Hilarious Fun Mathematics Jokes to Bring Joy & Laughter with Friends
Why is an achievement in Mathematics greater than an achievement in any of the other sciences?
Because for an achievement in math, you receive Abel whereas for science, you receive Nobel.
I found this new social media channel of a cute girl in revealing outfit that teaches elementary mathematics
Her account is "The THOT that Counts"
Little Jewish boy that can't understand math
Two Jewish parents are very concerned that their little boy is failing at mathematics. They exhaust every method of tutoring and schooling, until they reach their last resort.... Catholic School.
The very next day little Elisha comes home from school, runs to his room, and began studying. To the parents astonishment when his reportcard arrives he has an A in math!!
They asked Elisha what the difference was and he replied," When I saw what they did to the poor guy on the plus sign I knew they were serious!!"
A Greek and an Italian are arguing over whose culture is superior.
he Greek says "We built the Parthenon." the Italian says "We build the Colosseum." The Greek says "We came up with advanced Mathematics" The Italian says "We made the Roman Empire." The Greek is getting frustrated finally realizes how he can win the argument. "We invented s**...." The Italian replies "True, true, I can't argue with that, but we thought of having it with women."
Yokel Logic
Two country types are sitting outside a university, when a man comes out. One of them stands up, and goes over to talk to this man.
He says ''Ello there, son. You look loike one of them clever university toipes. What is it that you're studyin' then?'
The man, slightly stunned, says, 'I study Mathematics, Physics and Logic'
The country dude says 'Oo- arr, logic, what's that then?'
The Student replies, 'I could teach you it.'
'Okay then.'
'So', says the student, 'you look like a country type. I'm going to guess that you have a tractor?'
'Yep'
'And if you have a tractor, then surely you have... a yard, to keep your tractor in?'
'Arr'
'So in turn, surely you have a house next to that yard?'
'Wow, incredible, go on!'
'And taking care of that big house must be awfully hard on your own- so you must have a wife to help out with it?'
'Moi god...'
'And because you live with your wife, I'm going to conclude that you're a heterosexual!'
'Oh lord...' says the farmer. 'How did you know all that?'
'That's logic, my friend', says the student, and he walks off with a cheerful wave.
The yokel runs over to his friend to show off his newfound learnings.
''Ere, Oi've got somethin' to show ya! It's called 'Logic'', he shouts.
'Alroight then', says the friend
'So, do you have a tract'r?'
'No'
'Then you're Gay!'
One of these things is not like the other
Which one of these things is not like the other?
-A large all dressed pizza & bread sticks
-A degree in neuroscience
-A degree in theoretical mathematics
-A degree in engineering
Answer: A degree theoretical mathematics.
Reasoning: All of these can feed a family of four except for the answer
A criminal said: "You'll never catch me!"
He was bad at mathematics.
(real news) Chinese archaeologists have discovered the country's oldest mathematics document, written on bamboo more than 2,200 years ago!
Even more amazing - one of the answers is wrong.
My PhD student claims to have made a breakthrough in hyperbolic mathematics
Turns out he was just exaggerating
So me and the girl i have a crush on were practicing math problems..
After a while she looks at me and says "Do you want to take this to the next level?". I had been waiting for this moment forever, hence i said yes. She then proceeded to take out the book on Advanced Mathematics.
When a mathematics student graduates
do they get a degree, or a radian?
You can explore mathematics radicals reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean mathematics theorem dad jokes. There are also mathematics puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.
TIL The U.S is #18 in Mathematics worldwide.
At least we're in the top 10.
My grandpa was 1/5th of the way through his 58th mathematics degree when he died...
He was pretty rad.
Job Interview
"It says in your CV that you are quick at mathematics. What is 17x19?"
"36"
"That's not even close!"
"But it was quick!"
A 13 year old boy has difficulty with mathematics, failing in public school.
His parents were not religious but after a friend's suggestion they felt a private Catholic school may be more effective. His grades began to rise dramatically after this switch. Asked what has helped him so much, he responded
"When I saw the guy nailed to the plus sign I knew they meant business!"
It's important for a dentist to know advanced mathematics
They often have to deal with calculus on the job.
Mathematics of Love
Add a girl to your bed
Subtract her clothes
Divide her legs
and keep Multiplying
You guys hear about that mathematics student who was flunking?
He only understood his field to a degree and decided to look at it from a new angle.
Why can't Trump supporters ever get into higher levels of mathematics?
Cause they can't grasp the concept of integration.
(all credits to my friend if he reads it here but didn't post it himself!)
Philosophy is a game with objectives but no rules.
Mathematics is a game with rules but no objectives.
In the house of mathematics, where are the tautologies found?
They're kept in the Axiom Attic.
Interviewer: You said you are quick in mathematics, could you tell me what is a two hundred and fifty times eighty whole divided by sixty nine?
Man: Six thousand eight hundred and fourty five.
Interviewer: Hm... that's not the right answer...
Man: But i'm quick.
what is a feminists favorite branch of mathematics?
