Mean Christian Jokes
12 mean christian jokes and hilarious mean christian puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about mean christian that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Funniest Mean Christian Short Jokes
Short mean christian jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The mean christian humour may include short christian jokes also.
- At my school they have a Christian interest group called the crusaders This means a Muslim interest group would be called the jihadists
- I don't know why Christians are so hard on u**... teen mothers. I mean, Jesus turned out alright.
- My Christian friend got caught m**... to a hymn It gave a whole new meaning to 'O Come All Ye Faithful'
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Mean Christian One Liners
Which mean christian one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with mean christian? I can suggest the ones about christian dating and christian kids.
- Jesus can walk on water, but Chuck Norris can walk on Jesus.
Hilarious Mean Christian Jokes to Make Your Friends Roar with Laughter
What funny jokes about mean christian you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean christian bible jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make mean christian pranks.
An Atheist was in the woods and a bear came after him,
He got so scared, he looked up to heaven and yelled "OH MY GOD! Help me!"
And a voice from Heaven came down and asked, "Does that mean you want to be a Christian?"
The Atheist thinks a little bit and says, "No, make the bear a Christian."
The bear, almost ready to attack, then a miracle happened. The bear's paws came together in prayer form, looked up to Heaven and said, "Bless this food which I'm about to eat."
-Frank De Lima
A guy is record shopping at a local music store…
and goes up to the clerk and says I'm looking for that classic 90s Seattle grunge sound on vinyl if you carry it. Clerk says reluctantly, I'm sorry the only styles we carry are children's, Christian, classical, or folk. The man looks puzzled and becomes a tad irate. He responds back saying, You mean to tell me that the only categories you carry here are children's, Christian, classical, or folk? The cashier looks at the guy and says, Well yeah, there's no alternative.
Paraprosdokians
*A paraprosdokian is a figure of speech in which the latter part of a sentence or phrase is surprising or unexpected in a way that causes the reader or listener to reframe or reinterpret the first part. Some paraprosdokians not only change the meaning of an early phrase, but they also play on the double meaning of a particular word, creating a form of syllepsis.*
Where there's a will ... I want to be in it.
I like going to the park and watching the children run around ... because they don't know I'm using blanks. (Emo Philips)
The last thing I want to do is hurt you. But it's still on my list.
You can always count on the Americans to do the right thing ... after they have tried everything else. (Winston Churchill)
I didn't say it was your fault, I said I was blaming you.
In filling out an application, where it says, 'In case of emergency, Notify:' ... I put 'DOCTOR'.
If I am reading this graph correctly ... I'd be very surprised. (Stephen Colbert)
You do not need a parachute to skydive. You only need a parachute to skydive twice.
I don't belong to an organized political party. I'm a Democrat. (Will Rogers)
Going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more than standing in a garage makes you a car.
I've had a perfectly wonderful evening, but this wasn't it. (Groucho Marx)
You're never too old to learn ...something s**....
There were 3 people on a boat, Chuck Norris, Jesus, and the Penelope, Jesus said
"
I bet I can walk across the water."
He did, Chuck Norris tried, he did, the Penelope said
"They did it that means I do it." ,
He tried, he sank, Jesus said: "Should I have told him about the rocks?"
Chuck Norris said "What rocks?"
A Trump supporter dies and goes to the pearly gates…
There he sees St Peter and gets excited and walks towards the pearly gates.
St. Peter says, "I want you to know, on the whole you were a good person, that's why you're going in. But we almost had to send you to h**... because you voted for Trump."
"What do you mean? Trump is the best president ever and a devout Christian!"
St. Peter snorts and says, "He's nothing of the sort. He's vain, greedy, an adulterer, racist, and corrupt. As soon as he dies we're sending him straight to h**...."
The Trump supporter shakes his head, his eyes wide and mutters unhappily, "Oh my gosh. I didn't realize the deep state went this far!"
ISIS guy stopped the car of Christian couple.
ISIS guy stopped the car of Christian couple.
ISIS guy: Are you m**...?
Christian: Yes I am.
ISIS guy: Recite a verse from Quran.
Christian man recited a verse from Bible.
ISIS guys: Yallah-h**...-snackbar, you can go.
Later Christian guy's wife: I can't believe you took that risk. If he knew you recited a verse from Bible he would have killed us.
Christian guy: Don't worry, if he knew Quran he wouldn't be member of ISIS.
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EDIT :
**Dein Beitrag wurde vergoldet!**
What does that mean? Oh! Thanks for the gold ( not sure if I should reveal the user name, I always see people write thanks for the gold stranger )
A pastor uses the church's restroom before morning service begins.
As he's finishing up in the stall, he hears fast breathing and grunting in the stall next to him, and realizes that whoever's in there is m**.... He exits his stall and washes his hands, then he hears the toilet flush and the culprit steps out of his stall. It's Jim, an 11 year old boy.
The pastor sighs and pulls Jim aside after he's finished washing his hands. "Jim," he says, "I don't mean to embarrass you but I think it's my job to tell you that good Christian boys save it for marriage. Do you understand what I mean?"
Jim blushes but nods, "Yes."
A few weeks later the pastor sees Jim walking down the hall and he pulls him aside again. "So, Jim, have you been working on what we talked about last time?"
Jim beams, "Yes, sir! I've saved up almost a quart!"