Matey Jokes
43 matey jokes and hilarious matey puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about matey that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Funniest Matey Short Jokes
Short matey jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The matey humour may include short matt jokes also.
- What did the pirate say when he turned 80? Aye matey
(This is an old joke I saw. But haven't seen it here in a while. So I figured some of you might get a small laugh out of this) - A pirate walks into a bar The bartender says to him:
"Hey pirate, are you aware there's a steering wheel coming from your zipper?"
The pirate replies:
"AARRGHH matey, it's drivin' me nuts!" - Why didn't the pirate chessplayer enjoy his crackers? Because they were stale, matey!
- What was the chicken eating pirate's favorite Elvis Presley song? Yargh! "Love Me Tender," matey!
- What's a pirate's favorite move in chess? Check, matey.
- What did the blackbird say when he turned eighty? "Aye, matey!"
- What will Steve the Pirate (Alan Tudyk) say 34 years from today? Aye matey!
- What did the pirate say when he became an octogenarian? Aye matey.
- Why was the pirate arrested for polygamy? He kept on and on about his mateys.
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Matey One Liners
Which matey one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with matey? I can suggest the ones about checkmate and meaty.
- What did the pirate say on his 80th birthday? Aye Matey!
- What did the pirate say on his 80th birthday? Aye matey
- 'How old arr you?' asked one of the pirate's sailors. The pirate replied, 'Aye matey.'
- Why did the pirate update his Macbook? His matey told him he needed an iPatch
- Yesterday I met a pirate that wouldn't stop telling me about his age. Aye matey.
- Why did the pirate go ashore? For a little R & R, matey.
- What did one π rad say to the other π rad? "arrrr matey!"
- What do you call a pirate with military experience? Army Matey.
- What does a Pirate say on his Eightieth birthday? AYE MATEY!
- What do you call a fat pirate? A vast matey.
- How big of a "ye matey" should a pirate have A vast ye matey
- What did the Pirate say when he did a T-pose? Aye matey
- How do pirates celebrate the birth of Jesus A matey-vity scene
- On a pirate's birthday, I asked him how old he was His response: "Aye matey"
- What do you call a Pirate you share an apartment with? Your room-matey.
Cheeky Matey Jokes that Will Make You and Your Friends Chuckle
What funny jokes about matey you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean bob and matt jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make matey pranks.
The Fearsome Pirate
The most fearsome pirate captain on the seven seas is sailing through the Bermuda Triangle when suddenly his first mate comes up next to him and says "Sir, one of the King's ships has been sighted over the horizon. They're armed and we should be ready for battle."
The captain turns around and replies "Aye, thank you matey. Ready the cannons and bring me my red jacket."
The first mate is confused and asks the captain why he needs a red jacket. The captain replies "Arr, if I am shot and the crew sees that I'm bleeding they're liable to be afraid."
The first mate admires the captain's bravery, so he goes off to the captain's quarters to fetch his jacket. Once he comes above deck to find the captain, however, he realizes that just visible on the horizon is an enormous armada of ships - hundreds and hundreds of Royal Navy vessels coming towards them from every possible direction. They are completely surrounded.
The captain whispers to him:
"Aye, matey, find me brown pants."
Hard Times
A pirate was standing on the crow's nest and then he slipped and fell. He fell through the first floor, then he fell through the second floor, then he fell through the third floor and hit the bottom floor of the ship!
The first mate comes up to him and asks "Are ye all right matey?"
The pirate replies, "Arrr, yes... I've been through hardship before!"
A captain of a pirate ship is sailing the high seas...
when he encounters another ship. A fight breaks out amongst the two ships and the captain requests that his first mate fetch him his lucky red shirt. The captain leads his crew to victory, and after the fight, the first mate mentions that it must have been because of the lucky red shirt. The captain speaks up and says "No matey, I wear this shirt to hide the bloodstains so you will all keep fighting instead of tending to me". A few days later, the ship encounters the Black Pearl, the mightiest ship of the seas. The first mate asks the captain if he'd like his lucky red shirt. He replies "No matey, fetch me my brown pants".
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
What did the pirate say as he was sailing through Jamaica?
"X marks the p**..., matey."
Arrrrr Matey
These be pirate jokes....
Why can't pirates be EMT's?
They don't know CPRRRRRrrr..
Why did the Pirate take a vacation?
For a little ArRR and ARRRRrrr...
What do they teach at Pirate Elementary?
The three Arrrrrrs...
What TV show do pirates watch?
E.Rrrrrrr.
Why did the pirates need GPS?
So that they could know where they arrrr...
What would Popeye say if he were a pirate?
"I are what I rrrrrrrr..."
there ya be.....
So a pirate walks into a grocery store...
And he asks for blubber. The clerk is amazed to see a pirate and exclaims "Are you *really* a pirate!?"
"Aye, matey."
"Whale: aisle B!" replied the surprised-yet-helpful clerk.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Two pirates were aboard the Queen Anne's Revenge discussing the upcoming pirate captain's election
One says to the other: "Arrr matey, I'll give ye my clear glass eye if ye give me yer vote for captain tomorrow."
The other considers the proposal for a moment, then squeezes his fake wooden eye out of its socket, throws it overboard, spits on his hand and offers it to the first pirate.
"Arrr, an Aye for an eye it is, then."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Unfortunate pirate
Two pirates, Morty and Sol, meet in a bar. Sol has a patch over one eye, a hook for a hand, and a wooden peg leg. Ye gads, matey, says Morty. What happened to ya?
Sol says, Me pirate ship was attacked, and a lucky shot lopped off me leg. So now I got me a wooden peg.
And yer hand? asks Morty.
When me ship sank, a shark bit me hand off. So now I got me a hook.
OK, but what's with the eye patch?
I was standin' on a dock, and the biggest seagull I ever saw poops right in me eye.
But ya don't go blind from no seagull p**....
True, says Sol. But it was me first day with the hook.
