Following is our collection of **funny Mathematicians jokes**. There are some mathematicians cosecant jokes no one knows (*to tell your friends*) and to make you laugh out loud.

Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these **mathematicians mathematician physicist engineer puns** funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

The first one orders a beer, the second one orders half a beer, the third one orders a quarter, and the fourth one orders one eighth of a beer. The bartender stops them, pours two beers and says,"you guys should know your limits."

Natural logs.

The first one orders a beer. The second one orders half a beer. The third one orders a fourth of a beer. The bartender stops them, pours two beers and says, "You're all a bunch of idiots."

An infinite number of mathematicians walk into a bar. The first one tells the bartender he wants a beer. The second one orders half a beer. The third one orders a fourth of a beer. The bartender puts two beers on the bar and says You guys need to learn your limits.

They know their limits.

The first one orders a beer, the second one orders a half a beer, the third orders a quarter of a beer, and this trend continues on for some time. After a while, the bartender gets fed up and hands them 2 beers, shakes his head and says, "You mathematicians just don't know your limits."

The first says, "I'll have a beer." The second says, "I'll have half a beer." The third says, "I'll have a quarter of a beer."

The bartender pulls out just two beers.

The mathematicians ask, "That's all you're giving us?"

The bartender says, "Come on guys. Know your limits."

A husband and wife are mathematicians. Husband asks the wife if she needs anything from the store. She looks in the fridge and says she needs eggs.

"How many?" he asks standing right next to her.

She yells, "4!".

He wonders for a moment why she yelled, figures it out and comes back with two dozen.

Because they're always trying to find the x.

They don't know y, either.

Because they got sin and cos to give them a tan.

The first mathematician orders a pint. The second orders half a pint. The third orders a quarter, the fourth orders an eighth, and the fifth orders a sixteenth. The sixth mathematician is about to speak up when the bartender interrupts him and puts two pints on the bar, saying "You guys don't know your limits."

You can explore mathematicians scientists reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean mathematicians javascript dad jokes. There are also mathematicians puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.

First asks for a beer, second asks for half a beer, third asks for a quarter of a beer...

Barmen says "Got it, no need to continue" and proceeds to ring up two beers.

As they are out hunting, they see a bird. The numerical analyst fires, but misses to the left. The applied mathematician fires and misses to the right. The statistician shouts out, "We hit it!"

The first asks, "1 beer please!"

The second asks, "1/2 beer please!"

The third asks, "1/4 beer please!"

The fourth asks, "1/8 beer please!"

And so on. Eventually, the bar tender gets very angry, and slams 2 beers on the counter yelling,

"You mathematicians just don't know your limits!"

Three doctors are discussing which types of patients they prefer. Doctor Watson says, ''I prefer librarians. All their organs are alphabetized.'' Doctor Fitzpatrick says, ''I prefer mathematicians. All their organs are numbered.'' Doctor Ahn says, ''I prefer lawyers. They're gutless, heartless, brainless, spineless, and their heads and rear-ends are interchangeable.''

The first mathematician orders a beer. The second mathematician orders half a beer. The third mathematician orders a quarter of a beer. The fourth mathematician orders an eighth of a beer. Before the next one can speak, the rather annoyed bartender slams two beers down on the bar and says, "You guys really need to learn your limits!"

You just gotta apply yourself.

An infinite number of mathematicians walk into a bar. The first orders a pint, the second a half a pint, the third 1/4 pint, the fourth 1/8... the bartender gets impatient, gives the whole group 2 pints and says "you guys dont know your limits..."

An engineer, a physicist and a mathematicians have to build a fence around a flock of sheep, using as little material as possible. The engineer forms the flock into a circular shape and constructs a fence around it. The physicist builds a fence with an infinite diameter and pulls it together until it fits around the flock. The mathematicians thinks for a while, then builds a fence around himself and defines himself as being outside.

Aftermath

If I've told you n times, I've told you n+1 times …

They prefer radians.

A Greek and Italian were sitting down one day debating who had the superior culture.

The Greek says, "We have the Parthenon"

The Italian says, "We have the Colosseum"

The Greek says "We had great Mathematicians"

The Italian says "We had the Roman Empire" and so on and so on and

Then Greek Says: "We invented sex" The Italian says:"That is true, but it was the Italians who introduced it to women"

First one says give me half a pint. Second one says a quarter, third says an eighth. The bartender puts down one pint and says, you people need to know your limits.

They're always plotting against it.

The first orders 1 beer. The second orders 1/2 beer. The third orders 1/4 beer. The next orders 1/8 beer. Visibly frustrated the bartender slams 2 beers on the table and says "Guys, you need to learn your limits!"

The first mathematician asks for a beer.

The second asks for a half a beer.

