Materialistic Jokes
18 materialistic jokes and hilarious materialistic puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about materialistic that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Funniest Materialistic Short Jokes
Short materialistic jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The materialistic humour may include short philosophical jokes also.
- I'm worried my wife is going to make our baby too materialistic. Every time she tickles the baby, she says "Gucci Gucci Gucci!"
- If I had a penny for every time somebody said I was materialistic... I'd probably be able to afford some Gucci socks.
- Someone just called me materialistic. I felt like choking them with my Vivienne Westwood belt.
- Materialists don't really think about whether the glass is half full or half empty. They care more about whether the glass is expensive.
- How do you destroy one of the many materialistic, boring and vapid white girl bots? Put her in a room with another one.
- My girlfriend left me because I'm too materialistic. I said, "Don't slam the door on your way out.."
- How do you turn down a materialistic woman? Tell her: liking you for your money makes her a gold digger...
...and it's a felony to sleep with a miner.
Share These Materialistic Jokes With Friends
Materialistic One Liners
Which materialistic one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with materialistic? I can suggest the ones about nihilistic and selfish.
- Short people are materialistic. Tall people are bigger than that. They can see past it.
- My parents say I'm too materialistic... Sent this from my new iPhone 6s Plus by the way.
Silly & Ridiculous Materialistic Jokes to Spread Joy & Laughter
What funny jokes about materialistic you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean cynical jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make materialistic pranks.
A lawyer is out for a drive when he gets violently sideswiped, seemingly out of nowhere.
A police officer arrives at the scene to take his statement, but the driver keeps ranting on and on about the damage to his car.
"My beautiful BMW! The g**... door was torn right off!"
The police officer rolls his eyes and says "You lawyers are so materialistic it makes me sick. Here you are, going on about your precious car, and you didn't even notice your left arm was torn off in the c**...."
The man looks down at the b**... stump, and with mounting horror, exclaims, "*My Rolex!*"
A lawyer opens his car door on the side of the road
as a car flies past and takes off his door. Stunned, he quickly looks around and spots a police officer nearby. "Officer, you saw that guy just hit my brand new Porsche, you have to do something!" The officer can't believe what he is seeing and shakily replies, "Sir, how can you lawyers be so materialistic? Do you not realize that your entire left arm is also missing?" The lawyer quickly looks at his left arm and yells, "No, my Rolex!"
A lawyer was in his BMW...
...when he opened the door to get out, an oncoming truck hit the door, ripping it off, and went on. The lawyer calls the cops.
Lawyer (Whining) : Officer, look what happened to my beamer.
Officer : You lawyers are so materialistic it makes me sick. You are so worried about your car that you did not notice that your arm is missing as well.
Lawyer (in shock) : Oh my God! Where's my Rolex?
A man is driving his car when suddenly the door of a parked car is swung open in front of him.
He proceeds to smash into the door of the car, ripping it off. He stops to see another man, in a very expensive suit, jump out of the car and scream at him "you just ripped the door off my lovely Porsche!".
The first man says "You are so materialistic...you didn't even notice that you left arm was ripped off in the accident".
The second man looks down for a second, then screams "my Rolex!"
A Girl Was About to Celebrate her 18th Birthday
The mother asked the girl what would she like as a gift.
As the girl was not materialistic, she said even a heartfelt message that will make her cry will suffice.
And the mother said "you're adopted".
A lawyer goes to attend a function in his BMW.
On reaching there, he meets a friend and starts talking, his car parked nearby. A car suddenly comes crashing into his BMW, nearly taking a door off. The lawyer, howls at the top of his lungs, "LOOK WHAT THEY HAVE DONE TO MY BEAMER!!" His friend remarks, "You lawyers are so pathetically materialistic, you didn't even notice that he ripped your wrist off!" The lawyer looks at his bloodied hand, and nearly fainting, exclaims "WHERE'S MY ROLEX?!"
A lawyer parks his brand new BMW on the curb and opens the door as a car drives by and smashes through the door.
The lawyer quickly spots a police officer across the street and shouts: «Officer, officer, did you see what just happened? That car smashed off the door on my brand new BMW!» «Oh, my god,» replies the officer. «You lawyers are so materialistic. You stand there whining about your car and you haven't even noticed your left arm has been ripped off!». The lawyer goes: «What!? Where's my Rolex!?»
A modernist, materialist, and postmodernist decide to drive to a bar.
The modernist looks over the menu, and decides that he doesn't want anything on there, instead proceeding to describe his ideal drink to the bartender.
The bartender was clearly annoyed by this, but wrote down the order anyway. After the bartender was done, the materialist asked how much does it cost? . The bartender said, clearly annoyed with having to make the drink in the first place a hundred dollars . The materialist was enraged by this, and tried to haggle down the price.
The postmodernist was outside trying to find a parking space.
