Mattresses Jokes

Following is our collection of funny Mattresses jokes. Read mattresses waterbed jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) that will make you laugh out loud.

Enjoy this list of puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these mattresses comforter puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Comical & Quirky Mattresses Jokes for a Roaring Good Time

One more for the road. Abu Al Abid went to USA for the first time,

He opened a furniture shop & a l**... shop.
In 6 months....
he made a good business.
He sends an email to his wife saying:
Please rush, pack up & come to USA,
I sold 100 mattresses and 5000 p**....
I made $100,000.
She replies:
It is better that you close your shop and come back fast.
With 1 mattress & with no p**...
I made $300,000.. ...

Why are ISIS inflatable mattresses the best?

They blow themselves up.

Business is going well

A man left his home country of India to go to America in hopes of making money to support his family. He opened a furniture and l**... business and in just 3 months he had made 80,000 dollars.
So he he wrote to his wife saying 'Honey I want you and the kids to come to America, I sold 1500 mattresses and 900 p**... and business is going well!'
The wife wrote back saying 'You should come back to India, with just 1 mattress and no p**... Ive made 500,000 dollars!'

I bought two mattresses the other day

I really only needed one, but when I went to buy it, I saw that it was a twin, and I didn't want to separate them.

I don't understand why mattresses aren't talked about more

Seems like people are really sleeping on them

What mattresses do Lannisters use ?

They push two twins together to make a king.

What do most people look forward to but most mattresses fear?

Spring Break

Mattresses joke, What do most people look forward to but most mattresses fear?

Bought one of those fancy memory-gel mattresses

Doesn't work because it turns out nothing has happened in my bed that's worth remembering

What do Tempurpedic mattresses and raptors have in common?

"They remember"

So, I ate a memory foam mattress again

I had forgotten how much better they taste than traditional mattresses.

Successful people only sleep on bare mattresses...

...because after all that hard work you don't want to sheet the bed.

You can explore mattresses machinery reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean mattresses headboard dad jokes. There are also mattresses puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.

So I went to the mattress store and tried laying on one of the Temper-Pedic mattresses.

I was impressed.

While discussing different things people use to get high: Brother: How do you get high on mattresses?

Dad: You stack them up.

Remember that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes that make girls laugh. Many of the mattresses bed puns are supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When a joke goes too far, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke becomes inappropriate.

We suggest you to use only working mattresses elle piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and make them laugh.

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