Following is our collection of **funniest Maths jokes**. There are some maths triggernometry jokes no one knows (*to tell your friends*) and to make you laugh out loud. Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these **maths knock knock math puns** funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

because I don't believe in higher powers

"We need to cut costs!" He says. "All this complex technology you guys use! Why can't you be more like the Maths department? All they need is pencils, paper and wastebaskets!"

"Better still," says the dean of physics, "we could be like the philosophy department. All they need is the pencils and paper."

Was sitting in class doing maths problems when his teacher picked him to answer a question.

"Johnny, if there were five birds sitting on a fence and you shot one with your gun how many would be left?"

"None," replied Johnny, "'Cause the rest would fly away."

"Well, the answer is four," said the teacher, "But I like the way you are thinking."

Little Johnny says, "I have a question for you now; If there were three women eating ice cream cones in a shop: one was licking her cone, the second was biting the cone, and the third was sucking the cone, which one is married?"

"Well," said the teacher nervously, "I guess the one sucking the cone?"

"No," said Little Johnny, "The one with the wedding ring on her finger, but I like the way you are thinking."

but doesn't understand maths.

- Mike Birbiglia

Student: Sir I'm cold!

Teacher: Go and stand in the corner then.

Student: Why would I do that?

Teacher: Because it's 90 degrees over there.

I failed maths so many times, I can't even count.

Little Johnny was in his maths class one day when the teacher said to him "If I gave you $200," the teacher began," and you gave $50 to Mary, $50 to Sally, $50 to Susan and $50 to Amy, what would you have?"

"An orgy," Johnny answered.

a polynomeal

Trigger-nometry... I'll see myself out.

but then one day I realised that decimals had a point

You can explore maths mathematic reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean maths yo mama math dad jokes. There are also maths puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.

Question 1) If Mohammad has 3 apples and gives one to Hassan and one to Ahmed, what is the radius of the explosion?

It was a weapon of math destruction.

I'm so sorry.

...it said to give my answers to 3 significant figures.

He pulls up into the drive of their house, eagerly awaiting his wife's response.

Instead, she looks angry and horrified. She storm up to his window and says "You ALWAYS leech off of MY money!"

"W-What?"

"LOOK AT YOU! I don't know HOW you earned this car!"

"Why?"

"YOU DIDN'T DO THE WORKING FOR IT!"

It has been shown that the moon is moving away from us at a tiny (but measurable) distance each year. Therefore, if you do the maths, you will find that eighty-five million years ago it would've killed many, if not all the dinosaurs, by orbiting at an elevation of approximately thirty-five feet.

Triggernometry

One day, a box wouldn't open, a Lawyer came, applied all the laws he knew, it didn't open, a Chemist came, applied all reactions he knew, and the box wouldn't open, a Physicist came, applied all forces, it still didn't open, then a Mathematician came and said : " Let's assume the box is open "

... because she is the reciprocal of cosC

There's an XY axis but no XX axis.

Those that are good at maths and those that are bad.

Jimmy comes home from school and his mum asks him what he's learned

today. "I learned that if I have three apples and Jenny gives me two more apples, I'll have five apples."

"That's right," says his mum. "So if you have four bananas and I give you three more, how many will you have?"

"Dunno. We haven't done bananas yet."

I would have about £6.30 right now.

with varying degrees of success.

I'd have about $6.50 right now

I was so bad that I was expelled from my school for failing that subject so often. Because of this, my father sent me to Catholic school and after going for a year, my grades improved. The reason being, the second I walked through that door and saw the guy nailed to the fricking plus sign, I knew this school meant business.

I'm making little things count.

THIS guy!

We met for a few drinks at the bar on campus. After a while I took a look around the room.

"Wow, you're the most average girl in here."

"What?! You're mean!" She screamed.

"No, you are."

I told them not to try and simplify something so complex.

A cowculator.

"Well, she got my intelligence", says the Mom.

The Dad says:" Yep, and I still got mine."

I phoned my local radio station today.

When the guy answered the phone he said, "Congratulations on being our 1st caller, all you have to do is answer the next question correctly to win our grand prize."

"Wahoo!" I shouted in delight.

"It's a Maths question," he said. "Feeling

confident?"

"I've got a degree in Maths and I teach it at my local school," I proudly replied.

"Okay then, to win 2 VIP tickets to see Justin Bieber and to meet him back stage afterwards, what's 2+2?"

"7," I replied.

"Draw me like one of your French curves."

I can tell, cos there's no sin of his tan

She said, "You won't, but some of the smart kids might."

Because her algaebra didn't hold up.

Mean

I've done the maths. I'm amazing at unemployment.

Maths teacher: "If you have 12 chocolates and you give

5 to Priya,

3 to Sonia and

2 to Penny then what will you get?"

"3 new Girlfriends!"

The second-order.

I guess that made it a 33.5

They maths debate.

So, he signed over Kos and got a tan instead.

You can count on it.

"Watch this," he said. "Shep, what's seven plus two, "

And the dog barked ten times.

"OK, Shep, what's fifteen plus four. "

And the dog barked twenty times.

"He's very good, " I replied, but he's a little over. "

"Yeah, " answered the farmer, "old habits die hard, he's just rounding them up. "

An algaebra.

Note: Not my original. I had read this somewhere a few years ago. Kudos to the original creator.

Algaebra

So I did a 360 and left.

2001: Terrible at maths

2008: Great at maths

It's called making the little things count.

He hates topology and that is what mostly torus apart.

More than I can count

.. If they're under thirteen just do them in your head

What a waste of 15 years!

A genius answered : A line is a dot, going for a walk....

and the remaining % good in maths

They weren't too big to fail.

I'd have $8.32

So I turned up at eleven but the place was empty.

I used to teach history, but thats all in the past.

I started teaching biology but my heart wasn't in it.

I tried teaching chemistry, but there were elements i didnt understand.

I was offered a job teaching maths, but something didn't add up.

I was sent to Germany to do food science, that was the wurst.

I've started teaching physics, its got potential.

*Johnny counts on his fingers....*

Johnny - FOUR, miss?

Math teacher - yeah, that's right. But you are counting on your fingers...

Put your hands behind your back and tell me what's 3+3?

*Johnny fumbles around..*

Johnny - SIX, miss?

Math teacher - yes, that's right..but you're still counting on your fingers...

Put your hand in your pockets and tell me what's 5+5?

*Johnny fumbles around his pockets...*

Johnny - ELEVEN, Miss??

Henry was doing maths homework, saying to himself...

"2+5, the son of a bitch is 7"

"3+6, the son of a bitch is 9"

His mother heard this & asked, " Henry ! What is this nonsense you are doing?"

"Oh Mom. Don't disturb. I am doing my maths homework"

Mom: "Is this how your teacher taught you?"

"Yes mom "

Infuriated mother picked up her cell phone and called the teacher:

"Are you teaching maths to children by saying... 2+2, the son of a bitch is 4?"

There was silence for a moment

Then the teacher started laughing :

"What I taught them was... 2+2 THE SUM OF WHICH IS 4."

***

All because my maths teacher told me to carry pie to 3 dismal places.

He needed to get away from the house of sin.

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the maths calculust jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working maths the math lesson piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.