Maternity Ward Jokes
29 maternity ward jokes and hilarious maternity ward puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about maternity ward that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Funniest Maternity Ward Short Jokes
Short maternity ward jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The maternity ward humour may include short maternity jokes also.
- The wife just gave me a massive bollocking for throwing a snowball at our son. To top it off, I've been banned from the maternity ward
- My wife is furious at me for throwing a snowball at my son. On top of it, I am permanently banned from the maternity ward.
- Sources say Amazon to invest in maternity wards in hopes of expanding their delivery services.
- In a maternity ward, a new father is worried that his wife might have been unfaithful... "Do you think he even looks like me?" he asks the nurse.
"Yeah, but it's OK. At least he's healthy." - Why did the cannibals go to the maternity ward? They felt like having something delivered for dinner.
- At the maternity ward a new father, worried, asks the midwife "Do you think my son looks like me ?"
"Yes, but don't worry, the important thing is that he is in good health" - You know how they serve guacamole at restaurants but some places will come to the table and show you how it's made? They should do that at maternity wards.
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Maternity Ward One Liners
Which maternity ward one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with maternity ward? I can suggest the ones about psychiatric ward and baby maternity.
- Where is the worst place to be on Opposite Day? The maternity ward
- A maternity ward was overflowing one national holiday It was Labor day
- What is a nurse in the maternity ward's favorite kind of food? Delivery.
- I was spawn camping the other day... In the maternity ward.
- How do you call a t**... in a maternity ward? A baby boom.
Loads of Fun with Charming Humor Maternity Ward Jokes
What funny jokes about maternity ward you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean delivery room jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make maternity ward pranks.
A blonde, a brunette and a redhead are in a maternity ward, waiting to give birth.
The brunette says, "I think I'm having a boy because when we conceived, my husband was on top".
The redhead smiles and says, "in that case, I'm having a girl. I'm always on top!"
At this, the blonde starts crying hysterically. The other two calm her down and ask her what's wrong.
"I'm having puppies!" she sobs
An Englishman, a Frenchman and an Indian man were all in the maternity ward of a hospital ready to collect their babies.
When a midwife comes over to them and explains, "I'm sorry gentlemen, but there's been a mix-up with the babies and we no longer know whose is whose."
The Englishman immediately goes over to the brown baby and picks it up.
The midwife asks, "are you sure that's your baby, sir?"
"No" says the Englishman, "but there's no way I'm going home with a french one!"
maternity ward
A woman and her husband are in the maternity ward where the woman is giving birth. As soon as the baby comes out the doctor grabs it and starts flailing it around beating it on the table and walls. 10 seconds later as couple is freaking out he stops and says "Haha, Just kidding. It was already dead."
An English man, a Welsh man and a Pakistani man sat waiting in a maternity ward.
The nurse came into the waiting room holding 3 babies.
sorry gentlemen, there was a little mixup with who's baby is who's.
Sighed the Nurse.
The english man got to his feet and picked up an Asian baby, heading to the exit.
Hold on, that is clearly my child!
The Pakistani man exclaimed.
The English man turned and replied:
There's 2 white babies there and a 50/50 chance I pick a welsh one.
A doctor comes out to the maternity ward waiting room holding a newborn baby and suddenly drops him to the floor.
Seeing the father's shocked face, he laughs and says: "Haha, got you. Don't worry, he was born dead".
Maternity Ward
So I was at a matetinity ward with my friend. His wife & him just had their first baby, and he told me to go buy a pizza to celebrate. I brought back a frozen Digiorno brand pizza. My friend got mad mad like what the heck this is frozen? I responded, Well your wife had a C-section so I got this because it's not delivery.
A Baptist, a Catholic, and a m**... are in the maternity ward. The Baptist says, “One more son and I have a basketball team.” The Catholic says, “That’s nothing, one more kid and I have a baseball team.” The m**... guy says, “That’s nothing, one more wife and I have a golf course.”
Three men, a Republican, a Brit and a Jamaican
all in the maternity ward waiting for their partners to give birth. The midwife comes out and tells them congratulations, they're all fathers of beautiful healthy boys, however, unfortunately they've run out of the name tags, and the babies have been mixed up, so if they could each go in and identify their sons from any family resemblance etc. The Brit wants to go first, so in he goes and comes out with a black baby The Jamaican looks a bit confused, "excuse me", he said, "but don't you think he's likely to be mine ?" "Probably", said the Brit, "but one of them in there's a Republican, and I'm takin' no chances !!!!!"
An Israeli man, a Palestinian man, and an Ethiopian man are in a maternity ward waiting room.
An Israeli man, a Palestinian man, and an Ethiopian man are in a maternity ward waiting room. The nurse walks in and explains that there's been a terrible mix up with the babies, and that the fathers are going to have to figure out amongst themselves which baby belongs to whom. The Israeli man springs up out of his chair and volunteers to go first.
A few minutes later the Israeli man returns holding a newborn baby in his arms. The baby is clearly Ethiopian.
The Ethiopian man shouts in anger "Hey! I KNOW that baby is MINE!" to which the Israeli man replies: "One of the two babies left is Palestinian, and I'm not taking any chances!"
A Jew, an Irishman, and a black man are in a maternity ward...
A Jew, an Irishman, and a black man are in a maternity ward waiting room. The nurse walks in and explains that there's been a terrible mix up with the babies, and that the fathers are going to have to figure out amongst themselves which baby belongs to whom. The Irishman springs up out of his chair and volunteers to go first.
A few minutes later the Irishman returns holding a newborn black-skinned baby in his arms.
The black man shouts in anger "Now, I KNOW that baby is MINE!" to which the Irishman replies: "One of those babies is Jewish, and I'm not taking any chances!"
An Englishman, a Welshman and a Pakistani man were sat in the waiting room of the maternity ward at the local hospital...
An Englishman, a Welshman and a Pakistani man were sat in the waiting room of the maternity ward at the local hospital.
A nurse comes out and says to the men "I'm sorry, but there's a been a mix-up and we don't know which baby belongs to which mother. Any chance one of you could come in and see if you can help?"
The Englishman stands up and says that he'll help. He walks into the ward and, a couple of minutes later walks out with what is obviously a Pakistani baby. The Pakistani man stands up and shouts "What do you think you're doing?!"
And the Englishman said "Look, one of those babies in there is Welsh, and I'm not taking any chances."
At the maternity ward...
Three men sit in the maternity ward of a hospital. The orderly comes in and says to the first man "Congratulations sir! you are the proud father of two healthy twins!" the man replies "Hah! what a coincidence! I work at Twin City Motors!" whereupon he h**... into the ward to be with his wife. a few minutes pass, before the orderly returns and says to the second man "Congratulations, sir! you are the proud father of three healthy triplets!" to which he replies "Hah! what a coincidence! I work for Triple A!" before going into the ward to be with his wife. A few hours pass but eventually the orderly comes back into the room, and before she can say a thing, the third man jumps up, and tears down the hall screaming. "Sir! what's wrong!" the orderly shouts, chasing after him. The man shouts over his shoulder "I work for Ten Thousand Auto Parts!"