Great way to hide your identity, it's not like you're a giant fucking turtle or something
Jean Claude Van Dam, Steven Segal, and Arnold Schwarzenagger all decide to go out trick-or-treating as musical composers for Halloween. They go into a costume store and look for masks. Jean Claude sees a costume that he likes and says, "I think I'll go as Beethoven." Steven Segal sees a costume that grabs his attention and says, "I'll be Mozart." Arnold had a tough time finding a costume that he liked, but he eventually found one that appeased his interest. He picks up a costume and said, "I'll be Bach."
"Welcome aboard Southwest Flight XXX to Chicago. To operate your seatbelt, insert the metal tab into the buckle, and pull tight. It works just like every other seatbelt and if you don't know how to operate one, you probably shouldn't be out in public unsupervised. In the event of a sudden loss of cabin pressure, oxygen masks will descend from the ceiling. Stop screaming, grab the mask, and pull it over your face. If you have a small child traveling with you, secure your mask before assisting with theirs. If you are traveling with two small children, decide now which one you love more."
...and is split in half horizontally. Everyone is holding onto the oxygen masks above with their legs dangling in the air.
The captain shouts to the passengers, "We can make it, but the weight's off - at least one person needs to let go or else none of us will make it!"
Willing to die for a good cause, a young man shouts "I will sacrifice my life for all of you!"
Everyone claps.
Back in the mid 80's when I was taking an EMT course to volunteer on the local ambulance service we were in the middle of a class on bodily fluids and gloves and masks.
During the lecture, the instructor asked us "Do you know what the first sign of A.I.D.S is?". It being a new thing back then we didn't really have any answers. After a few minutes he advised us that "It is a pounding sensation in your ass".
I told my wife I wanted to watch a movie about a billionaire playboy with a penchant for darkness, inflicting violence and dressing up in masks.
She got excited and asked, "Are we really go to see *50 Shades*?"
I laughed and told her I was talking about *The Lego Batman Movie*.
Cause if they dived forward they would fell on the boat.
Real reason so that the eye and nose masks don't get filled with water on the impact straightforward and the oxygen tanks are heavy and it would exert less strain on the back. A prudent way.
Throwback Thursday Joke
Edited few grammar mistakes.
Everyone wears ski masks
In the event of a loss of cabin pressure, oxygen masks will drop from above. If you're traveling with a child, please fit their mask first. If you have more than 1 child with you, please pick your favorite now.
I think I'll get an A+.
I could just be getting ahead of myself.
Some people don't need masks.
We beat the crap out of him.
It was an embarrassment.
Nobody removes their masks to say 'Ha! I am the bus driver'
So nobody will recognize them if they make a mistake.
So no one can see their smiles.
So when someone fucks up, no-one can I.D. them.
All Welding masks must be shaded to 14
Some would call him a racist faceist.
Some wear masks
Their masks scare everyone off so they're always stuck with dry bones.
It's called Commedia de Lattè
You can ride horses and wear gas masks. DICE has really outdone themselves.
Wrong sub.
Did you ever wanted to stand out with a good sense of humour joking with someone about Masks? Well, here are the best Masks dad jokes to laugh out loud. Crazy funny puns and Masks pick up lines to share with friends.