Marriage Counselor Jokes
19 marriage counselor jokes and hilarious marriage counselor puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about marriage counselor that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Funniest Marriage Counselor Short Jokes
Short marriage counselor jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The marriage counselor humour may include short marriage counseling jokes also.
- My marriage counselor asked if it was true that I generally wake up grumpy in the morning I said, "Nah, most of the time I just let her sleep"
- The marriage counselor suggested we try different positions. I said, "We can't be too long, my wife is on the way."
- Why is Obi-wan Kenobi a terrible marriage counselor? The only advice he gives is Use di-
vorce - My wife was not happy after our marriage counselor asked me what I hoped to be in a year. I replied, A widower.
- My wife and I started visiting a marriage counselor He mentioned that I should start to treat her like our first date
So I took her to dinner, a movie, then dropped her off at her parents house. - A wife dragged her husband to their marriage counselor appointment with his fishing net. "Do you see what I have to put up with," the wife says.
"Yes," said the counselor. "He's obviously in seine." - Every marriage counselor should be replaced by robots... because they take arguments and return values.
- My marriage counselor told me to try anything my wife wants to do for at least 10 minutes. So she asked me to hold my breath.
- What did the marriage counselor say when asked if his methods work? It has worked for a couple.
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Marriage Counselor One Liners
Which marriage counselor one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with marriage counselor? I can suggest the ones about marriage counselling and marriage advice.
- Why did the melons go to the marriage counselor? Because they cant eloup
Unearthly Funniest Marriage Counselor Jokes to Tickle Your Sides
What funny jokes about marriage counselor you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean counselor jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make marriage counselor pranks.
A married couple come to the marriage counselor...
A married couple come to the marriage counselor. The wife complains:
- We were having a perfect marriage until his girlfriend started dating my boyfriend..
Marriage counselor: What's the problem? Me: My wife needs help. Every night, she's roaming from one bar to another. She has to stop it. Marriage counselor: Is she an alcoholic?
Me: No, she's looking for me
A young man was in love with two women and could not decide which of them to marry.
Finally he went to a marriage counselor. When asked to describe his two loves, he noted that one was a great poet and the other made delicious pancakes.
"Oh" said the counselor, "I see what the problem is. You can't decide whether to marry for batter or verse."
An IT technician and his wife go to marriage counseling The IT technician's wife frustratedly explains to the counselor
"Everything would be fine... but my husband just doesn't want to have s**... with me!"
The counselor thinks for a second, then wonders:
"Have you tried turning him off and on again?"
A married couple goes to a marriage counselor...
"What seems to be the problem?", asks the counselor
The wife says, "My husband wont talk to me anymore."
The counselor turns to the husband and asks, "Is this true?"
The husband replies "Well i dont like to interrupt."
Same service...
A husband visited a marriage counselor and said, "When we were first married, I would come home from the office, my wife would bring me water and our cute little dog would run around barking. Now after ten years it\`s all different. I come home, the dog brings the water and my wife runs around barking."
"Why complain ?" said the counselor, "You re still getting the same service!"
Immaturity defined
Husband says to marriage counselor:
"My wife is so immature."
"Can you give me an example?" the counselor asked.
"Well, like every time I'm taking a bath she comes in and sinks all my ships."
Three women talk about their husband's performance as lovers.
The first woman says, "My husband is a marriage counselor, so he always buys me flowers and candy before we make love."
The second woman says, "My husband is a motorcycle mechanic. He likes to play rough and use leather sometimes."
The third woman shakes her head and says, "My husband works for an Internet company. He just sits on the edge of the bed and tells me how great it's going to be when I get it."
A recent widow was crying to a grief counselor.
“We were married twenty-five years before he died,” she said, dabbing away a tear. “Never had an argument in all those years.”
“Amazing,” said the councilor. “How did you do it?”
“I outweighed him by forty pounds and he was a coward.”
