Mean Chinese Jokes
22 mean chinese jokes and hilarious mean chinese puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about mean chinese that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Funniest Mean Chinese Short Jokes
Short mean chinese jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The mean chinese humour may include short bad chinese jokes also.
- My Chinese neighbour said he's just opened a crows shop. Speaking slowly, I said "you mean a *clothes* shop?"
He says, "No, a crows shop - come in and have a rook." - The Chinese have the best Democracy in the World They have tiny elections every few hours.
;) if you know what I mean - Apparently 1 in 7 people in the world are Chinese. That means it's either me, my mum, dad, brother Steve, brother Craig, sister hanna, or brother huangxi.
I suspect Craig. - Chinese man: Do you like cats? Me: No.
Chinese man: That means you haven`t cooked them properly.
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Mean Chinese One Liners
Which mean chinese one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with mean chinese? I can suggest the ones about mean asian and chinese people.
- What chinese name means 'wolf'? Hau Ling.
Hilarious Mean Chinese Jokes for a Fun-Filled Night with Friends
What funny jokes about mean chinese you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean chinese asian jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make mean chinese pranks.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
s**...! s**...! s**...! Free s**... tonight!
I asked a Chinese girl for her number. She said, "s**...! s**...! s**...! Free s**... tonight!" I said, "Wow!" Then her friend said, "She means 6**...-3629."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
I don't get why Japanese people and South Korean people just can't get along.
I mean, they're all Chinese.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A Chinese doctor has a Jewish patient.
"Listen," says the patient, "I didn't think we were going to get along so good together."
"What do you mean?"
"What do I mean! Pearl Harbor, that's what I mean!"
"What are you talking about, Pearl Harbor? I'm Chinese!"
"Yeah, well...Chinese, Japanese, it's all the same thing."
"What do you mean, all the same thing? The Jews sunk the Titanic!"
"The Jews sunk the Titanic?"
"Sure. Greenberg, Goldberg, Iceburg, all the same to me!"
Trump receives a message
Last week Trump received a coded message, reportedly from Chinese Hackers.
It read: 370HSSV-0773H
Trump was stumped and asked Pence what the message could mean. Pence was totally stumped too, so they passed it to the top American programmers, who spent 2 days trying to decipher it. Knackered, the programmers sent it to the FBI.
The Director of the FBI suggested Trump should turn the message upside down.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A man went to China.
He hired a p**... to keep him company during the night, and when things got serious, she kept shouting a word in Chinese.
The next day, the man went to a golf course with a couple of business associates. They had a good afternoon until a person hit a hole in one. Everyone started shouting in excitement, and the man decided to join in, shouting the word he hears last night, thinking it was that of excitement.
Everyone turned to the man in silence. After a full minute of awkward silence, the one who made the shot asked "What do you mean, wrong hole?"
The UN recently published the results of a poll. The topic was: "Please truthfully give your opinion on food shortage in the rest of the world."
Results:
Europeans requested explanation of the term "shortage".
Africans asked what "food" is.
Chinese inquired about the term "opinion".
Americans wondered what "rest of the world" might possibly mean.
And in Italy they are still discussing the meaning of the term "truthfully".
A New York Times reporter is interviewing some people
The first question asked is "What is your honest opinion about the shortage of meat in the world?"
The interview was a huge failure...
The African asks "What does meat mean?".
The American asks "What does shortage mean?".
The Chinese person asks "What does opinion mean?".
The Russian asks "What does honest mean?"
The North Korean just waits. The reporter asks again, and is told "The Interview is no good!"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
This joke about Covid circulating around Chinese web boards...
If someone walking ahead of you farts and you can can hear it, that means you're not practicing correct social distancing.
If you can smell it, that means you're not wearing your mask properly.
If you are wearing your mask properly and can still smell it, then congratulations, you don't have covid-19.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
I don't know how the Chinese fell for Mao and the communist party
I mean, there were a freakin ton of red flags.
