marx Jokes

funny pick up lines and hilarious marx puns

Why does Karl Marx write in lowercase?

He hates capitalism

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Hey girl is your name Karl Marx?

Cuz you're starting an uprising in my lower classes

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Why does Karl Marx hate earl grey?

Because all proper tea is theft.

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A joke my Dad made up (says lots bout Dad): A philosopher and a nudist are at a beach resort...

The philosopher asks the nudist, "have you read marx? And the nudist replies, "why, yes! But I think it's the wicker chairs."

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Why did Karl Marx dislike Earl Grey?

Because all proper tea is theft.

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How five Jews changed the way we see the world:

Moses: "The Law is everything"

Jesus: "Love is everything"

Marx: "Money is everything"

Freud: "Sex is everything"

Einstein: "Everything is relative"

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As a Marxist I could never play CoD,

because I refuse to create a class.

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Why did everyone hate communism?

I'd give it full Marx

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What grades did Fidel Castro get at school?

Full Marx

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Why do Marxists only drink herbal tea?

Because proper tea is theft.

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Marx, Engels and Proudhon are at the pub...

Proudhon says, "property is theft!"

Marx says, "from each according to his ability, to each according to his need!"

Engels says, "so I guess that means it's my fucking round again?"

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Why doesn't communism work in a school enviroment?

Because everyone would get the same Marx.

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My history teacher is a communist, so I made lots of references to the Soviet Union in my essay.

I got full marx.

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I used to go to communism classes.

I never really got good Marx.

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Two men at the Communist Nudist Colony are sitting on the porch...

One turns to the other and says, "I say old boy, have you read marx?"
The other says, "Yes, I believe it's these wicker chairs."

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Karl Marx College is a total scam

there aren't even any classes!

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"outside of a dog, a book is man's best friend"

"inside of a dog, its too dark to read"-Groucho Marx

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Two nudists philosophers were sitting around when one of them asked the other, "Have you read Marx?"

The other one replied "Yes, I think it's the wicker furniture".

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What do you give a stoned communist who did well on a test?

High Marx.

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Why does Karl Marx only drink herbal tea?

Because proper tea is theft!

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Why didn't Karl Marx drink Earl Gray?

All proper tea is theft.

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Why does Karl Marx not take milk in his tea?

Because proper tea is theft.

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Miley Cyrus's VMA preformance...

Was so classless Karl Marx came in his grave

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I did really well on my essay about communism.

People think they're funny by asking "did you get high Marx?" Actually, I did well because I approached the topic from all Engels.

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Two Communists are hanging out at a nudist park...

One says, "So, have you read Marx?"

"Yeah, it's these damn wicker chairs."

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I can't understand what the fuss is about the Labour manifesto!

I'd give it full Marx.

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How does a Marxist jack off?

By seizing the means of reproduction.

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Why was Marx bad at dating?

He only talked about seizing the means of production.

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Yo mama is so classless...

Yo mama is so classless that Marx thinks she's an ideal society.

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Two nudist socialists are sitting on a porch.

The first one asks, "Have you read Marx?"

The second one replies, "Yes, I think it's these wicker chairs."

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Two nudists are sitting on the porch

Two older nudist men are sitting on the porch, having a discussion about communism. One man turns and says, "Have you read Marx?"
The other man replies, "Yes, I believe it's these wicker chairs."

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In high school, I presented a project on communism

I thought I would get terrible marx for stalin but the teacher was pretty leninent.

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Why did communism fail the exam?

Because it lost Marx.

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Apparently Karl Marx didn't like JOKES....

Edit-oops ..my bad..he just didn't like them capitalized.

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What score did Lenin get on his exam paper?

...Full Marx

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What are the most funny Marx jokes of all time ?

Did you ever wanted to stand out with a good sense of humour joking with someone about Marx? Well, here are the best Marx dad jokes to laugh out loud. Crazy funny puns and Marx pick up lines to share with friends.

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