Math Jokes
166 math jokes and hilarious math puns to laugh out loud. Read science jokes about math that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Whether you're a math wizard or someone who struggles with number manipulation, we can all agree, a well-executed math joke adds an unexpected sprinkle of amusement, breaking away from the intimidating equations and complex geometry. Perfect for teachers seeking to add a hint of lightheartedness to their math classes, students looking to bond over shared numerical challenges, or simply anyone who appreciates the interconnection of numbers and humor, these math jokes are just the right fit.
Our collection tastefully leverages number plays, geometrical puns, and algebraic wit to create a space where education meets entertainment. So, let's dissect the fear out of the subject and multiply the fun element, unfolding the lighter side of math! After all, even Pythagoras would appreciate a good theorem-themed laugh, wouldn't he?
Quick Jump To
Funniest Math Short Jokes
Short math jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The math humour may include short geometry jokes also.
- Interviewer: "I heard you were extremely quick at math" Me: "yes, as a matter of fact I am"
Interviewer: "Whats 14x27"
Me: "49"
Interviewer: "that's not even close"
me: "yeah, but it was fast" - I asked my maths teacher, "Will we ever use any of this algebra?" She said, "You won't, but some of the smart kids might."
- I just saw my math teacher lock himself in his office with a piece of graph paper. I think he must be plotting something.
- A dad joke my science teacher told me a long time ago: Why are bacteria so bad at math?
Because they multiply by dividing.
RIP Miss Henn. Miss her lots. - Why did the mermaid rush out of her maths exam, red faced and embarrassed? Because her algaebra didn't hold up.
- How do you tell the difference between an English major, a Math major, and a programmer? Ask them what "!" is
- Lying in bed, my girlfriend turned to me and said "You're a lot like a math exam."
I replied "Why? Because I'm long and hard?"
She said, "No, I'm cheating on you with an Asian." - So I was in math class when the teacher asked me what comes after 69. Apparently, "I do." is not the correct answer.
- A new study shows that the majority of humans alive today are better at math than Albert Einstein. Because he's dead.
- I found out what that math teacher with graph paper from yesterday's joke was plotting.... ...weapons of math instruction.
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Math One Liners
Which math one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with math? I can suggest the ones about physics and statistics.
- If I got 50¢ for every math test I've failed I would have $7.20 by now
- How long are math snakes? 3.14 feet. Well, at least the πthon is
(I'm so sorry) - What math classes do gender studies majors take? Triggernometry
- The US has placed 18th for math… It sounds bad, I'm just glad we hit top ten.
- If al gore started a math rock band it should be called Algorhythm
- My math teacher said I was average... How mean.
- I heard 8/10 Americans are bad at math... Glad to know I'm in the other 2%.
- 85%of people in America don't know basic math. Thanks God I'm from the other 25%
- I can't remember how to write 1, 1000, 51, 6 and 500 in roman numeral I M LIVID
- Not all math puns are bad Just sum
- Why are Chinese kids so good at math? Because their dog doesn't eat their homework
- I started teaching Maths to midgets in my area. I'm making little things count.
- My maths teacher never goes outside I can tell, cos there's no sin of his tan
- What is the average maths teacher like? Mean
- Why is bacteria so bad at math? ...It multiplies by dividing!
Math Teacher Jokes
Here is a list of funny math teacher jokes and even better math teacher puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- I think my math teacher works for the CIA... He always wants to put radicals in isolation.
- Why was the math teacher late for school? He took the rhombus
- My math teacher told me I would be stuck working at McDonalds for the rest of my life Jokes on her, I'm lovin' it
- (My mother's proudest creation) What do you call it when you lobotomize terrorists? Simplifying Radicals.
Yes, she's a math teacher. - Why can't you bury a man living east of the Mississippi in a graveyard west of the Mississippi? He's still alive.
(Learned from my 6th grade math teacher Mr. Warren) - My classmates think the math teacher is mean. I think he's just average.
- Little Johny tells his teacher he is fast at math. LJ: Teacher, I am fast at math.
T: Ok. Then what is 2132 * 326?
LJ: 371
T: That's not even close
LJ: But it was fast - When I was young, I brought a pie to the USA, a pie to Russia, and a pie to North Korea. All because my maths teacher told me to carry pie to 3 dismal places.
- Why should you worry about the math teacher holding graph paper? She's definitely plotting something.
- My math teacher keeps telling me to simplify my fractions I do it 48/14
Math Problem Jokes
Here is a list of funny math problem jokes and even better math problem puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- What did the math text book say to the Shakespeare text book? Look, buddy, I've already got a lot of problems, and I really don't need any of your drama.
