Marxist Jokes

Humoristic puns and funny pick up lines

As a Marxist I could never play CoD,

because I refuse to create a class.

Why do Marxists only drink herbal tea?

Because proper tea is theft.

Your mother is so classless...

.. she could be a marxist utopia

How does a Marxist jack off?

By seizing the means of reproduction.

Stalin visits a farm

One day, Joseph Stalin visits an agricultural collective. And so....

Stalin: Comrade, how much wheat do you have?

Farmer: Comrade Stalin, we have enough wheat to reach God!

Stalin: Comrade, as a Marxist, you know that there is no God!

Farmer: Comrade Stalin, as a Marxist, you know that there is no wheat!

Why do marxists only drink tea made with tea bags?

Because proper tea is theft

Yo mamas so classless...

...she could be a marxist utopia

A Socialist, a Marxist, and a Postmodernist walk into a strip club.

The bouncer checks their ID's and says

"sorry guys, come back when you're 21."

Why do Marxists drink bad tea?

Because all proper tea is theft.

Your Momma is so classless...

She could be a Marxist utopia

How many marxists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

IMPOSSIBLE! They only know how to spin things to the left.

I'm a Marxist

Classless and moneyless.

The most high brow yo 'mamma joke...

Yo mamma is so classless... she is like a Marxist utopia!

Your girlfriend is so classless, she could be a Marxist Utopia.

How many economists does it take to change a light bulb?

It depends on the economist:

How many right-wing economists does it take to change a light bulb?
None, the invisible hand will take care of it.

How many keynesian economists does it take to change a lightbulb?
All of them, in order to shift tha aggregate demand to the right and generate more employment and consumption.

How many marxist economists does it take to change the lightbulb?
None. The lightbulb contains the seeds of its own revolution.

I'm translating it from portuguese, hopefully it's right spelled and not a repost.

Yo mamma's so classless...

she could be a marxist utopia!

A Muslim, an Illegal Immigrant, and a Marxist walk into a bar...

And the bartender asks, "What'll ya have, Mr. President?"

I don't really like Marxists...

...they have no class.

Why can't Marxists enjoy a nice darjeeling?

Because all proper tea is theft.

What do you call a Communist Mexican?

A Gaucho Marxist

Hey girl, are you a Marxist revolutionary?

Cos I'd like you to seize control of my means of production.

What's the difference between Libertarians and Marxist Communists?

Libertarians still exist

Why wouldn't the Marxist ever make a decent cup of tea?

Because he'd read that all proper tea is theft.

Why did the Marxist drop out of school?

He didn't like the classes.

What are the funniest marxist jokes of all time?

Did you ever wanted to stand out with a good sense of humour joking about Marxist? Well, here are the best Marxist puns to laugh out loud. Crazy and funny Marxist pick up lines to share with friends.

TABLE OF CONTENTS

Joko Jokes