Mean Girl Jokes
111 mean girl jokes and hilarious mean girl puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about mean girl that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Quick Jump To
Funniest Mean Girl Short Jokes
Short mean girl jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The mean girl humour may include short material girl jokes also.
- A statistician walks up to a girl in the bar Guy: You're the most average girl out here.
Girl: Hey, you're mean!
Guy: No, you are. - A guy walks into a bar and sees a girl Guy: You're the most average girl here
Girl: You're so mean
Guy: No, you are - Girl told me she had a dream that I made love to her I mean, technically, she didn't say "dream," she said "nightmare," but close enough.
- Guys talk to each other by putting each other down, but they don't really mean it. Girls talk to each other by putting each other up... but they don't really mean that either.
- A guy was on a boring date with a girl, so he said You're the most average girl here . She said You're mean He said No you are
- Today a girl stopped me on the sidewalk and says, "On a scale of 1 to 10, how pretty do you think I am?" "I'd say you're about the average but I don't want to make this a mean joke."
- What does it mean when you have wheels and a country girl wants you? It means you *a tractor*
- My daughter said she's struggling with a mean girl at school I advised her to tell her that she's average.
- Can we make mean jokes in this sub? Guy: You're average.
Girl: You're mean!
Guy: No, you are! - A girl just texted me "myspacebuttonbrokecananyonegivemeanalternative" Does anybody know what "ternative" means?
Share These Mean Girl Jokes With Friends
Mean Girl One Liners
Which mean girl one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with mean girl? I can suggest the ones about bad girl and mean woman.
- I told this girl, "you're very average." She said, "that's mean."
- Never date a girl that plays tennis They may be athletic, but love means nothing to them.
- I've suffered from identity crisis since I was a little boy. I mean girl.
- if a girl is being nice to you it doesn't mean she is flirting She might be a Canadian
- When they say a girl is dynamite In Pakistan, they mean it.
- This girl just told me I was average in bed. Guess that makes both of us mean.
- You shouldn't rate a girl 5.5/10 That's just mean
- Hey girl, you're above average Don't be mean.
- I never learn the true meaning of NTR until recently. 'Nothing to report.' Said the girl.
- If you enjoyed the film Mean Girls... You'd love Standard Deviation Girls!
- Have I told you guys about this girl Noelle? She means the word to me
- My World. My girl means world to me and my world is flat af!
- How many Mean Girls does it take to screw in a lightbulb? The limit does not exist.
- When a girl says "no", it either means that she really doesn't want you or Kava-No.
- Communist Pick Up Line Hey Girl, Can I seize your means of reproduction?
Rib-Tickling Mean Girl Jokes that Bring Friends Together
What funny jokes about mean girl you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean school girl jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make mean girl pranks.
At a Whitehouse party for past presidents.
Michelle Obama caught Barron Trump making faces at Sasha.
Michelle walked over to reprimand the child and said, "Barron, when I was a little girl, I was told if that I made ugly faces, it would freeze and I would stay like that."
Baron looked up and replied, "Well, Ms. Obama, you can't say you weren't warned."
I was drinking my coffee in a coffeehouse when a beautiful girl came near my table and asked me:
"Are you alone?"
So I responded: "It's a long time that I'm alone."
"So do you mind me to take this chair?" said the girl.
I fainted...
Guy: Wanna go out? Girl: I have a boyfriend. Guy: It's just like soccer, just because theres a goalie doesnt mean you cant score.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
I don't mean to be forward girl but do you s**...? Ok Cool. s**... these 7 balloons of h**... and get on this flight to Los Angeles
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A little girl knocks on my door and said Brick or Breat. I said what are you dressed up as? She said a Birate.
A birate you mean a pirate She said ya a birate. I asked if you are a pirate were are your buccaneers you know your band of cut t**...'s and theaves, were are your buccaneers? she said under my bucking hat give me the bucking candy
A Japanese and American businessman are closing a deal.....
The American was new in Japan and did not know the customs or language. He was a quick learner though and after weeks of negotiations, he sealed the deal.
