Mean Grandma Jokes
7 mean grandma jokes and hilarious mean grandma puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about mean grandma that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Rib-Tickling Mean Grandma Jokes that Bring Friends Together
What is a good mean grandma joke to make people laugh? Check out this list of funny stories that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth.
What did grandma and grandpa do before there was Internet?
I mean, didn't they get bored?
I asked my 32 uncles and aunts, but they didn't know either.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A young man decided it was time to come out to his family.
He was worried most about his grandmother, so he approached her in the kitchen.
"Grandma, I, uh, have to tell you something."
"Yes, sweety?"
"I, uh, I'm gay."
"Gay?" His heart stopped. "Does that mean you put men's things in your mouth?"
"Grandma!!!!"
"Well??"
Mortified, he muttered sheepishly, "I, uh, yeah?"
Whack! The wooden spoon found its mark. "Don't you EVER," she sternly replied, "complain about my cooking again."
Grandma saw on TV news that a car is driving against the traffic on the highway.
Remembering that grandpa is coming back home from the city on the same highway, she called him to warn him.
"Honey be careful driving, apparently there is a person driving in the wrong direction on the road."
"What do you mean a person?" Grandpa yelled, "Everyone is driving insanely today!"
Grandma started obsessively washing her windows several times each week...
...I asked her what's up with that, I mean - they're sparkling clean already, you don't have to do that.
She replied:
Someone called me last week and told me that my windows installation had a serious virus infestation.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Now that w**... is legal in Canada...
There is a whole new meaning to Grandma's chicken p**... pie.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
I asked my grandma what people use to think of democrats and republicans over 70 years ago
*Watching the news with my grandma*
Me: Grammy, when you were really young, did they talk about democrats and republicans, like they do today?
Grandma: What do you mean?
Me: Were they always hostile towards one another, like this lady on the news.
Grandma: Oh yeah, that's one thing that has never changed over the years.
Me: Well, what do you remember people saying about democrats and republicans when you were young.
Me: What is the first thing you remember about it?
Grandma: Well, I always heard the older people say the same thing
Grandma: "Republicans are for the rich, and democrats are for the poor."
Me: What did they say about everyone in the middle?
Grandma: I don't know, they always just talked about getting s**....
One day, Little Johnny's grandmother sent him to the water hole to get some water for cooking dinner.
As he was dipping the bucket in, he saw two big eyes looking back at him.
He dropped the bucket and ran back to grandma's house as fast as he could.
"Where's my bucket and my water?" She asked.
"I can't get any water from that water hole, there's a mean ol' alligator down there!"
"Now don't you mind that ol' alligator, Johnny.
He's been there for years, and he's never hurt no one.
Why, he's probably as scared of you as you are of him!"
"Well, Grandma," replied Johnny, "if he's as scared of me as I am of him, then that water ain't fit to drink!"
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