Mayo Jokes
119 mayo jokes and hilarious mayo puns to laugh out loud. Read food jokes about mayo that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Are you looking for some fun cinco de mayo jokes? Look no further! We have a collection of hilarious jokes about County Mayo, Kermode and Mayo, tacos, cabbage, and muenster that will get you and your friends laughing out loud! Whether you're at a party or just need a good chuckle, these Mayo jokes are sure to bring joy to any occasion.
Quick Jump To
- Short Mayo Jokes
- Mayo One Liners
- Cinco De Mayo Jokes
- Mayo Mexican Jokes
- Mayo Clinic Jokes
- More Mayo Jokes
Funniest Mayo Short Jokes
Short mayo jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The mayo humour may include short mustard jokes also.
- Jesus at Last Supper *breaks bread* This is my body
*pours wine* This is my blood
*opens jar of mayo*...
Judas: I'm gonna stop u right there - What's the only major difference between Cinco de Mayo and Saint Patrick's day? Nobody wants to pretend to be a Mexican for a day.
- In honor of Cinco De Mayo - Why do Mexicans cross the border two at a time? Because the signs say "No Trespassing".
- At the last supper Jesus lifted the bread and spoke, "This is my body." He then lifted the wine and said, "This is my blood."
He lifted a jar of mayo...
Peter: "Okay, that's enough!" - Happy Cinco De Mayo. A Mexican magician says he will disappear on the count of three He says "uno, dos..." then disappears without a tres.
- If you ever get into an argument with a girl and she pulls a knife, Pull out ham, bread, and mayo. Instincts will kick in and she will make you a sandwich.
- So I was walking down the street and someone threw a jar of mayo at me. I was like "What the Hellmann?"
- Went to a journalists house for dinner and he'd put stickers over his ketchup, mayo and tobasco bottles. Apparently he likes to keep all his sauces anonymous.
- My horse's name is mayo Mayo neighs
- What does a horse do when he eats a bunch of eggs and olive oil? He Mayo-neighs
Share These Mayo Jokes With Friends
Mayo One Liners
Which mayo one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with mayo? I can suggest the ones about ketchup and mustard and mustard and ketchup.
- Mayo is a horse Mayo Neighs
- I have a horse named Mayo. Mayo neighs.
- Dropped my phone in a load of mayo What the Hellmann
- I hate Cinco De Mayo! -Said no Juan ever
- I have a horse named Mayo and sometimes mayo neighs
- I recently bought a horse and I decided to name him Mayo. Mayo neighs.
- I call my horse Mayo Sometimes Mayo neighs.
- A guy threw mayo at me yesterday... I was like what the HellMann!
- I specifically asked for no mayo on my sandwich. What the Hellman
- I just bought a horse and named it Mayo. Why? Because Mayo Neighs.
- I named my horse Mayo. Sometimes, Mayo-neighs
- I named my horse Mayo Mayo neighs.
- And this is my horse, Mayo Mayo: *neighs*
- I have a horse named Mayo I have a horse named Mayo.
Sometimes Mayo neighs. - I have a horse called Mayo. Sometimes Mayo neighs
Cinco De Mayo Jokes
Here is a list of funny cinco de mayo jokes and even better cinco de mayo puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- Conor McGregor hates cinco de mayo... It's nothing personal, he just cant stand Mayweather.
- To all my Americans today: Happy Cinco de Mayo To all my Mexican-American friends: happy Wednesday
- What's the difference between St. Patrick's Day and Cinco De Mayo? On Cinco De Mayo, not everybody pretends to be Mexican.
- This year will be the first cinco de mayo ... When Americans try to avoid getting a case of Corona.
- Mayo in the sink joke
What do you call a sink full of mayonnaise?
Sink o de mayo.
*Put mayonnaise in my sink, call that cinco de mayo. - Yesterday was star wars day (May The Fourth be with you). Today is Cinco de Mayo. Combine the two and tomorrow is... Revenge of the Sixth
- Since it's Cinco De Mayo, I think i'm gonna eat a little mexican tonight! And after that, I'll have dinner!
