Mast Jokes
110 mast jokes and hilarious mast puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about mast that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Funniest Mast Short Jokes
Short mast jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The mast humour may include short mate jokes also.
- What happens to a sailboat in a category 5 hurricane? MAST DESTRUCTION!!!
I'll ~~see~~ sea myself out... - Did you hear about the dog who owned a leaky three-masted sailing ship? His barque was worse than his bite.
- Mac Miller recently passed away. All of his homies are wearing their pants at half mast in his honor
- A down on his luck shipwright is spending his day at the port when he sees a ship, with a damaged mast. What does he tell the captain? Anything to make a sail.
- One my dad literally just told me I thought I was going to grow up to be a captain, but it turns out I can only be a deckhand. Because every morning, I wake up, mast in hand and sea men everywhere.
- What does it mean when you see a flag flying at half-mast outside of a mostly white high school?" They're hiring.
- What does it mean when the flag at the Post Office is flying at half mast?
They're hiring. - At Pirate boot camp BOATSWAIN: "That concludes orientation. Any questions?"
ME: (raises rubber hook hand) "Why do they call it trimming the mainsail? Why not mast abating?" - Who is currently leading in the Pirate Party Polls? Noone. Pirates don't have poles, they have masts.
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Mast One Liners
Which mast one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with mast? I can suggest the ones about mare and moth.
- How do you sell a ship with a broken mast? Promote a half-off sail.
- People may think if its necessary for ships to have sails... I would say its a mast.
- What should you use to make a boat explode? A weapon of mast destruction.
- p**... founder Hugh Hefner has died. Flags will be flown at full mast.
Happy Mast Jokes for a Lighthearted Night with Friends
What funny jokes about mast you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean mitt jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make mast pranks.
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This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Q: The male s**... has two hobbies. What are they?
A: His left hand and his right hand.
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m**... in the Mafia
is called 'Offing Jack.'
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This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
MasterCard Commercial
***Pregnancy Tests***
$20 at the grocery store, $1 at the dollar store
Waiting to find out?
Priceless.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Did you know that m**... decreases your prnis size?
Look at all the people in Asia with high speed Internet then look at all the people in Africa with no Internet.
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This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
They say m**... makes you blind....
I don't see any problem with it.
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This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
"m**... can help relieve depression and lead to a higher sense of self-esteem, as well as reduce the risk of prostate cancer."
And apparently that is not the correct answer to give when being questioned by the police as to why I was jacking off while riding the bus.
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This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
If m**... was i**......
I'd be a hardened criminal.
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This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
I was m**..., looked up and saw my mom standing there. I was really freaked out.
Because she died 6 years ago.
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This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
m**... while hooked up to a heart monitor can really mess with a hospital staff
They never know if you're coming or going
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This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
The m**... Ghost
Today I decided to explore a haunted house. I found a ghost in the bedroom. It took one look at me and started m**.... While I was standing there trying to figure out why it would do that it came to me.
Mastercard Chinese Resturant Commercial
General Tso's Chicken........ $11.50
Coca-Cola........ $1.99
Take out guy forgets container........ Riceless
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"m**..." is such a harsh word...
I prefer "Hand-to-gland combat".
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I did a m**... exhibition for a group of hearing impaired people yesterday......
........when I climaxed, they all just looked at me & said "come again?"
I had to get a Mastectomy last year...
Whew, glad I got that off my chest.
I have mastered the science of time travel
but it works going forward in time at a rate of 60 seconds per minute.
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This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
So, my m**... classes are not going to well I'm afraid...
...yesterday, nobody came.
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This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
I m**... when the clock struck 12 tonight
It was the s**... of midnight
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This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
m**... should be considered a craft...
as it is 100% hand made.
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This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
If m**... lead to blindness
internet would be in Braille
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If m**... really made you blind...
... how come I'm still able to typaanco goauma oa,
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This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Why did the m**... m**... turn himself in?
He came to his senses.
Master Yoda, what sound do sheep make?
Yoda: "Dey go bah"
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This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
It is known that m**... eases congestion
"I swear officer, I was only trying to help traffic move along!"
How did the Masterchef contestant call his pet pig?
Sous vide! Sous vide! Soooouuuus Viiiide.
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This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
What did the m**... firemen say to the fire victim?
"We came as fast as we could"
What do you do in a master bathroom?
Masterbathe.
I am a master of tearable puns
But only on paper
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This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Have you got a m**... addiction?
Message me, and we can beat it together
Once you've mastered being a surgeon...
... operating just become an exercise in patients.
What did Masters say to Johnson?
