Matron Jokes
3 matron jokes and hilarious matron puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about matron that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Matron Funny Jokes to Tell Your Friends and Kids.
What is a good matron joke to make people laugh? Check out this list of funny stories that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth.
A Scotsman, an Englishman and an Indian man were waiting outside the delivery room.
The matron comes out and explains that the hospital has accidentally mixed up the babies.
The Scot goes straight in and picks up the brown baby.
The Indian says "Are you sure that's your baby?"
The Scot says "No, but there's no way I'm going to risk leaving here with an English baby."
A train goes under a tunnel.
A soldier, an officer, a young woman, and a matron are sitting in a train compartment. The train goes into a tunnel, and for a moment all is dark. A kiss is heard, followed by a slap. The light comes back, and the officer is rubbing his face.
The matron thinks "that awful officer kissed the young woman and got what he deserved."
The young woman thinks "that blind fool tried to kiss me, and kissed the old woman instead."
The officer thinks "That cheeky private kissed the girl and she thought it was me."
The soldier thinks "That worked out pretty well. I kissed the back of my own hand and got to slap an officer."
Two Parents Want to Adopt a Child...
so they head down to adoption agency. They say to the matron,
"We'd like to adopt a child please."
She responds, "Well, we only have one child left. And he's a head."
"What?"
"He has no arms or legs. He's really just a head, poor thing."
But the new parents decide they want him anyway. So they take him home, and he has a great childhood. He does well in school, learns to overcome his disability, and his parents support him.
Eventually, he turns 21 and his dad takes him out for his first drink. They head up the hill to the local bar and take a seat.
The dad says, "Two beers please."
The bartender gives them the drinks and the son enjoys his first beer. Then, p**...! Two arms pop out. Two drunks sitting over at a nearby table yell, "Give 'im another one! Give 'im another one!"
So he has another beer and p**...! Two legs pop out. Everyone celebrates, the son is dancing around and having a good time, when the drunks say, "Give 'im another one!"
The son has another beer and p**...! He disappears!
The two drunks look at each other and say, "He should have quit while he was a head."
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