The Best 12 Mattresses Jokes

Following is our collection of funniest Mattresses jokes. There are some mattresses waterbed jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud. Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these mattresses comforter puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Funny Mattresses Jokes and Puns

One more for the road. Abu Al Abid went to USA for the first time,

He opened a furniture shop & a lingerie shop.
In 6 months....
he made a good business.
He sends an email to his wife saying:
Please rush, pack up & come to USA,
I sold 100 mattresses and 5000 panties.
I made $100,000.
She replies:
It is better that you close your shop and come back fast.
With 1 mattress & with no panties
I made $300,000.. ...

Why are ISIS inflatable mattresses the best?

They blow themselves up.

Business is going well

A man left his home country of India to go to America in hopes of making money to support his family. He opened a furniture and lingerie business and in just 3 months he had made 80,000 dollars.
So he he wrote to his wife saying 'Honey I want you and the kids to come to America, I sold 1500 mattresses and 900 panties and business is going well!'
The wife wrote back saying 'You should come back to India, with just 1 mattress and no panties Ive made 500,000 dollars!'

Mattresses joke, Business is going well

I don't understand why mattresses aren't talked about more

Seems like people are really sleeping on them

What mattresses do Lannisters use ?

They push two twins together to make a king.

I bought two mattresses the other day

I really only needed one, but when I went to buy it, I saw that it was a twin, and I didn't want to separate them.

Bought one of those fancy memory-gel mattresses

Doesn't work because it turns out nothing has happened in my bed that's worth remembering

Mattresses joke, Bought one of those fancy memory-gel mattresses

What do Tempurpedic mattresses and raptors have in common?

"They remember"

So, I ate a memory foam mattress again

I had forgotten how much better they taste than traditional mattresses.

Successful people only sleep on bare mattresses...

...because after all that hard work you don't want to sheet the bed.

So I went to the mattress store and tried laying on one of the Temper-Pedic mattresses.

I was impressed.

You can explore mattresses machinery reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean mattresses headboard dad jokes. There are also mattresses puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.

While discussing different things people use to get high: Brother: How do you get high on mattresses?

Dad: You stack them up.

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the mattresses bed jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working mattresses elle piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

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