The Best 64 Mast Jokes

Following is our collection of funny Mast jokes. There are some mast starboard jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.

Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these mast helm puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Top 10 Funniest Mast Jokes and Puns

Masturbation in the Mafia

is called 'Offing Jack.'

They say masturbation makes you blind....

I don't see any problem with it.

"Masturbation can help relieve depression and lead to a higher sense of self-esteem, as well as reduce the risk of prostate cancer."

And apparently that is not the correct answer to give when being questioned by the police as to why I was jacking off while riding the bus.

If masturbating was illegal...

I'd be a hardened criminal.

jokes about mast

Masturbating while hooked up to a heart monitor can really mess with a hospital staff

They never know if you're coming or going


Just got back from competing in the Blindfolded Masturbation World Championship

No idea where I came.

"Masturbation" is such a harsh word...

I prefer "Hand-to-gland combat".

Mast joke, "Masturbation" is such a harsh word...

I had to get a Mastectomy last year...

Whew, glad I got that off my chest.

So, my masturbation classes are not going to well I'm afraid...

...yesterday, nobody came.

Masturbation should be considered a craft...

as it is 100% hand made.

Masturbation isn't illegal

...but I'm sure if it was, people would take the law into their own hands.

You can explore mast sea reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean mast voyage dad jokes. There are also mast puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.

Master Yoda, what sound do sheep make?

Yoda: "Dey go bah"

It is known that masturbation eases congestion

"I swear officer, I was only trying to help traffic move along!"

I was in a masturbating competition...

I came 1st twice!

I've given up masturbation for a week

I'm just not feeling myself anymore.

What do you do in a master bathroom?


Mast joke, What do you do in a master bathroom?

Have you got a Masturbation addiction?

Message me, and we can beat it together

Once you've mastered being a surgeon...

... operating just become an exercise in patients.

I was masturbating when I heard some one scream "Help".

So I came as fast as I could.


An 8-year-old choir boy catches the priest masturbating.

He said, "What are you doing father?"

"It's called masturbating," the priest replied. "You'll be doing this soon."

"Why father?" he asked.

"Because my wrist is killing me," the priest replied.

Masturbation = Blindness

A man walks into his sons room and says, " You know, masturbation will cause blindness."

The son looks at him and says, "Dad. I'm over here."

I tried masturbating upside down last night ...

I don't know what come over me.

I am a master of fast calculations.

I am a master of fast calculations.
OK, what is 758 time 642 divided by 5?
Ha ha, that's wrong!
Might be, but it was fast!

I've been masturbating into cookware

It's my jackpot!

What do PC Master Race people identify as politically?

The Alt-Tab.

Masturbating while looking in a mirror isn't wrong.

Unless it's a rear view mirror, and you're driving a school bus

Mast joke, Masturbating while looking in a mirror isn't wrong.

Masturbating with superglue

It's hard to pull off

Masturbation is a lot like eating a Cinnabon

You feel guilty after both, and the cleanup is the same.

Master Akira

A confused japanese student asks his master:
- Master Akira, why does all japanese people look alike?
And his master answered :
- I am not Master Akira.

Welcome to Masturbators Anonymous.

I'm disappointed that you all came today.

I have a masturbation addiction.

I really need to get a grip on myself.

What happens to a sailboat in a category 5 hurricane?


I'll ~~see~~ sea myself out...

masturbation is not illegal,

but if it were, people would probably start taking the law into their own hands.

I am a master at forgery

I have all the certificates to prove it

A carpenter, a tailor, a sailor, a priest and an economist were stranded on a desert island.

"I could chop down the trees and make a raft." Says the carpenter.
"I can stitch a few sheets into a mast."
Says the tailor.
"I can navigate the oceans with the help of the stars."
Says the sailor.
"I will pray for favourable winds and good luck."
Says the the priest.
All they needed now was to chop down a tree to make the raft.
"That's easy," says the economist. "Let's assume an axe."

Somebody, somewhere, has masturbated while thinking of you

And other lies you can tell yourself

Welcome to the "Masturbation 101" course. This is quite sudden, but there will be a test next week.

I hope all of you will come

Masturbation always leads to sex....

It's a gateway tug...

Not only am I the master of suspense...

...I'm also the master of disappointing endings.

So they say masturbation regularly is supposed to increase how long you live by about a year and a half.

I have done the math, and figured out that I am, in fact, immortal.

Welcome to Masturbation Addicts Anonymous!

I see everyone came today, which is disappointing.

Why are masterbaters so useful?

Because they always come in handy.

Mac Miller recently passed away.

All of his homies are wearing their pants at half mast in his honor

How do you sell a ship with a broken mast?

Promote a half-off sail.

I masturbated over my ex-wife last night.

I know I shouldn't but I've still got a key and she's a heavy sleeper.

I masturbated on a aeroplane

I called it "highjacking"

A sailor comes back one morning after a long time at sea

His best buddy died on the ship, so he goes announcing the news, first thing, to his widow. One thing led to another and they are starting to undress, but she suddenly stares at him and stops, asking:

-Why are you only half mast?

-It's mourning wood

How to master Australian accent in seconds

Say "Rise Up Lights" out loud. *You just said razor blades in Australian accent.*

Don't stop there.

Say "Beer Can" with an English accent. *You just said Bacon in Jamaican accent.*


I just masturbated while wearing my new Apple Watch.

Apparently I burned as many calories as if I walked 8 steps.

Masturbation is like buying IKEA furniture.

At first, it sounds like a great idea.

But then you're on your knees in the living room, with a mess on the carpet, wishing you'd have just paid someone.

What does masturbation and music have in common?

They're both measured in Beats Per Minute

The first 5G cell phone mast in town is put up

Suddenly, all sorts of people develop medical conditions. A citizens' initiative against the mast is formed. A public hearing is organized with the mayor and representatives of the telecom company. The people bring forward all the ailments they suffer from since the mast was erected.

The telecom technician replies: "For God's sake, what will be going on when we then put the mast into operation?"

My masturbation addiction and lycanthropy are really messing up my sleep.

I'm up all night tossing and turning.

I read a news story recently about a large group of secretive gay vigilantes who founded a temple to the god of sailing that moonlights as a BDSM club.

The headline read

"Masked Masc for Masc Masses create Mast Mass for Masochists"

What did master yoda say when he saw himself on a 4k tv?


Why are firetrucks red?

Why are firetrucks red?
Well because firetrucks have six wheels, six is half a dozen. Usually when someone is using half a dozen and a dozen, they are referring to eggs. Eggs come from chickens, a male chicken is a rooster, roosters are often on steeples, steeples are are tall, like a mast on a ship, ships go on the sea, in the sea there are fish and fish have fins and the Fins fought the Soviets and the soviet flag is red.

i've given up masturbating for an entire month

sorry. bad punctuation.

i'm giving up! masturbating for an entire month.

You may be a master debater...

But I'm a cunning linguist.

I haven't masturbated in years

it wasn't hard.

I have a masturbation addiction

But I'm beating it

Masturbation is perfectly normal and healthy . it releases dopamine and reduces stress . improves prostate and cardiovascular health ...

and i still got thrown off the bus


is super handy.

If I have to have a mastectomy, I'm opting for a beautifullly sculpted mahogany replacement.

That'd be nice, wooden tit.

I have become a master at cleaning my baby after a poop.

I'm a #2 dad.

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the mast captain jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working mast sail piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

Joko Jokes