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Mean Cat Jokes

21 mean cat jokes and hilarious mean cat puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about mean cat that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

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Funniest Mean Cat Short Jokes

Short mean cat jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The mean cat humour may include short christmas cat jokes also.

  1. I have have developed cat-like reflexes. By which I mean an irresistible urge to curl up and nap on any freshly made bed.
  2. Did you hear the one about the guy with 40 cats and a boa constrictor? Sorry, I mean 39 cats and a boa constrictor.
  3. So if cats have papillae on their tongues to rip skin... ...Then does that mean my cat wants to eat me when he licks me?
  4. Chinese man: Do you like cats? Me: No.
    Chinese man: That means you haven`t cooked them properly.
  5. I think my cat is using me for my money I mean the s**... is great, but I just don't feel an emotional connection.
  6. Trolling bf Name cat Pilli (meaning p**...' in albanian). Tell boyfriend the name of the cat but not what it means.
    Invite him over for dinner to meet the parents. Tell him to call for the cat.

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Mean Cat One Liners

Which mean cat one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with mean cat? I can suggest the ones about bad cat and cat human.

  1. KFC in Asia?
    Korean fried cat.
  2. What does Arigato mean? A Mexican cat named Ari.
    (My dad is very proud of this one)
  3. 8th cat means 8 dead cats to clean up
  4. Cats are communists. I mean, really, why else would they go around saying "Mao Mao Mao?"
  5. Cats have 9 lives... But why not 10? I mean 9 is such an odd number.

Hilarious Mean Cat Jokes for a Fun-Filled Night with Friends

What funny jokes about mean cat you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean fat cat jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make mean cat pranks.

A Dachshund and a Labrador are walking together when the former suddenly unloads on his friend.

My life is a mess, he says. My owner is mean, my girlfriend ran away with a Pomeranian and I'm as jittery as a cat.
Why don't you go see a psychiatrist? suggests the Labrador.
* I can't. I'm not allowed on the couch. *

My daughter came up to me and said

My daughter came up to me and said "daddy when my cat died why were its legs in the air?" I replied "well that's so Jesus can grab it to take it to heaven." "That means mummy nearly died this morning!" She said, I asked "how?"
"well when I looked in her bedroom she was screaming "Jesus I'm coming!" And if it wasn't for the postman holding her down he would have got her."

Hilarious Joke

A poodle and a collie are walking together when the poodle suddenly unloads on his friend. My life is a mess, he says. My owner is mean, my girlfriend ran away with a schnauzer, and I'm as jittery as a cat.
Why don't you go see a psychiatrist? suggests the collie.
I can't, says the poodle. I'm not allowed on the couch.

A beautiful blonde strode angrily into the large store,

A beautiful blonde strode angrily into the large store and slapped a package on the counter, and loudly expressed her dissatisfaction.
The clerk asked, "What's the problem? Wouldn't your cat eat them?"
The woman's eyes got very large, and she whispered, "Do you mean to tell me that p**... Treats' are meant for 'cats'?"

A poodle and a collie are walking together

A poodle and a collie are walking together when the poodle suddenly unloads on his friend. My life is a mess, he says. My owner is mean, my girlfriend ran away with a schnauzer, and I'm as jittery as a cat.
Why don't you go see a psychiatrist? suggests the collie.
I can't, says the poodle. I'm not allowed on the couch.

Poodle: My life is a mess. My owner is mean, my girlfriend is leaving me for a German shepherd, and I'm as nervous as a cat. Collie: Why don't you go see a psychiatrist?

Poodle: I can't. I'm not allowed on the couch.