Math Teacher Jokes
121 math teacher jokes and hilarious math teacher puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about math teacher that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Funniest Math Teacher Short Jokes
Short math teacher jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The math teacher humour may include short maths teacher jokes also.
- I asked my maths teacher, "Will we ever use any of this algebra?" She said, "You won't, but some of the smart kids might."
- I just saw my math teacher lock himself in his office with a piece of graph paper. I think he must be plotting something.
- A dad joke my science teacher told me a long time ago: Why are bacteria so bad at math?
Because they multiply by dividing.
RIP Miss Henn. Miss her lots. - When I was in high school, my dad f*cked my teacher repeatedly for better grades in my math class. Thank god im homeschooled or that could have been wierd
- So I was in math class when the teacher asked me what comes after 69. Apparently, "I do." is not the correct answer.
- I found out what that math teacher with graph paper from yesterday's joke was plotting.... ...weapons of math instruction.
- I think my math teacher works for the CIA... He always wants to put radicals in isolation.
- My math teacher told me I would be stuck working at mcdonalds for the rest of my life Jokes on her, I'm lovin' it
- (My mother's proudest creation) What do you call it when you lobotomize terrorists? Simplifying Radicals.
Yes, she's a math teacher. - Why can't you bury a man living east of the Mississippi in a graveyard west of the Mississippi? He's still alive.
(Learned from my 6th grade math teacher Mr. Warren)
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Math Teacher One Liners
Which math teacher one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with math teacher? I can suggest the ones about geometry teacher and biology teacher.
- My math teacher said I was average... How mean.
- My math teacher used to call me average. How mean!
- My maths teacher never goes outside I can tell, cos there's no sin of his tan
- What is the average maths teacher like? Mean
- Why was the math teacher late for school? He took the rhombus
- My classmates think the math teacher is mean. I think he's just average.
- My math teacher called me average How mean is that ?
- My math teacher told me I was an average student. That was really mean of him.
- My math teacher told the whole class I'm average... she's mean
- What do you call a math teacher with an OnlyFans? The thot that counts
- What did the math teacher say when the parrot escaped? Polygon
- My math teacher keeps telling me to simplify my fractions I do it 48/14
- What did the constipated math teacher do? Worked it out with a pencil.
- What did the math teacher use to kill himself? A hypotenuse.
- Never trust math teachers who use graph paper They're always plotting something.
Cheerful Fun Math Teacher Jokes to Brighten Your Day with Humor and Joy
What funny jokes about math teacher you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean science teacher jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make math teacher pranks.
Little Johnny's teacher asks him, "If I have 5 cookies, and I give you 2, how many cookies do I have left?"
Little Johnny replies, "Zero, you're giving me more than just 3 cookies. I'm taking all 5 baby!"
The teacher just facepalms herself. "I can strongly suggest that you work on your math skills Johnny." the teacher suggests.
"Oh I know math, one man plus one girl, subtract a c**..., equals a baby!" Little Johnny says.
As an atheist I find tell my maths teacher I shouldn't have to solve exponential factors
because I don't believe in higher powers
Little Tommy gets asked to stay after class...
so little boy tommy isnt very good at math so his teacher kindly asks him to stay after class so she can help him.He agrees and listens to the teacher as she gives an example.She starts off by saying that if there are 10 birds on a telephone pole and you shoot one off, how many are left? he quickly answers "none". she says "no tommy, there would be 9". he then looks at her and says "thats impossible, obviously if you shoot one off, they would all fly away". she tells him that she likes the way he thinks. he follows up by saying "can i ask you a question miss, if there are 3 ladies holding a lollipop, 1 s**... it, 1 l**... it, and 1 biting it...which one is married? the teacher quickly replies with "the one s**... it". he looks at her and says "no, the one with the ring on her finger, **but** i like the way you think
What is a math teacher's favorite kind of toilet paper?
The kind that has multi ply's.
little Johnny
Was sitting in class doing maths problems when his teacher picked him to answer a question.
"Johnny, if there were five birds sitting on a fence and you shot one with your gun how many would be left?"
"None," replied Johnny, "'Cause the rest would fly away."
"Well, the answer is four," said the teacher, "But I like the way you are thinking."