Triggernometry
What are feminists best at in mathematics?
TRIGGER-nometry
I like my men like I like mathematics.
Hard.
What comes after sextillion?
Babytillion!
(Creds: my math professor who has her doctorate in mathematics)
A lawyer was confused and hassled with mathematics of a case...
... So he asked his secretary:
"If I give you USD 3 million less 17.5%, how much would you take off?"
Secretary: "Everything Sir! Dress, Underwear, Everything."
An infinite number of mathematics walk into a bar...
The bartender asked what they want. The first says a pint, the next says half a pint, next says a 1/4th a pint, next says an 1/8th a pint and so on until the bartender gets tired of hearing what they want. He pours two pints and says "Y'all need to learn your limits."
Over 75% of people find Mathematics easy!
I don't believe it! Guess I'm with the rest 15%
I taught my cat mathematics.
I asked her "What's three minus three?"
She said nothing.
Which actor is known for his brilliance at mathematics?
Add'em Sandler
Logan in mathematics...
loga+logn = logan
How can you tell if you going crazy?
Because puns about mathematics are usually the first sine of madness
The Physics department in a university submits a request for an expensive piece of equipment
The university president is not pleased. "You people in the Physics Department always ask for money. You always need costly technologies. Why can't you be more like the Mathematics department? All they need is paper, pens, and trash cans. Or even better, like the Philosophy department, they need only paper and pens."
I once knew a Mathematics Professor...
She was a cute, s**... teacher. I called her Miss CosnΟ and man, did she have curves!
Why didn't set theory become a branch of mathematics until the mid 1800's?
Before then, the only legal union was between man and woman.
I don't think I am
A horse walks into a bar and the bartender asks, why the long face? The horse morosely replies, my wife wants a divorce, she says I'm an alcoholic. The bartender asks if he is, and the horse answers, I don't think I am and promptly vanishes from existence. Now this is funny because it is a play on the phrase 'I think therefore I am' but to explain this before hand would be to put Descartes before the horse. (Joke from my mathematics professor)
Mathematics is 90% common sense,
the other half is intelligence.
My mathematics teacher was useless
She always went off on tangents
How do you have s**... with a female mathematics teacher?
Subtract her clothes, divide her legs, square root her and she'll multiply.
I feel severely let down by two people in my life.
My father, my mother, and my mathematics teacher.
did you hear about the mathematics w**... who was afraid of negative numbers?
his phobia was so bad that he will stop at nothing to avoid them.
dedicated to my special friend blader2601.
Make the little things count.
Teach dwarfs Mathematics
Unreal numbers are the easiest part of advanced mathematics.
The struggle is real.
Being an engineer is tough
It really felt good, when I had made mathematics my 'x'.
I thought I had finally been set free from all of her problems.
But now Engineering fuchs me everyday.
I miss math now, really hope she can help me once again.
(If you're reading this, math, please come back to me.
I beg you)
At school, a teacher is teaching little kids Mathematics.
At school, a teacher is teaching little kids Mathematics. She says: "Does anybody of you already know how to count? For example you, what's your name?"
"My name is George Lucas. Yes, I know how to count."
"Please show me."
"Four, five, six, one two, three."
The Greatest s**... Culture . . .
A Greek and an Italian were talking one day, discussing who had the superior culture.
Over coffee, the Greek says, "Well, we built the Parthenon."
The Italian replies, "We built the Coliseum.
The Greek retorts, "We Greeks gave birth to mathematics."
The Italian, nodding, says, "But we built the Roman Empire ".
And so on and so on until the Greek comes up with what he thinks will end the discussion.
With a flourish of finality he says, "We invented s**...!"
The Italian replies, "That may be true, but it was the Italians who included women."
Most puns make me feel numb
Except mathematics jokes. They make me feel number.
Average joke
3 teachers, Science, Auto shop, and Mathematics, go hunting together over their winter vacation. They come across an enormous 6 point buck. The science teacher who saw it first takes aim. He fires and misses by 3 feet to left. The auto shop teacher shoulders him asside and says, " this is how you do it!". He fires and misses 3 feet to the right. The math teacher jumps up and Screams, "we got him!".
Most puns make me feel numb. But mathematics puns make me feel....
........number
I'm fine with most parts of mathematics.
But geometry is where I draw the line
A Pure Mathematics degree is uselessβ¦
I want a Pure Mathematics radian.
Mike Tyson starts a club to dispute the fundamental rules of mathematics
He names it: The Math Debate Club
There was a lot of confusion in their first meeting.
Studying History makes you numb
but studying Mathematics makes you number.
An Engineer, a physicist, and a mathematician enter a bar
Engineer: My good sirs, without engineers people would still be living in huts
Physicist: But alas my good sir, engineering is simply applied physics
Mathematician: But alas my good sir, physics is simply applied mathematics
"hearty laughter"
Philosopher: But alas my good sirs, mathematics is only applied philosophy
Mathematician: shut up and get us our d**... drinks
My Brother Said Science Is Better Than Mathematics
I Said "Prove It"
