Math Class Jokes

97 math class jokes and hilarious math class puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about math class that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

Funniest Math Class Short Jokes

Short math class jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The math class humour may include short math homework jokes also.

  1. When I was in high school, my dad f*cked my teacher repeatedly for better grades in my math class. Thank god im homeschooled or that could have been wierd
  2. So I was in math class when the teacher asked me what comes after 69. Apparently, "I do." is not the correct answer.
  3. What does a mermaid wear to a Maths class ? An algaebra.
    Note: Not my original. I had read this somewhere a few years ago. Kudos to the original creator.
  4. One time my math professor asked everyone in class to write a complex number on their forehead You could probably imagine the expressions on our faces.
  5. Why did a mathematician named his dog Cauchy? Let me test math awareness of this sub. This was told by a professor in a class.
    Answer: because it left residue at every pole!
  6. Friend: I got kicked out of math class today. Me: Why?
    Friend: Turns out mouthwash doesn't come after 69.
  7. A math teacher ask his students, "What is 5Q + 5Q?" The class responds, "10Q."
    The teacher responds, "You're welcome/"
  8. Saw this one in my maths class Student: Sir I'm cold!
    Teacher: Go and stand in the corner then.
    Student: Why would I do that?
    Teacher: Because it's 90 degrees over there.
  9. A student brings a slingshot to algebra class and fires gum at the professor It was a weapon of math disruption.
  10. Math joke My Calculus teacher told me:"Degrees are essentially useless in this class, we will use radians instead."
    I replied:"Is that why you're teaching Calculus?"

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Math Class One Liners

Which math class one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with math class? I can suggest the ones about math test and math exam.

  1. What math classes do gender studies majors take? Triggernometry
  2. What did the mermaid forget to bring to math class? Her algae bra
  3. I taught my maths class how to use a protractor, with varying degrees of success.
  4. Why did the atheist fail his math class? He didn't believe in a higher power.
  5. All of my classes make me numb... But math class makes me number.
  6. What does a mermaid wear to math class An algae-bra
    I'm not sorry
  7. My math teacher told the whole class I'm average... she's mean
  8. Stalin would do well in my math class: He's got a lot of practice solving by elimination.
  9. what did the mermaid wear to the maths class? An "algae bra"
  10. What does a Mermaid bring to math class? An algae-bra.
  11. What does the Little Mermaid put on before math class? An Algebra
  12. Q: What happened to the plant in math class? A: It grew square roots.
  13. What did the mermaid wear for math class? Algaebra
  14. What math class should feminists take? Triggernomics
  15. How do you spot muslim immigrants in a math class? They are really bad at integrating.

Humorous Math Class Jokes to Bring Fun and Laughter to Your Life

What funny jokes about math class you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean math problem jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make math class pranks.

Q: Why did the girl wear glasses in math class?
A: It improves di-vision.

Little Johnny was in Maths class when his teacher asked him:

Johnny, if your Mother had to repay a loan of $100,000, and you gave her $50,000, what would she need to repay the loan?"
Johnny replied, "To repay the loan? $50,000 more. To stay alive? CPR."

In high school math class ...

I owned a car and I was good at calculus. They made me the "designated deriver".

Little Tommy gets asked to stay after class...

so little boy tommy isnt very good at math so his teacher kindly asks him to stay after class so she can help him.He agrees and listens to the teacher as she gives an example.She starts off by saying that if there are 10 birds on a telephone pole and you shoot one off, how many are left? he quickly answers "none". she says "no tommy, there would be 9". he then looks at her and says "thats impossible, obviously if you shoot one off, they would all fly away". she tells him that she likes the way he thinks. he follows up by saying "can i ask you a question miss, if there are 3 ladies holding a lollipop, 1 s**... it, 1 l**... it, and 1 biting it...which one is married? the teacher quickly replies with "the one s**... it". he looks at her and says "no, the one with the ring on her finger, **but** i like the way you think