- If I had 50 cents for every time I got a math problem wrong... Id have $1.74
- I teach math I have problems.
- Why is a math book so sad? Because it's full of problems.
- I spent the whole night trying to solve a math problem... and then it dawned on me.
- Having a crush on someone is like solving a math problem. If you know you can't get it, all you can do is just stare at it.
- Why did ChatGPT's mom always ask it to solve math problems? Because it was good at calculating attention!
- I like my women how I like my math problems: Short, easy, and with no imaginary parts.
- What did one math book say to the other? Man, I have problems.
- My math text book got recalled We were told it had too many problems
Math Class Jokes
Here is a list of funny math class jokes and even better math class puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- What does a mermaid wear to a Maths class ? An algaebra.
Note: Not my original. I had read this somewhere a few years ago. Kudos to the original creator. - One time my math professor asked everyone in class to write a complex number on their forehead You could probably imagine the expressions on our faces.
- I taught my maths class how to use a protractor, with varying degrees of success.
- Why did a mathematician named his dog Cauchy? Let me test math awareness of this sub. This was told by a professor in a class.
Answer: because it left residue at every pole! - All of my classes make me numb... But math class makes me number.
- Friend: I got kicked out of math class today. Me: Why?
Friend: Turns out mouthwash doesn't come after 69. - What does a mermaid wear to math class An algae-bra
I'm not sorry - A student brings a slingshot to algebra class and fires gum at the professor It was a weapon of math disruption.
- Stalin would do well in my math class: He's got a lot of practice solving by elimination.
- Math joke My Calculus teacher told me:"Degrees are essentially useless in this class, we will use radians instead."
I replied:"Is that why you're teaching Calculus?"
Math Test Jokes
Here is a list of funny math test jokes and even better math test puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- What do winter solstice and a math test have in common? They both have you counting down to the end.
- Why did ChatGPT fail its math test? Because it kept giving AI-deas instead of answers.
- Why did the mule fail his math test? He was half-assing it
- I couldn't figure out the answer to 180˚/ π on my math test. So the girl next to me let me cheat off her.
It was rad. - Math is hard I just couldn't figure out the test problem log(na)^bo
It was just all bologna to me - Nostradamus calls his son and asks him: Why are you going to get a D in your math test, tomorrow?
- I once had a math test in an elevator... I was wrong on so many levels.
- What did the Pie say when he failed a math test? "How did I get these simple questions wrong! I am so irrational!"
- As soon as I entered the classroom I knew I was going to fail my maths test. So I did a 360 and left.
- Looking at my score, I think I failed the math test but it's hard to tell I'm pretty bad with numbers.
Laughter Math Jokes for Everyone for Fun and Frivolity
What funny jokes about math you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean phys jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make math pranks.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
r**... Logic Joke
Two r**..., Hunter and c**... decided that they weren't going anywhere in life and thought they should go to college to get ahead.
The first went in to see the counselor, who told him to take math, history, and logic.
"What's logic?" the c**... asked.
The counselor answered, "Let me give you an example. Do you own a w**... eater?"
"I sure do."
"Then I can assume, using logic, that you have a yard," replied the counselor.
"That's real good!" said c**....
The counselor continued, "Logic will also tell me that since you have a yard, you also own a house."
Impressed, c**... said, "Amazing!"
"And since you own a house, logic dictates that you have a wife."
"That's Betty Mae! This is incredible!"
c**... was catching on.
"Finally, since you have a wife, logically I can assume that you are heterosexual," said the counselor.
"You're absolutely right! Why that's the most fascinatin' thing I ever heard! I cain't wait to take that logic class!"
c**..., proud of the new world opening up to him, walked back into the hallway where Hunter was still waiting.
"So what classes are ya takin'?" asked Hunter.
"Math, history, and logic!" replied c**....
"What in tarnation is logic?" asked Hunter.
"Let me give you an example. Do ya own a w**... eater?" asked c**....
"No," Hunter replied.
"Then you're gay."
This is my dad's (a math major) favourite joke. What's the difference between an Engineer and a Mathematician?
A mathematician and an engineer are living together in a dorm when a fire starts in their room.
The mathematician wakes up and sees the fire. He quickly scans the room and sees a fire extinguisher and goes back to bed, happy knowing a solution exists.
The engineer wakes up, sees the fire and uses the extinguisher to put it out.
Since there have been a few math jokes lately...
Q1. What do you get if you cross a mountain lion with a mountain goat?
A1. ||mountain lion|| ||mountain goat|| sin θ
Q2. What do you get when you cross a mountain lion with a mountain climber?
A2. You can't - the mountain climber is a scalar.
