Marker Jokes
46 marker jokes and hilarious marker puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about marker that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Make your friends laugh with these hilarious expo marker jokes! From tracer puns to blackboard gags, you'll have a great time learning to draw a smile on the faces of your family and friends!
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Funniest Marker Short Jokes
Short marker jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The marker humour may include short marks jokes also.
- I just bought a Dalmatian puppy... And I've found out that if you join all the dots together with a marker pen...
It doesn't wash off... - Next time I hit the club, I'm coloring myself head to toe with a permanent marker, and that's all I'll wear. Because every girl's crazy 'bout a Sharpie-dressed man.
- Why was the teacher arrested for writing in permanent marker? He wrote "1 + 0 = 0" and then spent the rest of the lesson trying to rub one out...
- I was called to school because my 9 year old son vandalized a wall in school's bathroom with a permanent marker again That's where he drew the line
- Why did the blackboard sue the dry erase marker? Because the dry erase marker would only work with the whiteboard.
- I was amazed to find out that Europeans use whiteboards the same way as Americans... They just pick up the marker, Denmark on it.
- This morning I passed by a car that had a handicap marker and a bumper sticker that read "JESUS IS STILL THE ANSWER". Made me laugh anyway.
- I am going to use black and blue markers because y'all are going to feel beaten up after this section.
~My Math Professor - I wasn't worried on our flight until the crew handed out markers for us to write names on our arms and legs
- I said to my students that I'd write an off-color joke on the whiteboard Then I wrote some random words with my white board marker. Nobody laughed.
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Marker One Liners
Which marker one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with marker? I can suggest the ones about flag and label.
- I always give 100% Which is why I was sacked from being an exam marker.
- Why did the nurse carry a red marker with her? In case she had to draw blood.
- When is the best occasion to wear a gravestone marker hat? When your hair is dyed
- What marker is only sold in shady areas? Mr. Sketch.
- I drew on my friend with a marker. He asked why I did it, and I replied "felt like it".
- How do you turn a brown crayon into a red marker? [oc] Hemorrhoids.
- I saw this guy scribbling on a poor dog with a marker pen. It was a Sharpei.
- What's a stoners favorite marker? A Highlighter
- I carry a permanent marker just in case someone without a mustache falls asleep.
- Yo momma so fat her belt loops have mile markers.
- What do you call a horse getting carried away with a magic marker? A zebra.
- I have been trying to trace my father, but i cannot find a marker
- What is the only thing more permanent than a Sharpie marker? A STD.
- What did one dog say to the other when he wanted a marker? "Pass the Shar Pei, please."
- What'd you call a marker that smokes w**...? A highlighter
Expo Marker Jokes
Here is a list of funny expo marker jokes and even better expo marker puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- I think of my husband as an expo marker..... He can color me black and blue but at least his easy to rub off.
Quirky and Hilarious Marker Jokes to Let the Chuckles Begin.
What funny jokes about marker you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean signature jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make marker pranks.
The year is 2540, a student notices something odd about his history book
How come these textbooks skip the years 1990 through 1999? He asks
The teacher puts down his marker, lowers his head and sighs.
Because... he lifts his head, a single tear rolls down his cheek, ...only 90's kids remember the 90's
So, my 3 year old cousin was over this morning.
I needed to grab a quick shower as I let him watch cartoons in the living room. When I came out, there was black permanent marker all over my 55 inch TV screen. I LITERALLY FREAKED OUT. Does anyone know what is best used to clean blood out of a carpet?
LPT Request: My 2 year old son drew in permanent marker all over the walls
So I took a shower earlier today and left my 2 year old son in the living room with the TV on thinking he would be ok. I come out 20 minutes later and he covered the entire living room in green permanent marker that he somehow got a hold of. As you can imagine, I flipped out and immediately ran to the store to buy cleaning supplies. I tried at least five different types, and scrubbed for at least half an hour but the stain was still there. Does anybody have any good methods for getting blood out of the carpet?
Einstein, Newton, and Pascal are playing hide and seek.
Einstein, the seeker, turns around and begins his count to 50. Pascal immediately runs off. Newton, however, takes a marker and draws a meter-by-meter square on the ground. When Einstein finishes his count, he turns around and sees Newton standing in his square. When Einstein exclaims that he found Newton, Newton responds with, "No, one Newton over a square meter is a pascal!"
So *that's* how it works. [true story]
Went to visit a friend at his work (he's a chemist). There's a placard on the wall of the lab that says:
"Safety Reminder: Many Hands Make Light Work!"
Scrawled below that in black marker:
"Gee. All these years of college and I thought it was wave/particle duality."
In an attempt to break his addiction...
In an attempt to break his addiction, a chronic masturbator decides to buy a whiteboard and start tallying the days since he last j**... off. After a successful day, the man grabs a marker and draws two tallies, but realizing it had only been one day, he takes his hand and rubs one out.
Old Buddy Hackett Joke:
A very young amorous couple were walking through a cemetary and feeling frisky . So the woman lay down on a grave marker and they made love. A week later the woman's back is still hurting her , so she sees a doctor. The doctor tells her to disrobe, then tells her to turn around to examine her back . The doctor asks her," How old are you?". She says ," I'm 20 years old, why do you ask." The doctor replies, " Because your a**... says you died in 1898."
2 newfies go fishing
So they go to the local marina and rent a small boat. After trying several spots they find a good spot and land many nice fish.
The guy in the front says to his buddy:
" This is a great spot, we should mark it"
So his pal pulls a sharpie marker out of his coat and draws a big X on the bottom of the boat.
"That ain't gonna work, siily" says the guy in the bow.
"Why not?" Asks the other guy. Bow guy responds:
"We might not get the same boat next time"
Made this one with my son
My son was playing with a cardboard sword one day and then gave me one. He told me, "draw your weapon!"
I asked him, "Okay, with marker or crayon?"
I still remind him of that to this day. It never gets old
James Bond is on a mission to the white house
007: Q!
Q: Yes sir
007: Do you have the package?
Q: Yes sir! It's armed and ready
007: Good. Now do you have a marker on you
Q: Uhh sure here
007: thanks
*writes on package: From Russia with Love*
007: He'll never suspect a thing
Three men - one blind, one deaf, one dumb - participate in a game show...
The blind man is shown a map with a marker and asked to name the exact place it is pointing to. Being blind though, he is well versed in Braille, so he begins feeling the map with his hands and after a few seconds says "Grenoble, France".
"Correct! 50 points for Mr. Blind", says the host.
The deaf man is played a particular song and asked to identify its singer. Being deaf though, he is a keen observer and lip-reader. He notices one of the people in the audience singing along with the song, reads their lip, and says, "Stand Tall, by Burton Cummings."
"Correct! 50 points for Mr. Deaf", says the host.
Finally, the dumb man is asked to spell "Mississippi". After thinking for a few seconds, he says, "M-R-S. S-I-P-P-Y".
How is Bill Cosby like a permanent marker at a frat party?
They're both black and touch you after you pass out.
