Maths Calculator Jokes
41 maths calculator jokes and hilarious maths calculator puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about maths calculator that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Funniest Maths Calculator Short Jokes
Short maths calculator jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The maths calculator humour may include short math exam jokes also.
- Why did ChatGPT's mom always ask it to solve math problems? Because it was good at calculating attention!
- I know why Hogwarts doesn't have math class. They have a magical device for it. It's called a calculator.
- Teacher arrested on airplane after bag was searched A protractor, a ruler, a calculator, and a book of graph paper. He was charged with possessing implements of math instruction
- I don't like teachers who make me calculate with humans. They commit math genocide on a daily basis.
- ISIS math problem Ahmed has 5 bags. If he gives 2 to Mohamed and 1 to Jamal. Then calculate the radius of the blast.
- What do you say Everytime maths wants you to calculate value of his X Dear Maths, I'm sick & tired of finding your 'X' she's gone dude and don't ask 'Y'
- I've finally created a field of math which can calculate the degree to which Donald Trump is compounding his problems... Cuckulus
- What do you call someone who is always disagreeing with their calculator? A chronic math debater
- Math Joke Me: Hey are you good at math?
Friend: No....
Me: My calculations tell me that's incorrect. - My teacher told me in elementary school I needed to learn math in my head because I "... Wouldn't have a calculator in me all the time." Siri thought that was a cute story.
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Maths Calculator One Liners
Which maths calculator one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with maths calculator? I can suggest the ones about math homework and math tutor.
- Why did mike tyson bring his calculator to church? He was invited to thunday math.
- Anyone have any good math jokes? [META] Right now I'm busy calculating sum.
- Never mess with a scientist doing math out in the snow... He's cold and calculating.
- If you have a math test, you can always count on it. A calculator
- Why are rabbits like calculators?
They both multiply a lot. - I threw my electronic maths device at a criminal... Which was a calculated risk.
- What's the name of the beauty pageant contender who doesn't know math? Miss calculated
- How would you calculate the mass of crystals using crystal maths
- I almost tried to shoplift a calculator... But the math just didn't add up.
Maths Calculator Funny Jokes And Hilarious Puns.
What funny jokes about maths calculator you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean math test jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make maths calculator pranks.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Pakistani math problem.
Ahmed has 3 lunch boxes.
He gives one to Mohammed and another to Hassan. Calculate the radius of the e**....
A guy carrying a backpack gets stopped by the police on suspicion of terrorism..
The police officer asks him to let him check his backpack. The guy obliges. In his backpack, the officer finds some textbooks, a calculator, a compass and a ruler.
"Aha!", shouts the policeman, "as I suspected. You are under arrest!"
"But why?" the guy protests.
"You have been caught in procession of weapons of math instruction!"
Oldie but goodie
During a job interview, the interviewer asked me if I had any impressive qualities? I said, "Yes, I'm very fast with math!" Suspicious he asked me to prove it. He told me to solve 327x49. I said 34,567! He pulled out his calculator and put it in. With a confused look on his face he says, "That's not even close!" I said, "Yeah, but it was fast though!"
No idea where the original came from but this one gets me every time.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A girl bangs a calculator on the desk to make it work
Math teacher: why are you making noise
Girl: my calculator isn't working so I'm b**... it to make it work
Math teacher: the calculator's gonna break, how would you like it if i banged you on the table
Whole class: HAHAHAHAHHAHAHA
Trump has spent about twenty percentage of his days in office playing golf.
(Me, an Asian)
If I spent that much time playing golf, my GPA would go down to a...—————
*takes out calculator*————
*quick math*————
*puts it back*———
98.1. My GPA would go down to a 98.1.
Yeah, schools aren't that good.
Chuck Norris is the only person to know pi, because when he puts it into the calculator, the calculator doesn't dare give him only part of it.
Translated version
The math teacher was new to the elementary class so he just wanted to know how good are the kids in basic calculation. He picked a random student and started asking questions.
Math teacher : What's 2+2?
The kid opens 2 fingers in both his hands and counts and says "4 sir."
Math teacher : What's 4+3?
The kid opens 4 fingers in one hand and 3 in the other, counts and says "7 sir."
Math teacher wanted the kids to start doing the calculations in mind so he asked the kid to keep his hands inside the pockets of his shorts and answer his next question.
Kid does as the teacher says.
Math teacher : What's 5+5?
The kid opens his fingers in his pocket and starts to count and answers "11 sir".
Son comes home after school
As he walked into the living room, his half-drunk father greets him:
"Hey son, how was school?"
The son replies:
"Alright I guess, the math teacher gave us homework and I'm not sure I know how to do it."
"Here, let your old man help ya. How does it go?" - says dad
Son opens his textbook and starts reading the assignment:
"Charles has 14 apples, he gives 2 to his mom and 4 to his dad. How many apples does he have left?"
The dad leans back in his chair to think. For a few minutes he stares into the air doing calculations in his head. Another 5 minutes pass, and he looks at his son and says:
"What did ya say his name was again?"
Funny joke I made during math class
Take my calculator
Look at friend
Tell him I will calculater
Why did little Jimmy try to eat his calculator?
His math teacher told him to crunch the numbers.
Johnny's math skills
The village priest pays a visit to the local primary school. After introducing himself and his church, he also wants to see how much the kids have learnt already and asks little Johnny: "So Johnny, if you have 8 appples and you give me 4, how many apples do you have left?" "4, Sir", little Johnny replies. "Very well done!", the priest responds. "And if you have 3 sausages and I give you an additional 5, how many sausages do you have then?" he questions little Johnny further. "Sir, this question I cannot answer, because we haven't calculated with sausages yet".
A teacher was arrested because he attempted to board a flight while possessing a ruler, protractor, and calculator...
(sorry it's *slightly* outdated but funny nonetheless)
A teacher was arrested because he attempted to board a flight while possessing a ruler, protractor, and calculator. Attorney General Alberto Gonzales said he believes the man's a member of the notorious Al-gebra movement. The man's been charged with carrying weapons of math instruction.
Al-gebra is a problem for us, Gonzales said. Its followers desire solutions by means and extremes and sometimes go off on tangents in search of absolute values. They use secret code names like 'x' and 'y' and refer to themselves as unknowns,' but we've determined they belong to a common denominator of the axis of medieval, with coordinates in every country.
When asked to comment on the arrest, George W. Bush said, If God had wanted us to have better weapons of math instruction, He'd have given us more fingers and toes. Aides told reporters they couldn't recall a more intelligent or profound statement by the President.
An engineer, a physicist, and a lawyer were being interviewed for a position as chief executive officer of a large corporation.
The engineer was interviewed first, and was asked a long list of questions, ending with "How much is two plus two?"
The engineer excused himself, and made a series of measurements and calculations before returning to the board room and announcing, "Four."
The physicist was next interviewed, and was asked the same questions.
Before answering the last question, he excused himself, made for the library, and did a great deal of research.
After a consultation with the United States Bureau of Standards and many calculations, he also announced "Four."
The lawyer was interviewed last, and was asked the same questions.
At the end of his interview, before answering the last question, he drew all the shades in the room, looked outside the door to see if anyone was there, checked the telephone for listening devices, and asked "How much do you want it to be?"