My Chinese friend got really sick one day
I went to the hospital to see how he's doin, but he just kept whispering Yang qi guan! Yang qi guan! Yang qi guan!" over and over – and then died.
I was very sad and a few days later I googled his last message after the burial. Apparently, it means You're standing on my oxygen tube.
Me: *arriving at the office after lunch in a nice red dress.*
My boss: Why are you dressed as a woman?!
Me: What do you mean? You asked me if i could join the meeting with the Chinese as a trans later?
Kim Jong Un went to get his palm read.
"Ah", said the mystic. "One year from now I see great glory in your future.
Two years from now I see even greater glory.
Three years from now the glory is joined by love.
However I must warn you that past that I can read nothing of your future."
At this the dictator gets a bit panicked. " Do you mean to tell me that my enemies seek to kill me and will destroy glorious Korea in 4 years time?"
" No, no", assures the fortune teller. "Your existence and that of Korea continues beyond the next three years, I just can't read any of it because I can't read Chinese."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Chung Hoi
A famous American golfer is invited to go to China for a golfing tournament.
From the second he gets there, he is treated like a king.
He is given five-star treatment in a five-star hotel until the day of the tournament.
The night before the tournament, he is sitting in his hotel room watching TV.
A hot Asian girl walks up to his room and he says, "Wow. They must really love me here."
He begins to have s**... with her the whole night. She continues to scream, "Chung Hoi! Chung Hoi!," but he ignores it.
At the tournament, the American golfer gets a hole-in-one and gets really excited.
He starts yelling, "Chung Hoi! Chung Hoi!"
One of the Chinese golfers says, "What do you mean 'WRONG HOLE'?"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Why is everyone picking on Jews?
A comedian was going into his favourite joke, "One day, Moskowitz and Finkelstein were going to..." when a heckler from the audience interrupted.
"Moskowitz and Finkelstein! why does it always have to be two Jews? Can't you tell a joke with any other nationalities involved!? Why don't you make them Chinese for a change?"
The comedian rejoined, "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to offend. How about this: One day, Lee h**... and Mao Chen were on their way to the synagogue to attend the bar mitzvah of Lee h**...'s nephew..."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Olympics / opening ceremony jokes
Credit where credit's due - I got these from Sickipedia. I'm brand new here but I gather these would be appreciated...
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I certainly enjoyed the opening ceremony which displayed the history of the early 20th century Britain.
I can't wait until the games are held in Germany.
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So in the Olympic Opening Ceremony, British athletes can walk behind a bloke carrying the Union Jack and everyone cheers...
...But when the BNP do it it's frowned upon.
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My mate asked me: "What is the shortest race in the Olympics?"
After thinking for a few minutes, I came up with an answer:
"Chinese," I replied.
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I'm entering the m**... Tournament in the Olympics this year.
Very stiff competition though.
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As I watched the woman's football today, my wife proudly quipped, "This just shows you how far the Olympics have come, women excelling at men's sports. What do you think this means?"
I don't think "22 blokes are forced to get a take-away tonight" was the answer she was looking for.
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Well done Danny Boyle. Nothing says "London" better than youths setting fire to stuff.
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7 years the London Olympics have been in the making.
Never has it taken so long for a large number of foreigners to enter the country.
A Chinese man goes into a bank ...
... to exchange some Chinese yuan for American dollars. The teller finishes counting the man's currency, looks up that day's exchange rate, computes the conversion and quickly counts out the American currency in twenties, "…140, 160 and" plunking down the last bill, "makes $180. Will that be all today, sir?"
The Chinese man glares suspiciously at the teller, "Hey, how come I come he'a last week wit' same amount yuan, you give me 200 dollah; I come he'a today, you only give me 180 dollah?"
The teller politely goes into the short version of how currency exchanges work and recent changes in the market.
Being mostly satisfied but still a little skeptical the Chinese man asks, "What you mean by 'changes'?"
The teller says, "I'm sorry, I should've said 'fluctuations'."
The Chinese man yells back, "*Fluctuations*? Hey, FLUCK YOU WHITE GUYS TOO!"
