The Best 61 Material Jokes

Following is our collection of funniest Material jokes. There are some material softer jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud. Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these material advancement puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Funny Material Jokes and Puns

An engineer, a physicist, and a mathematician are trying to set up a fenced-in area for some sheep...

but they have a limited amount of building material. The engineer gets up first and makes a square fence with the material, reasoning that it's a pretty good working solution. "No no," says the physicist, "there's a better way." He takes the fence and makes a circular pen, showing how it encompasses the maximum possible space with the given material.

Then the mathematician speaks up: "No, no, there's an even better way." To the others' amusement he proceeds to construct a little tiny fence around himself, then declares:

"I define myself to be on the outside."

Ethics done right

A father is explaining ethics to his son, who is about to go into business. "Suppose a woman comes in and orders a hundred dollars worth of material. You wrap it up, and you give it to her. She pays you with a $100 bill. But as she goes out the door you realize she's given you two $100 bills. Now, here's where the ethics come in: should you or should you not tell your partner?"

Why do hippies like corduroy?

Because the material is so groovy.

Material joke, Why do hippies like corduroy?

A gorgeous student walks into her professor's office...

She says "Professor I'm really struggling in your class."

He say's "Ok it's good you're here then, what can I help you with?"

"Well I don't quite understand the material but honestly, I would do anything to pass."

"Anything?" He asks.

She leans in close and softly says "Anything."

He leans in closer, almost whispering as he asks:

"Would you, study?"

Discipline is important

A wife calls her husband into their son's room. She says, "Look what I found under Johnny's bed!" as she points to a suitcase filled with whips, paddles, canes, and cat–o'–nine–tails of every size, color, and material. "What are we going to do with him?" she asks. The father looks at the suitcase, looks at his son, and looks at his wife. He says, "Whatever we do we shouldn't spank him."


Did you hear about the pizza boy who wanted to become a comedian? (OC)

His material is terrible, but his delivery is amazing!

What's a pirates favorite material?

~~Arrrgyle~~*YARRRN!*^Thanks ^Bravesurf

Material joke, What's a pirates favorite material?

I tried to make friends at a midget convention by telling some jokes

But all my material went over their heads.

When I started doing stand-up, I didn't have a lot of my own material, so I used to steal Mitch Hedberg jokes

I still do, but I used to too.

Call of Duty is the most environmentally friendly video game franchise.

... because each game is made from 90% recycled material.

A textile worker tried to come up with a new original joke.

But they ran out of material.

You can explore material properties reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean material submit dad jokes. There are also material puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.


What material do african blacksmiths use the most?

Steel.

Most Intelligent But Funniest

An engineer, a physicist and a mathematicians have to build a fence around a flock of sheep, using as little material as possible. The engineer forms the flock into a circular shape and constructs a fence around it. The physicist builds a fence with an infinite diameter and pulls it together until it fits around the flock. The mathematicians thinks for a while, then builds a fence around himself and defines himself as being outside.

What's the most useful material?

Scratch. You can make anything from scratch.

Scientists discovered a revolutionary material with infinite length and zero depth

... but then they realized No Man's Sky was invented already.

The Sperm is made up of Glucose........

MBBS Professor:

The Sperm is made up of Glucose, the same material Sugar is made of.

A Girl raised her hand:

"Then why doesn't it

taste like Sugar?"

Suddenly silence in hall.

Girl:Oops.

Then Professor's reply was also a Medical master piece:

My dear, Thats because, the taste buds are located on the tip of your Tongue and not at the end of your Throat

Killer .

Material joke, The Sperm is made up of Glucose........

What material should you never use to create or build with?

Tin that was mined by moles. Anything you make with it melts immediately.

What is a pirates favourite material?

Yarrrn

It's 3 am. Just smoked a fatty. Just trying to make up new material with my parrot. I think i just thought of a good one but I may just be...

Too stoned with one bird.


What letter do pirate's hate the most?

Dear Charter Internet Customer:

Charter Communications ("Charter") has been notified by a copyright owner, or its authorized agent, that your Internet account may have been involved in the exchange of unauthorized copies of copyrighted material (e.g., music, movies, or software). We are attaching a copy of the Digital Millennium Copyright Act (DMCA) notice that Charter received from the copyright holder which includes the specific allegation.

What material are the Pink Panther's jeans made out of?

Denim Deniiiiiiiimmmmmm

My friend is trying to convince me to replace all my skin with a plush brown material

But I won't be suede

I found a place where 98% of the material is recycled.

Congress.

Why are leaves bad material for parachutes?

because they don't survive the fall (autumn)

Why did the Mechanical Engineer stop studying material science?

They just couldn't handle the stress.