r**... Logic Joke

Two r**..., Hunter and c**... decided that they weren't going anywhere in life and thought they should go to college to get ahead.
The first went in to see the counselor, who told him to take math, history, and logic.
"What's logic?" the c**... asked.
The counselor answered, "Let me give you an example. Do you own a w**... eater?"
"I sure do."
"Then I can assume, using logic, that you have a yard," replied the counselor.
"That's real good!" said c**....
The counselor continued, "Logic will also tell me that since you have a yard, you also own a house."
Impressed, c**... said, "Amazing!"
"And since you own a house, logic dictates that you have a wife."
"That's Betty Mae! This is incredible!"
c**... was catching on.
"Finally, since you have a wife, logically I can assume that you are heterosexual," said the counselor.
"You're absolutely right! Why that's the most fascinatin' thing I ever heard! I cain't wait to take that logic class!"
c**..., proud of the new world opening up to him, walked back into the hallway where Hunter was still waiting.
"So what classes are ya takin'?" asked Hunter.
"Math, history, and logic!" replied c**....
"What in tarnation is logic?" asked Hunter.
"Let me give you an example. Do ya own a w**... eater?" asked c**....
"No," Hunter replied.
"Then you're gay."

My rubberband gun was confiscated in Algebra class

It was a weapon of math disruption!

my math teacher's joke she told us

so, in math class my teacher told us a joke that goes like this: knock knock who's there? interrupting starfish interrup-(places hand on other person's face) we laughed so hard at the teacher's reaction.

Successful entrepreneur

I met an old friend from high school the other day, and I couldn't believe how wealthy he had become. He ran a massively successful business, but could barely get a passing grade in math class when I knew him.
I asked him how he did it.
He said it was easy.
"All I did was find a product I could make for $2 and sell for $4. You'd be surprised just how much 2% adds up over the years!"

little Johnny

Was sitting in class doing maths problems when his teacher picked him to answer a question.
"Johnny, if there were five birds sitting on a fence and you shot one with your gun how many would be left?"
"None," replied Johnny, "'Cause the rest would fly away."
"Well, the answer is four," said the teacher, "But I like the way you are thinking."
Little Johnny says, "I have a question for you now; If there were three women eating ice cream cones in a shop: one was l**... her cone, the second was biting the cone, and the third was s**... the cone, which one is married?"
"Well," said the teacher nervously, "I guess the one s**... the cone?"
"No," said Little Johnny, "The one with the wedding ring on her finger, but I like the way you are thinking."

Finger l**... Good

Little Timmy was sitting in class doing math problems when his teacher picked him to answer a question, "Timmy, if there were five birds sitting on a fence and you shot one with your gun, how many would be left?" "None," replied Timmy, "cause the rest would fly away." "Well, the answer is four," said the teacher, "but I like the way you're thinking."
Little Timmy says, "I have a question for you. If there were three women eating ice cream cones in a shop, one was l**... her cone, the second was biting her cone and the third was s**... her cone, which one is married?"
"Well," said the teacher nervously, "I guess the one s**... the cone."
"No," said Little Timmy, "the one with the wedding ring on her finger, but I like the way you're thinking."

The Answer Is Four (Teacher Joke)

Little Johnny was in class doing math problems when his teacher picked him to answer a question…
Johnny, if there were five birds sitting on a fence and you shot one with your gun, how many would be left?
None, replied Johnny. The rest would fly away.
Well, the answer is actually four, said the teacher. But I do like the way you're thinking.
Little Johnny quickly replies… Well, I have a question for you… Say you spot three women eating ice cream cones. One is l**... her cone, the second is biting her cone and the third is s**... her cone. Which one of these women is married?
Well, says the teacher nervously, I guess I'd say the one s**... the cone.
No, says Little Johnny. The one with the wedding ring on her finger is married. But I like the way you're thinking.

A little Johnny...

One day in math class little Johnny's teacher asked him to look out the window, where three birds were sitting on a fence. She then asks "Johnny, if I shoot one of those birds how many are left?" Johnny replies "None, they would all have flown away when they heard the gun shot." The teacher smiles and says "The correct answer was two, but I like the way you think."
Johnny looks at the teacher and says "I have a question for you." "There are three women in an ice cream shop and they all have an ice cream cone, one is l**... it, one is biting it, and one is s**... it, which one is married?" The teach thinks about it a bit and says "The one s**... it." Johnny looks at her and say "The right answer was the one wearing the wedding ring, but I like the way you think."

What does a mermaid wear to math class?

An "algebra"

Teacher: in this class you should love logarithms.

Student: what if they don't reciprocate?
Sorry for the bad math joke... but it was just too good.