The Mathematician and the Waiter
A mathematician and his partner go to a restaurant one Sunday lunchtime. The waiter comes over and takes the mathematician's order: -
'I'd like one chicken breast, 10 roast potatoes, 100 baby carrots and 1,000 peas, please' he requests.
'Why sir!' Exclaimed the waiter. 'That's an order of magnitude!'
Black sheep
A professor is sent to darkest Africa to live with a primitive tribe. He spends years with them, teaching them reading, writing, math and science.
One day the wife of the tribe's chief gives birth to a white child. The tribe is shocked, and the chief pulls the professor aside and says, "Look here! You're the only white man we've ever seen and this woman gives birth to a white child. It doesn't take a genius to figure out what happened!"
The professor replied, "No, Chief. You're mistaken. What you have here is a natural occurrence, what we in the civilized world call an albino! Look at that field over there. All of the sheep are white except for one black one. Nature does this on occasion."
The chief was silent for a moment, then said, "Tell you what. You don't say anything more about that sheep and I won't say anything more about that white child.
Why did Mike Tyson bring his calculator to church?
He was invited to thunday math.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
The Answer Is Four (Teacher Joke)
Little Johnny was in class doing math problems when his teacher picked him to answer a question…
Johnny, if there were five birds sitting on a fence and you shot one with your gun, how many would be left?
None, replied Johnny. The rest would fly away.
Well, the answer is actually four, said the teacher. But I do like the way you're thinking.
Little Johnny quickly replies… Well, I have a question for you… Say you spot three women eating ice cream cones. One is l**... her cone, the second is biting her cone and the third is s**... her cone. Which one of these women is married?
Well, says the teacher nervously, I guess I'd say the one s**... the cone.
No, says Little Johnny. The one with the wedding ring on her finger is married. But I like the way you're thinking.
In honor of 3/14... TIL the man who discovered Pi had his wife, Edith, leave him over his obsession with math.
Which just goes to show you, you can't have your Pi and Edith too.
Mathematician joke.
A chemist and a physicist are lost in an unknown area. They see someone and decide to ask for help. "Excuse me, but can you tell us where we are?", asks the chemist. "Sure, you are here", replied the man and leaves. "That man is a mathematician", the chemist tells the physicist, "how do you know?", "What he told us is true and makes sense, but it is useless."
Why do mathematicians have a hard time moving on in relationships?
Because they're always trying to find the x.
They don't know y, either.
When a mathematics student graduates
do they get a degree, or a radian?
A boy goes up to a girl and says "hey baby what's up"...
She says "I have a boyfriend", he says "I have a math test".
The girl says "What's that got to do with anything?", he replies "I thought we were just naming things we are going to cheat on."
Today, I made the little things count
by teaching math to midgets.....
Why do a lot of math nerds wear glasses?
It helps with division.
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This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
When your Dad is a math teacher you grow up with jokes like this...
Q: Why did the chicken cross the Mobius s**...?
A: To get to the same side!
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Why did Adolf h**... hate math class?
He didn't like showing his work; was only interested in the final solution.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Did I ever tell you guys about the time I made it with my really hot math teacher?
couldn't really brag about it at the time 'cause I was home schooled...
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This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Pakistani math problem.
Ahmed has 3 lunch boxes.
He gives one to Mohammed and another to Hassan. Calculate the radius of the e**....
A mathematician goes into an insane asylum
He approaches a group of gentleman and asks:
How much is 9 minus 3?
First guy answers: "Potato."
Nope. I'm afraid that is incorrect. Anybody else?
"Tuesday." Replies a second.
Wrong again.
"Six!" Answers a third.
Ah! Very good. Tell me how did you figure that out?
"Simple! I just multiplied Tuesday and Potato and subtracted 83.
Why are dwarfs so good at math?
Because it's the little things that count.
Math is like another language
2n+2n is 4n to me
Two students were complaining about math class.
"I hate math. Well, I really just hate numbers." "What do you mean?" "Take seventeen, for instance. I hate seventeen. There's nothing good about seventeen." "What's so bad about seventeen?" "Nothing really. It's just a prime example."
A teacher was giving a math lesson...
...and she asked one of her students, "If you had two dollars, and you asked your father for another, how many dollars would you have?"
The student replied, "Two dollars."
"Not quite," the teach responded. "Sounds like you don't know your addition.
"No," the student said, "you just don't know my father."
Math made simple:
If you have $20 and your wife has $15, she has $35.
I know a mathematician who can't afford lunch.
He can binomial.
A mathematician, a college professor, and a textbook author walk into a bar.
*[The punchline is left as an exercise for the reader.]*
A Mathematician is given a psychological test.
