Marriage Anniversary Jokes
20 marriage anniversary jokes and hilarious marriage anniversary puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about marriage anniversary that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Funniest Marriage Anniversary Short Jokes
Short marriage anniversary jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The marriage anniversary humour may include short wedding anniversary jokes also.
- I bought my wife and I Walkie-Talkies for our anniversary but I can't tell if she likes them. Wife: "We don't need walkie-Talkies, this marriage is over."
Me: "This marriage is what? Over." - My wife and I just celebrated 10 years of a happy marriage! Coincidentally it happened to be our 30th anniversary.
- What's the best way to get a man to remember your anniversary? Get married on his birthday.
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Hilarious Fun Marriage Anniversary Jokes to Bring Joy & Laughter with Friends
What funny jokes about marriage anniversary you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean anniversary present jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make marriage anniversary pranks.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A man was asked for his secret to a long lasting marriage...
**"Well, i took my wife to Italy on our honeymoon."** *"so what are you guys doing for your 20th wedding anniversary?"*
**"Im going back to get her."**
The air hostess comes to know that the old married couple is...
flying to Hawaii on their 50th marriage anniversary.
She asks them how it feels to be married for so long.
The old man replies: "It all felt like 5 minutes..."
The air hostess was about to reply on the profoundness of what he said, when he earned a slap from the old lady for his next word:
"...underwater".
--Taken from All in a day's work; Reader's digest
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
For past 20 years, my wife has been complaining about my not putting the cap back on the toothpaste.
This anniversary, I decided to change this bad habit and make my wife happy.
For a week, I was diligent, always capping the toothpaste.
I was expecting my wife to thank me, but she never did it.
Finally, last night, she turned and looked at me and said - "Why have you stopped brushing your teeth since a week ??"
Marriage is a social crime, I tell you.
On their 40th wedding anniversary and during the banquet celebrating it, Tom was asked to give his friends a brief account of the benefits of a marriage of such long duration...
"Tell us Tom, just what is it you have learned from all those wonderful years with your wife?"
Tom responds, "Well, I've learned that marriage is the best teacher of all. It teaches you loyalty, forbearance, meekness, self-restraint, forgiveness --and a great many other qualities you wouldn't have needed if you'd stayed single."
Wedding Anniversary
*Two old friends were talking*
"When I and my wife made 25 years of marriage I took her on a trip to Japan"
"Really? And what are you going to do to celebrate your 50 years wedding anniversary?"
"I'm bringing her back"
Key to a successful marriage
A couple was celebrating their 50th wedding anniversary. The husband was asked what was the secret to their marriage. He replied, When we first got married, we agreed that I would make all the big decisions and she would make all the small decisions. So far it's been all small decisions.
A couple celebrating their 50th anniversary had many well wishers stop by to congratulate them.
After all of their guest had left, the two settled into recliners.
“Mother,” the man said, “our marriage is tried and true.”
“What’s that you say?” she asked. “You know I can’t hear without my hearing aid.”
“I said, our marriage is tried and true,” he repated, a little louder.
A couple celebrated their 25th wedding anniversary.
When they were asked what their secret was to a long lasting marriage they said:
"We take the time to go out to a restaurant two times a week. A candlelight dinner, soft music and a slow walk home. She goes on Tuesdays, and I go on Fridays."
10 Years Marriage
Men: Honey, what would you like to have for our anniversary?
Women: My gift should be able to go from 0 to 100 in no more than 3 seconds!
The men went out for some hours and came back with a scale.
Marriage Anniversaries
A couple on their tenth anniversary went to a restaurant because they liked the wine list.
On the twentieth, they went because it was good for the kids.
On their thirtieth, they went because it was quiet.
On their fortieth, they went because it was wheelchair accessible.
On the fiftieth, they went because they had never been and had heard it was good.
Marriage jokes
A woman turns to her husband on their silver wedding anniversary and says, 'Darling, will you still love me when my hair turns grey?' Her husband replies, 'Why not? I stuck with you through the other six shades.'
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A couple is being interviewed for they 50th marriage anniversary
Journalist: In fifty years of marriage you never though about a divorce?
Wife: h**..., yes. Divorce, never!
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
After getting divorced,
I met a g**... a first date
Girl: where were you before?
Me: i was in jail, i just came out after doing 10 years.
Girl: why? What crime did you commit?
Me: I committed a marriage.
** today is my 10th anniversary and i just created this joke**
Italian Anniversary
At the church's husbands' marriage seminar, the Priest asked Luigi, on his upcoming 50th
wedding anniversary, to take a few minutes and share some insight into how he managed to
stay married to the same woman all these years.
Luigi replied to the audience "Well, I've-a tried to treat-a her well, spend-a the money on her, but-a, da best-a is-a dat I took her to Italy for the 20th-a anniversary!
The Priest immediately commented, "Luigi, you are an amazing inspiration to all the husbands here! Please tell the audience what you are planning for your wife for your 50th anniversary."
Luigi proudly replied, "I'm-a gonna go and-a get her."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A married couple go golfing every year for their anniversary.
During their 50th anniversary outing, the husband says, "Honey, I love you very much but I have to be honest with you. Early in our marriage I had an affair. It was strictly s**..., and it ended quickly."
His wife smiles and forgives him, but after a couple holes says, "Since we're confessing old transgressions, I should tell you that before we were married... I was a man."
The husband pauses, then becomes furious. He throws his hat to the ground, turns beat red and paces around. Finally he says, "You mean to tell me I've let you tee off from the women's tee all these years for nothing!"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
a nice Italian couple . . .
At St. Peter's Catholic Church in Toronto, they have weekly husbands'
marriage seminars.
At the session last week, the priest asked Giuseppe, who said he was
approaching his 50th wedding anniversary, to take a few minutes and
share some insight into how he had managed to stay married to the
same woman all these years.
Giuseppe replied to the assembled husbands, 'Wella, I'va tried to
treat her nicea, spenda da money on her, but besta of all is, I tooka
her to Italy for the 25th anniversary!'
The priest responded, 'Giuseppe, you are an amazing inspiration to all
the husbands here! Please tell us what you are planning for your wife
for your 50th anniversary?
Giuseppe proudly replied, " I gonna go p**... her up."
Fifty Years of Marriage
An older gentleman goes into a bar and hears the other patrons discussing the ups and down of mariage.
"Next week my wife and I will celebrate our fiftieth anniversary," he tells them.
"That's great. What's your secret for a long and happy marriage," one asks.
"Well, you have to do nice things for your wife."
"Such as?"
"Well, for our twenty fifth anniversary I took her to Italy."
"That is nice. What are you going to do for your fiftieth?"
"I'm going back to visit her."