JokoJokes

Marry Me Knock Knock Jokes

19 marry me knock knock jokes and hilarious marry me knock knock puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about marry me knock knock that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

Share These Marry Me Knock Knock Jokes With Friends




Silly Marry Me Knock Knock Jokes for a Good Time with Friends

What is a good marry me knock knock joke to make people laugh? Check out this list of funny stories that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth.

A man is sitting at home and a police officer knocks on his door.

The officer asks him if he is married and the man replies, "Yes I am."
He then asks him if he has a recent picture of his wife. "Sure hold on a second."
The officer looks at the picture, and in a sad voice says, "I'm sorry, but it looks like your wife has been hit by a train."
The man says, "I know, but she has a good personality and is an excellent cook."

A man is sitting at home alone when he hears a knock on the front door.

He opens it to find two policemen standing there. One policeman asks if he is married. He says, Yes, I am.
The policeman then says, I'm sorry, sir. But it looks like your wife's been hit by a truck.
The guy replies, I know, but she has a great personality and is an excellent cook.

The wedding night

A young women marries a very rich very old man. On the wedding night they have adjoining suites. The young woman tells her husband that she loves him for his mind and that he should feel no performance pressure. If he feels up to s**... to just knock on her door.
She goes to bed expecting a restful and undisturbed night but about 5 minutes later there is a knock and in comes the old man. They proceed to have fairly rambunctious s**... after which the old man returns to his room. The bride settles back to go to sleep. 10 min later there is another knock at the door and in he comes again, and another round of s**.... Afterward he again leaves. The young bride is very tired by now and is looking forward to a good night's sleep. 10 minutes later there is another knock at the door. She bursts out incredulously, "Again?". The old man opens the door and replies, "What? Have I been here before?"

Bedroom animals

A pair of newlyweds are out for drinks with a middle-aged couple who have been married for twenty years.
Having knocked back a few, the older husband turns to the newlyweds and remarks with a wink: "I bet you two are like a couple of rabbits in the bedroom."
The newlyweds laugh awkwardly at this, and then the young husband asks "Well, what kind of bedroom animals are you two then?"
The older husband screws up his face and thinks about it for a moment, then exclaims wryly: "Don't know about me, but Margaret here would have to be a camel: she can go for weeks and weeks without s**...."
Without missing a beat, Margaret replies: "That's funny because I was thinking George here would also be a camel: two humps and it's over."

A guy is sitting home alone, when suddenly he hears a knock on the door.

He gets up to answer. There are two policemen outside. They ask him if he's married. He says yes and the policemen want to see the photo of the wife. He gets one and shows it to them.
The policemen exchange sad looks and one of them says:
"I'm very sorry, but it looks like your wife was hit by a truck."
"Yeah I guess, but she's got a great sense of humor and cooks a h**... of a brisket."

She's a keeper

This guy is sitting at home alone when
he hears a knock on the front door.
There are two sheriff's deputies there;
he asks if there is a problem.
One of the deputies asks if he is
married, and if so, can he see a picture of his wife.
The guy says "sure " and shows him a
picture of his wife. The sheriff says,
"I'm very sorry sir, but it looks like your
wife's been hit by a truck."
The guy says, " I know, but she has a
great personality and she's an excellent cook."

A man is sitting at home when he gets a knock on the door from a police officer…

The officer asks the man if he is married, and the man replies yes, I am.
He then asks the man if he has a recent photograph of his wife. The man tells the officer to hold on one moment while he pulls out his phone to show him a picture of her.
The officer takes one look at the photo and tells the man I'm sorry, but it looks like your wife has been hit by a train...
The man says yes, I'm aware of that, But she has a great personality, makes me laugh, and it is a really excellent cook!

Knock knock.
Who's there?
Marry.
Marry who?
Marry me, please!

Knock knock.
Who's there?
Marry.
Marry who?
Marry me, please!