- What did Conor McGregor say when it rained on Cinco De Mayo? " I don't like Mayweather!"
- My astronomer friend had too much beer on Cinco de Mayo and threw up I guess you could say it was a corona mass ejection
- What do you say if you spill mayonnaise in the kitchen sink? Happy Cinco de Mayo!
Mayo Mexican Jokes
Here is a list of funny mayo mexican jokes and even better mayo mexican puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- What day did the Mexican boat go down in the water? Sinko-de-mayo
- Why did the Mexicans cheer when they filled a cenote with mayonnaise? They celebrate sinkhole de mayo.
- What do you call a Mexican person drowning in mayonnaise? Sinko de Mayo
- What do yo call a Mexican Titanic? Sink-o De Mayo
haah - Whadya' call a Mexican sinking in mayo? Sinko De Mayo.
- What do you call a mexican drowning in mayonise Sin-co-dye-mayo
Mayo Clinic Jokes
Here is a list of funny mayo clinic jokes and even better mayo clinic puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- Did you hear about the injured condiment? He had to be rushed to the Mayo Clinic.
- Where do food condiments go when they need to see a doctor? The Mayo clinic
- Me, on the phone: I have a complaint. Every time I make a sandwich, it's always too dry. Guy on the other end: Sir, that's not what we do at the Mayo Clinic.
- Where does the thick, creamy dressing go when it gets sick? The Mayo Clinic.
- Where do you go if you don't like mustard? Mayo clinic
- Tequila Addiction They're opening a new center to treat tequila addiction in Rochester, Minnesota. It will be known as the Cinco de Mayo Clinic.
- Did you hear about the experimental procedure used at the Mayo Clinic recently? The surgeons cut off a man's entire left side, so now he's alright.
- They do surprisingly little BLT research at The Mayo Clinic.
- BIG CHANGES COMING AT THE MAYO CLINIC! They're switching to mustard!
Hilarious Mayo Jokes that Bring Laughter with Friends
What funny jokes about mayo you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean ketchup jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make mayo pranks.
I'm giving my order at Burger King.
I ask for a Triple Whopper with cheese, and extra mayo. The 20-ish girl in line behind me says, "Do you know what that will do to your body?"
I turned and replied, "Nothing, compared to what my body will do to it."
Things not to say in Subway
1. I would like a 6-inch Hearty Italian.
2. 6-inch doesn't fill me up.
3. Yes, give me more meat.
4. squirt more of that mayo.
5. I can't take a foot-long.
Lose 7 pounds in 3 days with this one weird trick!
Step 1. Purchase mayonnaise.
Step 2. Leave mayonnaise in the sun for 5 hours. Let it really bake.
Step 3. Eat a couple spoon fulls of the mayo.
Step 4. Lose AT LEAST 7 pounds over the next 3 days!
Why didn't Toronto's mayor tell us earlier about his drug use?
It must have fallen through a crack.
What did the mayonnaise say to the man opening the fridge door?
"Don't look. I'm dressing."
[OC] Why did the mayonnaise win the running race?
Because the tomato sauce couldn't Ketchup.
What does the mayonnaise say to the refrigerator?
Shut the door im dressing
A mayor bans people living in his town from being buried in the local cemetery
They have to be dead first
The mayor of Baltimore
What do you call a sinking ship full of condiments?
Sinko de Mayo
Why did the Mayor take so long to endorse a Presidential candidate?
Because he was running on CP time.
I'll have an Italian BMT on Cheddar bread with everything but lettuce. A squirt of mayo and yellow mustard too please.
Oops. Wrong sub.
How does mayonnaise Laugh?
LMAYO
I'm sorry
Donald Trump goes to a fortune teller and asks "When am I going to die?"
The fortune teller replies: "you will die on a major Mexican holiday."
Trump asks: "Which Mexican holiday? Cinco de Mayo? Dia de los muertos?"
The fortune teller replies: "ANY day you die, Donald, will be a major Mexican holiday!"
A woman is doing some grocery shopping...
She's going to the checkout line and the cashier says:
"Coke... mayo... some corn flakes... a bottle of wine... some chips. Let me guess, you're single right?"
