Mate Jokes
150 mate jokes and hilarious mate puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about mate that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
From funny, tongue-in-cheek puns to rib-tickling one-liners, this article has it all! Get ready to giggle as you explore the best mate jokes! These funny jokes and puns are sure to be a hit with your companion, friend, first mate, or matey. Yerba mate, anyone? Enjoy this collection of jokes perfect for sharing with your favorite mate!
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Funniest Mate Short Jokes
Short mate jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The mate humour may include short mare jokes also.
- A mugger jumps out in front of a university student... ...and shouts "your money or your life!"
The student keeps walking, and says "Sorry mate, I'm a computer science student. I don't have either". - I slept with my best mate's wife last night and now I feel terrible. She must have given me a cold or something.
- I bought a chessboard cake from the bakers last week. Took one bite, looked up, and said "it's stale mate".
He seemed surprised, said "no, mate".
So I handed him the cake and said "check mate". - I told my mate I'd built a model of the Himalayas. He said "To scale?"
I said "No, just to look at" - Awful pun I came up with whilst drunk last night. Who is the australian Frankesntein's favourite singer?
Rihanna, mate. - My mate just watched the Chernobyl documentary and, having grown up in Ukraine in the 1980s, he was pretty mad. And I get it, too. He counted at least eight historical inaccuracies on one hand.
- It was my son's birthday, so I took 4 of his mates for a burger and then bowling. They had a great time, he would have loved it
- My girlfriend was devastated to find out that my mates call me 'The Love Machine' because I'm terrible at tennis.
- A Man walks into a pet shop and asks the owner "Do you have any chameleons?" (Looks around) No idea mate.
- I finally married my Korean wife whom I met in a penpal site few years ago.. She's my Seoul mate.
Share These Mate Jokes With Friends
Mate One Liners
Which mate one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with mate? I can suggest the ones about maid and mast.
- What do you call 2 monkeys that share an amazon account? Prime mates.
- My mate David was a victim of ID theft Now we just call him Dav
- Why did Cruz pick Carly Fiorina as his running mate? To lay off his campaign staff.
- Male bees die after mating. That's basically their entire lives. Honey. nut. Cheerio.
- I'm never going to find a soul mate. I really only find redheads attractive.
- My house-mate is terrified of negative numbers He'll stop at nothing to avoid them.
- How do Australians know who won the chess game? They check, mate.
- I married a european chess master. He's my Czech mate.
- How did the Australian pay for his new chess set? Cheque, mate.
- I've never been good at chess. Unlike my Czech mate.
- I played chess with my friend from Central Europe. Czech mate.
- Why do lions only mate in the summer? Because the pride cometh before the fall
- Did you hear about the monkeys who shared an Amazon account? They were prime mates.
- Made an Eastern European friend on a chess forum. He was my Czech mate.
- I'm sure my mate is having an affair with my wife... He's been proper miserable lately.
First Mate Jokes
Here is a list of funny first mate jokes and even better first mate puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- A pirate captain asks his first mate "Find out what be the Roman numeral for the two" "Aye aye! " responds the first mate
- My mate is in a band called NS. At first, I was fascinated to find out what it stands for. But now I'm not too bothered. It's nothing special.
- What do you call it when a sailor loses his virginity? First mate.
- A pirate captain says to his first mate... Where are my buccaneers?
Aye Cap'n, they're the sides of your buccan' head! - A biologist is sent to prison, The first words he says to his cell mate, "I am the mitochondria."
- Just made a bet with my mate about who would get married first He said may the best man win.
I said I'm not sure that's how this works mate. - Me and my mate were playing darts he said "Nearest to bull starts?", I said "Baa," he said "Moo," I said "You're first then."
- Why are Prisoners referred to as "inmates"? Because, on their first night, they're most likely to have said to them: "I'm putting it in, mate!"
- What did the Navy battleship captain say to his first mate during a skirmish? I think I'm feeling C6
- I told an Aussie friend I was having trouble rooting my phone He replied, "Maybe try buying it dinner first, mate. "
Running Mate Jokes
Here is a list of funny running mate jokes and even better running mate puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- My mate asked me to do a charity 5 mile run... I said no. He then told me it was for blind and disabled people.