Trophy Wife

Bob, a 70-year-old, extremely wealthy widower shows up at the Country Club with a breathtakingly beautiful 25 year-old blonde who knocks everyone's socks off with her youthful looks and charm.
She hangs onto Bob's arm and listens intently to his every word.
His buddies at the club are all aghast. At the very first chance, they corner him and ask, "Bob, how did you get the trophy girlfriend?"
Bob replies, "Girlfriend? She's my wife!"
They're amazed, but continue to ask. "So, how did you persuade her to marry you?"
"I lied about my age", Bob replies.
"What, did you tell her you were only 50?"
Bob smiles and says, "No, I told her I was 90."

A mother-in-law stopped by unexpectedly to a recently married couple's house...

She knocks on the door, then immediately walks in. She is shocked to see her daughter-in-law laying on the couch completely n**....
"What are you doing?" She asked.
"I'm waiting for Jeff to come home from work," the daughter-in-law answered.
"But you're n**...!" the mother-in-law exclaimed.
"This is my love dress," the daughter-in-law explained.
"Love dress? But you're n**...!"
"Jeff loves me to wear this dress! It makes him happy and it makes me happy."
The mother-in-law on the way home thought about the love dress. When she got home she got undressed, showered, put on her best perfume and expectantly waited for her husband, lying provocatively on the couch.
"What are you doing?" he asked.
"This is my love dress," she replied.
"Needs ironing," he says " What's for dinner?"

A mother-in-law stopped by unexpectedly to the recently married couple's house.

She knocks on the door, then immediately walks in. She is shocked to see her daughter-in-law lying on the couch, totally n**....
"What are you doing?" she asked.
"I'm waiting for Jeff to come home from work," the daughter-in-law answered.
"But you're n**...!" the mother-in-law exclaimed.
"This is my love dress," the daughter-in-law explained.
"Love dress? But you're n**...!"
"Jeff loves me to wear this dress! It makes him happy and it makes me happy."
The mother-in-law on the way home thought about the love dress. When she got home she got undressed, showered, put on her best perfume and expectantly waited for her husband, lying provocatively on the couch.
Finally her husband came home. He walked in and saw her n**... on the couch.
"What are you doing?" he asked.
"This is my love dress," she replied.
"Needs ironing," he says" "What's for dinner?"

So Jimmy, say I have 5 birds sitting on a porch...

Teacher says to Jimmy:
"So Jimmy, say I have 5 birds sitting on a porch and I knock one down with a stone, how many birds will be left on the porch?"
"None, Ms. Anderson. Once I knock the first one, all the others will be flying away"
"No Jimmy, the correct answer was 4, but I do like the way you think"
After a while Jimmy Raises his hand.
"Yes Jimmy?"
"Miss Anderson, say you are looking at three women eating an ice cream cone, one is l**... it, one is biting it and one is s**... it. How do you tell which one's the married one?"
"Well, the one s**... it I suppose"
"No Miss Anderson, It's the one that's wearing a ring, but I do like the way you think!"

4-story building

So there is a building with 4 levels a different person living on each level. On the 1st story is a married couple. The 2nd story houses a dating couple. The 3rd story is home to a blind man and his dog. On the 4th story lives a women. The lady on the 4th story decides to take a shower. She has gotten into the shower when she heard a knck on the door. She puts on her towel and answers the door. Its the dating couple. They say "fongragulate us". the lady asks why. the couple replies saying "We're engaged". She congragulates them and goes back to her shower. There is another knock on the door. She puts on her towel and answers the door. Its the married couple. "Congratulate us" they say. The lady asks why. They reply saying "We're pregnant". She congratulates them and goes to her shower. She hears another knock on the door. She can tell its the blind man because she can hear his lead dog with him so she doesn't bother putting on her towel since hes blind. She answers the door and the blind man says congratulate me. She asks why. The blind man says "I can see".

Roger and Jenny on their wedding night . . .

