean come on, it was 92 degrees out there, how can you expect an older women to withstand 102 degree heat. I'd like to see you give a speech in 112 degree heat and see if you can make it as far as her.

I saw an alarming stat the other day. Apparently 25% of women are taking medication for some sort of mental illness . . .

That means that 75% of women are walking around unmedicated!

Bookstores are a great place to meet women...

... But not so if your opening line is "What does this word mean?"

One of the main differences between men and women

Is the meaning of the phrase, "I used an entire box of tissues watching that movie."

i don't think women should stay in the kitchen...

i mean, how are they supposed to clean the rest of the house from there?

I bet Ivanka Trump actually turned down a position in President Trump's cabinet

I mean how many women would feel comfortable working for a man who said they would screw their daughter.

All these what?

Whenever a Jamaican women talks about "all these terrible shootings"

I'm never sure if they mean gun violence, or footwear accessories.

The difference between men and women is that men insult each other but don't really mean it

and women compliment each other but don't really mean it.

Women should not have children after 35.

I mean really, 35 children is already a lot!

I'm not sure how I feel about Pro Choice.

I mean, I am all for dead babies, but I don't like giving women choices...

I'm not sure about abortion....

I mean I'm all for killing babies, but giving women a choice worries me.

Statistics say that 30% of women are on medication for some sort of mental issue...

That means there are 70% running around out there unmedicated...

Some women can be so shallow.

I mean everything was going great at our first dinner date until I told her what kind of car I lived in.

Two Amish women are in the field picking potatoes...

The first Amish woman (FAW) pulls out an enormous potato from the field and says to the second (SAW), "Ohhh, this reminds me of Jacob's privates!"

SAW - "You mean Jacob's privates are that big?"

FAW - "No, but they're just as dirty!"

Ancient Greek name translation

I have been doing some research into the meaning of my name.

I was delighted to find that in Ancient Greek my second name translates to 'Attractive to women'.

Unfortunately my first name translates to 'Not very'.

An English speaking man is dating a Spanish speaking women

He makes sure to tell her "mucho" every day. It means a lot to her.

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the mean women jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working mean women piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

Joko Jokes