Mathematician Physicist Engineer Jokes
40 mathematician physicist engineer jokes and hilarious mathematician physicist engineer puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about mathematician physicist engineer that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Funniest Mathematician Physicist Engineer Short Jokes
Short mathematician physicist engineer jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The mathematician physicist engineer humour may include short engineer mathematician jokes also.
- What's 2 x 2? Mathematician : 4
Physicist : 4.0
Statistician : 4 with an error of 0.1 either way
Engineer : about 4 but I'll say 6 to be on the safe side.
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Fun-Filled Mathematician Physicist Engineer Jokes to Make You and Your Friends Chuckle & Giggle
What funny jokes about mathematician physicist engineer you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean mathematician jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make mathematician physicist engineer pranks.
An engineer and a physicist are in a hot-air balloon.
After a few hours they lose track of where they are and descend to get directions.
They yell to a jogger, "Hey, can you tell us where we're at?"
After a few moments the jogger responds, "You're in a hot-air balloon."
The engineer says, "You must be a mathematician."
The jogger, shocked, responds, "yeah, how did you know I was a mathematician?"
"Because, it took you far too long to come up with your answer, it was 100% correct, and it was completely useless."
An engineer, a mathematician, and a physicist.
An engineer, a mathematician, and a physicist are all asked the same question: If a piece of metal is 2 ft away from a car and is moved halfway there once a second (it moves 1 ft, then .5 ft, then .25 ft...), how long will it take for the metal to touch the car? The physicist says never. The mathematician says never. The engineer says in about a minute, it'll be close enough for all practical applications.
An engineer, a physicist, and a mathematician are trying to set up a fenced-in area for some sheep...
but they have a limited amount of building material. The engineer gets up first and makes a square fence with the material, reasoning that it's a pretty good working solution. "No no," says the physicist, "there's a better way." He takes the fence and makes a circular pen, showing how it encompasses the maximum possible space with the given material.
Then the mathematician speaks up: "No, no, there's an even better way." To the others' amusement he proceeds to construct a little tiny fence around himself, then declares:
"I define myself to be on the outside."
Conjecture: All odd numbers are prime.
Mathematician's Proof:
3 is prime. 5 is prime. 7 is prime. By induction, all odd numbers are prime.
Physicist's Proof:
3 is prime. 5 is prime. 7 is prime. 9 is experimental error. 11 is prime. 13 is prime ...
Engineer's Proof:
3 is prime. 5 is prime. 7 is prime. 9 is prime. 11 is prime. 13 is prime ...
Computer Scientists's Proof:
3 is prime. 3 is prime. 3 is prime. 3 is prime...
Engineer, Physicist and Mathematician
An engineer, a physicist, and a mathematician are sleeping in their respective hotel rooms when a problem with the hotel's electrical system causes sparks to fly from the sockets and catch fire to the wastepaper basket.
The engineer wakes up from the alarm, sees what is going on and runs to the bathroom. He fills a bucket with water, which he throws onto the wastepaper basket. Relieved that the fire is out, he goes back to bed.
The physicist wakes up from the alarm and sees what is going on. He grabs a pad of paper and a pencil, and works out how much water he will need to put out the fire. He then goes to the bathroom and fills a bucket with the precise amount of water he needs (accounting for measurement error), and proceeds to put out the fire. He then goes back to bed.
The mathematician wakes up from the alarm and sees what is going on. He grabs a pad of paper and a pencil, and works out how much water he will need to put out the fire.
"Aha! A solution exists!" And he goes back to bed.
*Alternate ending*
Later that night the hotel's electrical system fails again, causing sparks to fly from the sockets and catch fire to the bed sheets. The mathematician wakes up, considers the fire, and then takes the still-burning sheets and puts them in the wastepaper basket.
"Aha! I've reduced the problem to a previously-solved form!" And he goes back to bed.
An engineer, physicist and mathematician are in an interview (with no accountants) ...
An engineer, a physicist and a mathematician are in an interview.
The engineer is asked, 'What is 2+2?'. The engineer instantly pulls out his calculator, but since its floating point processor firmware has a bug, 2+2 gives him 3.999 which he tells the panel.
The physicist is asked the same question, and he replies 'Well, using a back of the envelope calculation, 2 is order of magnitude 1. Adding two numbers of magnitude 1, will result in a number less than order of magnitude 2. Therefore 2 + 2 is less than 100'.
