masks Jokes

funny pick up lines and hilarious masks puns

I love how the ninja turtles wear masks

Great way to hide your identity, it's not like you're a giant fucking turtle or something

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THE GOVINATOR

Jean Claude Van Dam, Steven Segal, and Arnold Schwarzenagger all decide to go out trick-or-treating as musical composers for Halloween. They go into a costume store and look for masks. Jean Claude sees a costume that he likes and says, "I think I'll go as Beethoven." Steven Segal sees a costume that grabs his attention and says, "I'll be Mozart." Arnold had a tough time finding a costume that he liked, but he eventually found one that appeased his interest. He picks up a costume and said, "I'll be Bach."

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From a Southwest Airlines employee

"Welcome aboard Southwest Flight XXX to Chicago. To operate your seatbelt, insert the metal tab into the buckle, and pull tight. It works just like every other seatbelt and if you don't know how to operate one, you probably shouldn't be out in public unsupervised. In the event of a sudden loss of cabin pressure, oxygen masks will descend from the ceiling. Stop screaming, grab the mask, and pull it over your face. If you have a small child traveling with you, secure your mask before assisting with theirs. If you are traveling with two small children, decide now which one you love more."

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A plane has a horrible accident...

...and is split in half horizontally. Everyone is holding onto the oxygen masks above with their legs dangling in the air.

The captain shouts to the passengers, "We can make it, but the weight's off - at least one person needs to let go or else none of us will make it!"

Willing to die for a good cause, a young man shouts "I will sacrifice my life for all of you!"

Everyone claps.

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I don't know where else to put this...

Back in the mid 80's when I was taking an EMT course to volunteer on the local ambulance service we were in the middle of a class on bodily fluids and gloves and masks.
During the lecture, the instructor asked us "Do you know what the first sign of A.I.D.S is?". It being a new thing back then we didn't really have any answers. After a few minutes he advised us that "It is a pounding sensation in your ass".

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Going To The Movies

I told my wife I wanted to watch a movie about a billionaire playboy with a penchant for darkness, inflicting violence and dressing up in masks.

She got excited and asked, "Are we really go to see *50 Shades*?"

I laughed and told her I was talking about *The Lego Batman Movie*.

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Why do scuba divers dive backwards?

Cause if they dived forward they would fell on the boat.

Real reason so that the eye and nose masks don't get filled with water on the impact straightforward and the oxygen tanks are heavy and it would exert less strain on the back. A prudent way.

Throwback Thursday Joke
Edited few grammar mistakes.

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Being a bank guard in Alaska is tough...

Everyone wears ski masks

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Airline passenger safety brief

In the event of a loss of cabin pressure, oxygen masks will drop from above. If you're traveling with a child, please fit their mask first. If you have more than 1 child with you, please pick your favorite now.

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We're making self portrait masks in art class.

I think I'll get an A+.

I could just be getting ahead of myself.

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This is a reminder that Halloween will be coming up soon.

Some people don't need masks.

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I saw an old man being beaten up by a two men in masks. I decided to help...

We beat the crap out of him.

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A group dressed in panda masks tried to rob a bank...

It was an embarrassment.

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Masquerade party at school.

Nobody removes their masks to say 'Ha! I am the bus driver'

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Why do surgeons wear masks?

So nobody will recognize them if they make a mistake.

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Why should doctors wear surgical masks when pulling the plug on Donald Trump?

So no one can see their smiles.

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Why do doctors and nurses wear masks during surgery?

So when someone fucks up, no-one can I.D. them.

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Roses are red, the eclipse was this morning

All Welding masks must be shaded to 14

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My Nazi Uncle loved collecting masks

Some would call him a racist faceist.

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Not all heroes wear capes

Some wear masks

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Getting laid as a shy guy is so hard.

Their masks scare everyone off so they're always stuck with dry bones.

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I'm starting a comedy troupe that wears masks and does improvised sketches in coffee shops

It's called Commedia de Lattè

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I downloaded sandstorm simulator 2016 yesterday

You can ride horses and wear gas masks. DICE has really outdone themselves.

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Because a lot of folks were tied up and wearing masks at our BDSM party I got in a lot of trouble

Wrong sub.

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What are the most funny Masks jokes of all time ?

Did you ever wanted to stand out with a good sense of humour joking with someone about Masks? Well, here are the best Masks dad jokes to laugh out loud. Crazy funny puns and Masks pick up lines to share with friends.

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