I then thought.. I could actually win this. - If we can get Al Franken to run for President, with the Green Party candidate as his running mate, my bumper sticker would be... Franken Stein 2020
- Q.: "Governor, what would you say if Trump picked you as his running mate?" Christie: "I'll close down that bridge when I get to it."
- Flat mate saw me chopping furiously in the kitchen He said "why are you cutting up rosemary so fast"? I said cos I've run outta thyme
- What do you throw to a drowning politician? Their running mate.
- Why did Hillary put an Australian athlete on her ticket? She needed a good running mate.
- I hope that Senator Franken runs for President in 2020 and picks Jill Stein as his running mate That'd be a real Franken/Stein ticket
- I lived with my friend who got run over He was my flat mate.
- Joe Biden is very close to making a decision about a female Vice Presidential running mate. Sources close to the matter have stated that he's already given several of them his digits.
- Donald Trump just announced Mike Pence to be his Running Mate. If Hillary wants to one up Trump in that regard, her running mate should be Mike Tuppence.
Males Mate Jokes
Here is a list of funny males mate jokes and even better males mate puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- Me: You know, the female black widow spider kills the male spider after mating. I don't understand why? Wife: I'm pretty sure it's to stop the male from snoring before it starts
- How does a male potato chip mate with a female potato chip? He Lay's on her.
- My mate went to Alaska and fell in love with both a male and female bear... He's Bipolar..
- The female Praying Mantis devours the male right after mating. It's easier to collect life insurance than child support.
- Male preying mantises when mating season starts: finally! Male preying mantises after mating season:
- Did you know that only 1 in 5 male bullfrogs survive after mating? And the last one was never the same.
- My local zoo finally figured out why they couldn't get the Male alligator to mate with any of the females. Turns out he had ereptile dysfunction.
- The female praying mantis devours her male within minutes of mating, whereas ... the female human stretches it out over a lifetime!
- According to my mate 3 genders exist. Female
Male
And mental illness - Why did all the female pandas want to mate with that one male panda? Because he had the big bamboo.
Attract Mate Jokes
Here is a list of funny attract mate jokes and even better attract mate puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- How do mummies attract mates? Pharaoh-mones!
- They say a man's attractiveness is tied to his chess ability... Unfortunately, I'm really bad at mating.
- How do werewolves attract mates? They *awoooo* them
Yerba Mate Jokes
Here is a list of funny yerba mate jokes and even better yerba mate puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- What is an Australian's favorite tea? Yerba Mate
Cheeky Mate Jokes that Will Make You and Your Friends Chuckle
What funny jokes about mate you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean mere jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make mate pranks.
The guy sat next to me on the train pulled out a photo of his wife and said, She's beautiful, isn't she? I said, If you think she's beautiful, you should see my girlfriend mate.
He said, Why? Is she a stunner? I said, No, she's an optician.
I'll never forget the day I met my wife.
We were at a fancy dress party. She was stood there, looking gorgeous and slim, with her fat mate. They'd gone together, dressed as the number ten.
I knew there and then, she was the one.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Manual labour
My mate pointed out the window and said, "Is that your wife mowing the lawn out there?"
"Yeah, she never stops," I replied
"Call me old fashioned if you want, but I hate to see a woman doing manual labour."
"Me too," I replied, as I closed the curtains
my mate rang me earlier....
My mate rang me earlier and says "Hey dude, what you up to?" "Probably failing my driving test" I say
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
I walked out of my local shop today...
...and outside was a t**.... Same guy as always, but I'd never talked to him before. As I passed, he said, "Excuse me, I don't suppose you have a spare cigarette I can have?". I looked around, and I was the only person in the vacinity, so I knew he was talking to me. "Sorry mate, I don't smoke." I replied, which is true. He looked disappointed, but then asked hopefully "Any change?", I thought for a second before answering "Nope, still don't smoke."
