Mauled Jokes
28 mauled jokes and hilarious mauled puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about mauled that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Funniest Mauled Short Jokes
Short mauled jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The mauled humour may include short mugged jokes also.
- My friend, who's star sign was cancer, died very ironically. He was mauled by a giant crab.
- My wife's star-sign was Cancer, so I guess you could say it was ironic how she died. Mauled to death by a giant crab.
- Did you hear about the man who got his entire left side of his body mauled off by a bear? He's all right now.
- Did you hear about the sith lord who went shopping? He went to the Maul. Everything was half off.
- What's the difference between a woman and a tiger entering a commercial center? The woman is shopping in the mall and the tiger is mauling in the shops.
- Ironic isn't it? Darth Maul and Count Dooku died nearly the same way... But one was just "ahead" of the other
- Apparently, Kevin James has been convicted of murdering a fish in cold blood. It's true, Paul Blart mauled carp.
- Did you hear about the discounts at Darth Maul? I heard they're going to cut the sales by half
- Did you hear about the circus performance gone wrong? The lion tamer was mauled, it was in tents.
- Did you hear about the new TV show about a retired Sith Lord that becomes a criminal for hire? The title is: "Better Call Maul".
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Mauled One Liners
Which mauled one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with mauled? I can suggest the ones about mangled and slaughtered.
- My friend got mauled by a bear.... but i'm not gonna discuss the Grizzly details......
- Where does a Sith Lord do their shopping? The Maul.
- Where did the sith go to get their robes The shopping maul
- What was Obi-Wan Kenobi's favorite place to hang out? The Maul.
- There's a sale at the Maul Everything's half off
- What's Darth Maul's favourite alcoholic beverage? *Qui-Gon* Gin
- You know Darth Maul from Star Wars? He's only half the man he used to be.
- Did you hear about Darth Maul's girlfriend? She caught sithilis.
- A man was mauled by a bear, but lived. He said the pain was unBEARable...
- How did Qui Gon Jinn die? He went to the Maul
- Where do the Sith shop? At the Darth Maul.
:3 - Once you've seen an Elephant attacked by a lion... You've seen a maul.
- I witnessed a bear attack at the food court today! I was at the shopping maul.
- A man walks into a bār And he gets mauled.
- A man walks into a bear... He is mauled to death.
Happy Mauled Jokes for a Lighthearted Night with Friends
What funny jokes about mauled you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean bullied jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make mauled pranks.
A goat farmer and his wife one day went to feed the goats.
Unfortunately for her the male goat was particularly aggressive that day and mauled her to death. During her f**... the farmers brother came from another town. His brother was amazed how many people showed up to the f**... and said "Look how many people came to pay their respects to your wife" In tears the farmer says " they are not here for the f**... they are here hoping to buy the goat".
Train Tracks
A blonde, a brunette, and a red head were walking through a forest when they come upon a set of tracks.
"They must be a set of polar bear tracks," says the blonde.
"No, no, they are a set of deer tracks," says the brunette.
The red head then exclaimed, "Are you kidding me? Polar bear! This is a forest not the North Pole! A deer is understandable, but these are train tracks!"
They were still arguing when they were mauled by a polar bear.
I got mauled by a Great Dane and ended up in intensive care
Come on s**... Doo, ICU
Two men are hunting in the woods...
One of them tries to shoot a bear, but misses and ends up being mauled by the bear. After the incident, as he is "bear"ly holding on to life the othe runs over and calls 911. "Help my friend and i were hunting and he got mauled by a bear, I think he's dead! " The woman on the phone responds "well we would love to help, but first can you make sure he's dead"....*BANG!!!!* .... " ok he's dead, what do I do next"
What's black and white and red all over?
A penguin that's recently been mauled to death by a polar bear.
