Matt Damon Jokes
44 matt damon jokes and hilarious matt damon puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about matt damon that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Funniest Matt Damon Short Jokes
Short matt damon jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The matt damon humour may include short matt jokes also.
- My mate wears the same jacket when he's impersonating either Matt Damon or Hugh Jackman. Maybe he's Bourne with it, maybe it's Wolverine.
- Matt Damon is to star in a new movie about a man who has accepted Jesus as his Savior or Redeemer. The Bourne Again Christian
- Some diseases are airborne, some are waterborne... But the Matt Damon disease is Jason Bourne
- Matt Damon's movie "The Great Wall", has had it's release date postponed... Seems the Mexicans haven't paid for it yet.
- What does Johnny Depp, Dave Pirner and Matt Damon have in common? They were all Winona Riders.
- Did you hear about the Bourne identity movie? Matt Damon returns in ..........Still Bourne
- Glad to see Matt Damon nominated for Best Actor. I honestly believe he is the Best Actor on the planet.
- Leo and Matt Damon are talking..... Leo:wanna hear a joke?
Matt: sure
Leo:OSCAR!
Matt: i did'nt get it
Leo:EXACTLY
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Matt Damon One Liners
Which matt damon one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with matt damon? I can suggest the ones about matt lauer and bob and matt.
- What does Matt Damon call it when he shops for cheap clothes? Goodwill Hunting
- How do you sabotage a space mission ? Send Matt Damon
- What were the odds that Matt Damon made it off Mars? Astronomical
- What do you call a baby Matt Damon? A new-Bourne
- I watched Lost In Space and loved it! It was a great documentary on Matt Damon.
- Why can't Matt Damon find work? Because he was Bourne yesterday.
- All of Matt Damon's stuff... ...is Damon-possessed.
- I saw Matt Damon eating toast in his hometown... ...could it be Bourne and Bread?
- What audio file format does Matt Damon use? FLAC
- Why did Matt get a Ticket? He's a speed Damon.
- If Matt Damon had a twin brother, he would look just like Matt Damon.
- This year, Matt Damon is... Matt Damon.
- Matt Damon did on mars what the Irish couldn't do in Ireland He grew potatoes!
- Why must Matt Damon always get saved He just doesn't want to Da mon
- What do you call Matt Damon when he haunts a carpet store? Mat d**...
Uplifting Matt Damon Jokes to have Hilarious Fun with Friends
What funny jokes about matt damon you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean matthew mcconaughey jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make matt damon pranks.
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g**... in the military
If gay men were allowed in the army, Saving Private Ryan will be a lot shorter, because it wouldn't take them 3 hours to find Matt Damon.
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This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
I was beaten to a lead role in a film, and have planned to get my revenge with Matt Damon ever since.
I'll make him wish he'd never been Bourne.
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Why does Matt Damon refuse to have s**... in his newest movie?
Because he's Bourne again.
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Did you see Matt Damon's character in Invictus?
That's apartheid like to play.
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Matt Damon
What do you call a Matt Damon having s**...?
Good Will h**...
An Amish Woman Discovers An Elevator
There was this elderly, Amish woman who went with her family to a mall for the first time in their lives. The whole family was mesmerized by the hundreds of stores, the lights, the food court. And then, for the first time in her life, the Amish woman saw an elevator. She watched as an elderly man approached the elevator doors and entered. The doors closed. A minute later, the doors opened and a guy looking like George Clooney stepped out. She saw another old guy get on, and, a minute later, out came a Matt Damon look-alike. A third old man went in and out came a Ryan Gosling-type man. She called to her daughter, "Quick, go get your father."