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Matey Jokes

52 matey jokes and hilarious matey puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about matey that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

Funniest Matey Short Jokes

Short matey jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The matey humour may include short matt jokes also.

  1. A pirate wearing a paper towel on his head walks into a bar. The bartender asks What's with the paper towel? The pirate says Arrr matey, I have a bounty on me head!
  2. What is a pirate's favorite letter?... If you think R, you be wrong, matey.
    For it be the mighty C.
  3. What did the pirate say when he turned 80? Aye matey
    (This is an old joke I saw. But haven't seen it here in a while. So I figured some of you might get a small laugh out of this)
  4. What be a pirate's favourite letter? Nah, matey, you think it be r but it actually be the sea
  5. A pirate goes to the doctor.. 'Thar be strange moles me back'
    Doctors has a look.
    'They're benign'
    'Check again matey,I counted 10'
  6. What do you call a fat pirate? A vast matey.
  7. How does an old pirate say his age? I' Matey
  8. A 79 year old pirate has his next birthday this morning.... he wakes up and says to his crew, "AYE-matey!"
  9. How big of a "ye matey" should a pirate have A vast ye matey
  10. A pirate walks into a bar The bartender says to him:
    "Hey pirate, are you aware there's a steering wheel coming from your zipper?"
    The pirate replies:
    "AARRGHH matey, it's drivin' me nuts!"

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Matey One Liners

Which matey one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with matey? I can suggest the ones about checkmate and mates.

  1. What did the pirate say on his 80th birthday? Aye Matey!
  2. What did the pirate say on his 80th birthday? Aye matey
    Credit to my sister
  3. What did the pirate say when he turned 80? 'Aye matey"
  4. 'How old arr you?' asked one of the pirate's sailors. The pirate replied, 'Aye matey.'
  5. What did the pirate say on his eightieth birthday? AYYYYYY MATEY
  6. Why did the pirate update his Macbook? His matey told him he needed an iPatch
  7. Yesterday I met a pirate that wouldn't stop telling me about his age. Aye matey.
  8. What's a pirate's favorite letter? You'd think it be the R, matey...
    But it's the sea!
  9. Why did the pirate go ashore? For a little R & R, matey.
  10. What did the pirate say when he turned 80 years old? Aye matey.
  11. What did the pirate say when he turned 80 Aye matey !
    Funny funny I know
  12. What did one π rad say to the other π rad? "arrrr matey!"
  13. What do you call a pirate with military experience? Army Matey.
  14. What does a pirate say on his 80th birthday? Aye matey
  15. What does a Pirate say on his Eightieth birthday? AYE MATEY!

Matey joke, What does a Pirate say on his Eightieth birthday?

Cheeky Matey Jokes that Will Make You and Your Friends Chuckle

What funny jokes about matey you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean meaty jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make matey pranks.

A Sea Captain looks through his telescope

and sees ships approaching on the horizon. He says to his first mate "Arrrr Matey, fetch me me red shirt".
"But why, Captain?" the Mate says.
"If these be enemies and we must defend our ship I don't want me men to see me bleed".
The mate fetches the shirt as the Captain looks out again, this time seeing a fleet of Pirate Ships gaining on them. He turns to the first mate again:
"Arrr Matey, fetch me me brown pants".

Hard Times

A pirate was standing on the crow's nest and then he slipped and fell. He fell through the first floor, then he fell through the second floor, then he fell through the third floor and hit the bottom floor of the ship!
The first mate comes up to him and asks "Are ye all right matey?"
The pirate replies, "Arrr, yes... I've been through hardship before!"

A pirate goes to a doctor...

A pirate goes to a doctor, worried that the moles on his back might be cancerous. The doctor inspects them.
"It's ok," he says. "They're benign."
The pirate replies "Check 'em again matey, I think there be at least ten!"
(sorry if repost, haven't seen it on this sub)

On a pirate's birthday, I asked him how old he was

His response: "Aye matey"

Arrrrr Matey

These be pirate jokes....
Why can't pirates be EMT's?
They don't know CPRRRRRrrr..
Why did the Pirate take a vacation?
For a little ArRR and ARRRRrrr...
What do they teach at Pirate Elementary?
The three Arrrrrrs...
What TV show do pirates watch?
E.Rrrrrrr.
Why did the pirates need GPS?
So that they could know where they arrrr...
What would Popeye say if he were a pirate?
"I are what I rrrrrrrr..."
there ya be.....

So a pirate walks into a grocery store...

And he asks for blubber. The clerk is amazed to see a pirate and exclaims "Are you *really* a pirate!?"
"Aye, matey."
"Whale: aisle B!" replied the surprised-yet-helpful clerk.

A pirate goes to the doctor

A pirate goes to a doctor, worried that the moles on his back might be cancerous. The doctor inspects them.
"It's ok," he says. "They're benign."
The pirate replies "Check 'em again matey, I think there be at least ten!"

What did the pirate say when asked how old he was?

Aye Matey!

What did the 80 year old pirate say?

Aye matey. Then the 82 year old pirate said, aye matey too. The 80yo pirate said, no you're not, you're eighty two! I'm eighty. Then the 82 year old pirate said, Aye matey! Then the 80yo pirate said, no you're not! You're eighty two! Then the 82 year old pirate said, Aye matey! Then the...

A pirate walks in with a steering wheel sticking out of his zipper...

His matey asks, "Aarrr, why is there a steering wheel coming out of your pants?"
The pirate respond, "Aarrr, it's me wife, she drives me nuts."

What did the Pirate say when he did a T-pose?

Aye matey

A pirate walks into a bar,

He has what appears to be a steering wheel tucked into his pants.
Another patron of the bar asks,
"why do you have that in your pants? Isn't it uncomfortable?"
The pirate responded,
"Aye, matey, it's driving me nuts!"

A pirate goes to the dermatologist to get some moles on his back looked at. The doctor examines him and says, "it's ok. They're benign."

The pirate turns around and says "Check 'em again matey, I think there be at least ten!

Two pirates were aboard the Queen Anne's Revenge discussing the upcoming pirate captain's election

One says to the other: "Arrr matey, I'll give ye my clear glass eye if ye give me yer vote for captain tomorrow."
The other considers the proposal for a moment, then squeezes his fake wooden eye out of its socket, throws it overboard, spits on his hand and offers it to the first pirate.
"Arrr, an Aye for an eye it is, then."

What did the pirate say on his 80th birthday?

I'M EIGHTY!
(Aye Matey!)

Matey joke, Why did the pirate go ashore?