Little Johnny was in his maths class one day when the teacher said to him "If I gave you $200," the teacher began," and you gave $50 to Mary, $50 to Sally, $50 to Susan and $50 to Amy, what would you have?"
"An o**...," Johnny answered.

A rubber band p**... was confiscated from algebra class because it was a weapon of math disruption.

Always been a family favourite.

There are four sure fire ways to get through math class

Either you study hard, have a natural talent for it, or just skip it.

Why did Adolf h**... hate math class?

He didn't like showing his work; was only interested in the final solution.

Two students were complaining about math class.

"I hate math. Well, I really just hate numbers." "What do you mean?" "Take seventeen, for instance. I hate seventeen. There's nothing good about seventeen." "What's so bad about seventeen?" "Nothing really. It's just a prime example."

My math teacher told me that 3/5 of the kids in my class don't understand fractions

Thankfully I'm a part of the other 3/5.

A math teacher went to school drunk...

He told the class that they were going to learn derivatives and then proceeded to pass out. He was removed from the school and fired immediately. The lesson?
Don't drink and derive

A math teacher was lecturing his class

Suddenly, the professor popped a question,'What is ((353.44634×153×15)+799²-285)×69-0.2 equal to?'
The students were really confused, one who was extremely frustrated stands up and yells and slams on his table,'NEIN NEIN NEIN NEIN NEIN NEIN NEIN NEIN!' The teacher was impressed and said,' Correct, now you can sit down, Adolf.'

What do you need when you're constipated in math class?

Squeeze Theorem

Math is so communist...

...There's class struggle for Marx

I know why Hogwarts doesn't have math class. They have a magical device for it.

It's called a calculator.

Math class

Teacher asks Johnny:
"Imagine you have $200. And you give $50 to Jane, $50 to Suzi, $50 to Melissa. What would you have?"
"An o**...?"
Edited: names spelling, grammar.

I took the girl from my maths class on a date

We met for a few drinks at the bar on campus. After a while I took a look around the room.
"Wow, you're the most average girl in here."
"What?! You're mean!" She screamed.
"No, you are."

What math class does a feminist take?


A girl bangs a calculator on the desk to make it work

Math teacher: why are you making noise
Girl: my calculator isn't working so I'm b**... it to make it work
Math teacher: the calculator's gonna break, how would you like it if i banged you on the table

Why did h**... fail math class?

He couldn't complete The Final Solution

johnny in the math class

A teacher is teaching a class and she sees that Johnny isn't paying attention, so she asks him, "If there are three ducks sitting on a fence, and you shoot one, how many are left?" Johnny says, "None." The teacher asks, "Why?" Johnny says, "Because the shot scared them all off." The teacher says, "No, two, but I like how you're thinking." Johnny asks the teacher, "If you see three women walking out of an ice cream parlor, one is l**... her ice cream, one is s**... her ice cream, and one is biting her ice cream, which one is married?" The teacher says, "The one s**... her ice cream." Johnny says, "No, the one with the wedding ring, but I like how you're thinking!"

What do conservatives hate about mixed ethnicity math classes?

There's too much integration

I don't mind the Chinese students in my Math class being really good at the subject

But I must say, it's pretty c**... of them to do the problems with their eyes closed.

I think my old math teacher may have been a war criminal....

Every single time in class he would start talking about the 'ex-Axis'.

The math teacher asked her class, "If I have 5 bottles in one hand and 6 in the other hand, what do I have?"

A student raised his hand and replied, "A drinking problem."

An 8 year old boy was horrendous at math.

His parents were worried about his math skills and decided to enroll him in a Catholic school. After the boy's first report card came out, he had straight A's in his math class. His father asked the boy, "How did the Catholic school make you better at math?" The boy responded with, "I never took math seriously but when walked in to my new school and saw the man nailed to the plus sign, I knew this place meant business!"

My math professor this term misses a lot of classes by faking minor injuries.

I'll never take another class with Professor Fibbin Ouchie.

The police are having a math class

On the board it is written 5-7+2=0.
The policemen are very confused so the teacher says "Look, it is very simple. Let me give you an example".
Let's say that there is a bus with 5 people in it. On the next stop 7 people get off the bus. How many people need to get in the bus so the bus will be empty ?

