Mayor Jokes
58 mayor jokes and hilarious mayor puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about mayor that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Looking for some lighthearted jokes to brighten up your day? Check out this hilarious collection of mayor jokes and anecdotes. From the good mayor of a small village to the councillor on the outskirts, these jokes will have you rolling with laughter.
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Funniest Mayor Short Jokes
Short mayor jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The mayor humour may include short city hall jokes also.
- Someone threw a dollar coin at the Mayor of Detroit Police are trying to figure out if it's assault or a bailout package.
- During today's press conference, someone asked the mayor of Houston about his opinion on Roe vs Wade. He said "Honestly, I don't care how people get back to their houses."
- It would be really scary if politicians worked shiftwork There would be so many night mayors
- Made in Thailand Have you heard of the mountain climber from Bangkok?
He became famous as the Thai of the Eiger.
~
Who won the election for mayor of Bangkok?
It was a Thai. - A cobbler was once elected the mayor of a small town. People thought he was a real shoe-in.
- Why didn't Toronto's mayor tell us earlier about his drug use? It must have fallen through a crack.
- Jaws Americans, do you remember in "jaws" when the Mayor was so concerned about the economy, he told everyone it was safe to get back in the water?
- Rob Ford..too soon? *Some* people though it would be nice if Rob Ford could be mayor for tumor years.
- Why would a chess piece in charge of a city be like a bad dream? Because it would be a knight mayor.
- he's not all bad: after an 12 hour shift at a local food kitchen, mayor Rob Ford selflessly turned down a hot meal. "I've got more than enough to eat at home"
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Mayor One Liners
Which mayor one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with mayor? I can suggest the ones about governor and president.
- We had a devastating earthquake recently The Mayor says it was all his fault
- My mayor claims he's a Honda dealer... He calls his dealership the Civic Centre
- How did the mayor of Chicago learn to cook noodles? With the Ramen Manual
- The mayor of Baltimore
- What does a New Yorker have when Bill de Blasio works late? A night mayor
- What do you call a mayonnaise bottle that rules a state? Mayo-r
- Who is the most patriotic politician ? Mayor ken .
- Why did a Stripper run for mayor? Because she did great on the pole
- What does the Mayor of Prague do to address the publics concerns? Czech Re:public
- If I were the mayor of a town I think I would only ever work sociable hours...
- What do you call Justin Trudea, hired as a mayor? The town crier.
- The Mayor of Birmingham has died unexpectedly. He leaves a huge hole.
- What STD can you catch from Mayor McCheese? None, but you can get food poisoning.
- What did the kitty say when it ran for mayor?? Now, that was one politi-cat debate!
- The Mayor of Flint, Michigan will be fired. Who will lead the city then?
Comical Mayor Jokes and Gems that Will Get You in Laughter Land
What funny jokes about mayor you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean chairman jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make mayor pranks.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
My town is so small...
the Village Idiot doubles as the Mayor.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
The day after Beethoven's f**...
The day after Beethoven's f**..., at midnight, a drunken man, having just left the bar, went into the graveyard, where he heard a strange sound. Looking for the source of the mysterious sound, he discovered it was coming from Beethoven's grave. Alarmed, he called his friends, and found they could hear the sound too (even the sober ones).
Soon, a crowd was forming at the graveyard. The mayor, who was very familiar with classical music, recognized the sound as Beethoven's 9th Symphony played backwards. When it ended, Beethoven's 8th Symphony started playing, also backwards, and then the 7th, and then the 6th, and so forth. At dawn, having reached a conclusion, the mayor said to the gathering crowd:
"There's nothing to fear, gentlemen. He's just decomposing."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
What do you call a crackhead?
Mayor of Toronto
How is digging fence post holes like being the mayor of Toronto?
It goes pretty smoothly until you start hitting the rock.
So Rob Ford went to the cancer clinic...
...at one o'clock, and signed in with the receptionist. She told him he'd be waiting a while, since his appointment wasn't until two.
"Is this some kind of joke?" He asked, "Can't I get in now?"
"No joke, Mr. Mayor" she said, "it's too soon."
A mayor bans people living in his town from being buried in the local cemetery
They have to be dead first
So it turns out that Oreos are as addictive as crack.
And it also turns out that Mayor Rob Ford is addicted to both!