Roger, 85, married Jenny, a lovely 25 year old.
Since her new husband is so old, Jenny decides that after their wedding she and Roger should have separate bedrooms, because she is concerned that her new but aged husband may over-exert himself if they spend the entire night together.
After the wedding festivities Jenny prepares herself for bed and the expected knock on the door. Sure enough the knock comes, the door opens and there is Roger, her 85 year old groom, ready for action. They unite as one. All goes well, Roger takes leave of his bride, and she prepares to go to sleep.
After a few minutes, Jenny hears another knock on her bedroom door, and it's Roger, Again he is ready for more 'action'. Somewhat surprised, Jenny consents for more coupling. When the newlyweds are done, Roger kisses his bride, bids her a fond good night and leaves.
She is set to go to sleep again, but, aha, you guessed it - Roger is back again, rapping on the door and is as fresh as a 25-year-old, ready for more 'action'. And, once more they enjoy each other.
But as Roger gets set to leave again, his young bride says to him, 'I am thoroughly impressed that at your age you can perform so well and so often. I have been with guys less than a third of your age who were only good once. You are truly a great lover, Roger.'
Roger, somewhat embarrassed, turns to Jenny and says: 'You mean I've been here already tonight?'

A man's wife has been getting onto him for drinking so much...

...but he decides to go out to the bar--just one last time--anyway. As it's his last there, he drinks excessively and gets even more plastered than usual.
The next morning, he wakes up in his own bed not really sure how he got there. Before opening his eyes, he starts imagining how infuriated his wife must be. But when he looks around, his wife isn't there. Instead, there's a hot breakfast on the end table next to a note wishing him a good day and expressing her love.
Suspicious, the man gets out of bed. He goes into the living room and sees a table and chair knocked on their sides and a couple pictures that had fallen off the wall. His son is sitting on the couch, so he asked him what happened.
"Well, Dad, you were pretty drunk when you came home last night," his son replies. "You stumbled in, knocked over the furniture and pictures until Mom woke up and helped you."
"Okay, but what's with the hot breakfast?" he asks. "Why isn't she yelling at me right now?"
"Oh," the son says. "When she tried to lead you into the bedroom, you said, 'No thanks, lady, I'm married.'"

The ice cream cone

Little Johnny was having trouble with math, so his teacher decided to give him some personal attention. The teacher asked, "if there were five birds on a fence, and you knocked one off with a stone, how many birds are there left?
"well," little Johnny answered; "there would be none left because the rest would fly away."
The teacher replied, "actually, the answer is four, but I like the way you're thinking!"
"Okay," little Johnny replied. " I have a question for you now."
This could be interesting, the teacher thought. She said, "well let's hear it then"
"there are three ladies sitting on a bench eating ice cream. One is biting her cone, one is l**... her cone, and one is s**... her cone. Which one is married?"
The teacher is thoroughly puzzled by this. After a couple minutes' worth of thought, she answers, " well I suppose that it would be the one s**... her cone."
"Actually, it's the one with the ring on her finger, but I like the way you're thinking!"

Make fun with this list of one liners, jokes and riddles. Each joke is crafted with thought and creativity, delivering punchlines that are unexpected and witty. The humor about marry me knock knock can easily lighten the mood and bring smiles to people's faces. This compilation of marry me knock knock puns is not just entertaining but also a testament to the art of joke-telling. The jokes in this list are designed to display different humor styles, ensuring that every reader at any age finds something entertaining. Constantly updated, they offer a source of fun that ensures one is always smiling !

Share These Marry Me Knock Knock Jokes With Friends



Marry Me Knock Knock One Liners

Which marry me knock knock one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with marry me knock knock? I can suggest the ones about knock knock love you and i love you knock knock.

  1. Knock knock.
    Who's there?
    Marry.
    Marry who?
    Marry me, please!
  2. Knock knock.
    Who's there?
    Marry.
    Marry who?
    Marry me, please!

Jokes are a form of humor that often involves clever wordplay, puns or unexpected twists in a story. These are usually short narratives or anecdotes crafted with the intent of amusing its audience by ending in an unexpected or humorous punchline. Jokes are a universal form of entertainment that people of all ages like adults, teens, kids and toddlers can enjoy. JokoJokes' FAQ section has answers to questions you may have!

The impact of these marry me knock knock jokes can be both social and psychological. They can help to ease tensions, create bonds between people, and even improve overall mental health. The success of a joke often relies on the delivery, timing, and audience. Jokes can be used in various settings, from social gatherings to professional presentations, and are often employed to lighten the mood or enhance a story.