JokoJokes

Marriage Counselling Jokes

17 marriage counselling jokes and hilarious marriage counselling puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about marriage counselling that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

Quick Jump To

Funniest Marriage Counselling Short Jokes

Short marriage counselling jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The marriage counselling humour may include short marriage counseling jokes also.

  1. What is marriage counseling? You just pay someone 300$ an hour to watch you and your wife fight
  2. So a husband and wife go to marriage counseling. The counsellor says, "We should begin with something you both have in common."
    So the man says, "Well, we both hate giving blow jobs."
  3. A zombie and a ghost go for marriage counselling And are asked to share their honest feelings
    The Zombie "Sometimes I feel like you're not even here!"
    The Ghost "Whatever, you're dead to me"
  4. A blackjack dealer left his wife behind at their marriage counseling appointment... he just couldn't deal with it anymore
  5. A necromancer and a f**... director are at marriage counselling. Counsellor: So, why are you guys here today?
    f**... Director: He only wants me for my bodies!

Share These Marriage Counselling Jokes With Friends




Marriage Counselling One Liners

Which marriage counselling one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with marriage counselling? I can suggest the ones about marriage counselor and marriage advice.

  1. A typical Single-cells' marriage counseling Same old story we've grown apart, says one
  2. Marriage counselling sydney

Marriage Counselling Funny Jokes And Hilarious Puns.

What funny jokes about marriage counselling you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean married life jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make marriage counselling pranks.

A couple is having a marriage counseling session.

The husband said my wife keeps referencing star wars! I cant take it anymore! And storms out of the room.
The wife replied divorce is strong with this one.

A husband visited marriage counselled

and said: "When we were first married, | would
come home from the office, my wife would bring
my slippers and our cute little dog would run
around barking.
Now after ten years it's different. | come home,
the dog brings the slippers and my wife runs
around barking."
Said the counsellor: "Why complain. You are still
getting the same service.
In the corporate world they call it,
*Job Rotation*

An IT technician and his wife go to marriage counseling The IT technician's wife frustratedly explains to the counselor

"Everything would be fine... but my husband just doesn't want to have s**... with me!"
The counselor thinks for a second, then wonders:
"Have you tried turning him off and on again?"

Married in the arctic circle

After 30 years of unfulfilling matrimony a crotchety old Alaskan couple finally decide to seek marriage counseling.
Upon the first meeting with their therapist they both sit down awkwardly on the couch, and pull back their Anorak hoods only to realize that they've been married to the WRONG person for the past 30 years.
The wife sighs, looks at the doctor and exclaims "It's like I've been trying to tell him doctor, I'm just not that Inuit."

After 30 years of marriage...

After 30 years of marriage a husband and wife came for counseling. When asked what the problem was, the wife went into a tirade listing every problem they had ever had in the years they had been married. On and on she went: Neglect, lack of intimacy, emptiness, loneliness, feeling unloved and unlovable, and entire laundry list of unmet needs she had endured.
Finally, after allowing this for a sufficient length of time, the therapist got up, walked around the desk and after asking the wife to stand, he embraced and kissed her long and passionately as her husband watched - with a raised eyebrow.
The woman shut up and quietly sat down as though in a daze.
The therapist turned to the husband and said, "This is what your wife needs at least 3 times a week. Can you do this?
"Well, I can drop her off here on Mondays and Wednesdays, but on Fridays, I fish."

A sad wife goes to marriage counseling

"I'm serious, she says, it's like I don't exist! He comes from work, takes off his shoes, and without even looking at me he just asks what's for dinner... What can I do to bring the flame back?"
"I have an idea, replies the counselor. Go and buy spme s**... l**... and a mask of some kind and when he comes back from work you'll see a change.'
The wife went and bought the l**... and a black mask for her eyes. When her husband arrived she was leaning against the kitchen door looking like a seductress.
The husband took off his shoes, looked up at his wife and without showing any sign of excitement he asked:
"Hey Zorro, what's for dinner?"

A man was camping when suddenly a wild boar appeared

A man was camping when suddenly a wild boar appeared. It charged at the man and trampled him leaving him inches from death then trashed his campsite.
When the man recovered a bit, he used all the energy he could muster and called 911.
Dispatcher: "911 Emergency, what is your situation?"
Him: "A pig just destroyed everything and I think I'm about to die"
Dispatcher: "Sorry, there's nothing we can do about your wife. Try calling marriage counseling instead."

At a marriage counselling session for men...

... the counseller asked the men to divide themselves into those that always listen to their wives as a group, and those that are able to stand up for themselves as another group.
Expecting a sweeping outcome, the counseller was surprised to see John sitting alone in the group for men able to stand up for themself. Curious yet glad to have an example, the counseller asked John "Hey John, please share your experience with us so that we may all learn."
To that, John strongly replied "My wife told me not to sit with the crowd."