Marriage Advice Jokes

15 marriage advice jokes and hilarious marriage advice puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about marriage advice that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

When the wedding bells ring and the honeymoon phase fizzles out, a little humor can give a refreshing perspective to the marriage journey. And that's exactly what we serve up in this article, a collection of hilarious Jokes on Marriage Advice.

These quips of funny marriage advice for newlyweds, interspersed with bits of old-fashioned marriage advice, are perfect tools to break the ice at your next wedding toast or lighten the mood among hitched couples. These comical takes are not just for your amusement but also serve as an endearing set of wedding advice for the couple.

Amid the charming chaos of married realms, they remind us of a simple, unadorned truth – that laughter, indeed, is the best marriage counselor. So whether you're newly married or a veteran in the realm of togetherness, prepare to laugh, relate, and embrace this matrimonial jest.

Funniest Marriage Advice Short Jokes

Short marriage advice jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The marriage advice humour may include short marriage counseling jokes also.

  1. What advice did Obi-Wan give Luke when Luke's marriage was falling apart? Use divorce, Luke
  2. Never understood why my friends never asked for relationship advice from me..... I've had over 9 successful marriages.
  3. Why is Obi-wan Kenobi a terrible marriage counselor? The only advice he gives is Use di-
  4. Why didn't Luke Skywalker's marriages ever last? He wanted to follow Obi-Wan's advice: "Use divorce, Luke"
  5. Why do Jedis make bad marriage counsellors? Their only advice to males is "use the force".
  6. Marriage Joke? My sisters getting married and I need a good joke about marriage to write in my sisters "advice" book.
  7. Marriage advice for dummies: Five worst things you can do
    5 Abandon
    4 Lie
    3 Cheat
    2 a**.
    1 Forget to start the dishwasher

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Marriage Advice One Liners

Which marriage advice one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with marriage advice? I can suggest the ones about marriage counselling and marriage counselor.

  1. What advice did Obi-Wan give Luke as his marriage was going downhill? Use divorce, Luke

Howlingly Hilarious Marriage Advice Jokes for an Unforgettable Evening

What funny jokes about marriage advice you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean married life jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make marriage advice pranks.

An engaged man asked his father for advice for a long and happy marriage...

Dad, you and Mom have been happily married for 28 years now. How do you do it?
"That's easy son, when your Mom and I first got married, we made a deal. She would make all the little decisions, and I would make all the big decisions. "
Hey, that sounds like a good arrangement. But how do you decide what's a big decision, and what's a little decision?
"Oh, there hasn't been any big decisions yet."

Marriage Advice

It was a long time ago, but I still remember my Father dispensing this important advice, "Son, marry a girl who has the same belief as the whole family."

To which I replied, "Dad, why would I marry a girl who believes I'm a m**...?"

At my granddaughter's wedding, the DJ polled the guests to see who had been married longest.

It turned out to be my husband and I. The DJ asked us, What advice would you give to the newly-married couple?
I said, The three most important words in a marriage are, 'You're probably right.
Everyone then looked at my husband and he said, She's probably right.

After performing a marriage ceremony, the Rabbi gave some advice to the newlyweds.

"The first ten years are always the hardest," said the Rabbi.
"How many years have you been married?" They asked.
"Ten years," the Rabbi replied.

A man named Arnold offers his newly married son advice on long lasting marriage

"The key, my boy, is to have daily s**..."
"But dad, you and mom don't even sleep on the same bed anymore," replies his son
"I was getting to that," continues Arnold, "tip numba two, get a hot housekeeper."

A woman has lived through an abusive relationship with her husband for 10 years.

The husband has beaten her many times over the course of their marriage. Finally, she decides to get a divorce. Everything goes through as normal, and soon she's on her own again. As she is leaving the courthouse, a stranger stops her, having overheard the proceedings.

"What do you want?" the lady asks him.

"I heard of your problems in marriage... let me give you a little piece of advice. If you decide to remarry, do it with a player from the Cleveland Browns," the stranger says.


"Isn't it obvious? The Cleveland Browns don't beat anybody."

jokes about marriage advice