Little Johnny says, "I have a question for you now; If there were three women eating ice cream cones in a shop: one was l**... her cone, the second was biting the cone, and the third was s**... the cone, which one is married?"
"Well," said the teacher nervously, "I guess the one s**... the cone?"
"No," said Little Johnny, "The one with the wedding ring on her finger, but I like the way you are thinking."
Finger l**... Good
Little Timmy was sitting in class doing math problems when his teacher picked him to answer a question, "Timmy, if there were five birds sitting on a fence and you shot one with your gun, how many would be left?" "None," replied Timmy, "cause the rest would fly away." "Well, the answer is four," said the teacher, "but I like the way you're thinking."
Little Timmy says, "I have a question for you. If there were three women eating ice cream cones in a shop, one was l**... her cone, the second was biting her cone and the third was s**... her cone, which one is married?"
"Well," said the teacher nervously, "I guess the one s**... the cone."
"No," said Little Timmy, "the one with the wedding ring on her finger, but I like the way you're thinking."
My Indian engineering teacher told us this today
Growing up in America, you've probably heard your parents say, "Eat your food, there are starving children in India." But I tell my children, "Do your math homework or an Indian child will eat your food."
The Answer Is Four (Teacher Joke)
Little Johnny was in class doing math problems when his teacher picked him to answer a question…
Johnny, if there were five birds sitting on a fence and you shot one with your gun, how many would be left?
None, replied Johnny. The rest would fly away.
Well, the answer is actually four, said the teacher. But I do like the way you're thinking.
Little Johnny quickly replies… Well, I have a question for you… Say you spot three women eating ice cream cones. One is l**... her cone, the second is biting her cone and the third is s**... her cone. Which one of these women is married?
Well, says the teacher nervously, I guess I'd say the one s**... the cone.
No, says Little Johnny. The one with the wedding ring on her finger is married. But I like the way you're thinking.
What do you call a math teacher who's really into b**...?
A denominatrix.
Saw this one in my maths class
Student: Sir I'm cold!
Teacher: Go and stand in the corner then.
Student: Why would I do that?
Teacher: Because it's 90 degrees over there.
A little Johnny...
One day in math class little Johnny's teacher asked him to look out the window, where three birds were sitting on a fence. She then asks "Johnny, if I shoot one of those birds how many are left?" Johnny replies "None, they would all have flown away when they heard the gun shot." The teacher smiles and says "The correct answer was two, but I like the way you think."
Johnny looks at the teacher and says "I have a question for you." "There are three women in an ice cream shop and they all have an ice cream cone, one is l**... it, one is biting it, and one is s**... it, which one is married?" The teach thinks about it a bit and says "The one s**... it." Johnny looks at her and say "The right answer was the one wearing the wedding ring, but I like the way you think."
$200
Little Johnny was in his maths class one day when the teacher said to him "If I gave you $200," the teacher began," and you gave $50 to Mary, $50 to Sally, $50 to Susan and $50 to Amy, what would you have?"
"An o**...," Johnny answered.
There was an International Job opening.
Two men applied, a Canadian man, and an American. After the test and the interview, they company decided to go with the Canadian man. The American with distraught asked why they decided to hire the Canadian and how he did in the interview and test. They said it was a very difficult decision because they both did equally well on the test and in the interview. The American was outraged. "THEN WHY DID YOU HIRE THE CANADIAN?!?." The manager then responded, "Well, you both did equally well in the interview, but the real problem was the test. You both got 9/10 on the test, but for question 10, the Canadian man put 'I don't know' and you put 'me neither.'"
Shout out to my Math Teacher for telling me this one.
A math teacher ask his students, "What is 5Q + 5Q?"
The class responds, "10Q."
The teacher responds, "You're welcome/"
John learning Math
Teacher was teaching math to 5 yr old John.
Teacher: What is 5 - 5?
John: *Keeps Quiet*
Teacher: If you have 5 burgers and I take 5 burgers from you, what will you be left with?
John: French Fries.
When your Dad is a math teacher you grow up with jokes like this...
Q: Why did the chicken cross the Mobius s**...?
A: To get to the same side!
