Max Jokes
80 max jokes and hilarious max puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about max that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
This article covers a variety of jokes related to the pop culture name Max. Learn some funny takes on Mad Max movies, Set Max Sooryavansham, Pepsi Max, 737 Max, Sam and Max, Goldstein Reggie and the Scam.
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Funniest Max Short Jokes
Short max jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The max humour may include short scam jokes also.
- To whoever lost an iPhone 14 Pro Max outside the train station yesterday Can you please stop calling my new phone?
- Only been going to the gym a week And already hitting the max weight on one of the machines.
Shame it's the scales - I saw a used Bose stereo system on sale for for 15$ I asked the guy why it was so cheap and he told me it was a great deal, but the volume is stuck on max.
I thought "well, I can't turn that down". - The good news is that they've started shipping the COVID vaccines. The bad news is that they are shipping them on the 737 MAX.
- I found out my wife was cheating on me today. She said "I'll be home in 10-15 minutes max"
...... My name is Aaron. - I turned on the radio and forgot I had the volume maxed out. Now my left and right ear hertz a lot.
- My doctor assessed my condition and grimaced. He said, "I give you two weeks max." "Bad news," I replied, "and my name is Tom."
- iPad Apple will be unveiling a larger iPad.
Proctor & Gamble is set to file suit over trademark infringements over Apple's new Max iPad. - I don't know why all these countries are ordering to ground the Boeing 737 max They literally ground themselves
- "Max Factor mascara makes eyelashes appear three times longer" They should make condoms...
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Max One Liners
Which max one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with max? I can suggest the ones about ultra and volume.
- Did you guys see the new Mad Max prequel? It was playing on every channel last night
- How fast does the Grinch's sled go? Max speed
- What do you call a man who became fat from eating too much McDonald's? Big Max
- Why do feminists hate the Dead Sea? Because of the toxic max-salinity!
- What's your favorite submersible? Mine's the Boeing 737 Max 8
- Why did Nivea Cream? Because Max Factor.
- What doctors shop at Barnes and Noble? Doctors without Borders.
- The FAA is reviewing the Boeing 737 Max... ... they might throw it under the Airbus.
- Need your best Short Jokes One sentence max, I'll start:
A Dyslexic walks into a bra - What's a Warboy's from Mad Max's favourite web browser? Chrome
- Wanna watch Mad Max: Fury Road in VR so realistic you'd swear it's real? Go to America
- What do you call a 2 foot angry blue Scotsman named Max? Max.
- What's small and thin but gets you in? Maxing out your credit cards
- Max wondered why the ball was slowing growing larger.... and then it hit him.
- My New Year's resolution is to cut back on my drinking... One fifth a day, max.
Mad Max Jokes
Here is a list of funny mad max jokes and even better mad max puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- What does a War Boy from Mad Max say when he goes to court to sign an affidavit? "WITNESS ME!"
- Unlike most people I had never seen a Mad Max movie until I binge watched them all My Mad Max movie marathon made me more mainstream.
- Mad Max: Fury Road fans never actually watched the movie they WITNESSED it.
- I watched Mad Max: Fury Road today.
- Have you seen Mad Max Fury Road?
Max Payne Jokes
Here is a list of funny max payne jokes and even better max payne puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- I was playing some video games the other day when I got an ache, the levels of which were the highest imaginable. Max Payne.
- All the children are driving a tank Except little Max Payne, he's stuck in the chain.
Comedy Max Jokes to Make Your Friends Giggle
What funny jokes about max you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean minimum jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make max pranks.
I saw a TV for sale for 1$
I saw that the TV was in very good condition.
"Why is it so cheap? " I asked the seller
"The volume is stuck at max, and it can't be turned down" he replied
"So everything else works?" I asked
He turned it on, and sure enough everything worked, except the volume
"So you're gonna buy it?"
"A TV for $1? Can't turn it down"
Inigo Montoya gets married
He tells his new wife that he has always wanted a son to carry on the family name. They try for several years, but never have any children. Upset, he takes her to Miracle Max to see what can be done. Miracle Max looks her over, asks some questions, consults his books, and comes back with the bad news. He tells Inigo that his wife will never bear children. It turns out that she's inconceivable.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A Jewish guy walks into a bar. The Chinese bartender asks him his name...
"I'm Max Goldberg", he says, "what's yours?"
"I'm Wei Zhang, it's nice to meet you."
Mr. Goldberg says, "I'll never forgive you people for b**... Pearl Harbor."
