Math Jokes
166 math jokes and hilarious math puns to laugh out loud. Read science jokes about math that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Whether you're a math wizard or someone who struggles with number manipulation, we can all agree, a well-executed math joke adds an unexpected sprinkle of amusement, breaking away from the intimidating equations and complex geometry. Perfect for teachers seeking to add a hint of lightheartedness to their math classes, students looking to bond over shared numerical challenges, or simply anyone who appreciates the interconnection of numbers and humor, these math jokes are just the right fit.
Our collection tastefully leverages number plays, geometrical puns, and algebraic wit to create a space where education meets entertainment. So, let's dissect the fear out of the subject and multiply the fun element, unfolding the lighter side of math! After all, even Pythagoras would appreciate a good theorem-themed laugh, wouldn't he?
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Funniest Math Short Jokes
Short math jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The math humour may include short geometry jokes also.
- Interviewer: "I heard you were extremely quick at math" Me: "yes, as a matter of fact I am"
Interviewer: "Whats 14x27"
Me: "49"
Interviewer: "that's not even close"
me: "yeah, but it was fast" - I asked my maths teacher, "Will we ever use any of this algebra?" She said, "You won't, but some of the smart kids might."
- I just saw my math teacher lock himself in his office with a piece of graph paper. I think he must be plotting something.
- A dad joke my science teacher told me a long time ago: Why are bacteria so bad at math?
Because they multiply by dividing.
RIP Miss Henn. Miss her lots. - Why did the mermaid rush out of her maths exam, red faced and embarrassed? Because her algaebra didn't hold up.
- How do you tell the difference between an English major, a Math major, and a programmer? Ask them what "!" is
- When I was in high school, my dad f*cked my teacher repeatedly for better grades in my math class. Thank god im homeschooled or that could have been wierd
- Did you hear about the math student that was afraid of negative numbers? He'll stop at nothing to avoid them.
- Lying in bed, my girlfriend turned to me and said "You're a lot like a math exam."
I replied "Why? Because I'm long and hard?"
She said, "No, I'm cheating on you with an Asian." - So I was in math class when the teacher asked me what comes after 69. Apparently, "I do." is not the correct answer.
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Math One Liners
Which math one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with math? I can suggest the ones about physics and statistics.
- If I got 50¢ for every math test I've failed I would have $7.20 by now
- How long are math snakes? 3.14 feet. Well, at least the πthon is
(I'm so sorry) - What math classes do gender studies majors take? Triggernometry
- If i got 50 cents for every failed math exam, I'd have $ 6.30 now
- The US has placed 18th for math… It sounds bad, I'm just glad we hit top ten.
- If al gore started a math rock band it should be called Algorhythm
- My math teacher said I was average... How mean.
- I heard 8/10 Americans are bad at math... Glad to know I'm in the other 2%.
- 85%of people in America don't know basic math. Thanks God I'm from the other 25%
- I can't remember how to write 1, 1000, 51, 6 and 500 in roman numeral I M LIVID
- Not all math puns are bad Just sum
- Why was math so easy in ancient Rome? x always equals 10
- Why are Chinese kids so good at math? Because their dog doesn't eat their homework
- I started teaching Maths to midgets in my area. I'm making little things count.
- My math teacher used to call me average. How mean!
Math Teacher Jokes
Here is a list of funny math teacher jokes and even better math teacher puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- I found out what that math teacher with graph paper from yesterday's joke was plotting.... ...weapons of math instruction.
- My maths teacher never goes outside I can tell, cos there's no sin of his tan
- What is the average maths teacher like? Mean
- I think my math teacher works for the CIA... He always wants to put radicals in isolation.
- Why was the math teacher late for school? He took the rhombus
- My math teacher told me I would be stuck working at McDonalds for the rest of my life Jokes on her, I'm lovin' it
- (My mother's proudest creation) What do you call it when you lobotomize terrorists? Simplifying Radicals.
Yes, she's a math teacher. - Why can't you bury a man living east of the Mississippi in a graveyard west of the Mississippi? He's still alive.
