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Marriage License Jokes

18 marriage license jokes and hilarious marriage license puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about marriage license that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

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Funniest Marriage License Short Jokes

Short marriage license jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The marriage license humour may include short marriage counselor jokes also.

  1. Why were the melons upset when they were denied a marriage license? Because it means they *cantaloupe*
  2. I've heard it said men have been in charge and called the shots throughout history. So explain this to me: Why do you need a new fishing license every year while your marriage license never expires?
  3. Order real register Passport , Visa, Driving License, ID CARDS, marriage certificates, diplomas etc
  4. Buy passports,drivers licenses,ID cards,birth certificates,diplomas,Visas,SSN,Marriage certificates,divorce papers,US green cards

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Marriage License One Liners

Which marriage license one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with marriage license? I can suggest the ones about marriage and marriage proposal.

  1. I like to keep a list of all the girls I've slept with Its called my marriage license
  2. My wife has a contract to give lectures... It's called a marriage license
  3. A marriage license is like a hunting license both allow you to take away a life.
  4. I wish I knew before the wedding, That my marriage license had an expiry date.
  5. A gay couple get a marriage license in Alabama...

Marriage License Funny Jokes And Hilarious Puns.

What funny jokes about marriage license you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean married life jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make marriage license pranks.

⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language

A joke from my 84yo patient earlier today...

When a man and a woman get married, they apply for a marriage license. When two l**... tie the knot, what do they get?
A liquor license! (read it out loud)

⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language

What do you call the marriage license for a couple whose main k**... is b**...?

A restraining order!

A nice, calm and respectable lady went into the pharmacy, right up to the pharmacist, looked straight into his eyes, and said, "I would like to buy some cyanide."
The pharmacist asked, "Why in the world do you need cyanide?"
The lady replied, "I need it to poison my husband."
The pharmacists eyes got big and he exclaimed, "Lord have mercy! I can't give you cyanide to kill your husband! That's against the law! I'll lose my license! They'll throw both of us in jail! All kinds of bad things will happen. Absolutely not! You CANNOT have any cyanide!"
The lady reached into her purse and pulled out a picture of her husband in bed with the pharmacist's wife. 
The pharmacist looked at the picture and replied, "Well now. That's different. You didn't tell me you had a prescription."

⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language

Andrew went to Medical Insurance to apply for his pension.


The woman behind the bench asked for his driving license to verify his age, but he had left his wallet home.
He said to her that he had to go home and return later.
The woman said: "Unbuckle your shirt."
And so he did, revealing his curly, gray hair of his chest.
"These gray hair is quite a nice proof for me," she said and continued with his application form.
When Andrew went home, he said to his wife what had happened.
"You should have taken your pants off," she said, "Maybe you would have taken disability pension too!"