I was working at a transportation company that specializes in construction material

I'm a screwdriver

Amy Schumer gets mad when people describe her as fat, slutty, and disgusting..

because she doesn't like when people steal her material.

Stop making jokes about how fat and disgusting Amy Schumer is.

You're stealing her material.

My teacher said that before we start our new book, "it's best we say the N word a couple times out loud, just get it out of our system".

I've seen this help students reading old material and I could definitely see why some English teachers do this, but I had no idea why my Calculus teacher was having us try it out.

NASA says they've found organic material on Mars...

...but they're probably just putting 'organic ' on the label so they can mark up the prices by 200%

The comedy industry is ridiculously sexist.

Zach Galifinakis can tell a joke to a full theatre and the audience would love it. If Amy Schumer told the same joke a week later in the same theatre to the same audience, she'd be accused of stealing material

Reposting a joke is like buying a piece of clothing...

you use other people's material to make yourself look good.

What do you call a dolphin that doesn't know what to do with its life?

A porpoise without a purpose.

This is my own material, be kind :)

What's a Russian's favorite clothing material?

Lenin

There was a material election, and glass, wood, and plastic were the candidates.

Glass was becoming the clear winner.

Hey girl, are you a Firestarter?

Because you're definitely tinder material.

My friends all call me a chick magnet.

However due to my lack of ferromagnetic material in my chemical makeup I can can't seem to think of what repels all these girls.

If you can't hear your boyfriend's truck from 4 blocks away...

..you have husband material right there

What is a rare material in the bee community?

Hiveory

I was feeling pretty down on my birthday...

... Because I hadn't had any luck with the ladies recently. A friend of mine told me that he could set me up with someone, and I got pretty excited. He showed me a picture, and I got even more excited. Then he told me she wasn't "girlfriend material", but would probably bang me just because it was my birthday.

I told him it's the thot that counts.

LPT: If you are sick of hearing duplicate tracks on Spotify's stand-up comedy playlists,

Just delete all of the Amy Schumer material, and it should flow a lot smoother.

A catholic choir is composing their own material.

Sweet Gsus, but I think what we need here is A minor.

What do you do if your girlfriend tells you she is HIV positive?

Tell her this is a crappy repost, and ask her to come up with some better material.

If I gather my material, wood you like to hear a joke?

I sure wood, but it's steel hard to come up with one.

What material does Mario use for his pants?

Denim denim denim

I have never considered any of my coworkers as dating material

...until the boss said "We are a family".

The seamstress tried her hand at making jokes.

But this time she was all out of material.

So there was a police officer and his police dog...

The officer called the dog Joke, as it made him laugh always. Regardless, he loved the dog. However, one day the dog was demoted and reassigned to another Buddhist officer who wanted a dog to help him abstain from material things. The first officer was, of course upset. One of his friends he worked with asked what was wrong, and the first officer said, Well, it should be obvious. My Joke's been reposted for more karma!

What do you call jokes written on paper?

Material.

I wasn't going to make a joke about Zion's shoe exploding...

Between stitches, an asian kid told me "You don't have quality material" insisting "[I] put myself in his shoes. Just for a minute. Just do it!"

Every time he told a joke, someone would immediately shout out the punchline....

Dad sighed, "I guess I need to go out and buy a loom."

The kids replied, "Why is that?"

Dad responded, "Because I need to make some new material!"

What's made up of 100% recyclable material?

Front page of Reddit

An engineer, a physicist and a mathematicians have to build a fence around a flock of sheep, using as little material as possible.

The engineer forms the flock into a circular shape and constructs a fence around it.

The physicist builds a fence with an infinite diameter and pulls it together until it fits around the flock.

The mathematicians thinks for a while, then builds a fence around himself and defines himself as being outside.

I think Louis CK has been misunderstood.

He was testing out new material. He just wanted to see whether women would laugh at his junk!

Herbert the Pervert Has a Favorite Construction Material, What is it?

Sement.

We learn from our mistakes –

and never lack for study material.

Trump reportedly asked to be added to Mount Rushmore

Turns out granite isn't a dense enough material to represent him

I was doing a lab on nuclear decay and at first it worked like expected, but when 3/4 of the material had decayed it suddenly stopped

It seems like there will never be a half life 3

I created a poll to see if people preferred pillows stuffed with bird feathers or pillows stuffed with synthetic material.

Synthetic material didn't win. Too many down votes.

I work as a comedian in China, and the authorities are always vetting my material.

>!everythIng is Always Moderated wIthiN a Justified mAnner, precIse and Legitimate. !<

Reddit has gone fully green to help the environment.

Their front page is made of 100% recycled material.

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the material manufacturers jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working material research piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

Joko Jokes