Mater Jokes

What are some Mater jokes?

What's the most useful material?

Scratch. You can make anything from scratch.

Materialist Lawyer

A lawyer is getting out of his car when another vehicle comes along and rips the door right off the hinges. A cop sees the whole thing and comes over to assist the lawyer who is screaming profanities at the driver of the other vehicle.

The cop asks, "Are you alright, sir?"

The lawyer responds, "Of course not you fricking idiot! Did you see what that guy just did to my Jaguar? You're going to arrest him, right?"

The cop just shakes his head, "You lawyers are so materialistic. I'll bet you haven't even realized your arm is missing."

The lawyer looks down where is missing arm should be and screams, "Oh my god, my Rolex!"

maternity ward

A woman and her husband are in the maternity ward where the woman is giving birth. As soon as the baby comes out the doctor grabs it and starts flailing it around beating it on the table and walls. 10 seconds later as couple is freaking out he stops and says "Haha, Just kidding. It was already dead."

I can't believe how materialistic you lawyers are!

A lawyer parks his brand new Porsche in front of the office to show it off to his colleagues.

As he's getting out of the car, a truck comes speeding along too close to the kerb and takes off the door before zooming off.

Five minutes later, the police arrive. Before the policeman has a chance to ask any questions, the man starts screaming hysterically: 'My Porsche, my beautiful silver Porsche is ruined. It'll simply never be the same again!'

After the man finally finishes his rant, the policeman shakes his head in disgust.

'I can't believe how materialistic you lawyers are,' he says. 'You are so focused on your possessions that you don't notice anything else in your life.'

'How can you say such a thing at a time like this?' sobs the Porsche owner.

The policeman replies, 'Didn't you realise that your left arm was torn off when the truck hit you?'

The lawyer looks down in horror.

'FUCKING HELL!' he screams........'My Rolex!!!'

At the maternity ward...

Three men sit in the maternity ward of a hospital. The orderly comes in and says to the first man "Congratulations sir! you are the proud father of two healthy twins!" the man replies "Hah! what a coincidence! I work at Twin City Motors!" whereupon he hoes into the ward to be with his wife. a few minutes pass, before the orderly returns and says to the second man "Congratulations, sir! you are the proud father of three healthy triplets!" to which he replies "Hah! what a coincidence! I work for Triple A!" before going into the ward to be with his wife. A few hours pass but eventually the orderly comes back into the room, and before she can say a thing, the third man jumps up, and tears down the hall screaming. "Sir! what's wrong!" the orderly shouts, chasing after him. The man shouts over his shoulder "I work for Ten Thousand Auto Parts!"

What material do african blacksmiths use the most?


What material are the Pink Panther's jeans made out of?

Denim Deniiiiiiiimmmmmm

There was a material election, and glass, wood, and plastic were the candidates.

Glass was becoming the clear winner.

I'm writing a children's book about a female otter that goes to college.

It's called Alma Otter's alma mater.

In a maternity ward, a new father is worried that his wife might have been unfaithful...

"Do you think he even looks like me?" he asks the nurse.
"Yeah, but it's OK. At least he's healthy."

A maternity ward was overflowing one national holiday

It was Labor day

In a maternity hospital the wife delivered a son.

In a maternity hospital the wife delivered a son.
The husband asked his wife: "I am white, you are white, why is it that the child is black?"
The wife replied: "I am hot and you are hot. The child must have been burnt

What material does Mario use for his pants?

Denim denim denim

What material should you never use to create or build with?

Tin that was mined by moles. Anything you make with it melts immediately.

What material do they use to make tools in China?


Materialists don't really think about whether the glass is half full or half empty.

They care more about whether the glass is expensive.

How to make Mater jokes?

We have collected gags and puns about Mater to have fun with. Do you want to stand out in a crowd with a good sense of humour joking about Mater? If Yes here are a lot more hilarious lines and funny Mater pick up lines to share with friends.

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