Mathematics Jokes
80 mathematics jokes and hilarious mathematics puns to laugh out loud. Read science jokes about mathematics that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Funniest Mathematics Short Jokes
Short mathematics jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The mathematics humour may include short algebra jokes also.
- I like my women like I like my mathematical constants. Round and irrational.
Happy pi day everyone! - I feel severely let down by two people in my life. My father, my mother, and my mathematics teacher.
- Job Interview "It says in your CV that you are quick at mathematics. What is 17x19?"
"36"
"That's not even close!"
"But it was quick!" - Reading all these jokes makes me go numb... But reading mathematics-related jokes makes me go number
- What mathematical operation is used to calculate the rate at which lumberjacks cut wood? Logger-rhythms.
- What do I get when I pour my Root Beer into a square mug? Just Beer.
If you don't get it, think mathematically. - What is ISIS's favorite mathematical operation? Square Root.
Anything it is applied to becomes radicalized. - Mike Tyson starts a club to dispute the fundamental rules of mathematics He names it: The Math Debate Club
There was a lot of confusion in their first meeting. - If you are having trouble unlocking your front door, take out your wallet and arrange all the bills in mathematical order. Because organizing your finances is key.
- My PhD student claims to have made a breakthrough in hyperbolic mathematics Turns out he was just exaggerating
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Mathematics One Liners
Which mathematics one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with mathematics? I can suggest the ones about math homework and science and math.
- Puns make me numb Mathematical puns makes me number
- Mathematics is 90% common sense, the other half is intelligence.
- Studying History makes you numb but studying Mathematics makes you number.
- When a mathematics student graduates do they get a degree, or a radian?
- Mathematical joke - Why did Sin go to the beach? Cos he wanted a Tan
- A Pure Mathematics degree is useless… I want a Pure Mathematics radian.
- What do you call a mathematical snake? A π-thon.
- How do you induce a current in a wire by counting to 10? By mathematical induction.
- What do you call four rats on a mathematical equation? A quadratic equation :)
- What do you call a mathematical function with too many powers? An exponential crisis.
- You being born is mathematically called a... Spermutation.
- Mathematically speaking.. The average person is mean. :-)
- Over 75% of people find Mathematics easy! I don't believe it! Guess I'm with the rest 15%
- I've solved every single mathematical problem! I have nothing more to add
- I'm fine with most parts of mathematics. But geometry is where I draw the line
Hilarious Fun Mathematics Jokes to Bring Joy & Laughter with Friends
What funny jokes about mathematics you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean math solving jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make mathematics pranks.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
I found this new social media channel of a cute girl in revealing outfit that teaches elementary mathematics
Her account is "The THOT that Counts"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Little Jewish boy that can't understand math
Two Jewish parents are very concerned that their little boy is failing at mathematics. They exhaust every method of tutoring and schooling, until they reach their last resort.... Catholic School.
The very next day little Elisha comes home from school, runs to his room, and began studying. To the parents astonishment when his reportcard arrives he has an A in math!!
They asked Elisha what the difference was and he replied," When I saw what they did to the poor guy on the plus sign I knew they were serious!!"
Georgia joke
The owner of a golf course in Georgia was confused about paying an invoice, so he decided to ask his secretary for some mathematical help.
He called her into his office and said, "Y'all graduated from the University of Georgia and I need some help. If I wuz to give yew $20,000, minus 14%, how much would you take off?"
The secretary thought a moment, and then replied, "Everthang but my earrings."
A businessman is at the office.
He was confused about a bill he had received, so he asked his secretary for some mathematical help. "If I were to give you $20,000, minus 14%, how much would you take off? " he asked her.
The secretary replied, "Everything but my earrings. "
Yokel Logic
Two country types are sitting outside a university, when a man comes out. One of them stands up, and goes over to talk to this man.
He says ''Ello there, son. You look loike one of them clever university toipes. What is it that you're studyin' then?'
The man, slightly stunned, says, 'I study Mathematics, Physics and Logic'
The country dude says 'Oo- arr, logic, what's that then?'
The Student replies, 'I could teach you it.'
'Okay then.'
