The Best 45 Mayor Jokes
Following is our collection of Mayor jokes which are very funny. There are some mayor toronto jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud. Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these mayor candidates puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.
Funny Mayor Jokes and Puns
My town is so small...
the Village Idiot doubles as the Mayor.
The day after Beethoven's funeral
The day after Beethoven's funeral, at midnight, a drunken man, having just left the bar, went into the graveyard, where he heard a strange sound. Looking for the source of the mysterious sound, he discovered it was coming from Beethoven's grave. Alarmed, he called his friends, and found they could hear the sound too (even the sober ones).
Soon, a crowd was forming at the graveyard. The mayor, who was very familiar with classical music, recognized the sound as Beethoven's 9th Symphony played backwards. When it ended, Beethoven's 8th Symphony started playing, also backwards, and then the 7th, and then the 6th, and so forth. At dawn, having reached a conclusion, the mayor said to the gathering crowd:
"There's nothing to fear, gentlemen. He's just decomposing."
Why didn't Toronto's mayor tell us earlier about his drug use?
It must have fallen through a crack.
What do you call a crackhead?
Mayor of Toronto
How is digging fence post holes like being the mayor of Toronto?
It goes pretty smoothly until you start hitting the rock.
he's not all bad: after an 12 hour shift at a local food kitchen, mayor Rob Ford selflessly turned down a hot meal.
"I've got more than enough to eat at home"
A cobbler was once elected the mayor of a small town.
People thought he was a real shoe-in.
Rob Ford..too soon?
*Some* people though it would be nice if Rob Ford could be mayor for tumor years.
So Rob Ford went to the cancer clinic...
...at one o'clock, and signed in with the receptionist. She told him he'd be waiting a while, since his appointment wasn't until two.
"Is this some kind of joke?" He asked, "Can't I get in now?"
"No joke, Mr. Mayor" she said, "it's too soon."
A mayor bans people living in his town from being buried in the local cemetery
They have to be dead first
Why did a Stripper run for mayor?
Because she did great on the pole
You can explore mayor councillor reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean mayor magistrate dad jokes. There are also mayor puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.
Made in Thailand
Have you heard of the mountain climber from Bangkok?
He became famous as the Thai of the Eiger.
~
Who won the election for mayor of Bangkok?
It was a Thai.
So it turns out that Oreos are as addictive as crack.
And it also turns out that Mayor Rob Ford is addicted to both!
The mayor of Baltimore
The chicken crossed the road.
Him: Why did the chicken cross the road ?
Her: Because she had heard that the mayor was going to lay a
cornerstone and she wanted to see if he could really do it.
I can't believe I lost my candidacy for mayor of my hometown
I kissed so many hands and shook so many babies.
Why did the Mayor take so long to endorse a Presidential candidate?
Because he was running on CP time.
Who is the most patriotic politician ?
Mayor ken .
Freddy from scooby doo was a candidate for mayor of L.A in the 90s
He ran on splitting up gangs.
There's a giant hole in town and everybody is falling in it and going to the hospital
The mayor holds a meeting and asks everyone to propose a solution.
Someone stand up and says: "We should put a cop next to the hole and whenever someone falls he'll call an ambulance."
Another person offers to put an ambulance next to the hole.
Someone else offers to build a hospital next to the hole.
At this point everybody starts arguing so the mayor shuts everybody up and says: "You are all stupid. We should close up the hole and dig another one next to the hospital."
Why did the perverted mayor get reelected?
He always stood behind his peephole
What do you call a mayonnaise bottle that rules a state?
Mayo-r
A small town has a factory which produces coffee scented skin creme.
The trucks which transport the cream are causing so much traffic in the small town that the mayor holds a town hall meeting to find a solution. The residents eventually vote to move the cream by train.
So there was a local motion for mocha lotion locamotion.
Someone threw a dollar coin at the Mayor of Detroit
Police are trying to figure out if it's assault or a bailout package.
My worthless brother just lives off the government...
I told him not to become mayor
During today's press conference, someone asked the mayor of Houston about his opinion on Roe vs Wade.
He said "Honestly, I don't care how people get back to their houses."
What is the proper term for the Mayor of a nudist colony?
A Pubic Servant
How do you not date a California mayor?
The way to his heart is not via myocardial infarction.
If I were the mayor of a town I think I would only ever work sociable hours...
A bounty hunter rides into town with a completely sealed box.
He goes up the the mayor, holds up the bounty, and says, I've got your bandit just as you requested 'dead and alive'.
The mayor says, not 'dead AND alive', 'dead OR alive'.
The bounty hunter looks at the bounty and then at the box and then at the mayor, and says, I guess we should open the box then.
My mayor claims he's a Honda dealer...
He calls his dealership the Civic Centre
What did the mayor say when he found out the river is flooding?
Dam it!
A midget got elected mayor yet no one recalled voting for him.
He had friends in high places
How did the mayor of Chicago learn to cook noodles?
With the Ramen Manual
What did the Seattle mayor say when he banned straws?
Alright everybody, this is the last straw.
I've got a gripe with my town's gay mayor.
You can't get a straight answer out of him.
The Mayor's meal
In Spain, there is a tradition after a bullfight to serve the mayor the bull's testicles.
One day after a bullfight, the mayor asks the waiter: Funny, why are they so small today?
The waiter: Today, sir, the bull won.
What does the Mayor of Prague do to address the publics concerns?
Czech Re:public
One day, the mayor of Milwaukee gave away the key to the city.
Until he got it back, the city was called, Milwau.
Jaws
Americans, do you remember in "jaws" when the Mayor was so concerned about the economy, he told everyone it was safe to get back in the water?
What does a New Yorker have when Bill de Blasio works late?
A night mayor
The first 5G cell phone mast in town is put up
Suddenly, all sorts of people develop medical conditions. A citizens' initiative against the mast is formed. A public hearing is organized with the mayor and representatives of the telecom company. The people bring forward all the ailments they suffer from since the mast was erected.
The telecom technician replies: "For God's sake, what will be going on when we then put the mast into operation?"
A reporter goes to a distant town in Alaska.
First he goes by train and then he has to ride a dog sled for several hours to get there. Upon arriving, he asks the town mayor:
"Have you considered building a train station closer to the town?"
"We have," answers the mayor, "but we eventually decided that the train station should be closer to the railroad."
A politician visited a small remote rural town and asked the inhabitants what the government could do for them.
"We have two big needs," said the Town Mayor. "First, we have a clinic but no doctors."
The politician whipped out his cellphone, spoke for a while and then said, "I have sorted it out. A doctor will arrive here tomorrow. What is your other need?"
"We have no cell phone reception at all in our town.
Lil Johnny's Sheep
Lil Johnny is walking a sheep through town. The Mayor stops and asks Lil Johnny what he is doing.
"Silly Billy has a boy sheep and I'm taking our girl sheep to his ranch to get her pregnant," replies Johnny.
The mayor thinks this is a bad idea and tells Lil Johnny that this is a job his father would be better off doing.
"Nah," Lil Johnny says, "I've seen dad trying a quite a few times and our sheep hasn't got pregnant yet."
Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the mayor town jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.
We suggest to use only working mayor clyde piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.