(Learned from my 6th grade math teacher Mr. Warren) - I saw my math teacher with a piece of graph paper, and a very strange look on his face yesterday I think he may be plotting something.
- Did I ever tell you guys about the time I made it with my really hot math teacher? couldn't really brag about it at the time 'cause I was home schooled...
Math Problem Jokes
Here is a list of funny math problem jokes and even better math problem puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- What did the math text book say to the Shakespeare text book? Look, buddy, I've already got a lot of problems, and I really don't need any of your drama.
- If I had 50 cents for every time I got a math problem wrong... Id have $1.74
- Girls are like math problems... If they are under 18, it's best you do them in your head.
- I teach math I have problems.
- Why is a math book so sad? Because it's full of problems.
- Why was the math book sad? Because it had too many problems.
- Dear Math, grow up and solve your own problems.
- Math Problem Q: If the the radius of a pizza is *z* and its width is *a*, what is the pizza's volume?
A: (pi)(z)(z)(a) - I spent the whole night trying to solve a math problem... and then it dawned on me.
- Having a crush on someone is like solving a math problem. If you know you can't get it, all you can do is just stare at it.
Math Class Jokes
Here is a list of funny math class jokes and even better math class puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- What did the mermaid forget to bring to math class? Her algae bra
- What does a mermaid wear to a Maths class ? An algaebra.
Note: Not my original. I had read this somewhere a few years ago. Kudos to the original creator. - One time my math professor asked everyone in class to write a complex number on their forehead You could probably imagine the expressions on our faces.
- I taught my maths class how to use a protractor, with varying degrees of success.
- Why did the atheist fail his math class? He didn't believe in a higher power.
- Why did a mathematician named his dog Cauchy? Let me test math awareness of this sub. This was told by a professor in a class.
Answer: because it left residue at every pole! - All of my classes make me numb... But math class makes me number.
- Friend: I got kicked out of math class today. Me: Why?
Friend: Turns out mouthwash doesn't come after 69. - What does a mermaid wear to math class An algae-bra
I'm not sorry - A math teacher ask his students, "What is 5Q + 5Q?" The class responds, "10Q."
The teacher responds, "You're welcome/"
Math Test Jokes
Here is a list of funny math test jokes and even better math test puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- If I had $5 for every time I failed a math test I would have $37
- If I had a nickel for every time I failed a math test... I'd have 27¢
- If I had 25 cents for every time I failed my math test I'd have $5.13
- If I had 5 dollars for every math test I have ever failed then I would have 37 dollars.
- What do winter solstice and a math test have in common? They both have you counting down to the end.
- If I get 15 cents for every time I failed a math test I would have $8.12
- If I had 50¢ for every Math test I failed.... I still wouldn't have enough money to pay off my crippling student debt.
- Why did the amoeba flunk the math test? Because it multiplied by dividing.
- Why did ChatGPT fail its math test? Because it kept giving AI-deas instead of answers.
- If I had 50 cents from every time I failed a maths test I'd have $8.32
Laughter Math Jokes for Everyone for Fun and Frivolity
What funny jokes about math you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean phys jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make math pranks.
A little help with your math
A businessman is getting a 17% discount on an order worth $20,000.00, but can't figure out the total in his head. He asks his secretary, "Betty, if I were to give you twenty thousand dollars with a 17% discount, how much would you take off?" She thinks for a minute, then says, "Everything except my earrings."
Why is bacteria so bad at math?
...It multiplies by dividing!
This is my dad's (a math major) favourite joke. What's the difference between an Engineer and a Mathematician?
A mathematician and an engineer are living together in a dorm when a fire starts in their room.
The mathematician wakes up and sees the fire. He quickly scans the room and sees a fire extinguisher and goes back to bed, happy knowing a solution exists.
The engineer wakes up, sees the fire and uses the extinguisher to put it out.
Since there have been a few math jokes lately...
Q1. What do you get if you cross a mountain lion with a mountain goat?
