The Best 14 Martha Jokes

Following is our collection of Martha jokes which are very funny. There are some martha esther jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud. Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these martha husband puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Funny Martha Jokes and Puns

Two women who are best friends are talking.

"Martha, if I slept with your husband, would we remain friends?"

"No."

"So, we'll be enemies then?

"No."

"What would we be then?

"Even."

A man rushes into his house and yells to his wife, 'Martha, pack up your things!

I just won the Lottery!'

Martha shouts back, 'Shall I pack for warm weather or cold?'

The man replies, 'I don't care, just as long as you're out of the house by noon!'

Bedside Wife

A man was sleeping on his deathbed he woke up to see his wife silently praying beside him.
He says "Martha, I have something to confess to you."
She says "No dear, save your energy."
He says " I must tell you so I may pass on to heaven, I cheated on you."
She says " I know, I poisoned you."

Martha joke, Bedside Wife

Miraculously, Martha survived a fall from a window of a 45-story building.

She sprained her foot, but otherwise she was okay. It helped that the particular window she fell from was on the first floor.

I approached the grieving widow at the funeral.

"Tell me my dear, what were his final words?"

She sniffled and feebly replied.

"You don't scare me with that gun Martha, you couldn't hit the broad side of a barn!"


First Date

*On a first date*

Inner me: okay don't let them know you stalked them online

Them: my aunt-

Me: Martha or Susan?

How do you make Martha Stewart scream twice?

Bang her in the butt then use the curtains to clean yourself off.

Martha joke, How do you make Martha Stewart scream twice?

What is the title of Martha Stewart's culinary anthology?

"Cooking: The Books"

An old man in his 90's

is watching tv and a sexy
commercial comes on. After the ad the old fella realizes he has a stiffy. He gets up and shuffles into the kitchen to show his wife. "MARTHA!!! MARTHA!!! Look at this. What should i do with it?" His wife looks up at him and replies," You might as well clean it now that you got the wrinkles out of it".

Why did Martha pull her kids out of band class?

Too much Sax and Violins.

Why were Jim and Martha figuring out how old the fossil was, on their first date?

Because they were Carbon Dating.

You can explore martha sarah reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean martha confession dad jokes. There are also martha puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.


What has 3 holes and goes down an alley?

Thomas and Martha Wayne.

When she was in prison, what did Martha Stewart learn about cooking?

How to toss salad.

What did the Irishman say about Batman and Superman's fathers?

They were both Martha Fockers

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the martha hannah jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working martha stumpy and martha piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

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