The Japanese man says, "ask for anything to make your last couple of days more enjoyable.". The American says, well I'd love a beautiful Japanese woman if you know what I mean. The Japanese businessman fulfilled his promise and that night he had a japenese beauty in his bed. They start at it and the girl start shouting " mosuki mosuki". He goes harder and she yells in passion, " mosuki mosuki". The business man start thinking, that must mean good job or great. They part ways and he wakes up next morning to play golf with the business man. On the first green as the Japanese man is about to sink his pity he American thinks to impress him with his Japanese vocbulary. As he sinks the putt he says, "mosuki" the Japanese business man looks at him puzzled and asks. " what do you mean wrong hole?"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
What happens when a mean girl dies?
They write an o-b**...-uary
Meanie-Pie Girl
I was working on a large amount of math homework in a group today, and one of the female participants was being prissy and in general a nuisance. So I patted her on the head. She says, 'Did you just pat me on the head?' So I say, "Yes, you were being mean so I was de-meaning you."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
I went to an all girls high school...
Teachers used to have these talks about how we should never let a guy pay the bill when we're on dates, or else we'll feel the need to reciprocate with s**... favours. Now I, for one, think that this is a terrible deal. I mean, come on; dinners are expensive!
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
An Englishman went on a business trip to Japan...
When he got there, he stayed in a nice hotel and decided to call a prostitution service. Not knowing a single word of Japanese, it was he struggled with the ordering process.
When the girl finally arrived, they stripped down and get down to business... They were having a blast and the girl kept screaming **"Machigatta ana, Machigatta ana..!!"** Deciding that it was a sign that the girl was pleasantly satisfied, he thought nothing of it and continued all night long.
The next morning, the Englishman went and have a round of golf with his Japanese business partner. His business partner swung first.... **BAM!** **Hole in one!**
"Nice shot my friend, machigatta ana..." said the Englishman
Looking puzzled, his business partner replied
"That shot was perfect... but what do you mean 'wrong hole'?"
A girl calls a psychic saying:
*"I dreamed that I had one leg in Spain & the other in Germany. What does that mean?"*
Psychic: *"That you gonna pee on France"*
--------
^Français, ^je ^vous ^aime
^
I never got why nice guys don't get all the girls...
I mean they do finish last, I thought girls liked that.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Facebook should make a bigger deal over privacy, certainly as far as photos are concerned.
I managed to find a really attractive girl I'd seen before, and without adding her, I could see all her photos, including some in a bikini.
I mean, she's lucky it's only me w**... and not some pervert.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Am I pretty?
Girl: Hey babe, do you think I am pretty or do you think I am ugly?
Guy: I think you're both...
Girl: What's that supposed to mean?
Guy: I think you're pretty ugly
I think I may have met my new bestest friend!
While driving home, I eventually reached a red light. When I turned around, a cute foreign looking girl tried to communicate with me by writing me a note, and I think we really clicked. I think we are destined to meet again one day. By the way, does anybody know what "Help" means in foreign?
FAIR EXCHANGE
Two couples go on vacation together. After a week, they are thoroughly bored.
The men decide that maybe life will take on new meaning if they change partners. They all agree that it's an experiment worth trying.
The morning after the switch, one of the husbands says, ''I'm glad we tried this. It was exhilarating. Come on, let's go in the other room and see how the girls got on.''
A Doctor and engineer
A doctor and an engineer loved the same girl.
Doctor used to give her a rose daily
and engineer used to give the girl an apple.
Girl got confused and asked engineer : There is a meaning of giving rose in Love,
Why are you giving apple ?
Engineer answered : Because
"An apple a day keeps the doctor away".
Advice for guys
When a girl says you that you're going to far, she actually means you are coming to close.
If I had a penny for each time I had to handle a mean drunk girl in college
I would've dropped the penny.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Classroom Nerd
(In a high school class room)
Girl: Do you see that F@#$ING nerd over there.
Teacher: Don't be so mean, he could be your boss one day.
Nerd: Sorry I don't plan on being a p**...
Hey girl, are you a Marxist revolutionary?
Cos I'd like you to seize control of my means of production.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A Koala walks into a bar...
So he sits down and after a while of chatting with the barkeep he starts to notice a girl eyeing him from across the bar. So he goes and talks to her and after some flirting they decide to go upstairs
So they go upstairs and get into the 69 position and when its all said and done the koala goes to leave, but the girl says "Hey, where's my money?" Appalled he says "What do you mean?" She replies by telling him to look up the definition of p**... in the dictionary. He does so and it reads 'One who does s**... acts for money.' He then tells her to look up the definition of koala in the dictionary. She does this and it reads "small, tree dwelling marsupial that eats bush and leaves."