The lady goes "Well... yeah, how do you know?"
The cashier answers, "Because you're ugly"
So I was at a film awards event the other night... [n**...]
I was at a film awards event the other night. I went to the toilet and an actress came out a cubicle with a white mark on her dress. I said to her "Oh did you spill some mayo?" and she replied "No its a Harvey Weinstain"😉
Just dropped my phone in a tub of mayo.
What the Hellmann!
My mayonnaise is trying kill me...
...or so my sauces tell me...
What did the mayo say when you opened the refrigerator?
'Shut the door! I'm dressing!'
TIL: The Titanic was not just a passenger liner, but also a cargo ship
Among other things, it was carrying a large shipment of mayonnaise bound for Mexico. When Mexico heard that they would not receive it, they understandably upset, and decided to name a day in memorial of it. They called this day Cinco de Mayo.
Whats a plumbers favourite holiday
Sink-o de mayo
My mayor claims he's a Honda dealer...
He calls his dealership the Civic Centre
What did the mayor say when he found out the river is flooding?
Dam it!
What do you call fancy mayo that falls off the table?
Rollie pullie aioli
How does mayonnaise laugh?
L-MAYO
I accidentally walked in my roommate and saw him slathering himself with jars of Mayo.
What the Hellmann!
I'll have a club sandwich on rye.
Hold the mayo. Cuddle the mustard. Whisper soft words of confidence to the lettuce. Make love to the onion
TIL the sinking of the Titanic is commemorated in Mexico.
Otherwise known as Sinko de Mayo.
I just bought five jars of Mayonnaise so I'm all set for...
Cinqo De Mayo!
Happy Cinco de Mayo
I hope every Juan has a great day
A protestor saw me in London today and decided to throw a squeezy bottle of mayo at me...
... I yelled at him "What the h**...-Man!!!"
What did the mayonnaise say when the refrigerator door was opened?
Close the door, I'm dressing.
mayo problem
A boy says to a girl, "So, s**... at my place?" "Yeah!" "Okay, but I sleep in a bunk bed with my younger brother, and he thinks we're making sandwiches, so we have to have a code. Cheese means faster and tomato means harder, okay?" Later on the girl is yelling, "Cheese cheese, tomato tomato!" The younger brother says, "Stop making sandwiches! You're getting mayo all over my bed!"
If you buy cabbage from Coles you are legally obliged to buy carrots and mayo as well
It's called Coleslaw
At the last supper, Jesus breaks the bread and says "this is my body", pours the wine and says "this is my blood"...
...and then opens a jar of mayo and Judas says "Okay buddy I'm gonna stop you right there."
What did the mayonnaise say to the refrigerator?
Close the door! I'm dressing!
What do ducks make on cindo de Mayo?
Quackamole...?!
A Subway sandwich maker has a very eccentric regular customer.
The eccentric customer always orders a tuna sandwich, but heavily modified, made with an extra cup of mayo, smothered in chili peppers, red peppers, onions, and pickles, then toasted until it's burnt. It looks and smells disgusting and the worker dreads it when he sees that customer come in.
Finally he asks his boss if he can just not wait on that customer. His boss asks why.
The worker screams in frustration: "I hate the mods on that sub!"
I called my horse Mayo...
Some times Mayo whinnies, and sometimes...
Mayo neighs.
Mayonnaise
In 1912, the Titanic sank and everyone still talks about it to this day.
But only weeks after the incident, another ship fell victim to the harsh ocean. This was a large cargo ship that contains various products that were supposed to be delivered to Mexico, among them were sugar, coffee beans, but the bulk of the shipment comprised of mayonnaise. You see, Mexicans love mayonnaise. That's why when it happened on a sad day in May 5th, the whole mexican wept for the fallen sailors and the delicious products they were supposed to enjoy.
Since then, the day of mourning came to be: >!Sinko De Mayo!<
i bought a horse over the weekend..
Her name is Mayo. Every once in a while Mayo-nnaise
I've got a horse named Mayo.
Mayo neighs.
