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Math Homework Jokes

49 math homework jokes and hilarious math homework puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about math homework that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

Funniest Math Homework Short Jokes

Short math homework jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The math homework humour may include short math problem jokes also.

  1. My daughter is making graphs for her math homework. Awfully suspicious... Pretty sure she's plotting something.
  2. How do you know if an Asian person has robbed your house? When you come home, your math homework is done, your computer is upgraded, and they're still trying to back out of the driveway.
  3. Math Teacher: Your homework looks like chicken scratch, but you have all the correct answers Later at Home: I think she's on to us, mathmachicken
  4. I was so busy with maths homework that I didn't brush my teeth for a week The calculus had built up, and it was starting to get quite hard.
  5. My son asked if I could help him with his math homework. He said "Do I know the square root of minus 1?" I said "aye"
  6. My friend asked me to assist him with his math homework. I should probably help him before he stops *counting* on me.
  7. How do you know you've been burgled by asians? You come home to find your math homework was done, your computer was upgraded, and they're still trying to back down the driveway.
  8. I mailed my maths homework to Barack Obama, Vladimir Putin and Queen Elizabeth II ...it said to give my answers to 3 significant figures.
  9. I'll do you like my math homework Slam you on the table, try to do you, but give up and pay someone to finish you
  10. A math tutor agrees to help a hot student with her homework. His friends upon hearing this ask him if he made it to 3rd base with her. The math tutor replies "no. I made it to base 10."

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Math Homework One Liners

Which math homework one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with math homework? I can suggest the ones about math test and math exam.

  1. Why are Chinese kids so good at math? Because their dog doesn't eat their homework
  2. Why are Asians so good at Math? Their dogs can't eat their homework.
  3. I always put my glasses on when doing Math homework. It improves division
  4. Hey girl, are you my math homework? Because I want to do you on the table
  5. Why did Obi-wan not do his math homework? Because only a Sith deals in absolutes.
  6. Why did Timmy do his math homework at the gym? He wanted to *work them out*!
  7. I needed help with my math homework So I looked up "How to achieve the Final Solution"
  8. I wish I was your math homework Then I'd be hard and you'd do me on the desk.
  9. Need help with your math homework? Visit mcdonalds.com/careers
  10. What did the procrastinator say to his math homework? I'll calc you later!

Math Homework Funny Jokes And Hilarious Puns.

What funny jokes about math homework you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean math solving jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make math homework pranks.

Teacher: Why does the statue of liberty stand in New York harbour?
Pupil: Because it can’t sit down!
An ideal homework excuse
Teacher: Where is your homework?
Pupil: I lost it fighting this kid who said you weren’t the best teacher in the school
Teacher: If 1+1=2 and 2+2=4, what is 4+4?
Pupil: That’s not fair!
You answer the easy ones and leave us with the hard one!

My son was like "I got a D in my maths" and I was like "That's really bad" and my wife was like "you need to stop doing his homework."

An escalating series of math jokes

Me: Roses are red. Violets are blue. Math is hard, and so I am.
Her: I wish you were my differential equations homework... because if you were, you would be hard and I would be doing you on my desk.
Me: Well, I'm awfully glad you're not *my* differential equations homework... because if you were, you would be 6 weeks late.

Meanie-Pie Girl

I was working on a large amount of math homework in a group today, and one of the female participants was being prissy and in general a nuisance. So I patted her on the head. She says, 'Did you just pat me on the head?' So I say, "Yes, you were being mean so I was de-meaning you."

My Indian engineering teacher told us this today

Growing up in America, you've probably heard your parents say, "Eat your food, there are starving children in India." But I tell my children, "Do your math homework or an Indian child will eat your food."

Was helping somebody do their math homework dealing with absolute values.

I then realized that her math teacher was a Sith Lord, because only Sith Lords deal in absolutes.

Two 5th graders are doing Math homework.

One tells the other, "I don't know what 99 is in Roman numerals."
The other lowers her glasses and says, "IC."

In my math homework I was asked what's the difference a racist and a mathematician.

I need help solving this equation, maybe one of you could ask one of your Asian friends for me?

What's a sharks favorite game?

s**... the leader.
*This joke has been brought to you by my 8 year old's math homework.*

Hey girl are you my math homework?

Because I'm going to pretend I never knew you, but in reality my dog ate you.

"Dad, can you do my math homework for me?" "No son, it wouldn't be right."

"Well, at least you could try."

My math teacher told me to stop copying my homework because I wasn't learning any real life skills

Joke's on him though, I just become a Monk.

My 6 year-old son returns home with a sad expression on his face after getting a bad grade on Math that day

My wife agrees that I should stop helping him with his homework.

Why did the student hire an Instagram model to help with his math homework?

Because it's the thot that counts

A little boy was doing his math homework and practicing out loud, Two plus six, that son of a b**... is eight...

Three plus seven, that son of a b**... is ten."
Hearing what he was saying, his mother asked him what he was doing. He answered that he was doing his math homework.
"And this is how your teacher taught you to do it?" she asked her son to which he replied yes.
Infuriated, the mother asked the teacher what she is teaching in math class. The teacher said, "Right now, we are learning addition."
The mother asked if she was teaching them to say two plus two, that son of a b**... is four.
Laughing, the teacher replied, "What I taught them was, two plus two, THE SUM OF WHICH, is four."

A pirate walks into the kitchen and announces:

A pirate walks into the kitchen and announces:
"Someone call fer me?"
I look down at my homework, and back up at the pirate and say, "uhhh, I was just trying to figure out how to do this problem, nothing a pirate could help with."
The pirate walks menacingly toward me, and I consider whether to run or stay put.
"It's... ...uhhh... these circles... math...," I mutter, terrified.
"Arrrrrrr-ea? Well, every pirate knows that. It's 'Arrrrr pi Arrrrr'"

The son of a b**...

Henry was doing maths homework, saying to himself...
"2+5, the son of a b**... is 7"
"3+6, the son of a b**... is 9"
His mother heard this & asked, " Henry ! What is this nonsense you are doing?"
"Oh Mom. Don't disturb. I am doing my maths homework"
Mom: "Is this how your teacher taught you?"
"Yes mom "
Infuriated mother picked up her cell phone and called the teacher:
"Are you teaching maths to children by saying... 2+2, the son of a b**... is 4?"
There was silence for a moment
Then the teacher started laughing :
"What I taught them was... 2+2 THE SUM OF WHICH IS 4."
***

A man calls the National Security Agency...

Man: Hello, I heard you record all our phone conversations, is that correct?
Agent: No sir, we don't do that
Man: Oh shoot. I was just talking to my wife and she gave me a list of things to do and I can't remember! I thought I would check with you rather than call her back and let her know I wasn't listening!
Agent: I'm sorry to hear that sir, but as I said, we don't listen to civilian conversations. However, you should:
1. Pick up a gallon of milk
2. 2 dozen eggs
3. 4 Macintosh apples
4. Help Sofia with her math homework
....

MOM: "No more TV until you finish your math homework!"

KID: "Aww, Mom! When am I ever gonna use math in real life? I'm gonna grow up to be a super rich rock star...I'll pay people to do math \*for\* me."
MOM: "Well, why didn't you say so? That's a wonderful goal! And I know exactly how to help you pursue it."
THE NEXT DAY
MOM: "No more TV until you finish your guitar practice!"
KID: "Aww, Mom!"