Boys have truly evolved
* Boy: sapnu puas
* Girl: What does that mean?
* Boy: Turn your phone 180 degrees ;).
Why are samoan's offended by the Samoa Girl Scout Cookie?
I mean it's not like white people care about crackers being called crackers.
I took the girl from my maths class on a date
We met for a few drinks at the bar on campus. After a while I took a look around the room.
"Wow, you're the most average girl in here."
"What?! You're mean!" She screamed.
"No, you are."
In highschool I used to be girl crazy...
And by girl crazy I don't mean I was obsessed with girls...I mean I was irrational and never used logic.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Words that start with "S" s**....
Girl: Tom, I've come to realize something about the letter s.
Boy: Tell me.
Girl: Words that start with s s**....
Boy: What do you mean?
Girl: Well, snakes s**.... So does a sting, and so does getting stabbed.
Boy: Well, Sally, if thats the case I'd like to have you over tonight for dinner.
As the father of a now high school graduate, I think it's time I stopped fantasizing about "college girls."
I mean, no need to dream when you've got the real thing at home, right?
Body Pain
A brunette goes to the doctor, and says, Doctor I'm hurting all over my body.
That's odd , replied the doctor, Show me what you mean
So the girl takes her finger and pokes her elbow, and screams in pain. She touches her knee and cries in agony and so on.
The doctor says, You're not a natural brunette are you?
No I'm a blonde , she replies.
I thought so…. your finger is broken. , replies the doctor.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Girl, are you a tennis player?
Cause your love means nothing to me.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A communist girl thought I was cute.
Next thing I know she seized my means of reproduction!
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
s**...! s**...! s**...! Free s**... tonight!
I asked a Chinese girl for her number. She said, "s**...! s**...! s**...! Free s**... tonight!" I said, "Wow!" Then her friend said, "She means 6**...-3629."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
I walked up to a girl in a bar and told her "you're the most average girl in here"
Her: well you're very mean
Me: No you
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Roy Moore says he'll bring Alabama values to Washington, but I'm not so sure. I mean, he s**... assaulted teenage girls...
But he wasn't related to any of 'em!
A statistician walks into a bar
and ranks all the girls based on their looks. He approaches one of them and says,
"I just surveyed all the women in here and you're the most average one here.
"Wow, you're mean!"
"No, you are!"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
I was on a date and my girl asked me to tell her something sweet.
I said "Candy."
She said "No, I mean, something I'd like."
"Shoes."
"Noooo, something s**...."
"Your sister."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A guy wanks into a bar.
He sees two stunningly beautiful blondes and says,
"Hey, barman, two beers for the ladies."
One of the ladies turns to the guy and asks.
"I think you're wasting your time, sir. We're l**...."
"What's that?" asks the guy.
"It means we only like to have s**... with women" the girl responds.
To which the guy retorts: "Hey barman, three beers for us l**...."
One from my chess teacher
"When a girl tells you you're going too far... she actually means you're coming too close."
A blind man asked a young girl what 'milk' is...
The young girl replied, Why, milk is a white drink.
Now I know what a drink is, the blind man responded, but what is white?
Oh, white is the colour of a swan's feathers.
Feathers... I know what they are, but what is a swan?
A swan is a bird with a crooked neck.
I know what a neck is, but what do you mean by crooked?
The girl realised the discussion could go on for a while, so instead she guided the blind man's arm, straightened it, and said There, now your arm is straight. She then bent the arm at the elbow, and said, And now, your arm is crooked, like a swan's neck.
The blind man happily exclaimed Thank Christ! Now I know what milk is!
Mother and Daughter
Mother: "Did you enjoy your first day at school?"
Girl: "First day? Do you mean I have to go back tomorrow?
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
My girl and I got into a romantic spat
I mean, really got into it. Never thought spitting on one another would rejuvenate our s**... life.
If a girl says 'Can I tell you something but don't tell anyone?' it means you're the only one who doesn't know about it
and it's probably about you.
I'm looking for a girl who loves Leap Day
Cuz that means she appreciates things which only come once every four years
A pickup line( sorry if those aren't supposed to go here)
After you ask out the girl..
Girl: I have a boyfriend
You: and I have a math test
Girl: what do you mean?
You: I thought we were talking about things we would cheat on
An American is talking to a girl in Paris
She says her name is Belle.