They finally pose the problem to the mathematician, and he pulls out this notebook and starts scribbling. 30 minutes later, he looks up the panel and triumphantly declares, 'It converges!!!'
A physicist, engineer, and a mathematician are in a hotel...
A physicist, engineer, and a mathematician are in a hotel in 3 separate rooms. All 3 of their waste paper baskets catch on fire and wake them up from their humble slumber.
The physicist sees the fire and thinks quickly! He calculates the amount of water needed to put out the fire, and douses it with water. The fire goes out and he goes back to bed.
The engineer sees the fire and thinks quickly! He draws, designs, and constructs a larger bucket to suffocate the fire. The fire goes out and he goes back to bed.
The mathematician sees the fire and thinks quickly! He gets out a pad of paper and a pen and starts calculating. After a few minutes he yells "ahah! This problem has a solution!" And goes back to bed.
The difference between the engineer, the physicist, and the mathematician..
The engineer believes equations approximate reality..
The physicist believes reality approximates equations..
The mathematician has no idea what the other two are talking about.
Kudos if you get the joke
A physicist, an engineer, and a mathematician each have their respective problem-solving skills tested by a group of researchers. They are each placed in separate locked 4x4 cells with walls made of cement and given a can of food. They are told to open the cans and get the food out using no other outside materials. The researchers leave the three to their own devices, then come back after an hour.
The physicist is first to be checked on. The researchers find him mouthing out complicated formulas in his head. After a moment, he swings his can into a wall with the proper amount of force and at the correct angle to split the can open.
The engineer is next. His cell is covered in dents, and he is eating from the remnants of a banged-up and broken can when the researchers find him.
Finally, the researchers visit the mathematician's cell. They find him huddled in a corner, cradling the can in his arms, and muttering, "Assume a can opener, assume a can opener, assume a can opener..."
The Engineer and the Red Rubber Ball
A mathematician, a physicist, and an engineer were all given a red rubber ball and told to find the volume.
The mathematician carefully measured the diameter and evaluated a triple integral.
The physicist filled a beaker with water, put the ball in the water, and measured the total displacement.
The engineer looked up the model and serial numbers in his red-rubber-ball table.
An engineer, a physicist, and a mathematician are staying at a hotel.
The engineer wakes up and smells smoke. He goes out into the hallway and sees a fire, so he fills a trashcan from his room with water and douses the fire. He goes back to bed. Later, the physicist wakes up and smells smoke. He opens his door and sees a fire in the hall, for it has reignited. He finds a fire hose, and, after calculating velocity, distance, water pressure, trajectory, etc., he extinguishes the fire with the minimum amount of water and energy needed. Satisfied, he goes to bed. Even later, the mathematician wakes up to the smell of smoke. He goes into the hall and sees the fire and hose. He thinks for a moment, then exclaims, "Ah! A solution exists!", and then goes back to bed.
A physicist, an engineer, a mathematician, and a physicist were all staying at the same hotel...
One night, the physicist wakes up to see that his trash can is on fire. He quickly grabs a bucket of water and puts the fire out.
The engineer is also sleeping and wakes up to see that his trash can is on fire as well. He pulls out his calculator and calculates the exact amount of water necessary to put the fire out. He then proceeds to actually put the fire out.
The mathematician likewise wakes up to see his trash can on fire. He pulls out his calculator and calculates that water can be used to put fires out. He then returns to his bed.
The statistician continues setting trash cans on fire to get a larger sample size.
A physicist, an engineer, a mathematician, and a statistician were all staying at the same hotel.
One night, the physicist wakes up to see that his trash can is on fire. He quickly grabs a bucket of water and puts the fire out.
The engineer is also sleeping and wakes up to see that his trash can is on fire as well. He pulls out his calculator and calculates the exact amount of water necessary to put the fire out. He then proceeds to actually put the fire out.
The mathematician likewise wakes up to see his trash can on fire. He pulls out his calculator and calculates that water can be used to put fires out. He then returns to his bed.
The statistician continues setting trash cans on fire to get a larger sample size.
Lets make a circle!
One day a farmer called up an engineer, a physicist, and a mathematician and asked them to fence of the largest possible area with the least amount of fence.
The engineer made the fence in a circle and proclaimed that he had the most efficient design.
The physicist made a long, straight line and proclaimed "We can assume the length is infinite..." and pointed out that fencing off half of the Earth was certainly a more efficient way to do it.
