The Best 61 Mask Jokes
Following is our collection of funniest Mask jokes. There are some mask camouflage jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud. Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these mask robberies puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.
Funny Mask Jokes and Puns
TIFU by accidentally cheating on my wife at a BDSM convention with a woman who was wearing the same leather mask
Whoops, wrong sub
Boy: What's a palindrome?
Teacher: racecar
{10 years later}
Boy: [bursting out of bank in ski mask] where's the palindrome
Getaway driver: [sitting in kayak]
Sperm Bank
At a sperm bank one day, a man walks up with a ski mask and a gun. He points the gun at the lady at the desk.
"Sir.. this is a sperm bank.." says the lady.
"I know. Get out three bottles of sperm" he commanded.
So she obeys and takes out three bottles of frozen sperm.
"Drink it." says the man.
So she wincingly swallows each gulp until they're all empty. Disgusted she takes a look at the man as he takes off his ski mask and pockets his gun.
"See honey? It's not that hard."
A masked thief bursts into a bank...
As he climbs over the counter his balaclava catches and comes off for a second, before he quickly puts it back on.
The thief says to the cashier "did you see my face?", the cashier says "yes, I did!". Then the thief shoots her dead.
The thief then goes up to a customer and says "did you see my face?", the customer says "yes", then the robber shoots him right in the head.
The thief then runs up to a couple and says to the man "did you see my face?", then man says "no, but my wife did!".
A mugger
Late one night, a mugger wearing a ski mask jumped into the path of a well-dressed man and stuck a gun in his ribs.
"Give me your money," he demanded.
Indignant, the affluent man replied, "You can't do this, I'm a United States Congressman!"
"In that case," replied the mugger, "give me MY money."
inspired by frontpage's TIL about the guy fawkes mask: how many occupy protesters does it take to change a lightbulb?
none, occupy protesters can't change anything.
Why does Batman wear a mask?
Because the citizens of Gotham aren't morons, like those idiots over in Metropolis
Masked man robs a sperm bank...
... He approaches the safe with a gun and yells at the nurse,
"Open up this safe!"
Nurse replied in fear, "But sir this is a sperm bank, we don't have any money here."
I said open up this safe now!" he yelled again and the nurse opened it up.
"Now drink this viel!"
"But sir this is sperm!"
"I said drink!" and the nurse drank with disgust.
"Drink another!" and she emptied another viel with less resistance.
The robber reveals his face and nurse found out that the robber was actually her husband.
"Now Sharon, was it really that hard?"
Who has two thumbs and wears a mask?
Disguise!
I've just been robbed by a Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle
Though ironically, he wasn't wearing a mask so I don't know which one he was.
A masked man goes into a sperm bank.
A masked man goes into a sperm bank, points a gun at the woman behind the counter, and says,
Open the safe.
She says, This isn't a real bank; it's a sperm bank.
He says, Open the safe or I'll shoot.
She opens the safe, and he says, Now take one of the bottles and drink it.
After she opens the bottle and drinks it, he takes off his mask and the woman realizes the robber is
her husband.
He says, Now you see? It's not so difficult, is it?
You can explore mask outfit reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean mask veil dad jokes. There are also mask puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.
How does Darth Vader manage to eat through that mask?
He's force fed.
Late one night a mugger wearing a ski mask jumped into a path of...
Late one night a mugger wearing a ski mask jumped into a path of a well-dressed man and stuck a gun in his ribs
"give me your money," he demanded.
Indignant, the affluent man replied, "you can't do this, I am a United States congressman!"
In that case," replied the mugger,
"give me my money."
My friend was raped by a teenager mutant ninja turtle.
He wasn't wearing a mask, so we don't know which one did it.
I need advice. I was whipping someone in a gimp mask during a BDSM session, but when he took it off - it wasn't my husband.
Whoops, wrong sub.
A masked priest just threw some holy water at me...
... I think it was a blessing in disguise.
How do you know that Darth Vader isn't a black man underneath the mask?
He claims to be your father.
I went to a party last night...
..and everyone was watching a movie on the TV. I being introverted, hadn't talked with anyone and was watching movie by myself. When the movie ended, everyone was debating on what to watch next.
I decided to put on the movie I had brought from home. It was pretty funny and had Jim Carrey in it.
Everyone really like it. People started talking to me and thanking me for the movie. No one cared who I was until I put on The Mask.
Late one night a mugger wearing a mask !!!
Late one night a mugger wearing a mask stopped a well-dressed man and stuck a gun in his ribs. "Give me your money," he demanded. Scandalized, the man replied, "You can't do this – I'm a US Congressman!" "Oh! In that case," smiled the robber, "Give me MY money!
A bank robber's mask falls off mid-heist.
He makes eye contact with a hostage directly facing him and shoots him. He puts his mask back on and turns to face the other two hostages, a man and a woman. "Did either of you see my face?!" He yells.
The man answers, "I didn't, but I think my wife might have..."
What do you call a moose wearing a mask?
Anonymoose
Guard: Get in your cell
Prisoner: You can't make me. You don't run this cell.
Guard: *rips mask off to reveal mitochondria*
Actually, I do
My wife went into hospital last night after an acid attack, "Will I still be attractive?" She sobbed.
The doctor had a quick look, and said, "Sure, but you may have to have some facial reconstruction and wear a mask.... How does that sound to you?"
