matchbox Jokes

funny pick up lines and hilarious matchbox puns

Two brother sit under the christmas tree....

One gets dozens of presents. He opens one after another, a tablet, a drone, a bike and plenty other things.

The other only gets one present with his name on it: a matchbox car.

The one boy with all the presents maliciously asks: guess whom they like more!

The other, calmly playing with the matchbox car, asks back: guess who has cancer.


The Jewish Samurai [Long]

The Emperor of Japan loses his most trusted bodyguard, and sends out a proclamation to the whole empire: Bring forth the best samurai to show their skills, so that they may guard my life.

Three samurai enter the throne room: A samurai from Edo, A samurai from osaka, and a jew.

The first samurai bows to the emperor, then opens up a matchbox. A single fly comes out, and flies up. The samurai swings his sword once, and the fly drops dead in two pieces. The emperor is impressed.

The second samurai bows, opens a matchbox, and a fly comes out. His sword swings twice, and the fly drops dead in four pieces. The emperor stands and claps, even more impressed.

The jew comes up, bows before the emperor, and opens a matchbox. A fly comes out, the jew puts on his glasses, then proceeds to chase the fly around the throne room, swinging wildly. After about 30 swings, the jew re-sheathes his sword, and the fly flies away. The emperor is confused, and asks: "Why is the fly not dead?"

The jew's response? "Circumcision isn't meant to kill."


Old Aussie joke: Why is the lady on the Red Heads matchbox always smiling?

There are 48 heads in her box - of course she`s happy!


Every heard of the pussy eating frog?

A man walks into a local restaurant to grab a bite to eat. The waitress comes over and notices the man has a matchbox sitting on the table in front of him.

"What's in the box?" says the waitress. The man replies, "Well that there is a pussy eating frog! Would you like to try him out?" The waitress, being curious, tells the man she gets off at 430 and they both decide to get a room at the motel down the road when she gets off.

So 4:30 rolls around and they both get to the motel room. The woman is lying on the bed naked and legs open. The man places the frog between her legs. Five minutes go by and the frog does nothing. The waitress is becoming skeptical at this point. They wait another ten minutes and still nothing.

The waitress asks, "Are you sure this is a pussy eating frog?" The man says, "Ma'am of course I am! I trained him myself!" They wait five more minutes and the frog still hasn't done anything. The man picks the frog up, places him off to the side, and puts his face between the waitress' legs. "Guess I need to train him some more." he says.


The doctor said I have Matchbox 20/20 vision . . .

Typical RobThomatrist.


Last Christmas my parents got me a pair of flip flops with matchbox cars glued to the bottom..

Cheap Skates!


What are the most funny Matchbox jokes of all time ?

Did you ever wanted to stand out with a good sense of humour joking with someone about Matchbox? Well, here are the best Matchbox dad jokes to laugh out loud. Crazy funny puns and Matchbox pick up lines to share with friends.


Joko Jokes