The third asks for a quarter of a beer and so on with the consecutive mathematicians having half the amount of beer as the mathematician before him.

The bartender says: "I'll just pour you 2 beers, you gotta know your limits!"

The first says, "I'll have a beer."

The second says, "I'll have one half of a beer."

The third says, "I'll have one fourth of a beer."

Frustrated, the bartender pulls out two bottles and says, "You guys should know your limits."

Natural Logs

Just though of this sitting in class, please don't hurt me

An infinite number of mathematicians walk into a bar. The first one walks up and orders a beer, the second orders half a beer, the third one wants 1/4 of a beer, and the next wants just 1/8th. The bartender sees where this is going, and stops them before anyone else can order.

The bartender pours two beers, hands them over, and says "You guys should really know your limits".

For them, division and multiplication are the same thing.

The first says, I'll have a beer. The second says, I'll have half a beer. The third says, I'll have a quarter of a beer. Before anyone else can speak, the barman fills up exactly two glasses of beer and serves them. Come on, now, he says to the group, You guys have got to learn your limits.

Thanks for nothing.

Because to them dividing and multiplying are the same

But I think they're pretty good at integrating

The first mathematician orders a pint of beer. The second mathematician orders a half. The third, a quarter pint. There is an infinite line up of Mathematicians.

The bartender fills up two pints and slides it over to the Mathematicians.

What's the difference between a physicist and mathematician?

There's a pot of water on the table and both the physicist and mathematician are asked to boil it. The physicist picks it up, puts it on the range, and lights the burner. The mathematicians picked it up, puts it on the range, and lights the burner.

Next the pot is placed on the floor with the same instructions. The physicist once again picks it up, places it on the range, and lights the burner. The mathematician picks it up and puts it on the table, thus reducing it to a problem that's already been solved.

An infinite number of mathematicians walk into a bar. The first one orders a pint, the second orders half a pint, the third orders a quarter pint. The bartender interrupts them, You guys need to learn your limits. Two pints, coming right up!

But mathematicians are the only ones who count

Some engineers are trying to measure the height of a flagpole.

They only have a measuring tape, and they have not been able to slide the tape up the pole.

A mathematician asks what they are doing, and they explain.

The solution is easy, she says. She pulls the pole out of the ground, lays it down, and measures it.

After she leaves, one of the engineers says,

That is so typical! We tell a mathematician we need the height – and she gives us the length!

The punchline is trivial and is left as an exercise to the reader

The bartender hands them two glasses of beer and says, "You guys need to know your limits."

Prism.

...They drink and derive.

*Baddum tss*

Thank you, thank you! I'll see myself out.

But for mathematicians, it's just right.

Multi-ply

The engineer forms the flock into a circular shape and constructs a fence around it.

The physicist builds a fence with an infinite diameter and pulls it together until it fits around the flock.

The mathematicians thinks for a while, then builds a fence around himself and defines himself as being outside.

An infinite number of mathematicians walk into a bar.

The first one asks for a pint. The second asks for half a pint. The third asks for a quarter pint. and so on.

The bartender stops them and pours 2 pints and says "Know your limits"

The first one orders a beer.

The second one orders half a beer.

The third one orders a quarter of a beer.

The fourth one orders an eighth of a beer.

At this point, the bartender has enough, poors the mathematicians two beers and says: "There you go, split them yourselves."

The first orders a pint. The second orders a half, the third a quarter and so on. The bartender pours 2 pints and says, Figure it out yourselves.

An infinite number of mathematicians walk into a bar. The first one orders a beer. The second

one orders half a beer. The third one orders

a fourth of a beer. The bartender stops them,

pours two beers and says, "You guys should

know your limits."

The bartender asks, "what can I get you guys?"

The first mathematician replies, "I'll have a beer."

The second mathematician replies, "I'll have a half of a beer."

The third replies, "I'll have a fourth of a beer."

The fourth replies, "I'll have an eighth of a beer."

And so on...

The bartender returns with two beers. Outraged, one mathematician demands to the bartender, "how do you expect us to all get drunk off of two beers!"

The bartender replies, "you guys should really know your limits!"

The first orders a mug, the second a half, the third a quarter, and so on. The bartender pours them 2 whole mugs and says, "sort it out yourselves."

Because they can work anything out with a pencil.

They want to see the geome-tree of it

They can work out any problem with a pencil

The first orders a pint of beer. The second half a pint, the third a quarter ad infinitum. The bartender just pours two pints and says "sort it out yourselves."

They both keep searching for 'x'

The bartender says: "That is an infinite amount of beer. You guys need to know your limits!"

Because even half a slice is pie over ate

If things get hard they can always work it out with a pencil

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the mathematicians equation jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working mathematicians engineer and mathematician piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.