Irish cream
The only cow in a small town in Ireland stopped giving milk. Then the town folk found they could buy a cow in Scotland quite cheaply. So, they brought the cow over from Scotland. It was absolutely wonderful, It produced lots of milk every day and everyone was happy. They bought a bull to mate with the cow to get more cows, So they'd never have to worry about their milk supply again. They put the bull in the pasture with the cow but no matter what approach the bull tried, the cow would move away from the bull. The people were very upset and decided to go to The Vet, who was very wise, tell him what was happening and ask his advice. " The Vet rubbed his chin thoughtfully and pondered this Before asking, "Did you by chance, buy this cow in Scotland ?" The people were dumbfounded, since no one had ever mentioned that they had brought the cow over from Scotland . "You are truly a wise Vet," they said. "How did you know we got the cow from Scotland ? The Vet replied with a distant look in his eye: "My wife is from Scotland "
maternity ward
A woman and her husband are in the maternity ward where the woman is giving birth. As soon as the baby comes out the doctor grabs it and starts flailing it around beating it on the table and walls. 10 seconds later as couple is freaking out he stops and says "Haha, Just kidding. It was already dead."
Methylated Spirit
A scruffy homeless man walks into a DIY store.
"Bottle of methylated spirit please."
"Look mate, no offense but I wasn't born yesterday. I can't sell that to you when I know you're just gonna drink it."
"Hey, what are you implying? This is ridiculous, I'm using it for woodwork!"
"All right, all right..." says the shopkeeper, taking a bottle of the shelf.
"Oh, haven't you got a cold one?"
My wife shouted upstairs, "the sun's just come out."
My wife shouted upstairs, "the sun's just come out." I thought great, threw on some shorts and flip flops and shot down the stairs. I was rather shocked when I got down to find our lad holding hands with his mate Michael.
Whenever my mate Dave starts stuttering, I always try and lighten the mood.
By pretending to scratch invisible turntables.
My mate lent me $5,000 to produce my idea of a fruit-based torch, then took all credit.
He stole my limelight.
A man with a stutter is visiting the doctor....
A man with a stutter is visiting the doctor.
"How's the stutter?", asks the doctor.
"It's g-getting better. My mate calls me D-Donkey," replies the man.
"Any idea why?" The doctor asks.
"No, but he aw he aw he aw he always calls me that."
An officer pulls up at the scene of an accident
where a car has driven through a field, killed several livestock and crashed into a barn. He decides to interview Steve who is struggling to keep his balance and is being propped up by Karen.
"Been out for a few have we mate?" asks the officer.
"Shuure ave mate" grins Steve.
"I realise you are very drunk sir," states the officer, "but that is absolutely no excuse to let your wife drive you home!"
What would a prisoner say to you if you left them on an island for fifty years?
G'day mate!
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A duck walks into a bar...
Duck: Got any bread?
Barman: No mate, this is a bar
Duck: Got any bread ?
Barman: No I've told you, we don't have bread here!
Duck: Got any bread?
Barman: Look, if you ask me that again I'm going to nail your beak to the bar.
Duck: Got any nails?
Barman: No.
Duck: Got any bread?
A Salmon under his arm
Man walks into a fish shop with a salmon under his arm and says to the fishmonger "You got any fishcakes mate?". The fishmonger replies "Course we do mate, it's a fish shop!". "GREAT" replies the man pointing to his salmon "It's his BIRTHDAY!"
A guy sees a sign that says, "Volunteers needed for medical experiment. $500 fee!"
So he goes in and they tell him they need humans to mate with gorillas. The guy thinks about it for a second, then says, "I'll do it under three conditions:
1) No one can find out that I did this.
2) If there are any offspring, they should be treated humanely.
3) I'm gonna need some time to come up with the $500."
A man is spending his first night in prison...
He's laying in his bunk when the lights go out. After a few minutes, he hears someone shout, "13!" followed by a chorus of laughter.
Another few minutes go by and he hears, "27!" followed by more laughter.
"What's going on?" he asks his cell mate.
