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Maths Calculation Jokes

44 maths calculation jokes and hilarious maths calculation puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about maths calculation that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

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Funniest Maths Calculation Short Jokes

Short maths calculation jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The maths calculation humour may include short maths calculator jokes also.

  1. Why did ChatGPT's mom always ask it to solve math problems? Because it was good at calculating attention!
  2. My math teacher was arrested for carrying a protractor, a calculator, and a ruler! The FBI charged her with weapons of math instruction.
    They really threw the book at her…
  3. I know why Hogwarts doesn't have math class. They have a magical device for it. It's called a calculator.
  4. Teacher arrested on airplane after bag was searched A protractor, a ruler, a calculator, and a book of graph paper. He was charged with possessing implements of math instruction
  5. I don't like teachers who make me calculate with humans. They commit math genocide on a daily basis.
  6. ISIS math problem Ahmed has 5 bags. If he gives 2 to Mohamed and 1 to Jamal. Then calculate the radius of the blast.
  7. What do you say Everytime maths wants you to calculate value of his X Dear Maths, I'm sick & tired of finding your 'X' she's gone dude and don't ask 'Y'
  8. I've finally created a field of math which can calculate the degree to which Donald Trump is compounding his problems... Cuckulus
  9. What do you call someone who is always disagreeing with their calculator? A chronic math debater
  10. Math Joke Me: Hey are you good at math?
    Friend: No....
    Me: My calculations tell me that's incorrect.

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Maths Calculation One Liners

Which maths calculation one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with maths calculation? I can suggest the ones about math problem and math homework.

  1. Why did mike tyson bring his calculator to church? He was invited to thunday math.
  2. Anyone have any good math jokes? [META] Right now I'm busy calculating sum.
  3. Never mess with a scientist doing math out in the snow... He's cold and calculating.
  4. If you have a math test, you can always count on it. A calculator
  5. Why are rabbits like calculators?
    They both multiply a lot.
  6. I threw my electronic maths device at a criminal... Which was a calculated risk.
  7. What's the name of the beauty pageant contender who doesn't know math? Miss calculated
  8. How would you calculate the mass of crystals using crystal maths
  9. I almost tried to shoplift a calculator... But the math just didn't add up.

Maths Calculation Funny Jokes And Hilarious Puns.

What funny jokes about maths calculation you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean math exam jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make maths calculation pranks.

Pakistani math problem.

Ahmed has 3 lunch boxes.
He gives one to Mohammed and another to Hassan. Calculate the radius of the e**....

t**...

At New York's Kennedy Airport today, an individual later discovered to be a public school teacher was arrested trying to board a flight while in possession of a ruler, a protractor, a set square and a calculator. Authorities believe he is a member of the notorious al-Gebra movement. He is being charged with carrying weapons of math instruction.

A guy carrying a backpack gets stopped by the police on suspicion of terrorism..

The police officer asks him to let him check his backpack. The guy obliges. In his backpack, the officer finds some textbooks, a calculator, a compass and a ruler.
"Aha!", shouts the policeman, "as I suspected. You are under arrest!"
"But why?" the guy protests.
"You have been caught in procession of weapons of math instruction!"

Breaking News

At Miami International Airport today, an individual, later discovered to be a public school teacher, was arrested trying to board a flight while in possession of a compass, a protractor, and a graphical calculator.
Authorities believe he is a member of the notorious Al-Gebra movement which has struck t**... into the lives of many for generations. He is being charged with carrying weapons of math instruction.

Oldie but goodie

During a job interview, the interviewer asked me if I had any impressive qualities? I said, "Yes, I'm very fast with math!" Suspicious he asked me to prove it. He told me to solve 327x49. I said 34,567! He pulled out his calculator and put it in. With a confused look on his face he says, "That's not even close!" I said, "Yeah, but it was fast though!"
No idea where the original came from but this one gets me every time.

A girl bangs a calculator on the desk to make it work

Math teacher: why are you making noise
Girl: my calculator isn't working so I'm b**... it to make it work
Math teacher: the calculator's gonna break, how would you like it if i banged you on the table
Whole class: HAHAHAHAHHAHAHA

Pakistani Maths Problems are like really really complex

Abdul has 3 lunch boxes.
He gives one to Rafiq and another to Hassan.
Calculate the radius of the e**....

A guy carrying a backpack gets stopped by the Police on suspicion of terrorism

A guy carrying a backpack gets stopped by the Police on suspicion of terrorism.
The Police officer asks him to let him check his backpack. The guy obliges.
In his backpack, the officer finds some textbooks, a calculator, a compass and a ruler.
"Aha!", shouts the policeman, "as I suspected. You are under arrest!"
"But why?" the guy protests.
"You have been caught in possession of weapons of maths instruction!"

At Heathrow Airport today, an individual, later discovered to be a school teacher, was arrested trying to board a flight while in possession of a compass, a protractor, and a graphical calculator.

Authorities believe she is a member of the notorious al-Gebra movement. She is being charged with carrying weapons of math instruction.

Jihadi math university question: Ahmed has 3 lunch boxes. He gives one to Mohammed and another to Hassan.

Calculate the area it will cover after the e**....

Trump has spent about twenty percentage of his days in office playing golf.

(Me, an Asian)
If I spent that much time playing golf, my GPA would go down to a...—————
*takes out calculator*————
*quick math*————
*puts it back*———
98.1. My GPA would go down to a 98.1.
Yeah, schools aren't that good.

My old maths teacher was arrested today.

In his home was a protractor, a calculator, and ruler. He was arrested for carrying weapons of math instruction.

My teacher told me in elementary school I needed to learn math in my head because I "... Wouldn't have a calculator in me all the time."

Siri thought that was a cute story.

Chuck Norris is the only person to know pi, because when he puts it into the calculator, the calculator doesn't dare give him only part of it.

Translated version

The math teacher was new to the elementary class so he just wanted to know how good are the kids in basic calculation. He picked a random student and started asking questions.
Math teacher : What's 2+2?
The kid opens 2 fingers in both his hands and counts and says "4 sir."
Math teacher : What's 4+3?
The kid opens 4 fingers in one hand and 3 in the other, counts and says "7 sir."
Math teacher wanted the kids to start doing the calculations in mind so he asked the kid to keep his hands inside the pockets of his shorts and answer his next question.
Kid does as the teacher says.
Math teacher : What's 5+5?
The kid opens his fingers in his pocket and starts to count and answers "11 sir".

Son comes home after school

As he walked into the living room, his half-drunk father greets him:
"Hey son, how was school?"
The son replies:
"Alright I guess, the math teacher gave us homework and I'm not sure I know how to do it."
"Here, let your old man help ya. How does it go?" - says dad
Son opens his textbook and starts reading the assignment:
"Charles has 14 apples, he gives 2 to his mom and 4 to his dad. How many apples does he have left?"
The dad leans back in his chair to think. For a few minutes he stares into the air doing calculations in his head. Another 5 minutes pass, and he looks at his son and says:
"What did ya say his name was again?"