'So', says the student, 'you look like a country type. I'm going to guess that you have a tractor?'
'Yep'
'And if you have a tractor, then surely you have... a yard, to keep your tractor in?'
'Arr'
'So in turn, surely you have a house next to that yard?'
'Wow, incredible, go on!'
'And taking care of that big house must be awfully hard on your own- so you must have a wife to help out with it?'
'Moi god...'
'And because you live with your wife, I'm going to conclude that you're a heterosexual!'
'Oh lord...' says the farmer. 'How did you know all that?'
'That's logic, my friend', says the student, and he walks off with a cheerful wave.
The yokel runs over to his friend to show off his newfound learnings.
''Ere, Oi've got somethin' to show ya! It's called 'Logic'', he shouts.
'Alroight then', says the friend
'So, do you have a tract'r?'
'No'
'Then you're Gay!'
One of these things is not like the other
Which one of these things is not like the other?
-A large all dressed pizza & bread sticks
-A degree in neuroscience
-A degree in theoretical mathematics
-A degree in engineering
Answer: A degree theoretical mathematics.
Reasoning: All of these can feed a family of four except for the answer
Who is the rudest person in my mathematical family?
Aunt Sally
(real news) Chinese archaeologists have discovered the country's oldest mathematics document, written on bamboo more than 2,200 years ago!
Even more amazing - one of the answers is wrong.
I met a Japanese mathematician yesterday
Japanese Mathematician: "Acknowledge my presence, zero"
Me: "Can you elaborate in mathematical terms?"
Japanese Mathematician: "Notice me sin(pi)"
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This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
8 out of every 5 people are mathematically illiterate
What are Muslim men's favorite mathematical equation?
Inequalities
A 13 year old boy has difficulty with mathematics, failing in public school.
His parents were not religious but after a friend's suggestion they felt a private Catholic school may be more effective. His grades began to rise dramatically after this switch. Asked what has helped him so much, he responded
"When I saw the guy nailed to the plus sign I knew they meant business!"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Why can't Trump supporters ever get into higher levels of mathematics?
Cause they can't grasp the concept of integration.
(all credits to my friend if he reads it here but didn't post it himself!)
An infinite number of mathematically inclined cows walk into a bar...
And the bartender says, "close the door! Were you raised in a barn?!"
But the cows keep shuffling in.
Because they don't understand English.
Interviewer: You said you are quick in mathematics, could you tell me what is a two hundred and fifty times eighty whole divided by sixty nine?
Man: Six thousand eight hundred and fourty five.
Interviewer: Hm... that's not the right answer...
Man: But i'm quick.
I like my men like I like mathematics.
Hard.
What comes after sextillion?
Babytillion!
A lawyer was confused and hassled with mathematics of a case...
... So he asked his secretary:
"If I give you USD 3 million less 17.5%, how much would you take off?"
Secretary: "Everything Sir! Dress, Underwear, Everything."
I taught my cat mathematics.
I asked her "What's three minus three?"
She said nothing.
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This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
What is a s**...'s favorite mathematical term/status?
Hypotenuse.
Logan in mathematics...
loga+logn = logan
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A village of mathematical functions is slumbering
when suddenly the alarm bells ring:
a rogue differential operator has been sighted.
Fearing for their life, the functions run away or try to hide, but a brave function stands its ground and confronts the aggressor: I am e to the x, you cannot do anything to me! Go away!
The differential operator calmly replies: but I am d over dt, and proceeds to s**... the poor exponential.
The Lottery
Is a voluntary tax for the mathematically challenged.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
did you hear about the mathematics w**... who was afraid of negative numbers?
his phobia was so bad that he will stop at nothing to avoid them.
dedicated to my special friend blader2601.
Unreal numbers are the easiest part of advanced mathematics.
The struggle is real.
A thief stole a sine and a cosine.
He took the two identities to a beach. However, they were too heavy for him to carry. He wanted to keep them under the sand, but the beach was so narrow that it could only contain one of them: sine or cosine.
He decided that, using his mathematical skills, that he would stack sine over cosine - but that resulted in tan! He did not want to get tan. So he stacked cosind over sine...
and then he got cot.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
What's h**...'s favorite mathematical process?
