Mary Jane Jokes
42 mary jane jokes and hilarious mary jane puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about mary jane that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
This is a collection of the best Mary Jane jokes. If you're looking for a laugh, these jokes are for you.
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Funniest Mary Jane Short Jokes
Short mary jane jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The mary jane humour may include short mary poppins jokes also.
- Why did Josh Gordon marry Mary Jane? So he'd only get a 2 game suspension for abusing her.
- What do you call a second hand gold necklace? Recyc-bling
(I'm pretty sure I thought of this myself but I used to smoke the Mary Jane a lot so......) - Why is Mary Jane so attractive in the comics? Because Spidey needs a place to Park his Peter.
- If I don't win the Mary Jane Country Grill-off I won't be able to afford my rent... I guess you could say the steaks are high
- Peter Parker's at a party He's offered a blunt. "No," He says looking out the window at the skyline. "That's not the Mary Jane I need."
- - Mary, do you know what Bechdel Test is? -Jane, I have no idea.
-I'm pretty sure that the author of this joke knows it well. - Spidy nonsense Sometimes I feel like spider man. Once I had Gwen Stacy, now I just have Mary Jane.
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Mary Jane One Liners
Which mary jane one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with mary jane? I can suggest the ones about john and marilyn monroe.
- What does Spiderman like to get high on? Mary Jane
- How does Mary Jane get to school? She takes the cani-bus
- I hate talking to Mary Jane She's just too blunt
- How did Peter Parker know Mary Jane was cheating on him? He spied her man.
- Why was the web server down? Mary Jane dumped him.
- What do Spiderman and I have in common? We're both in love with Mary Jane
- I know a lesbian... She really likes Mary Jane.
- What did Spiderman say to Mary Jane in the morning? That ain't web.
- How is w**... Nelson like Spider-Man? They both love Mary Jane
- Mary Jane Is the only woman who won't complain when you hit her.
- Why did everybody want to have s**... with Mary Jane? She had a very big bud.
- Why was Mary Jane not a v**...? Her mother leaves.
Laughable Mary Jane Jokes for Instant Grins & Giggles
What funny jokes about mary jane you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean jack jill jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make mary jane pranks.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Teenage boys
Two teenage boys go to confession. In the booth the first boy admits having s**... with a girl but refuses to name her. The priest asks, 'It wasn't Mary Jones, was it?' The boy says 'No, Father it wasn't'. The priest asks' 'Was it Angela Brown?'. The boy replies 'No, Father. it wasn't. 'It wasn't Jane Carter by any chance?' The boy says 'No father it wasn't' The priest gives up and says 'Well for your penance say fifty Hail Mary's and leave half your pocket money in the poor box.' When the boy leaves his friend asks him how it went. He replies 'Not bad, a $5 fine and three great leads!'
A joke my dad always tells.
Mary Jane was swinging on the swing set when her Mama came out and yelled,
Mary Jane! Don't swing so high! The boys can see your underwear!
But Mary Jane just laughed and laughed, because she knew she wasn't wearing any underwear.
I don't know.
Jane and Mary are eating lunch together when, out of the blue, Jane asks what the circumference of the Earth is.
Mary shrugs and says, "No sé."
Jane gives her a funny look and asks, "What does that mean?" to which Mary replies "I don't know."
Jane, flabbergasted, says, "Don't say it if you don't know what it means!"
Mary and Jane are old friends.
They have both been married to their husbands for a long time; Mary is upset because she thinks her husband doesn't find her attractive anymore.
"As I get older he doesn't bother to look at me!" Mary cries.
"I'm so sorry for you, as I get older my husband says I get more beautiful every day." replies Jane.
"Yes, but your husband's an antique dealer!"
A boy goes into confession...
The boy tells the priest, "Father I'm afraid I've been with a loose girl."
"Hmm, ok son, what was the girls name?"
"Oh I can't say."
"Was it Mary Jane?"
"No Father."
"Adalina Mozarelli?"
"My lips are sealed."
"How about Cindy King"
"I can never say."
"Oh come on boy, I'll find out soon enough. It was Tina King wasn't it!?"
"No."
"It has to be Tracy Cummings though!"
"Father I will never tell you."
"Ok fine, but for your sin you can't be alter boy for four months."
"Ok, Father"
The boy leaves and his friend asks, "So what'd you get?"
The boy responds, "Five good leads, and a four month vacation!"
Mary Jane
One night Mary Jane was walking down a dark alley when a strange man appeared and started ripping her clothes off. Mary Jane laughed and laughed though, because she knew her clothes wouldn't fit him.
Mary Jane's mom saw that Mary Jane had burnt the garage down.
Her mom said, when your dad gets home you're going to be in big trouble.
And Mary Jane laughed and laughed because she knew her dad was in the garage.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A boy goes to confessional...
Boy: "Forgive me Father for I have sinned. It has been 1 week since my last confession."
Father: "What is your sin?"
Boy: "Fornication with a girl in the parish."
Father: "What girl?"
Boy: "I won't say"
Father: "Was it Sally?"
Boy: "I'm not telling!"
Father: "It was Jane, wasn't it."
Boy: "I'm not going to say!"
Father: "It had to be Jessica"
Boy: "Father, I'm not going to tell you!"
Father: "Fine. Do 3 Hail Mary's and sin no more."
Boy leaves confessional and returns to a friend who is waiting for him on the pew.
Friend: "How'd it go in there?"
Boy: "Went great! I got three new leads!"
I need help remembering a joke
I can't remember the punch line. I don't remember much, but here's what I remember:
Little Johnny goes to church ad enters the confessions box. The priest behind the screen says
"Johnny, is that you?"
Johnny- "Yes father, it is me."
Priest- "What sin have you committed, my son?"
Johnny- "I fooled around with a girl"
Priest- "was it Mary?"
Johnny- "I can't say the name, father."
Priest- "was it Rose?"
Johnny- "I can't say the name, father"
Priest- "was it Jane?"
Johnny- "I cat say the name, father."
After this there are a few more lines including a funny punch line, but for the life of me I can't remember what it is. Can someone help me?
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Little Johnny is at it again.
Little Johnny was sent home early from school one day. He had been very, very naughty with his classmate, Mary Jane. Little Johnny's mom was very upset with this news and she warned Johnny he was surely going to get it when his father got home.
Little Johnny's dad finally came home from work and right away mom told him Johnny was caught having s**... with Mary Jane at school. And she started to cry her eyes out.
Johnny's dad ran to the kitchen and made a huge ruckus looking through the cupboards. The mom stood nearby wondering what was happening. Finally, Little Johnny's dad found what he wanted and he picked up a large cast iron frying pan. He loudly told his wife to get out of the way but she started crying louder begging the dad to please not hurt Little Johnny. After all he was just a young boy. Johnny's dad said, "Hurt him be d**.... I'm not going to hit him. I'm going to fry him up a steak and some eggs. The poor kid can't screw on Corn Flakes!"
All-Female Crew
As the aircraft was taxiing towards the runway to take off, the voice on the speaker welcomed passengers on board and introduced them to the pilot.
"Your captain is Miss Mary Joystick...."
"You mean to tell me this plane is being piloted by a woman?"asked an alarmed passenger to a stewardess."
"Yes, sir," replied the stewardess. "So is the co-pilot, Miss Jane Understudy. So also are the radio operator and the navigator, they are all women in command."
"I must see this for myself," said the passenger. "Please take me to the cockpit."
"We don't call it that any more, sir," replied the stewardess.