The chicken crossed the road.
Him: Why did the chicken cross the road ?
Her: Because she had heard that the mayor was going to lay a
cornerstone and she wanted to see if he could really do it.
I can't believe I lost my candidacy for mayor of my hometown
I kissed so many hands and shook so many babies.
Why did the Mayor take so long to endorse a Presidential candidate?
Because he was running on CP time.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Freddy from s**... doo was a candidate for mayor of L.A in the 90s
He ran on splitting up gangs.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
There's a giant hole in town and everybody is falling in it and going to the hospital
The mayor holds a meeting and asks everyone to propose a solution.
Someone stand up and says: "We should put a cop next to the hole and whenever someone falls he'll call an ambulance."
Another person offers to put an ambulance next to the hole.
Someone else offers to build a hospital next to the hole.
At this point everybody starts arguing so the mayor shuts everybody up and says: "You are all s**.... We should close up the hole and dig another one next to the hospital."
A small town has a factory which produces coffee scented skin creme.
The trucks which transport the cream are causing so much traffic in the small town that the mayor holds a town hall meeting to find a solution. The residents eventually vote to move the cream by train.
So there was a local motion for mocha lotion locamotion.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
What is the proper term for the Mayor of a nudist colony?
A p**... Servant
How do you not date a California mayor?
The way to his heart is not via myocardial infarction.
A bounty hunter rides into town with a completely sealed box.
He goes up the the mayor, holds up the bounty, and says, I've got your bandit just as you requested 'dead and alive'.
The mayor says, not 'dead AND alive', 'dead OR alive'.
The bounty hunter looks at the bounty and then at the box and then at the mayor, and says, I guess we should open the box then.
A midget got elected mayor yet no one recalled voting for him.
He had friends in high places
What did the Seattle mayor say when he banned straws?
Alright everybody, this is the last straw.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
I've got a gripe with my town's gay mayor.
You can't get a straight answer out of him.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
The Mayor's meal
In Spain, there is a tradition after a bullfight to serve the mayor the bull's t**....
One day after a bullfight, the mayor asks the waiter: Funny, why are they so small today?
The waiter: Today, sir, the bull won.
One day, the mayor of Milwaukee gave away the key to the city.
Until he got it back, the city was called, Milwau.
The first 5G cell phone mast in town is put up
Suddenly, all sorts of people develop medical conditions. A citizens' initiative against the mast is formed. A public hearing is organized with the mayor and representatives of the telecom company. The people bring forward all the ailments they suffer from since the mast was erected.
The telecom technician replies: "For God's sake, what will be going on when we then put the mast into operation?"
A reporter goes to a distant town in Alaska.
First he goes by train and then he has to ride a dog sled for several hours to get there. Upon arriving, he asks the town mayor:
"Have you considered building a train station closer to the town?"
"We have," answers the mayor, "but we eventually decided that the train station should be closer to the railroad."
Lil Johnny's Sheep
Lil Johnny is walking a sheep through town. The Mayor stops and asks Lil Johnny what he is doing.
"Silly Billy has a boy sheep and I'm taking our girl sheep to his ranch to get her pregnant," replies Johnny.
The mayor thinks this is a bad idea and tells Lil Johnny that this is a job his father would be better off doing.
"Nah," Lil Johnny says, "I've seen dad trying a quite a few times and our sheep hasn't got pregnant yet."
A new law
Two guys walk into a bar and order lunch. "What brings you guys in today?" the bartender asks. "I guess you haven't heard yet. The mayor passed a law yesterday to try to help out local restaurants during Covid-19. All adult males are required to go and eat lunch out with their best male friends at least once a week," one of the guys answers the bartender. "Well it's not a law really," the other guy corrects him. "It's more of a mandate."
A group of politicians are flying over Italy...
The mayor from Pisa exclaims "We're flying over Pisa!"
"How can you tell?" the others ask.
"Look, you can see the Leaning Tower!"
Later, a Roman parliamentarian shouts "We're flying over beautiful Roma!"
How can you tell?" the others ask.
"Look, you can see the Coliseum!"
After a while, the mayor of Naples cries "At last! We're flying over Napoli!"
"How can you tell?" the others ask.
"Look," he replied, "all your watches have been stolen!"
