Following is our collection of Mayor jokes which are very funny. There are some mayor toronto jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud. Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these mayor candidates puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.
the Village Idiot doubles as the Mayor.
The day after Beethoven's funeral, at midnight, a drunken man, having just left the bar, went into the graveyard, where he heard a strange sound. Looking for the source of the mysterious sound, he discovered it was coming from Beethoven's grave. Alarmed, he called his friends, and found they could hear the sound too (even the sober ones).
Soon, a crowd was forming at the graveyard. The mayor, who was very familiar with classical music, recognized the sound as Beethoven's 9th Symphony played backwards. When it ended, Beethoven's 8th Symphony started playing, also backwards, and then the 7th, and then the 6th, and so forth. At dawn, having reached a conclusion, the mayor said to the gathering crowd:
"There's nothing to fear, gentlemen. He's just decomposing."
It must have fallen through a crack.
Mayor of Toronto
It goes pretty smoothly until you start hitting the rock.
"I've got more than enough to eat at home"
People thought he was a real shoe-in.
*Some* people though it would be nice if Rob Ford could be mayor for tumor years.
...at one o'clock, and signed in with the receptionist. She told him he'd be waiting a while, since his appointment wasn't until two.
"Is this some kind of joke?" He asked, "Can't I get in now?"
"No joke, Mr. Mayor" she said, "it's too soon."
They have to be dead first
Because she did great on the pole
You can explore mayor councillor reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean mayor magistrate dad jokes. There are also mayor puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.
Have you heard of the mountain climber from Bangkok?
He became famous as the Thai of the Eiger.
~
Who won the election for mayor of Bangkok?
It was a Thai.
And it also turns out that Mayor Rob Ford is addicted to both!
Him: Why did the chicken cross the road ?
Her: Because she had heard that the mayor was going to lay a
cornerstone and she wanted to see if he could really do it.
I kissed so many hands and shook so many babies.
Because he was running on CP time.
Mayor ken .
He ran on splitting up gangs.
The mayor holds a meeting and asks everyone to propose a solution.
Someone stand up and says: "We should put a cop next to the hole and whenever someone falls he'll call an ambulance."
Another person offers to put an ambulance next to the hole.
Someone else offers to build a hospital next to the hole.
At this point everybody starts arguing so the mayor shuts everybody up and says: "You are all stupid. We should close up the hole and dig another one next to the hospital."
He always stood behind his peephole
Mayo-r
The trucks which transport the cream are causing so much traffic in the small town that the mayor holds a town hall meeting to find a solution. The residents eventually vote to move the cream by train.
So there was a local motion for mocha lotion locamotion.
Police are trying to figure out if it's assault or a bailout package.
I told him not to become mayor
He said "Honestly, I don't care how people get back to their houses."
A Pubic Servant
The way to his heart is not via myocardial infarction.
He goes up the the mayor, holds up the bounty, and says, I've got your bandit just as you requested 'dead and alive'.
The mayor says, not 'dead AND alive', 'dead OR alive'.
The bounty hunter looks at the bounty and then at the box and then at the mayor, and says, I guess we should open the box then.
He calls his dealership the Civic Centre
Dam it!
He had friends in high places
With the Ramen Manual
Alright everybody, this is the last straw.
You can't get a straight answer out of him.
In Spain, there is a tradition after a bullfight to serve the mayor the bull's testicles.
One day after a bullfight, the mayor asks the waiter: Funny, why are they so small today?
The waiter: Today, sir, the bull won.
Czech Re:public
Until he got it back, the city was called, Milwau.
Americans, do you remember in "jaws" when the Mayor was so concerned about the economy, he told everyone it was safe to get back in the water?
A night mayor
Suddenly, all sorts of people develop medical conditions. A citizens' initiative against the mast is formed. A public hearing is organized with the mayor and representatives of the telecom company. The people bring forward all the ailments they suffer from since the mast was erected.
The telecom technician replies: "For God's sake, what will be going on when we then put the mast into operation?"
First he goes by train and then he has to ride a dog sled for several hours to get there. Upon arriving, he asks the town mayor:
"Have you considered building a train station closer to the town?"
"We have," answers the mayor, "but we eventually decided that the train station should be closer to the railroad."
"We have two big needs," said the Town Mayor. "First, we have a clinic but no doctors."
The politician whipped out his cellphone, spoke for a while and then said, "I have sorted it out. A doctor will arrive here tomorrow. What is your other need?"
"We have no cell phone reception at all in our town.
Lil Johnny is walking a sheep through town. The Mayor stops and asks Lil Johnny what he is doing.
"Silly Billy has a boy sheep and I'm taking our girl sheep to his ranch to get her pregnant," replies Johnny.
The mayor thinks this is a bad idea and tells Lil Johnny that this is a job his father would be better off doing.
"Nah," Lil Johnny says, "I've seen dad trying a quite a few times and our sheep hasn't got pregnant yet."
Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the mayor town jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.
We suggest to use only working mayor clyde piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.