The Mathematician just laughed at them. He built a tiny fence around himself and said..... "I declare myself to be on the outside."
A physicist, mathematician, and engineer go to target practice
The engineer is up first and hits 5 inches to the right of the bullseye. The physicist says, "No no no, you forgot to account for the curvature of the Earth and the wind." The physicist does his calculations, but misses 5 inches to the left of center. The mathematician yells: "BULLSEYE! Great job guys!!"
A mathematician, a physicist, and an engineer are riding a train in Scotland.
Looking out the window, the engineer sees something that catches her eye. Look, she says, it's a black sheep! It seems the sheep in Scotland are black.
The physicist shakes his head. Nonsense, he says. All we know is that there are some black sheep in Scotland.
The mathematician looks at his two friends, sighs, and with all earnestness, observes: All we can say is that there is at least one sheep in Scotland, one side of which is black.
A Physicist, an engineer, and a mathematician are all locked in separate burning buildings
The Physicist runs to a chalkboard, calculates exactly how much water he will need to put out the fire, runs and finds that amount, puts out the fire, and survives.
The engineer pulls out a calculater, calculates exactly how much water he will need to put out the fire, runs and finds 10 times that amount, puts out the fire, and survives.
The mathematician runs to a chalkbaord, calculates exactly how much water he will need to put out the fire, declares, "There IS a solution!", and then burns to death.
A mathematician, a physicist, and an engineer are asked "What is 1 + 1"?
The mathematician says "2"
The Physicist says "2, plus or minus 0.1"
The engineer says "Probably around 2, but let's say 3 to be on the safe side".
Most Intelligent But Funniest
An engineer, a physicist and a mathematicians have to build a fence around a flock of sheep, using as little material as possible. The engineer forms the flock into a circular shape and constructs a fence around it. The physicist builds a fence with an infinite diameter and pulls it together until it fits around the flock. The mathematicians thinks for a while, then builds a fence around himself and defines himself as being outside.
A physicist, a mathematician and an engineer...
...were each asked to establish the volume of a red rubber ball. The physicist immersed the ball in a beaker full of water and measured the volume of the displaced fluid. The mathematician measured the diameter and calculated a triple integral. The engineer looked it up in his Red Rubber Ball Volume Table.
A physicist, engineer, and mathematician are asked by a local farmer to build the smallest fence they possibly can to hold in all of his sheep.
The physicist builds a big fence and slowly reduces the size until he can't reduce the fence any longer.
The engineer measures each sheep, stacks them in a specific way, and then builds a fence around them.
The mathematician builds a small fence around himself, then defines himself to be outside the fence.
**Long** A mathematician, a physicist, and an engineer...
So, these three are in a hotel. The engineer is woken up in the middle of the night by a fire. He grabs an extinguisher, and puts out the fire, then goes back to sleep.
Later, the physicist is woken up for the same reason. He does some quick calculations, and dumps the precise amount of water onto the flames to extinguish them.
Finally, the mathematician is woken by the smell of smoke. He walks over to where the fire had been, and finds embers. He coaxes a fire out of them, then goes back to sleep, knowing he has reduced it to an already solved problem.
An engineer, a physicist, and a mathematician, are sleeping in a hotel...
The hotel catches on fire, so the engineer goes to the bathroom, fills up a couple buckets of water, and puts out the fire in his room then happily go back to sleep. The physicist calculates the center of the fire, measures out a teaspoon of water, and throws it in the center, putting out the fire and then happily goes to sleep. The mathematician wakes up, defines that there is a way to put out the fire, then happily goes to sleep.
A mathematician a physicist and an engineer...
A mathematician, a physicist, and an engineer were all given a cow and told to find the volume. The mathematician carefully measured the dimensions of the cow and evaluated a very complicated integral. The physicist filled a beaker with water, put the cow inside and measured the total displacement. The engineer looked at the cow and said, let's suppose the cow is a sphere.
A physicist, an engineer, and a mathematician are riding a train in Scottland
Suddenly, they spot a black sheep in the field.
The engineer says, "See! All sheep in Scottland are black!"
The physicist exclaims, "No! Some sheep in Scottland are black!"
The mathematician, disgusted, says, "No! In Scottland, there exists at least one sheep, at least one side of which is black, when seen from a running train!"
A physicist, an engineer and a mathematician are given the task to contain the largest amount of area with a limited amount of fence.
The physicist designs a square fence, showing that a square contains the most area.