"Well, we've heard the same jokes so many times, we just gave them all numbers so we don't have to waste time repeating them."
A little more time passes and then someone erupts, "34!" to a few guffaws.
The man decides to try and join in by yelling, "19!"
He is greeted by silence. He asks his bunkmate, "Why didn't they laugh?"
His bunkmate replies, "You didn't tell it right."
I had five hundred Kit Kats in my fridge and my mate had one in his. I pressured him into giving his to a homeless person.
That's basically how celebrity charity appeals work.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Why is it so confusing to play chess with an Australian?
Because every "check" is a "check, mate!"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A policeman knocked on my door this morning...
A policeman knocked on my door this morning, but I just locked it and sat there in complete silence.
After 20 seconds he knocked again, but I just continued to ignore it.
The knocks got louder and more frequent but I was determined not to move in the hope that he would just go away.
Then he decided to look through the window.
He shouted, "Do you think I'm s**...? I can see you in there, sir. Open the door."
I said, "You're not coming in mate!"
He said, "I don't want to come in, I just want you to step out of the car."
n Eskimo was out for a drive
An Eskimo is out for a drive one day when his car breaks down and is forced to call a mechanic. Finally the mechanic arrives and he sets to work, looking under the bonnet until he locates the problem. He looks up at the Eskimo and says, "You've blown a seal, mate" to which the Eskimo hastily replies, "No I haven't! That's just frost on my moustache."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
My mate just hired an Eastern European cleaner, took her 15 hours to Hoover the house.
Turns out she was a Slovak.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
An Australian bin man knocks at the door of a Chinese guy
And asks 'where's ya bin mate'
The guy answers 'I bin watching TV!'
The Ozzie asks 'na mate where's ya wheelie bin'
The guy hangs his head and says 'I wheelie been w**...'
An Australian is visiting England...
He is from a small rural town and he does not know anything about traffic laws and street lights. He crosses a street and almost gets hit by a car. A police officer sees him and screams: "Oi! Did you come here to die?" The Australian replies with: "Nah mate, I came here yesterday!"
My favourite joke
So a guy goes into a pub, walks up to the bar and asks for a pint.
The barman replies: one pound please. The guy says back: only one pound?!
The barman replies: aye only a pound.
The guy takes his pint and enjoys it and after a few more pints at a pound each the guy feels cheeky.
The guy says: ill have a steak and chips mate.
The barman replies: three quid.
The guy then asked: do you own this pub?
The barman replies: no.
The guy then asked: wheres the boss then? I want to ask why the prices are so low.
The barman replies: he's upstairs with my wife.
The guy then asked: why? Whats he doing with your wife?
The barman replies: the same thing i'm doing to his business.
What do you call your friend from Prague who beat you at chess?
Your Czech mate
What's the most useful material?
Scratch. You can make anything from scratch.
It's WW1 on the straits of Gallipoli, the soldiers are ready to charge from their trenches.
The british officers decides to make a rousing speech to his troops: "Listen here lads, did you come here to die?" and the australian answers "Nah mate, I came 'ere yesterday!"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
I was sitting in church when a guy walked in and said hi to me.
He then walked up into the tower of the church and hit his face against the large bell a few times.
#b**... b**... b**...
He then walked back down the stairs and said "See you later mate" and walked out. As he left a few fellow church goers said to me, "Do you know that guy?"
I replied, "I don't think so, but his face rings a bell"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
My mate told me yesterday that he's started dating twins!
I asked how he could tell which one is which.
He said, 'Well, Andrea is really, really attractive - she has long blonde hair, sparkling blue eyes and plump red lips. Plus she's got a really nice body. Pretty much a perfect ten.
And Brian has a c**....'
A captain and his crew...
A crew mate runs to his captain "Captain! Captain! There is an enemy ship on the horizon! What do we do?" The captain replies "Grab me my red shirt." "Why?" The crew mate asks. "So that my crew doesn't see me bleeding from the battle." The captain replies. Another guy runs up "Captain! Captain! I have an update there are 7 more ships what should I do?" "Go get me my brown pants."
