The Best 28 Marker Jokes

Following is our collection of funniest Marker jokes. There are some marker wrote jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud. Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these marker graffiti puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Funny Marker Jokes and Puns

I always give 100%

Which is why I was sacked from being an exam marker.

So *that's* how it works. [true story]

Went to visit a friend at his work (he's a chemist). There's a placard on the wall of the lab that says:

"Safety Reminder: Many Hands Make Light Work!"

Scrawled below that in black marker:

"Gee. All these years of college and I thought it was wave/particle duality."

How is Bill Cosby like a permanent marker at a frat party?

They're both black and touch you after you pass out.

Marker joke, How is Bill Cosby like a permanent marker at a frat party?

LPT Request: My 2 year old son drew in permanent marker all over the walls

So I took a shower earlier today and left my 2 year old son in the living room with the TV on thinking he would be ok. I come out 20 minutes later and he covered the entire living room in green permanent marker that he somehow got a hold of. As you can imagine, I flipped out and immediately ran to the store to buy cleaning supplies. I tried at least five different types, and scrubbed for at least half an hour but the stain was still there. Does anybody have any good methods for getting blood out of the carpet?

What do you call a horse getting carried away with a magic marker?

A zebra.


What's a stoners favorite marker?

A Highlighter

Why was the teacher arrested for writing in permanent marker?

He wrote "1 + 0 = 0" and then spent the rest of the lesson trying to rub one out...

Marker joke, Why was the teacher arrested for writing in permanent marker?

What marker is only sold in shady areas?

Mr. Sketch.

I think of my husband as an expo marker.....

He can color me black and blue but at least his easy to rub off.

I just bought a Dalmatian puppy...

And I've found out that if you join all the dots together with a marker pen...

It doesn't wash off...

Einstein, Newton, and Pascal are playing hide and seek.

Einstein, the seeker, turns around and begins his count to 50. Pascal immediately runs off. Newton, however, takes a marker and draws a meter-by-meter square on the ground. When Einstein finishes his count, he turns around and sees Newton standing in his square. When Einstein exclaims that he found Newton, Newton responds with, "No, one Newton over a square meter is a pascal!"

You can explore marker tracer reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean marker whiteboard dad jokes. There are also marker puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.


Next time I hit the club, I'm coloring myself head to toe with a permanent marker, and that's all I'll wear.

Because every girl's crazy 'bout a Sharpie-dressed man.

This morning I passed by a car that had a handicap marker and a bumper sticker that read "JESUS IS STILL THE ANSWER".

Made me laugh anyway.

Why did the blackboard sue the dry erase marker?

Because the dry erase marker would only work with the whiteboard.

I drew on my friend with a marker.

He asked why I did it, and I replied "felt like it".

I said to my students that I'd write an off-color joke on the whiteboard

Then I wrote some random words with my white board marker. Nobody laughed.

Marker joke, I said to my students that I'd write an off-color joke on the whiteboard

So, my 3 year old cousin was over this morning.

I needed to grab a quick shower as I let him watch cartoons in the living room. When I came out, there was black permanent marker all over my 55 inch TV screen. I LITERALLY FREAKED OUT. Does anyone know what is best used to clean blood out of a carpet?

I was called to school because my 9 year old son vandalized a wall in school's bathroom with a permanent marker again

That's where he drew the line

I saw this guy scribbling on a poor dog with a marker pen.

It was a Sharpei.


How do you turn a brown crayon into a red marker? [oc]

Hemorrhoids.

I was amazed to find out that Europeans use whiteboards the same way as Americans...

They just pick up the marker, Denmark on it.

I asked the blonde nurse why she had a red magic marker.

She said it's easier to draw blood with it.

Doctor, doctor I keep thinking I'm a French floating water marker.

Eau Buoy !
(This only works for Brits, as Americans say it like it's boo-ee)

I have been trying to trace my father,

but i cannot find a marker

What'd you call a marker that smokes weed?

A highlighter

James Bond is on a mission to the white house

007: Q!

Q: Yes sir

007: Do you have the package?

Q: Yes sir! It's armed and ready

007: Good. Now do you have a marker on you

Q: Uhh sure here

007: thanks

*writes on package: From Russia with Love*

007: He'll never suspect a thing

The year is 2540, a student notices something odd about his history book

How come these textbooks skip the years 1990 through 1999? He asks

The teacher puts down his marker, lowers his head and sighs.

Because... he lifts his head, a single tear rolls down his cheek, ...only 90's kids remember the 90's

When is the best occasion to wear a gravestone marker hat?

When your hair is dyed

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the marker dots jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working marker highlighter piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

Joko Jokes