One day in class, the math teacher Mrs. Brown noticed that Little Johnny was not paying attention to what she was saying...

So she called Little Johnny to recite in class.
"Little Johnny, answer this math question," she said. "If you have 500 dollars and you gave 100 dollars to Susie and gave 100 dollars to Jeannie and gave 100 dollars to Mary Ann, what do you have ?"
"An o**...," answered Little Johnny.

Today in math class I had to f**.... I thought if I dropped my book and f**... at the same time, no one would hear it.

I dropped my book and everyone looked at me. Then I f**.... Loudly.

What did the sad math teacher say to his class?

...well he just said PEMDAS.

On March 27th, our math teacher burst into class and threatened to cancel Spring Break unless the one who's cheated on all their tests reveals themselves before next month

How are we supposed to catch a cheater in eight days?!

Little Johnny was in math class

The class was learning subtraction with big numbers today, and the teacher decided to use money as the unit of measurement. Johnny hadn't been paying much attention, so the teacher called on him, "Little Johnny, if you start with $1000 and gave $150 to Lucy, $150 to Suzy and $200 to Brittany, what would you have?"
"Well I'd have $500 left over after a very expensive o**..., sir"

In class, my statistics teacher said, "The lottery is a tax on fools who can't do math."

I shrugged and said, "h**..., anybody can win the lottery."
My statistics teacher smirked, folded his arms and asked, "Do you even know the chances of a person winning the lottery?"
I said, "Yep. 100%. A person always wins."

The math teacher in asks: "What is 2+2?"...

Melissa: "6"
Teacher: "Idiot! Sit down!"
Alex: "7"
Teacher: "Even stupider! Sit down too!"
At the back of the class, Karen, the only one shaking her hand in the air.
Teacher: "Ok, Karen. What is 2+2?"
Karen: "4"
Teacher: "Yes! Finally! Show the other idiots how you got your answer."
Karen: "Well, I subtracted 12 from 7"

A little boy was doing his math homework and practicing out loud, Two plus six, that son of a b**... is eight...

Three plus seven, that son of a b**... is ten."
Hearing what he was saying, his mother asked him what he was doing. He answered that he was doing his math homework.
"And this is how your teacher taught you to do it?" she asked her son to which he replied yes.
Infuriated, the mother asked the teacher what she is teaching in math class. The teacher said, "Right now, we are learning addition."
The mother asked if she was teaching them to say two plus two, that son of a b**... is four.
Laughing, the teacher replied, "What I taught them was, two plus two, THE SUM OF WHICH, is four."

I think my math teacher just broke up with his girlfriend.

Today in class, he asked us to find his ex, but he wouldn't tell us why.

A guy arrives home early...

Father: you're home early...
Son: *sigh* yeah, I got kicked out.
Father: What?! Why?!
Son: the prettiest girl in my math class offered to give me a h**... and I just couldn't say no
Father: I don't think they're going to let you teach there anymore

What did the mermaid wear to the math class?

P.S not my own . Reposting someone's original from years ago. Kudos to him

After failing maths, Jared's parents decide to move him from the local public school to a nearby Catholic school

Within a few months, he is passing with flying colours. His parents ask him the reason behind his sudden improvement. "Was it the strict nuns, the rigour of class, the example of other students? Jared shook his head. "Well what was it then"? Jared replied "Truth is, when I first arrived and saw that guy nailed to the plus sign, I knew they meant business".

What do you call a rectangle that's full of blood?

An erectangle
(Came up with this in math class lol)

My maths teacher always goes off on tangents in class

They say it's the first sine of madness

In a job swapping exercise , a politician was assigned the job

Of a math teacher .
Guess what did he teach the kids in the class.

Place Value

This is not so much of a joke as an amusing true story.
I was teaching math to some first graders, and we had been discussing place value for the past week.
It was Friday and I had been explaining that a 1 in the one's place is worth 1, but a 1 in the ten's place was worth 10.
So, I said to the class, " One, zero. Now what does that mean."
A young fellow in the back of the room raised his hand and said, "The end of the easy numbers."

What math class does a tree with a speech disorder take?


The girl who sat behind me in 7th grade math class loved to pour orange soda on my head

Only looking back now, do I realize she had a Crush on me.

I'm fine with substitute teaching math, science.. even music.

But art class is where I draw the line.

jokes about math class