The Best 11 Maryland Jokes

Following is our collection of funny Maryland jokes. There are some maryland chapman jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.

Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these maryland jfk puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Top 10 of the Funniest Maryland Jokes and Puns

There are some eerie similarities between the assassinations of President Lincoln and Kennedy...

Lincoln was elected into Congress in 1846.
JFK was elected into Congress in 1946.

Lincoln was elected President in 1860.
JFK was elected President in 1960.

Lincoln had a secretary named Kennedy.
Kennedy had a secretary named Lincoln.

A week before he died, Lincoln was in Monroe, Maryland.
A week before he died, Kennedy was in Marilyn Monroe.

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Credit goes to the play: The Complete History of America: Abridged

There was one similarity between Lincoln and Kennedy's assassination that everyone overlooked...

A week before Lincoln was shot, he was in Monroe, Maryland. A week before Kennedy was shot, he was in Marilyn Monroe

A week before Abraham Lincoln was shot he was in Monroe, Maryland...

A week before Kennedy was shot he was in Marilyn Monroe.

Maryland joke, A week before Abraham Lincoln was shot he was in Monroe, Maryland...

What do Marylanders call their ex-girlfriends?

Old Bay.

Is everyone in Maryland a doctor?

Because they all got a MD.


Driving in Maryland

My girlfriend was next to me in my car the other day. We're driving through Baltimore and she says "Did you know Maryland is the third worst state to drive in?" over and over and over. About six miles later I get pulled over by a cop. The cop says "uhh sir? You do realize your girlfriend fell out of the car five miles back right?" And I said "Wow, and here I thought I was lucky enough to go deaf!"

"Did you hear about the $3,000,000 Maryland State Lottery?

The winner gets $3 a year for a million years."

Maryland joke, "Did you hear about the $3,000,000 Maryland State Lottery?

I have an ex-girlfriend from Maryland...

She's my Old Bae

If you break up with your girlfriend from Maryland

Is she your Old Bae?

What do lovers in Maryland call each other after they've been together for a long time?

Old Baes

In light of everything happening in Maryland....

I guess you could say that "Less is Baltimore".

You can explore maryland lincoln reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean maryland kennedy dad jokes. There are also maryland puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.


Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the maryland bama jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working maryland georgia piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

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