"That's a pretty name"
"Thanks. It means 'beautiful'. What does 'Nick' mean?"
"Oh, I don't know. It's just something my dad came up with while shaving."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
I thought I blew my chance to be happy with the girl of my dreams, the moment I said,
"Just because I'm your brother, doesn't mean I can't give it to you rough!"
I was a bit surprised that my wife just assumed that I am alright with circumcising our child
I mean we don't even know for sure that it will be a girl...
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
What do you call an article full of mean dead girls
Ab o-b**...-uary
Boy from the Eminem video just lose it what are you up to.
Oops I mean girl. Girl, girl. Girl. Girl
What does this joke mean?
A friend of mine said this to a girl: Lucky the drunk because he gets to see you twice .
To the girl that just dumped me
Just because I can speak sign language doesn't mean I'm able to read your signs
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
This girl told me her boyfriend treated her like dirt.
Does that mean he plowed you and planted his seed in you?
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Dave and his girlfriend check into the hotel room.
As soon as they walk in, the girl immediately jumps up on the bed and lays in a spread eagle.
She asks - Dave, do you know what it means?
Dave - yeah, that you wanna sleep on this bed all by yourself.
A little girl came up to me today and said she was having a midlife crisis.
I chuckled and said "Don't be silly! How old are you?"
She said "6"
I laughed and said, "Then how are you going through a midlife crisis if you are only 6?"
She said "Well my mom is antivaxx, so I'm unvaccinated."
"Don't be ridiculous!" I said. "A midlife crisis means you're in the middle of your lifespan right now, while right now you'll probably be dead in a week."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
I met a g**... the train...
As we were talking she told me her name was Liv. I asked:"What a lovely name. Where does it come from?". She replied:"It's latin meaning fifty four."
Drunks
Drunk guy: "Here's hoping you're in Heaven ten minutes before
the devil knows you're dead!"
Drunk girl: "What's that mean?"
Drunk guy: "It's an Irish toast."
Drunk girl: "Oh. Well, here's to bread, eggs and cinnamon."
Drunk guy: "Huh?"
Drunk girl: "That's
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
I'm well known for making the girls scream in the bedroom...
I mean it's probably because they didn't know I was in there waiting for them
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
The t**... says "Give me money or I shoot the girl"
The family looks at each other and the boy says, "Does this mean I get her car?"
The mother says "I thought we weren't bringing work home, dear."
And the father shrugs and says, "He's doing this for free. I don't know the guy."
Then the t**... gives up and says, "this family is more messed up than me."
A girl just finished telling her problem to a dictionary, thesaurus and an atlas...
The dictionary replied, "I know what you mean"
The thesaurus said, "I feel the same way"
And the atlas said, "I can see where you're coming from"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
My uncle swore to me that if i wanted to attract girls, I mean REALLY draw in the chicks, I should roll up a sock and put it in my pants.
I did this at a high school dance, and I when I got home, he asked me if I tried it and did it work. I told him it did not help at all, and only made things worse. He looked down and said, Well you were supposed to put it in the FRONT!
A young man goes to a formal ball in Boston.
He parks his car, goes up to the venue, and he has a great time. He meets a young woman there, and the two of them hit it off.
I came here on the bus, she says, Would you mind giving me a ride home?
So obviously he says yes, and the two of them leave the venue together. When they get to his car, the man goes up and presses his leg against the car door, and the car immediately opens up!
The girl asks, Wow, how did you do that?
What do you mean? the man says, These are my khakis.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A guy falls in love with a very traditional and conservative girl...
…that means no s**... before marriage. But he does not care, he loves her. After a year of dating he decides its time to propose to her. So he heads to her father's house to ask for his blessing.
‟Hello, sir, I am here to ask for your daughter's hand
A bit skeptical and looking to see if he really does love her, the father asks ‟And why is that?
The guy lets out a long drawn out sigh… ‟Well, its just that mine have gotten tired.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
I was talking to a girl at a party
Me: You're the most average girl here
Her: You're mean
Me: Actually you are
Am I PRETTY or UGLY
Girl: (asking her boyfriend) Am I pretty or ugly.
Boy: you are both
Girl: What do you mean?
Boy: You are pretty ugly
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
If big hairy, grizzly gay guys are bears...
Does that mean we can call big grizzly gay girls Klondikes?