Why are math teachers so unhappy?
Because they have a lot of problems.
What state do the most math teachers come from?
Mathachusits!
Did I ever tell you guys about the time I made it with my really hot math teacher?
couldn't really brag about it at the time 'cause I was home schooled...
My math teacher asked "should we trust a radical?"
I said no, they ain't safe around planes.
Did you hear about the math teacher...
...who used a ladder to solve a calculus problem written at the very top of his blackboard?
He really rose to the equation.
A teacher was giving a math lesson...
...and she asked one of her students, "If you had two dollars, and you asked your father for another, how many dollars would you have?"
The student replied, "Two dollars."
"Not quite," the teach responded. "Sounds like you don't know your addition.
"No," the student said, "you just don't know my father."
Math joke
My Calculus teacher told me:"Degrees are essentially useless in this class, we will use radians instead."
I replied:"Is that why you're teaching Calculus?"
My math teacher told me that 3/5 of the kids in my class don't understand fractions
Thankfully I'm a part of the other 3/5.
I get turned on by my Maths teacher...
... because she is the reciprocal of cosC
A math teacher went to school drunk...
He told the class that they were going to learn derivatives and then proceeded to pass out. He was removed from the school and fired immediately. The lesson?
Don't drink and derive
How can you tell you are in a math teacher's garden?
All the trees have square roots.
All of my friends are jealous when they find out I hooked up with my math teacher in high school
But honestly, being homeschooled s**....
Math class
Teacher asks Johnny:
"Imagine you have $200. And you give $50 to Jane, $50 to Suzi, $50 to Melissa. What would you have?"
"An o**...?"
Edited: names spelling, grammar.
A girl bangs a calculator on the desk to make it work
Math teacher: why are you making noise
Girl: my calculator isn't working so I'm b**... it to make it work
Math teacher: the calculator's gonna break, how would you like it if i banged you on the table
Whole class: HAHAHAHAHHAHAHA
whats a math teachers favorite soda
root beer
Breaking news: A teacher was arrested for carrying a protractor, a compass and a divider.
The cited reason for the arrest was: " He was carrying weapons of math instruction".
johnny in the math class
A teacher is teaching a class and she sees that Johnny isn't paying attention, so she asks him, "If there are three ducks sitting on a fence, and you shoot one, how many are left?" Johnny says, "None." The teacher asks, "Why?" Johnny says, "Because the shot scared them all off." The teacher says, "No, two, but I like how you're thinking." Johnny asks the teacher, "If you see three women walking out of an ice cream parlor, one is l**... her ice cream, one is s**... her ice cream, and one is biting her ice cream, which one is married?" The teacher says, "The one s**... her ice cream." Johnny says, "No, the one with the wedding ring, but I like how you're thinking!"
"Pi R Squared", said my math teacher.
"b**...!" I exclaimed. "Pie are round!"
Constipated math teacher
Did you hear about the constipated math teacher?
She got so frustrated, she sat down and worked it out with a pencil!
A math teacher asks a kindergartener: "Tommy, if you have a nickel in one pocket, and a quarter in the other, what do you have?"
"someone else's pants"
I think my old math teacher may have been a war criminal....
Every single time in class he would start talking about the 'ex-Axis'.
My grade school math teacher once asked us what 280 x 18 was
I kept shouting "7!" but apparently we weren't on the topic of factorials yet
The math teacher asked her class, "If I have 5 bottles in one hand and 6 in the other hand, what do I have?"
A student raised his hand and replied, "A drinking problem."
What sound does a drowning math teacher make?
log log log log log log log log
Where do math teachers go on vacation?
To Times Square.
Why should you worry about the math teacher holding graph paper?
She's definitely plotting something.
A math teacher was lecturing his students about double negatives and positives. He explained that a negative and a negative make a positive and that a positive and negative always make a negative. He also stated that two positives will never make a negative.
A student shouted sarcastically Yeah, right!
Best math teacher ever!
Mr. Johnson never makes us do any work, so all 25 of us are pitching in $6.17 to get him that cool new $50,000 corvette he wants. Thanks Mr. Johnson!
"If you had a dollar," quizzed the teacher, "and you asked your father for another dollar, how much money would you have?"