The Engineer then designs a circular fence, showing that the area to circumference ratio is better than a square.
The mathematician think for a moment, then starts building a tiny fence around himself. When he's done, he says "I define myself to be the outside.
An engineer, a physicist and a mathematician see a black sheep while riding a train in England...
The engineer says: oh, there are black sheep in England
The physicist says: no... there is at least ONE black sheep in England
The mathematician says: no. In England there is at least ONE sheep of which at least ONE side of it is black
An engineer, a mathematician, and a physicist are asked to measure the volume of a pig.
The engineer answers: "we fill a pool to the brim with water, fully immerse the pig, collect the spilled water and measure its weight. The pig will have a volume of 1dm^3 per collected Kg."
The mathematician answers: "we freeze the pig, slice it and integrate the slices' areas to obtain a volume."
The physicist answers: "let P be a spherical, friction-less pig...
The mathematician awakens, and finds another fire in the hallway.
He looks out the door, then goes back to bed. The house ends up burning down, but the physicist and engineer manages to save the mathematician. When asked why he didn't put out the fire, he says: "I saw the fire, I saw the extinguisher, the solution was trivial."
A mathematician , a physicist and an engineer talk about numbers
Mathematician: *π* is the most beautiful number
Physicist: I like *e* most
Engineer: What a coincidence! 3 is my favorite number, too!
An engineer, a physicist and a mathematicians have to build a fence around a flock of sheep, using as little material as possible.
The engineer forms the flock into a circular shape and constructs a fence around it.
The physicist builds a fence with an infinite diameter and pulls it together until it fits around the flock.
The mathematicians thinks for a while, then builds a fence around himself and defines himself as being outside.
An engineer, a physicist, a mathematician, and a philosopher are at a coffee house.
The physicist says, "You know, engineering is just applied physics," and they all laugh. The mathematician says, "You know, physics is just applied math," and they all laugh again. Then the philosopher says, "Well, you know, math is just applied philosophy," and the engineer says, "Shut up and make our coffee."
A journalist tries to find out how different professions deals with basic math.
So he asks them a simple question: "How much is 1+1?"
The mechanical engineer quickly opens a handbook and say, the handbook says 2, let's make it 3 just in case.
The physicist starts scribbling and after 5 minutes say it's between 1.95 and 2.05 within 3 sigma confidence level.
The mathematician start writing formulas and within half an hour he announces he can prove that there is a solution.
The lawyer takes the journalist to the side and whispers, how much do you want it to be?
A mathematician, a physicist and an engineer are tasked with finding the volume of a rubber ball
The mathematician takes the ball, measures its diameter, then calculates the volume.
The physicist submerges the ball in water and measures the amount of water displaced.
The engineer twists and turns the ball, looking for the model number.
A mathematician, a physicist, and an engineer are asked "what is pi?"
The mathematician says "pi is the ratio of a circumference to its diameter".
The physicist says "pi is 3.1415"
The engineer says "it's about 3"
A mathematician, a physicist, and an engineer are asked to measure the volume of a basketball
The mathematician grabs a cord to measure its circumference and from there works out its volume.
The physicist pushes the basketball into a bucket of water and measures the water displacement.
The engineer looks it up on the catalog.
An engineer, a physicist, and a mathematician are asked to design a fence.
The fence is required to contain as much land as possible for the least amount of fence material.
The engineer says "easy, just make a circular fence"
The physicist says, "wait a second! If you build the fence across the equator you'll have an even higher area/fence ratio!"
The mathematician says "amateurs!". He gets up and builds a tiny fence around his feet and proclaims "I declare myself to be on the outside."
A Mathematician, and Physicist, and an Engineer
are asked to find the volume of a red rubber ball.
The mathematician knows that the volume of a sphere has been mathematically determined so they measures the radius and puts it into the proper formula.
The physicist knows that Archimedes discovered how to determine the volume of an object so they submerge it in water and record the change in water level.
The Engineer finds the number on the ball then pulls out their book of red rubber b**... and finds its specifications.
An Engineer, a physicist, and a mathematician enter a bar
Engineer: My good sirs, without engineers people would still be living in huts
Physicist: But alas my good sir, engineering is simply applied physics
Mathematician: But alas my good sir, physics is simply applied mathematics
"hearty laughter"
Philosopher: But alas my good sirs, mathematics is only applied philosophy
Mathematician: shut up and get us our d**... drinks