A1. ||mountain lion|| ||mountain goat|| sin θ
Q2. What do you get when you cross a mountain lion with a mountain climber?
A2. You can't - the mountain climber is a scalar.
My Favorite Math Joke
An infinite number of mathematicians walk into a bar. The first one tells the bartender he wants a beer. The second one orders half a beer. The third one orders a fourth of a beer. The bartender puts two beers on the bar and says You guys need to learn your limits.
The Mathematician and the Waiter
A mathematician and his partner go to a restaurant one Sunday lunchtime. The waiter comes over and takes the mathematician's order: -
'I'd like one chicken breast, 10 roast potatoes, 100 baby carrots and 1,000 peas, please' he requests.
'Why sir!' Exclaimed the waiter. 'That's an order of magnitude!'
Why was the mathematician late for work?
He took the rhombus.
In honor of 3/14... TIL the man who discovered Pi had his wife, Edith, leave him over his obsession with math.
Which just goes to show you, you can't have your Pi and Edith too.
s**... Math Time
So a 54 year old man cheats on his wife and leaves her a note saying that he has been sleeping with an 18 year.
The 54 year old wife reads the note, shrugs and writes one of her own.
When her husband gets home he reads the note, it says:
I know that you've been cheating on me with an 18 year old, but I have an 18 year old of my own and we all know 18 goes into 54 far more than 54 goes into 18.
When a mathematics student graduates
do they get a degree, or a radian?
A boy goes up to a girl and says "hey baby what's up"...
She says "I have a boyfriend", he says "I have a math test".
The girl says "What's that got to do with anything?", he replies "I thought we were just naming things we are going to cheat on."
Today, I made the little things count
by teaching math to midgets.....
Why do a lot of math nerds wear glasses?
It helps with division.
When your Dad is a math teacher you grow up with jokes like this...
Q: Why did the chicken cross the Mobius s**...?
A: To get to the same side!
Pakistani math problem.
Ahmed has 3 lunch boxes.
He gives one to Mohammed and another to Hassan. Calculate the radius of the e**....
All the mathematical functions went to a party...
There they saw the exponential function sitting by himself
They poked him, "c'mon man, join the party"
To which he replied, "it's not my fault, eveytime I try to integrate, I just end up with myself"
Mathematicians in a bar
An infinite number of mathematicians walk into a bar. The first orders a pint, the second a half a pint, the third 1/4 pint, the fourth 1/8... the bartender gets impatient, gives the whole group 2 pints and says "you guys dont know your limits..."
Why are dwarfs so good at math?
Because it's the little things that count.
A teacher was giving a math lesson...
...and she asked one of her students, "If you had two dollars, and you asked your father for another, how many dollars would you have?"
The student replied, "Two dollars."
"Not quite," the teach responded. "Sounds like you don't know your addition.
"No," the student said, "you just don't know my father."
I know a mathematician who can't afford lunch.
He can binomial.
A new study shows that the majority of humans alive today are better at math than Albert Einstein.
Because he's dead.
A mathematician, a college professor, and a textbook author walk into a bar.
*[The punchline is left as an exercise for the reader.]*
I said Hi to a girl and she replied "I have a boyfriend"...
"And I have a math test", I told her. "What?", she replied, "What does that have to do with anything?".
"Oh", I said, "I thought we were both naming things we would cheat on."
A Mathematician is given a psychological test.
The first question asked "You see a burning house and a hose disconnected from a fire hydrant. What do you do?" After much deliberation, the Mathematician decides he would attach the hose to the hydrant. He is then asked "You see a non-burning house and a hose disconnected from a fire hydrant. What do you do?" to which the Mathematician immediately responds, "I'll set the house of fire to reduce this to a problem I've already solved."
A mathematician walks into a bar
A mathematician walks into a bar and asks the bartender for a beer.
The bartender says, "Sorry but we've run out of beer. We have only root beer for today."
"No problem", replies the mathematician. "Just serve me in a square glass."
A mathematician stumbles home drunk at 3 a.m.
...and his wife is livid.
You SWORE that you'd be home by 11:45!
"No," slurs the mathematician...