I don't know what the worlds coming to
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This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
I was m**... when I heard some one scream "Help".
So I came as fast as I could.
You should never masticate in your bed...
You'll get crumb everywhere.
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This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
m**...
An 8-year-old choir boy catches the priest m**....
He said, "What are you doing father?"
"It's called m**...," the priest replied. "You'll be doing this soon."
"Why father?" he asked.
"Because my wrist is killing me," the priest replied.
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This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
m**...
When I was a teenager my father told me "If you keep doing that you'll go blind". I said "Can't I just do it until I need glasses?" Proof: Glasses.
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This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
I tried m**... upside down last night ...
I don't know what come over me.
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This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
What did one Master Debater say to the other Master Debater?
Nothing, they were too busy s**... their egos.
Masters of procastronation?
Cuba.
Why don't Master Card and Visa work well in France?
They do not know how to say "CHARGE!"
I am a master of fast calculations.
I am a master of fast calculations.
-
OK, what is 758 time 642 divided by 5?
-
22!
-
Ha ha, that's wrong!
-
Might be, but it was fast!
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This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
I've been m**... into cookware
It's my jackpot!
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So there I was, m**......
...and this guy I was sitting next to punches me right in the face!
I'm never going to that church again.
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This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
m**... is like staring at the sun.
Do it for too long and you'll go blind.
What do PC Master Race people identify as politically?
The Alt-Tab.
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This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
m**... while looking in a mirror isn't wrong.
Unless it's a rear view mirror, and you're driving a school bus
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m**... with superglue
It's hard to pull off
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m**... is a lot like eating a Cinnabon
You feel guilty after both, and the cleanup is the same.
Why can't my master understand that I am just a Labrador and not Jesus?
He keeps telling me to heal.
Master Akira
A confused japanese student asks his master:
- Master Akira, why does all japanese people look alike?
And his master answered :
- I am not Master Akira.
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This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
I m**... over a photograph of a dead guy.
It was the most disturbing thing I've ever come across
Welcome to Masturbators Anonymous.
I'm disappointed that you all came today.
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This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
I have a m**... addiction.
I really need to get a grip on myself.
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This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
m**... is not i**...,
but if it were, people would probably start taking the law into their own hands.
Who is Master P's favorite dictator?
Kim Jung Uuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuun
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
m**... is like...
DIY s**... and can save you money from hiring a professional.
When you have mastered the splits.
It doesn't feel like a stretch.
A carpenter, a tailor, a sailor, a priest and an economist were stranded on a desert island.
"I could chop down the trees and make a raft." Says the carpenter.
"I can stitch a few sheets into a mast."
Says the tailor.
"I can navigate the oceans with the help of the stars."
Says the sailor.
"I will pray for favourable winds and good luck."
Says the the priest.
All they needed now was to chop down a tree to make the raft.
"That's easy," says the economist. "Let's assume an axe."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Seeing his master on the other side of a r**... torrent, a student waved his arms and shouted out, "Master, master, how do I get to the other side?" The master smiled and said...
"You are on the other side."
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This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Somebody, somewhere, has m**... while thinking of you
And other lies you can tell yourself
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This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Welcome to the "m**... 101" course. This is quite sudden, but there will be a test next week.
I hope all of you will come
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This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
I haven't m**... in a week...
... it's hard.
Mastiffs...
Would be a great name for a mortuary in Boston.
What is the Master Chief's favorite band?
Slayer.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
m**... always leads to s**.......
It's a gateway tug...
Not only am I the master of suspense...
...I'm also the master of disappointing endings.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
So they say m**... regularly is supposed to increase how long you live by about a year and a half.
I have done the math, and figured out that I am, in fact, immortal.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
If m**... really caused blindness
rtrttgjueijiot[uhh hhu=wtvjk 5-7yj25jy,jbv cvaqwfwvabcv xxv gbn'
Why are masterbaters so useful?
Because they always come in handy.
A master tactician
I have information I want everyone to know.
So I've decided to tell it to my wife and ask her to keep it to herself
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Sometimes I mastubate with my clothes on
But it really freaks out my coworkers
What's Master P's favorite Indian food?
Mmmm, na-Naan, na-Naan!
Why masturbting is not allowed in libiraries?
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
I have a m**... problem.
And I need to beat it.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Why did the m**... Muslim praise Allah?
He was hoping for a goat-send.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
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I've been m**... a lot less since I've gotten married.
I've really let myself go.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Master, why do you stretch when m**...?
My Student, that way the strain feels like real s**....
Master, I think that's why I won't do that.