Process of elimination
What is the mathematical formula for the sound of a front door closing?
It's the base decibel level raised to the power of n. The exponent n represents the number of hours ago you told your wife you'd be home.
At school, a teacher is teaching little kids Mathematics.
At school, a teacher is teaching little kids Mathematics. She says: "Does anybody of you already know how to count? For example you, what's your name?"
"My name is George Lucas. Yes, I know how to count."
"Please show me."
"Four, five, six, one two, three."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
The Greatest s**... Culture . . .
A Greek and an Italian were talking one day, discussing who had the superior culture.
Over coffee, the Greek says, "Well, we built the Parthenon."
The Italian replies, "We built the Coliseum.
The Greek retorts, "We Greeks gave birth to mathematics."
The Italian, nodding, says, "But we built the Roman Empire ".
And so on and so on until the Greek comes up with what he thinks will end the discussion.
With a flourish of finality he says, "We invented s**...!"
The Italian replies, "That may be true, but it was the Italians who included women."
Three fishermen catch a mermaid. If they agree to set her free, she will grant them each a wish. The first guy says, "OK, I want you to double my I.Q." Immediately, the guy recites Shakespeare flawlessly. The second guy asks the mermaid to triple his I.Q.
Suddenly, he's spouting complicated mathematical solutions. Impressed, the last guy asks the mermaid to quintuple his I.Q. The mermaid hesitates and asks, "Are you sure that's what you really want?" "Absolutely!" says the man. The mermaid smiles. Instantly, the third man turns into a woman.
Average joke
3 teachers, Science, Auto shop, and Mathematics, go hunting together over their winter vacation. They come across an enormous 6 point buck. The science teacher who saw it first takes aim. He fires and misses by 3 feet to left. The auto shop teacher shoulders him asside and says, " this is how you do it!". He fires and misses 3 feet to the right. The math teacher jumps up and Screams, "we got him!".
Why do mathematicians confuse Halloween and Christmas?
Because OCT 31 = DEC 25.
This might be the nerdiest joke I know. Here's a bonus mathematical nerd joke:
Why don't riddles work in octal notation?
Because seven ten eleven.
Which mathematical phenomenon only uses imaginary numbers?
The Fib-Bonacci Sequence.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
All the mathematical functions are having a party
The polynomials are dancing, the square root function is drinking, yet the exponential function remains to the side.
so the inverse function asks what's wrong.
To which the exponential function responds: whether I integrate or not, nothing will change, now leave.
(courtesy of my physics teacher, I translated from French so might s**..., don't gimme too much flak)
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A Mathematician, and Physicist, and an Engineer
are asked to find the volume of a red rubber ball.
The mathematician knows that the volume of a sphere has been mathematically determined so they measures the radius and puts it into the proper formula.
The physicist knows that Archimedes discovered how to determine the volume of an object so they submerge it in water and record the change in water level.
The Engineer finds the number on the ball then pulls out their book of red rubber b**... and finds its specifications.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
We all know that Barney the Dinosaur is a LOVABLE PURPLE DINOSAUR.
In ancient Rome, there was no letter U, so they used a V instead, making Barney a LOVABLE PVRPLE DINOSAVR.
Now eliminate all the letters that are not Roman numerals. We are left with LVL VL DIV.
Next, let's refresh your brain. I=1, V=5, L=50, D=500.
When we add it all up, we get 50+5+50+5+50+500+1+5=6**....
And there you have it. Mathematical proof that Barney the Dinosaur is Satan.
My Brother Said Science Is Better Than Mathematics
I Said "Prove It"
What is the difference between a maths professor and a physics professor?
You can get mathematical with the maths professor.
A man won at the Mathematical Olympiad.
When he wanted to claim his prize, the jury made him an offer: "You have two options: Either you get 10,000$ cash right here, right now plus a brand new car. That's your first option!
Or we take a chess board, put one cent on the first field, two cents on the second field and so on and so fo..." "OPTION 2, I WANT OPTION 2!" the awardee exclaimed.
And then he left with 0.96$.