The first question asked "You see a burning house and a hose disconnected from a fire hydrant. What do you do?" After much deliberation, the Mathematician decides he would attach the hose to the hydrant. He is then asked "You see a non-burning house and a hose disconnected from a fire hydrant. What do you do?" to which the Mathematician immediately responds, "I'll set the house of fire to reduce this to a problem I've already solved."
A mathematician walks into a bar
A mathematician walks into a bar and asks the bartender for a beer.
The bartender says, "Sorry but we've run out of beer. We have only root beer for today."
"No problem", replies the mathematician. "Just serve me in a square glass."
Why don't mathematicians have degrees?
They prefer radians.
What does a mathematicion find in a forest?
A natural log.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A mathematician is afraid of flying
A mathematician is afraid of flying due to the small risk of a t**... attack. So, on every flight he takes a bomb with his hand luggage. "The probability of having a bomb on a plane is very low", he reason, "and the probability of having two bombs on the same plane is virtually zero."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Girls are like math problems...
If they are under 18, it's best you do them in your head.
Math jokes never work on me
I have trouble differentiating them. They aren't an integral part of my life and most of the time they just don't add up.
How does a mathematician solve their constipation?
They work it out with a pencil
I'm bad at math
So the equation 2n+2n is 4n to me.
I'm starting a business....
I'm gonna do math tutoring, but solely for midgets. I'm calling it Making The Little Things Count.
A mathematician couldn't remember if he had been with his girlfriend for 1 year or 2.
But he knew it was <3.
Math Puns
The first sine of madness.
What kind of math was Jesus the best at?
Cross multiplication
Yeah, it's a math joke
17: Hey 11, want to hear a joke?
11: Sure.
17: What did one prime number say to the other prime number?
11: I give up.
17: "I can't even."
11 and 17 together: HAHAHA!!!!!
2: I don't get it.
To the mathematicians who thought of the idea of zero...
Thanks for nothing.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
s**... is like math
I don't get it
Mathematics is 90% common sense,
the other half is intelligence.
Why couldn't the A level student date the IB student?
Because a + ib is complex.
(It's a math joke.)
Just saw a guy wearing t-shirt that read "truth+God=life"
Thank god I'm good at math. Truth = life - God
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A mathematician wasn't too confident about his appearance...
So he asked his friend to compare his good looks in terms he could understand.
After little thought his friend says: "You're about as good looking as you are bad looking."
"Well that's just mean."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
I don't mind the Chinese students in my Math class being really good at the subject
But I must say, it's pretty c**... of them to do the problems with their eyes closed.
Why are Asians so good at Math?
Their dogs can't eat their homework.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
So they say m**... regularly is supposed to increase how long you live by about a year and a half.
I have done the math, and figured out that I am, in fact, immortal.
I read somewhere that 1 out of 3 people cheat
I did the math, and there is a 5/9 chance that either my wife or my girlfriend is cheating on me.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Why do all german exchange students fail math?
Because nobody wants to see their final solution.
A mathematician came home and told his wife, sorry honey, but I'm leaving you for my 18 year old assistant. I'll be home in a few hours and I'd like for you to be gone.
He got back home and found a note that read, hi honey, I've left and decided to run off with the 18 year old pool boy. We are both 54 years old, and I think you'll figure out as a mathematician that 18 goes into 54 more times than 54 goes into 18.
Genie: you have three wishes
me: make math go away
Genie: ok, that one's on the house
me: yay, so I still get three wishes?
Genie: huh?
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A little boy was doing his math homework and practicing out loud, Two plus six, that son of a b**... is eight...
Three plus seven, that son of a b**... is ten."
Hearing what he was saying, his mother asked him what he was doing. He answered that he was doing his math homework.
"And this is how your teacher taught you to do it?" she asked her son to which he replied yes.
Infuriated, the mother asked the teacher what she is teaching in math class. The teacher said, "Right now, we are learning addition."
The mother asked if she was teaching them to say two plus two, that son of a b**... is four.
Laughing, the teacher replied, "What I taught them was, two plus two, THE SUM OF WHICH, is four."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A mathematician arrives at work on a bike
His colleague asks "Where did you get the bike?"
"That's really curious. Imagine, I was walking down the road, suddenly that young woman comes along on this bike, jumps off, takes her dress off 'til she's n**... and says "Take what you want". So I took the bike."
"Makes sense", his colleague says, "I don't think you'd look good in a dress".
Johnny Joke
Tell me, Johnny said his teacher, if your father borrowed $100 and promises to pay $10 a week, how much will he owe in 7 weeks?
One hundred dollars, said Johnny.
I'm afraid you don't know your math very well, said the teacher.
I may not know my math, said Johnny, but I know my father.