My mates called me stingy so I decided to buy them a beer.
Turns out they wanted one each.
I was playing chess with my Australian friend
He moved his queen in front of my king and said "check, mate".
I replied and said, "you didn't win though?"
Confused he said, "mate, I know."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Australians don't have s**...
Australians mate
Two tugboat captains have been friends for years.
They would always cry, "Aye!" and blow their whistles whenever they passed each other.
A new crewman asked his boat's mate, "What do they do that for?"
The mate looked surprised and replied, "You mean that you've never heard of ... an aye for an aye?"
A mate told me that he threw a stick over a mile and his dog caught and returned it.
Seems pretty far fetched to me.
Never let anyone put you down. Take my mate Jim for example. He was told just because he's deaf he can't play in an orchestra...
But did he listen...
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
I asked my mate if he could get me a job at the t**... factory where he works.
There's no openings at the moment, he said, but I'll see if I can pull some strings.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
How does a mummy attract a mate?
Pharaoh moans.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
So how long are you in for? I asked my cell mate.
Only for a couple of minutes, then I'm usually done he replied as he carried on thrusting.
My wife and I were on honeymoon at Australia last week.
I called up the Aussie helpline as we had a problem
"Aussie helpline, what's the problem?"
"Well, my wife and I were swimming yesterday, and a jellyfish stung her in her... uhm, lady parts. Anything we can do?"
"Ah, bummer mate"
"Perfect! I hadn't thought about that, thanks!"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
My mate asked me why I have s**... noises saved on my phone.
I said, It's for sound effects during s**....
He asked, Your wife a bit quiet in the sack?
I replied, No, I work in a morgue.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Vegans proven wrong again
If animals really didn't want to be eaten then why would they be made out of food?
Check mate vegans
Some bloke started talking to me in the pub last night.
"My mate came off his motorbike today," he said.
"Oh really?" I asked.
"Yes," he replied. "He has slight brain damage, two broken arms and is completely blind in one eye."
"Blimey," I said. "No wonder he came off it then."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Captain Hook is claiming that he was s**... assaulted by his first mate some years ago.
It's a classic case of he said, Smee said.
A man walks into a hardware store
So my grandpa just told this joke, it goes something like this:
A man walks into a hardware store looking for some nails, the shopkeeper walks up to him and asks how long do you want them mate? , the man responds nah I wanna keep em
Not sure if this has been posted before but I thought it was funny :)
What do chess and eating at a restaurant in Australia have in common?
They both end with a check mate
I went to see my mate Bruce today and asked his wife where he was.
She said he's out the back in the garden. I had a quick look but couldn't see him so went to ask his wife again.
She said, he's out there, you just have to dig a little deeper .
I ran into the pub and shouted to my mate. Dave! I've just saw your car being stolen."
He said Didn't you try to stop them?
I said, No, but don't worry. I got the registration.
After God created Adam, Adam came to God and said, You created all the animals and each one has a mate, but I'm alone. Can you create me one also?
God replied, Well Adam, I can create a mate for you. It will be the crown of my creation, someone who will serve you, and your every need and desire. The most beautiful and loving creature. She will take care of you always , and give you all the respect that is deserving of you. The only thing is, it will cost you an arm and a leg.
Adam thought for a second and said, What do you got for a rib?
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A taxi passenger
A taxi passenger tapped the driver on the shoulder to ask him a question.
The driver screamed, lost control of the car, nearly hit a bus, went up on the footpath, and stopped centimeters from a shop window.
For a second everything went quiet in the cab, then the driver said, "Look mate, don't ever do that again. You scared the daylights out of me?"
The passenger apologized and said, "I didn't realize that a little tap would scare you so much."
The driver replied, "Sorry, its not really your fault. Today is my first day as a cab driver - I've been driving a f**... van for the last 25 years."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
If you're concerned about your new partner's s**... history, and you don't want to catch g**... warts, imagine you're playing chess, not craps.
So don't roll the dice. Check first, and then mate.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
My friend said he hasn't had s**... because he's a child of God.
