The Best 53 Mature Jokes

Following is our collection of funniest Mature jokes. There are some mature fromage jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud. Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these mature muenster puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Funny Mature Jokes and Puns

I've decided to become mature and enter the dating scene. My first move is an introduction. 'Hi my name is Eric'

Eric-tiledisfunction

Why did the mature guy enjoy the painfully corny joke?

Because he was a groan man.

I was walking down the street one day..

and a man threw a bit of cheese at my head, i turned to him and said; 'oh, real mature mate'.

Mature joke, I was walking down the street one day..

'Sex' and 'Love' ....;)

At the retreat, a couple was told to individually write a sentence using the words 'sex' and 'love.'

The woman wrote:
When two mature people are passionately and deeply in love with one another to a high degree and they respect each other very much, just like my hubby and I, it is spiritually and morally acceptable for them to engage in the act physical sex with one another.

The Husband wrote: I Love Sex.

Why is 18 year old Scotch better than a 18 year old girl?

An 18 y.o. Scotch is less expensive, and you don't have to remember it's birthday. An 18 y.o.Scotch does not care if you try another Scotch. An 18 y.o. Scotch is mature, well mannered and good alone or shared. An 18 y.o. Scotch won't make you look like a child molester. And most impotantly, a 18 y.o. Scotch doesn't try to talk to you.


What is the difference between a guitar player and government bonds?

Government bonds mature over time and earn money

I was walking home today...

...and a group of boys in a car drove past me and threw something out the window that just narrowly missed my head, I look down to find a block of cheese on the ground, and I just thought to myself... That's not very mature.

Mature joke, I was walking home today...

So I was driving down the road one day, and somebody threw a lump of cheese at me...

and I thought to myself, that's not very mature...

On a scale from one to one hundred, how mature are you?

69.

I like my women like I like my wine...

...locked in a dark basement for several years until they are mature enough to enjoy.

I asked my girlfriend to describe me in 5 words. She said I'm mature, I'm moral, I'm pure, I'm polite and I'm perfect..

Then she added that I also had a fundamental lack of understanding about apostrophes and spaces.

You can explore mature grownup reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean mature uncultured dad jokes. There are also mature puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.


Some young women are like bottles of wine

They need to be tended to carefully and given time to mature, which is why I keep a few in my cellar.

On a scale of 1 to 100, how mature do you think you are?

69

Someone keeps throwing cheese at me

Yeah, real mature.

I say two kids fighting the other day, and as a mature and responsible adult, I had to step in.

They didn't stand a chance.

Having a threesome with a mom and daughter

So it was Saturday night and I had no date and decided to drop in at the bar to get drunk and hopefully a girl to get laid with. As I started downing a few shots I noticed this hot looking mature lady ( must be in her 50s) sitting all alone at a corner table getting drunk and this thought came to mind that if she looks so hot for her age then she must be having a hot looking daughter as well and wish I could have a threesome with them. So I went to her table and asked her if I could join and to my delight she said yes. I chatted her up and next thing I know we caught a taxi and proceeded to her home. In the taxi I told her about my fantasy of having a threesome with a mother daughter combo and to my delight she felt it was a great idea and so we reached her home and as we entered she let out a shout,"Mom you still awake?"

Mature joke, Having a threesome with a mom and daughter

My girlfriend just asked how mature I was on a scale of 1 to 100..

..apparently 69 was not the correct answer.

How does cheese get more mature?

Fromage

What Austrian girls and wine have in common?

Both mature in a cellar.


What's the difference between a drummer and publicly traded stock?

Publicly traded stock will mature and make money.

Cheese & Milk

Just as I was getting home last night a guy hit me with a block of cheese.

I thought that wasn't very mature.

He then ran over and pour milk all over my head.

I thought HOW DAIRY!!!

Bread is not emotionally mature enough to have threesomes

When you spread your nuts all over one slice, the other gets jelly.

Why is the new Zork game rated M for mature??

I guess it's too grue-some.

Why did the cheese not play with the toppings on the pizza

Because it was too mature

I was walking down the road when this bloke threw a lump of cheddar at me.

"That's not very mature" I said.

Mature plants will pollinate with any neighbouring plants if possible

This is known as Adult Tree.

I was walking down the street today and someone threw a block of cheese at me...

I said "That's mature..."

What's the difference between trumpet players and government bonds?

Government bonds eventually mature and earn money.

What is the difference between a guitar player and a savings bond?

The savings bond will eventually mature and earn money.

What kind of cheese do elderly people like to eat?

Mature cheddar

I like my women the same way I like my cheese

Mature

A kid threw a chunk of cheddar at me today

I didn't think that was very mature.

Fortunately, it wasn't sharp.

Have you ever seen a mature cow slide down a snowy hill on a pair of sticks?

Nope, never seen a Gronkowski

A guy drove past me in his car and threw a lump of cheddar at me.

I thought to myself "That's mature!"

You know you can fit 63 Earths in Uranus.

I don't think I'll ever be mature enough to not laugh at that.

I got home last night...

...after a long day at work, and the wife just throws a massive plate of cheese at me.

I yelled at her,"Well that's f*cking mature!"

My husband cheated

I caught my husband cheating. I'm not going to lie, I didn't handle it in the most mature way possible. I threw an iron at him and took quite a bit of money from him.

Then later we had a heart to heart and decided never to play Monopoly again. Lesson learned.

A bloke chucked a piece of cheddar at me the other day

I said "that's not very mature is it"

I asked my wife to say 4 things about me

She said I'm mature, I'm polite, and I'm perfect.

And that I have no idea how apostrophes work.

I was in my house last night, and at around midnight I heard a smash. I ran downstairs and someone had thrown a block of cheese through my window....

Looked at it and thought, that's mature

I noticed that I am quite a mature person, ever since I stopped making indirect comments about others.

Unlike some others that I know.

I was walking home and someone threw a block of cheese out of their window hit me on the head

I turned and shouted that wasn't very mature was it

I was walking down the street when a group of kids threw a block of cheese off me, they burst into laughter and I yelled

That's not mature is it

In the supermarket yesterday, some bloke threw a pack of mild cheddar at me.

I thought "that's not very mature".

My friend sneaked up behind me, and hit me over the head with a block of cheese

I said Oh that's very mature.

This kid was throwing cheese at me in the supermarket last night.

I thought, well that's mature.

If you adults are so mature then stop making school shooting jokes.

They're directed at a younger audiance

(PLS don't get offended)

I always wait for my Dad jokes to mature.

That way they're full groan.

Went for walk yesterday and a bloke threw a lump of cheese at me.

I thought to myself, well that's not very mature.

I was walking home and somebody threw a block of cheese at my head

It wasn't very mature.

I was in the supermarket the other day when this guy threw a block of cheddar at me.

Outraged, I shouted : "Well that's not very mature is it ?"

Do you know how you can tell that women mature faster than men?

Men don't grow boobs until they turn 40.

(Credit goes to the old guy who made me chuckle today at work)

What do you call a dating service connecting young men with mature women?

Oedipal Arrangements

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the mature gouda jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working mature brie piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

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