I said I'd be home by a quarter of 12.
Why don't mathematicians have degrees?
They prefer radians.
A mathematician is afraid of flying
A mathematician is afraid of flying due to the small risk of a t**... attack. So, on every flight he takes a bomb with his hand luggage. "The probability of having a bomb on a plane is very low", he reason, "and the probability of having two bombs on the same plane is virtually zero."
Math jokes never work on me
I have trouble differentiating them. They aren't an integral part of my life and most of the time they just don't add up.
How does a mathematician solve their constipation?
They work it out with a pencil
I'm bad at math
So the equation 2n+2n is 4n to me.
I'm starting a business....
I'm gonna do math tutoring, but solely for midgets. I'm calling it Making The Little Things Count.
A mathematician couldn't remember if he had been with his girlfriend for 1 year or 2.
But he knew it was <3.
What kind of math was Jesus the best at?
Cross multiplication
Yeah, it's a math joke
17: Hey 11, want to hear a joke?
11: Sure.
17: What did one prime number say to the other prime number?
11: I give up.
17: "I can't even."
11 and 17 together: HAHAHA!!!!!
2: I don't get it.
To the mathematicians who thought of the idea of zero...
Thanks for nothing.
Mathematics is 90% common sense,
the other half is intelligence.
Just saw a guy wearing t-shirt that read "truth+God=life"
Thank god I'm good at math. Truth = life - God
A mathematician stumbles home drunk at 3 a.m
A mathematician stumbles home drunk at 3 a.m and his wife is livid.
You SWORE that you'd be home by 11:45!
"No," slurs the mathematician I said I'd be home by a quarter of 12.
A mathematician wasn't too confident about his appearance...
So he asked his friend to compare his good looks in terms he could understand.
After little thought his friend says: "You're about as good looking as you are bad looking."
"Well that's just mean."
I don't mind the Chinese students in my Math class being really good at the subject
But I must say, it's pretty c**... of them to do the problems with their eyes closed.
Why are Asians so good at Math?
Their dogs can't eat their homework.
Two mathematicians walk into a bar...
The punchline is trivial and is left as an exercise to the reader
If I had 50 cents for every math exam I failed in college...
I would be up to about $6.30 now.
I read somewhere that 1 out of 3 people cheat
I did the math, and there is a 5/9 chance that either my wife or my girlfriend is cheating on me.
Boy: Hey wanna see a movie with me tonight?
Girl: I have a boyfriend.
Boy: and i have a math test tomorrow.
Girl: What does that have to do with anything?
Boy: I thought we were listing things we were going to cheat on.
Why do all german exchange students fail math?
Because nobody wants to see their final solution.
A mathematician came home and told his wife, sorry honey, but I'm leaving you for my 18 year old assistant. I'll be home in a few hours and I'd like for you to be gone.
He got back home and found a note that read, hi honey, I've left and decided to run off with the 18 year old pool boy. We are both 54 years old, and I think you'll figure out as a mathematician that 18 goes into 54 more times than 54 goes into 18.
Genie: you have three wishes
me: make math go away
Genie: ok, that one's on the house
me: yay, so I still get three wishes?
Genie: huh?
A mathematician comes home at 3:00 AM
A mathematician comes home at 3:00 AM and gets a good shouting at from his wife
"You said you'd be home at 11:45, this is so unlike you!
The mathematician calmly responds,"No dear I said I'd be back home at a quarter *of* twelve."
A little boy was doing his math homework and practicing out loud, Two plus six, that son of a b**... is eight...
Three plus seven, that son of a b**... is ten."
Hearing what he was saying, his mother asked him what he was doing. He answered that he was doing his math homework.
"And this is how your teacher taught you to do it?" she asked her son to which he replied yes.
Infuriated, the mother asked the teacher what she is teaching in math class. The teacher said, "Right now, we are learning addition."
The mother asked if she was teaching them to say two plus two, that son of a b**... is four.
Laughing, the teacher replied, "What I taught them was, two plus two, THE SUM OF WHICH, is four."