Following is our collection of funny Matthew jokes. There are some matthew broderick jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.
Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these matthew jacob puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.
The reviews were
AlrightAlrightAlright AlrightAlrightAlright AlrightAlrightAlright AlrightAlrightAlright
AlrightAlrightAlright
Ferrous Bueller
It was all white, all white, all white.
George Clooney said, "I'll direct."
Dicaprio said, "I'll produce."
And Matthew McConaughey said, "I'll write, I'll write, I'll write."
Waiter: Hello sir, welcome to our restaurant! What can I get for you?
Jesus: Hello Matthew. Today I would like a steak please.
Waiter: How did you... oh right, you're Jesus! Duh. Anyways, how would you like that?
Jesus: Well done, good and faithful servant
Matthew goes into a confessional box and says "Bless me father for I have sinned, I have been with a loose woman."
The Priest says "is that you Matthew?"
"Yes father, it is I."
"Who was the woman you were with?"
"I cannot tell you for I do not wish to sully her reputation."
The priest asks "Was it Brenda O'Malley?"
"No father."
"Was it Fiona MacDonald?"
"No father."
"Was it Ann Brown?"
"No father, I cannot tell you."
The priest says "I admire your perseverance but you must atone for your sins. Your penance will be five Our Fathers and four Hail Marys."
Matthew goes back to his pew and his buddy Sean slides over and asks "What did you get?" Matthew replies "I got five Our Fathers, four Hail Marys and three good leads."
A right a right a right
It's not true, I love Matthew and Not-Matthew equally.
Ferrous Bueller
She said it's not a Matthew McKindaDay.
All white, all white, all whiiiiiiiite...
You can explore matthew matt reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean matthew jehovah dad jokes. There are also matthew puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.
... "Today's sermon is going to be about 'liars'. How many of you have read the 69th chapter of the gospel according to St Matthew? "
Nearly everyone raised their hands.
"You are exactly the people I want speak to. There is no 69th chapter of the gospel according to St Matthew."
It just goes all right, all right, all right.
He managed to find mates named Matthew, Mark, Luke and John hanging around in the Middle East.
All rice, all rice, all rice
Failure to Lunch?
All rye all rye
"The girls get older, but he stays the same age"
-first attempt at a original joke (apologies if its a repost that I'm unaware of)
Alt-right, alt-right, alt-right
Alt-Right Alt-Right Alt-Right
All rye all rye all rye!
I love Matthew and Not-Matthew equally.
Alt right, alt right, alt right..
Alt right alt right alt right
Alt-right, alt-right, alt-right.
Alt-right, alt-right, alt-right.
He said "Alright, I'll write all right."
He's gonna be alt-right, alt-right, alt-right.
So the turns are all right all right all right.
Tom hanks says "I'll produce it"
Leonardo DiCaprio says "I'll direct it"
Matthew McConaughey says "I'll write I'll write I'll write"
And he's making racers drive the opposite direction. Now instead of making left turns, they're going all right, all right, all right
Don't worry, I'm alright alright alright now.
"It'd be a lot cooler if you did."
All rice, all rice, all rice
... I guess we should've known he was part of the alt-right alt-right alt-right.
George said: I'll Direct
Matt Damon said: I'll produce
Matthew McConaughey said: ill write ill write ill wriite
Matthew McConaughay
He picks it up,
Matthew, are you driving home from work?
Yes! At least I'm trying!
Well be careful out there. There's some idiot on the interstate going in the wrong direction.
Honey... everyone's going in the wrong direction!"
_Rhydon rhydon rydon_
Matthew: "Can I get three loaves of bread please?"
Baker: "What type do you want sir?"
Matthew: "All rye, all rye, all rye."
George Clooney says he's gonna direct Leonardo DiCaprio says he's gonna be the producer and Matthew McConaughey says I'll write I'll writte I'll write
Leonardo DiCaprio, George Clooney and Matthew McConaughey are sitting around discussing a movie they want to make.
DiCaprio says I'll be the lead actor
Clooney says I guess I'll be the director then
McConaughey says I'll write, I'll write, I'll write
Of course, they are going to need roles for each other, but none of them can decide what they want to do. They argue over this for hours, until Leonardo finally decides he wants to direct, since he is the best with cameras. Eventually, Brad Pitt decides he wants to produce, since he's the one with the most money. Now there's only one left; McConaughey. DiCaprio turns to him and says,
Well what does that leave you with?
Matthew thinks about this for a while, until he finally turns to the two of them.
I'll write, I'll write, I'll write.
DiCaprio says I'll be the lead actor
Clooney says I guess I'll be the director McConaughey says I'll write, I'll write, I'll write
I'll write, I'll write, I'll write!
When asked to comment what he saw he simply said,
Alt Right, Alt Right, Alt Right
He's planning to run on an alt-right, alt-right, alt-right platform.
Clooney says, I'll direct.
DiCaprio says, I'll act.
McConaughey says, I'll write, I'll write, I'll write.
I think it's obvious he's a member of the Alt Right, Alt Right, Alt Right
It'd be a lot cooler if you did.
"The sermon that I'm going to preach today is about honesty"
Everyone nodded.
"Before I begin, I would like all those who have read Matthew chapter 29 verse 15 to raise their hands"
More than half the people raised their hand.
"That is very unfortunate to see as there is only 28 chapters in the book of Matthew"
All ripe, all ripe, all ripe.
What is Matthew McConaughey's favorite bread and he said
All white all white all white
And I said no you dummy
It's all rye all rye all rye
All right, all right, all right
Everybody knows him for his signature phrase:'All rise, all rise, all rise'.
I'll write, I'll write, I'll write.
Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the matthew joanna jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.
We suggest to use only working matthew jonathan piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.