I said mate, that's not a good enough excuse. Jesus was a child of god and he still got nailed.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
This young lad gets in the elevator, I'm standing by the b**..., so he says "fifth floor mate?"
When we get there I say "There you go, son" and he says "Don't call me son! You're not my dad!"
And I say "No, but I brought you up, didn't I?"
Guy goes to a fancy dress party in a green jumpsuit carry a woman by piggy back.....
Doorman: You can't come in mate, you're not in fancy dress
Guy: Yes I am, I'm a tortoise
Doorman: well I can see you're wearing green, but what's with the woman on your back?
Guy: That's Michelle....
A husky, a pitbull, and a chihuahua are all fighting over a poodle.
Poodle says: "I'll only choose the mate who can use the words 'Liver' and 'Cheese' in one sentence..."
Husky: "Well that's easy, I love liver and I love cheese!"
Poodle: "That's not gonna work"
Pitbull: "I hate liver and I hate cheese!"
Poodle: "...No"
Chihuahua: "LIVER ALONE, CHEESE MINE!"
Two men are playing golf when one realises he's left his jacket at the last tee
He goes back to get it, stops halfway and turns back.
"What's up?" asks his mate.
"Well, you see those two women at the tee. One's my wife, and she's playing with my mistress."
His mate laughs and says, "No worries, I'll go get it for you."
He stops halfway, comes back, looks at his mate and says "Small world."
Two electricians are standing on a ladder leaned against a utility pole...
...when an elderly lady was passing below them. One of the electricians calls her.
\- Excuse me, ma'm! Could you pass us that wire, so we don't have to climb down?
\- This one, young man?
\- Yes, that one! Thank you so much, ma'm, you're very kind!
\- No problem, dear!
After the lady passed him the wire, and left, the electrician tells his mate:
\- See, Fred? I told you this was the neutral wire, but no, you had to insist that it was the phase line!
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Two Irish friends leave the pub.
Two Irish friends leave the pub.
One says to other, 'I can't be bothered to walk all the way home'. 'I know, me too but we've no money for a cab and we've missed the last bus home.
We could steal a bus from the depot' replies his mate.
They arrive at the bus depot and one goes in to get a bus while the other keeps a look-out.
After shuffling around for ages, the lookout shouts, 'What are you doing? Have you not found one yet?'
'I can't find a No. 91' 'Oh for goodness sake, ye thick sod, take the No. 14 and we'll walk from the roundabout.
A farmer has dozens of cows and two bulls, but both bulls are too old to mate anymore.
One day the famer brings a third bull into the field. The new bull is much younger than the other two, and immediately starts mating with cow after cow.
When the old bulls see this, one of them starts huffing, snorting, and scraping the ground with his hoof.
"Don't bother competing with that guy," says the other old bull. "You're too old. He'd laugh at you."
"I'm not trying to compete with him," replies the first old bull. "I just want him to know I'm not a cow."
Whenever the wife and I fight I sit down and watch my wedding video in reverse
I take the wedding band off her finger, hand her back to her dad and walk out of the chapel with my best mate
The first mate on a ship rarely drinks
The first mate on a ship rarely drinks, but the crew threw him a party on his birthday and went out of their way to get him drunk. The next morning he woke up with a hangover, and went to the bridge. He opened the ship's log and found that the captain had written, "The first mate got drunk last night". He complained to the captain saying that it was very rare. The captain defended his entry saying that it was the truth, wasn't it? The next day the captain opened the ship's log, and the first mate had written, "The captain was able to stay sober last night."
I told my mate he should cut down on drinking brake fluid
He said: 'I can stop anytime I like'
Did you know chess has a randomizer?
The results are across the board.
(I'll check myself out, mate)
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A prison inmate is talking to his new cell mate
A prison inmate is talking to his new cell mate.
Inmate #1: so, why are you here?
Inmate #2: I'm in prison for something I didn't do.
Inmate #1: yeah?
Inmate #2: yea, I didn't wipe off the fingerprints from the m**... weapon.
