Matt Jokes

Funniest Matt Short Jokes

Short matt jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The matt humour may include short matey jokes also.

1. Me: My name is Matt, and I'm an alcoholic. AAA: This is AAA, not AA.
   Me: Yeah, I was just explaining how my car got in the lake.
2. If Matt Groening wanted to announce he wanted to do an Ask Me Anything... Would he say Future-AMA?
3. Matt LeBlanc was just announced as the newest presenter on BBC's Top Gear It may be a challenge for him, on his last show it's like he was always stuck in second gear
4. My mate wears the same jacket when he's impersonating either Matt Damon or Hugh Jackman. Maybe he's Bourne with it, maybe it's Wolverine.
5. Alex- Have you heard? Professor Smith from our apartment house is gay!
   Matt - Wow, what a surprise! I have been sleeping with him for half a year, but never knew he was a professor...
6. New variant is called Omicron, the 15th letter of the Greek alphabet. Futurama had Omicronians.
   Matt Groening is from the future.
7. What's the difference between Jesus Christ and Matt Gaetz? Matt Gaetz is not coming back after he's crucified
8. What's the difference between Wanda Maximoff and Matt Murdoch? Matt knows how to cope without vision.
9. Matt Damon is to star in a new movie about a man who has accepted Jesus as his Savior or Redeemer. The Bourne Again Christian
10. Matt Schaub and Eli Manning walk into a bar. What happened? They order a beer sampler and the bartender tells them to pick 6.

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Matt One Liners

Which matt one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with matt? I can suggest the ones about mike and mick.

1. What do you call a man with no arms and no legs lying in front of your door? Matt.
2. What do you call a quadriplegic laying on the floor? Matt.
3. What does Matt Damon call it when he shops for cheap clothes? Goodwill Hunting
4. What do you call a communist dog? Karl Barx
   Shout-out to "Matt & Tom" for that 😊
5. What do you call a quadruple amputee waiting by your door? Matt
6. How do you sabotage a space mission ? Send Matt Damon
7. My friend Matt really likes bullfighting. Specifically, Mattadores bullfighting
8. What do you name a boy with no arms and no legs? Matt
9. What do you call a guy with a rug on his head? Matt
10. What do you call someone without arms or legs Matt
11. My mom asked me the other day, "Joe, do you think I'm a bad mother?" My name is Matt.
12. What do you call a man who is always at your front door? Matt
13. What do you call 3 Matts standing in line? A Matt-trick!
14. A beer matt walks into a bar.. Drinks are on me!
15. What were the odds that Matt Damon made it off Mars? Astronomical

Matt Damon Jokes

Here is a list of funny matt damon jokes and even better matt damon puns that will make you laugh with friends.

• Some diseases are airborne, some are waterborne... But the Matt Damon disease is Jason Bourne
• Matt Damon's movie "The Great Wall", has had it's release date postponed... Seems the Mexicans haven't paid for it yet.
• What does Johnny Depp, Dave Pirner and Matt Damon have in common? They were all Winona Riders.
• Did you hear about the Bourne identity movie? Matt Damon returns in ..........Still Bourne
• What do you call a baby Matt Damon? A new-Bourne
• Glad to see Matt Damon nominated for Best Actor. I honestly believe he is the Best Actor on the planet.
• Leo and Matt Damon are talking..... Leo:wanna hear a joke?
  Matt: sure
  Leo:OSCAR!
  Matt: i did'nt get it
  Leo:EXACTLY
• I watched Lost In Space and loved it! It was a great documentary on Matt Damon.
• Why can't Matt Damon find work? Because he was Bourne yesterday.
• All of Matt Damon's stuff... ...is Damon-possessed.

Matt Lauer Jokes

Here is a list of funny matt lauer jokes and even better matt lauer puns that will make you laugh with friends.

• I guess the reason they could never find Matt Lauer is because... there are no cameras in the girls locker rooms.
• You know it may upset people that Matt Lauer is no longer on the Today show But look on the bright side, Now everyday is where in the world is Matt Lauer.
• What do Matt Lauer and Santa have in common? They both only come when you are asleep.
• By firing one of its most veteran journalists, NBC is sending a clear message… *'Where In the World Is Matt Lauer?'* is going to be a lot harder this year.
• Have you heard about Matt Lauer ?
• 'Where in the World is Matt Lauer?' Locked away in his office with an unsuspecting woman.
• Where in the universe is Matt Lauer? Uranus
• Where in the world is Matt Lauer?

Bob And Matt Jokes

Here is a list of funny bob and matt jokes and even better bob and matt puns that will make you laugh with friends.

• What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in the water? Bob.
  On the wall? Art.
  On the floor? Matt.

Matt Groening Jokes

Here is a list of funny matt groening jokes and even better matt groening puns that will make you laugh with friends.

• My friend kept on trying to tell jokes with famous people's names in them, but he always mispronounced them. We were Matt Groening the whole time.

The Name Matt Jokes

Here is a list of funny the name matt jokes and even better the name matt puns that will make you laugh with friends.

• Had a friend that loves to lay on my front porch in front of my door all day. His name was Matt
• In a world where you get what rhymes with your name... Candy for Mandy. Cats for Matt... Poor Nick...
• A pickup line for people named Matt. "Hey girl, you should sleep with me, my name's short for mattress." (Just made it up today, please don't hate me.)
• What was the hurricane's reaction when some joker tried to shorten his name to Matt? Hew hew hew.
• A man named Matt works as a doorman... He's a DoorMatt

Experience Good Cheer with Hilarious Matt Jokes and Friends

What funny jokes about matt you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean josh jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make matt pranks.