"I'm Chinese. That was the Japanese."
"Chinese, Japanese, all the same to me."
Mr. Zhang says, "I'll never forgive you people for sinking the Titanic."
"I'm Jewish, that was an iceberg."
"Goldberg, iceberg, all the same to me."
I bought a new TV today...
Got a great 50" HDTV for $29.99 today.
Of course, there was a catch... The volume was stuck at the max setting so it was incredibly loud.
But for $29.99, I couldn't turn it down.
Don't know if this is known but I wanted to share
The wife said: "hey I'm gonna be back in 2 hours max"
Husband: "are you cheating on me?"
Wife: "what?"
Husband: "say what you just said"
Wife: "I'm gonna be back in 2 hours max"
Husband: "Exactly, my name is John"
I Think My Wife is Cheating on Me!
I think my wife accidently admitted to cheating on me. She was getting ready to go to the gym and I asked her when she would be back. She replied, "An hour, two Max."
The only problem...my name isn't Max!
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
My friend Max really gets off on climbing
We call him c**....
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
What happens if you put a child in an oven and turn the heat up to max for 1 hour?
I'll tell you in 10 minutes.
Hannah and Max are talking during recess...
Max finds Hannah really pretty. Thinking he's old enough for a girlfriend, he decides to try to flirt with Hannah.
"I just remembered, I had a dream about you last night!", Max did not, in fact, have a dream about Hannah last night.
"Oh, really? Was it a nice dream?", says Hannah, clearly flattered. Max starts to panic.
"Uh, I can't remember, I slept through it!"
I'm not gonna get CoViD-19.
I'll better wait until the release of CoViD-20, CoVid-20 Pro and CoViD-20 Pro Max.
Judging by how expensive this year's iPhones are...
It's no wonder why they're called the iPhone Excess and iPhone Excess Max
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
On average how many planes c**... each year?
Typically in bounces between 7, 3, and 7. But recently it's at Max 8
Hidden talent
John: Bro i think i have a hidden talent
Max: Cool what is it
John: Dunno didn't find out yet
There is a university in Germany that continually searches for the biggest piece of wood
Its the Max Plank institute
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
After the recent incidents regarding 737 MAX airplanes Boeing should definitely rebrand.
b**... is much more fitting.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
(adult) What's the max Top Speed a girl can have s**...?
68mph.
Because any faster she'll flip over and blow a rod.
*Wonder how many "hi my name is rod" replies..
I just came back from the doctors and he had a magic scale that guesses your name
But it got it wrong my name isn't "Max"
My friend had a Mario themed wedding.
He had a Sonic themed divorce a year later. It was over really fast and he lost all his rings.
When I bought this car, no one told me there would be three jews in the air conditioner
High, Norm and Max
Max the camel walks into his parents' room at 2am and asks for a glass of water.
His dad says, "Another one? That's the second glass this month."
HBO Max has removed the film Gone With The Wind, from their streaming platform and...
frankly my dear...
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
The new iPhones are at the c**... of political correctness
It's not XL, it's XS Max.
What do you call the coins you use to play games at the Lord of the Rings Arcade?
J.R.R Tokens. *original joke by Max Howland.
How did the Avon lady get pregnant?
Max Factor
What does an Escalade and Artificial Intelligence have in common?
Max Headroom
Where to purchase Natural Max Garcinia?
America has deployed a crack team of specialists over to Nigeria to try and find the missing school girls.
Britain had sent Stuart Hall, rolf harris and Max Clifford.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
How does Max Payne organize his list?
**BULLETS.**
Why does Max Holloway not need protection?
Cause he always pulls out
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
I Went to the doctor..
..."I said, Doctor, I think I'm a pig!"
he asked "How long have you felt like that?"
I replied "About three wee-wee-weeks!"
(Use your best pig impression on the "wee" punchline for max entertainment!)
What did one hungover dog say to the other?
Woof, we had a ruff night, Max.
They got my name wrong at Starbucks...
I said Tom, not Max.
It wasn't even the right drink either.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
I was boiling a p**... of water on max temperature
It went from 0 to 100 real quick
P.S sorry Americans
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
What's the difference between an iPhone XS Max and a c**...?
They don't sell condoms to people who are conscious of their d**... for $1k
Whoever named the new iPhones XR, XS and XS Max should be fired.
iPhone XS, M and XL. It was right there!
Salvador Dali, Rene Magritte and Max Ernst walk into a bar...
...and the bar tender said, drinks are on the house.