"Not good!" My wife replied, "The acid only hit me on my leg."
Meanwhile at the Sperm Donor Bank
A guy walks into a sperm donor bank wearing a ski mask and holding a gun.
He goes up to the nurse and demands for her to open the sperm bank vault. She says "But sir, its just a sperm bank!", "I don't care, open it now!!!" he replies.
So she opens the door to the vault and inside are all the sperm samples. The guy says "Take one of those sperm samples and drink it!", she looks at him "BUT, they are sperm samples???" , "DO IT!".
So the nurse sucks it back. "That one there, drink that one as well.", so the nurse drinks that one as well.
Finally after 4 samples the man takes off his ski mask and says, "See honey - its not that hard is it ?."
A woman is talking to her next door neighbour and she says I'm worried about my 16 year old son...
I looked in his school bag and found a gimp mask, nipple clamps and a whip. What should I do.
And the neighbour replyed I'm no expert but I wouldn't spank him.
Darth Vader built an entire Galactic Empire...
Wearing protective gear in sanitary environment.
But it was all destroyed by a whiny brat without a mask who refused to stay home with his aunt and uncle.
They said that a mask and gloves were enough to go to the supermarket.
They lied, everyone else has clothes on.
You may be entitled to...
Has Covid19 forced you to wear glasses & a mask at the same time?
You may be entitled to condensation!
Without a mask on, I shopped at a store that had a strict mask policy.
Before leaving, I asked the security guard why he let me shop without a cover and he said that Halloween masks are acceptable too. :\_(
Has COVID-19 caused you to wear a mask and glasses at the same time?
You may be entitled to condensation.
Your momma so ugly
Governments across the world conspired to spread a pandemic to get her to wear a mask.
Today at the pharmacy I saw a woman without a face mask buying a pregnancy test.
She clearly isn't a fan of protection
I wear a mask. Not because I want to, but because it is considerate of others and helps stop the spread of particulates.
I also wear underwear. Not because I want to, but...
What do masks and condoms have in common?
It's safe to come inside if you're wearing one
You can recycle an old brassiere into a face mask. It is important to remember to only use the left cup...
otherwise you will end up looking like a right tit.
Has COVID-19 got you wearing glasses and a mask at the same time?
You may be entitled to condensation.
EDIT (July 14, 2020 7:40PM PST): Um, wow. I did not expect the 2.9K likes, especially since I didn't come up with it. Thanks for the support guys and y'all got me, I read it somewhere else and shared it.
COVID is bringing everyone a little closer to being Batman
Either you are wearing a mask or your parents are dead.
I recently bought my pet duck a mask, to protect it from corona virus...
It's nothing flashy, but it fits the bill
me: what's a palindrome?
**teacher:** racecar
{10 years later}
**me: [bursting out of bank in ski mask]:** where's the palindrome?
**getaway driver:** [sitting in kayak]
Did you hear they're cancelling Halloween this year?
Because nobody would wear a mask.
Lol plague inc easy mode is so unrealistic
Like who wouldn't wash their hands and wear a mask during a global pandemic.
There is a law that says you don't have to wear a mask
It's called Natural Selection
They said a mask was enough to go to the grocery store.
They lied. Everyone else had clothes on
Having a big nose isn't a good enough excuse to not wear a mask.
Take me for example. I still wear underwear.
Yo mama so ugly
Yo momma so ugly the whole world faked a virus and ruined the economy just to make her wear a mask
You know why women's eyes are so noticeable these days?
It's the mask era.
Your mama is so ugly...
The whole world faked a virus just to make her wear a mask.
If president Trump actually dies from covid you won't see me smiling
Because I will be wearing a mask
I noticed a barista working alone in a small shop was still wearing a mask.
She said, "this is a coughy filter"
Your mom is so ugly...
That the world faked a pandemic just so she has to wear a mask
I need everyone to wish me luck. I have a meeting at the bank later and if all goes well, I will be out of debt.
I'm so excited I can barely put on my ski mask.
A condom and a mask are sitting together on a park bench.
A condom and a mask are sitting together on a park bench. The condom looks at the mask, and says they won't wear you either, huh?
PSA do not wear a washington wizards face mask.
CDC studies have shown they provide no defense
This joke about Covid circulating around Chinese web boards...
If someone walking ahead of you farts and you can can hear it, that means you're not practicing correct social distancing.
If you can smell it, that means you're not wearing your mask properly.
If you are wearing your mask properly and can still smell it, then congratulations, you don't have covid-19.
How do you get a trump supporter to wear a mask?
Convince them to storm the capitol building
Why did the Capitol police decide to use teargas?
They knew nobody was wearing a mask!
If you see somebody wearing a mask pulled down below their nose, don't worry...
Those people are all mouth-breathers anyway
People with fogged up glasses from wearing a mask: have you considered using a monocle?
It only fogs up half as much.
Your mom is so ugly that. . . .
The entire world created a virulent strain of Coronavirus just so she'd wear a mask.
And she's so dumb, she thinks that masks aren't effective.
People refuses to wear a mask is actually making the humankind smarter
By nature selection
The CDC is now recommending wearing TWO masks as a way to get a better seal around your nose and mouth.
It's also a good statistical approach to get the average American to wear ONE mask. (Sorry, that was a mean joke.)
Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the mask hostages jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.
We suggest to use only working mask robber piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.