"One dollar." answered little Johnny.
"You don't know your basic math." said the teacher shaking her head, disappointed.
Little Johnny shook his head too, "You don't know my father"
Little Johnny was in math class
The class was learning subtraction with big numbers today, and the teacher decided to use money as the unit of measurement. Johnny hadn't been paying much attention, so the teacher called on him, "Little Johnny, if you start with $1000 and gave $150 to Lucy, $150 to Suzy and $200 to Brittany, what would you have?"
"Well I'd have $500 left over after a very expensive o**..., sir"
My Math teacher told me I'm terrible at telling Math jokes.
She was mode to me.
In class, my statistics teacher said, "The lottery is a tax on fools who can't do math."
I shrugged and said, "h**..., anybody can win the lottery."
My statistics teacher smirked, folded his arms and asked, "Do you even know the chances of a person winning the lottery?"
I said, "Yep. 100%. A person always wins."
Just been sacked from my dream job as a maths teacher. Been there since 2010
What a waste of 15 years!
A little boy was doing his math homework and practicing out loud, Two plus six, that son of a b**... is eight...
Three plus seven, that son of a b**... is ten."
Hearing what he was saying, his mother asked him what he was doing. He answered that he was doing his math homework.
"And this is how your teacher taught you to do it?" she asked her son to which he replied yes.
Infuriated, the mother asked the teacher what she is teaching in math class. The teacher said, "Right now, we are learning addition."
The mother asked if she was teaching them to say two plus two, that son of a b**... is four.
Laughing, the teacher replied, "What I taught them was, two plus two, THE SUM OF WHICH, is four."
My math teacher said she only teaches subtraction... because she wants to make a difference.
I failed math.
Johnny Joke
Tell me, Johnny said his teacher, if your father borrowed $100 and promises to pay $10 a week, how much will he owe in 7 weeks?
One hundred dollars, said Johnny.
I'm afraid you don't know your math very well, said the teacher.
I may not know my math, said Johnny, but I know my father.
We were learning trigonometry in math
I asked the teacher for help
He told me, "You must be soh cahnfused right now."
My friend next to me told him, "That was a toapnotch joke, sir."
A father meets his son's teacher.
« Sir, I'm afraid your son is a cheater », says the teacher.
« What? No ! What makes you say that? » responds the father
« Well, in the last math test, he had the same answers as his neighbour. »
« Yeah, that's a math test, duh. There's only one good answer, right? »
« Indeed, but in one of the questions, your son's neighbour answered "I don't know" .»
« So what ? »
« Well, your d**... son wrote "yeah, me neither". »
Maths teacher - Johnny, what's 2+2?
*Johnny counts on his fingers....*
Johnny - FOUR, miss?
Math teacher - yeah, that's right. But you are counting on your fingers...
Put your hands behind your back and tell me what's 3+3?
*Johnny fumbles around..*
Johnny - SIX, miss?
Math teacher - yes, that's right..but you're still counting on your fingers...
Put your hand in your pockets and tell me what's 5+5?
*Johnny fumbles around his pockets...*
Johnny - ELEVEN, Miss??
What did the teacher call the Asian Kid who was known for his precision in math?
Exact Lee.
The son of a b**...
Henry was doing maths homework, saying to himself...
"2+5, the son of a b**... is 7"
"3+6, the son of a b**... is 9"
His mother heard this & asked, " Henry ! What is this nonsense you are doing?"
"Oh Mom. Don't disturb. I am doing my maths homework"
Mom: "Is this how your teacher taught you?"
"Yes mom "
Infuriated mother picked up her cell phone and called the teacher:
"Are you teaching maths to children by saying... 2+2, the son of a b**... is 4?"
There was silence for a moment
Then the teacher started laughing :
"What I taught them was... 2+2 THE SUM OF WHICH IS 4."
***
When I was young, I brought a pie to the USA, a pie to Russia, and a pie to North Korea.
All because my maths teacher told me to carry pie to 3 dismal places.
Why do all math teachers wear glasses ?
Cuz it improves division
Math Teacher: Your homework looks like chicken scratch, but you have all the correct answers
Later at Home: I think she's on to us, mathmachicken